


Heir of Darkness

by renfics



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Carbonite, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Reader, It’s very plot heavy, Multi-Era, POV Third Person, Plot Twists, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, The Dark Side of the Force, but more angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 152,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renfics/pseuds/renfics
Summary: Two Sith apprentices, but only one can be the new Darth Vader.Kylo Ren never anticipated having competition within the First Order, but when Supreme Leader Snoke pits him against a lost Sith apprentice it's fight or flight.  Now chasing the Resistance isn't his only problem.Meanwhile, Ren's competition has to work out how to adjust to the new world she finds herself unwillingly thrown into, all whilst watching her back, since Kylo Ren seems to want her dead.|| Begins pre-TFA ||
Relationships: Ben Solo/Reader, Ben Solo/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 233
Kudos: 510





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Written in third person, reader has an alias used for a majority of the fic, but all descriptions are open to reader insert.

"It's almost a year since we found her Supreme Leader, why now?" Posture poised as ever, General Hux kept his hands firmly behind his back as he addressed Snoke.

"I have my reasons General, and they are not yours to question" The hologram challenged Hux, leaning forward to intimidate him further.

"My apologies. I'll see to it that she is woken up today." With a short nod of his head, Hux patiently waited to be excused.

With a wave of his hand, Snoke signalled for Hux to depart - however as he was leaving he called after him, "General, see to it that my apprentice is present when she awakes."

A look of confusion crossed Hux's face, but he knew better than to question direct orders and the sickening grin that had crossed Snoke's face said enough: he had something planned which he was definitely keeping to himself.

Without another word, the hologram of Snoke disappeared and Hux let out a breath he didn't realise he had been holding. Exiting the room, the General called over a pair of passing Stormtroopers and sent them to the Med Bay with the message to prep for the task at hand. Meanwhile, he had the dangerous job of giving Kylo Ren an order.

><><><><><><><><

Kylo Ren watched from behind his mask as a doctor and a handful of nurses gathered around the statue of a woman. He could tell that his mere presence there put everyone on edge, except General Hux - he was just aggravated, as usual. Ren remembered the very day when the team searching the Death Star wreckage reported something unusual - not only did they find a Carbon Freezing chamber, they found... someone. It was hard to say, nobody knew who she was and they couldn't make out much of her appearance from her encasement.

He had let it go pretty quickly, after all, he had more important matters to focus on but now suddenly Snoke was having her woken up and specifically ordered his presence in the Med Bay. Hux played it off as Ren possibly needing to put her to sleep in hurry, but he knew the doctors were more than capable of doing that - he could sense a disturbance in the force, Snoke had something more planned.

"Her vitals are still stable. When she wakes up she'll likely be disorientated and may experience nausea - this is a grey area for us, Carbon Freezing hasn't been practised for years." The Doctor explained to nobody in particular as himself and the nurses began to prepare equipment and a bed to put the mystery woman on.

"Just get it done, Doctor." Hux piped up from his position beside Kylo Ren.

"Yes General."

With that, he began to adjust the dials on the side of the carbon which encased the woman. Quickly, everyone in the room stepped back as the carbon visibly began to melt showing the first glimpse of skin around her face. It wasn't long before she was free, instantly falling to hit the floor as two nurses rushed in to catch her.

Ren examined the woman closely, her H/C hair was loose and wet from where the carbon had melted around it, her outfit consisted of high waisted black trousers with a cropped long sleeve top of the same colour and belt around her waist, the buckle of which resembled the emblem of the Galactic Empire. She didn't look like she worked in admin or command, she looked ready for battle - but what really caught his attention was the Lightsaber hilt attached to her waist. He had a feeling that Snoke knew something he didn't about all of this.

Before the doctor could give any instructions to the nurses, the woman began to violently lash out, in what could only be assumed was self-defence. Ren narrowed his eyes from behind his mask, she looked unwell, as though she was about to throw up at any given moment but clearly the disorientation was threatening her.

As the nurses and doctor scrambled to get ahold of the woman, they only found themselves constantly lunging back to avoid her uncoordinated but powerful swings. It seemed as though she couldn't even see where she was swinging.

"Feel free to step in at any time." Hux gave Ren a judgemental side-eye, with sarcasm dripping from his tone.

Kylo exhaled a sigh and raised his hand to restrain the woman through the force. This gave the doctor enough time to administer a sedative at which point Kylo let her go, and her body went limp.

"Well, that went splendidly." Hux dryly stated. He was lucky he couldn't see Ren's eyes because if looks could kill, Hux would be a dead man.

"We'll keep her sedated whilst we check her vitals and see what other side effects the Suspended Animation may have had on her. We don't know how long it's been since she's been conscious, but we can find out." The Doctor, clearly a bit shaken up by what he had just witnessed, explained to his two superiors.

"Notify us of any changes." Kylo's mechanical voice replied, paying nobody any further mind as he swept around and stormed out of the room.

"By that, he means we want to know when she wakes up." Hux added, "and perhaps consider restraining her, Doctor."

Hux straightened his back and briskly followed after Kylo Ren, leaving the medical staff to cope with their latest problem.

Ren suddenly had nothing but questions on his mind as he made his way back to his quarters. Snoke wanted him there, but why? She had a lightsaber, but he felt no connection to the force within her. As he removed the outer layers of his tunic and placed his helmet on the table infinite scenarios continued to run throughout his mind. But all he really wanted to know was whether or not this woman was a threat to him or not.

Only time would tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fic is the brainchild of my random 2am thoughts - I had the urge to write it so here it is! The whole Suspended Animation may seem like a stretch but Star Wars is literally set in space so...
> 
> In the coming chapters there will be much more Kylo content!


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mysterious woman is awake. The General and Commander have some questions for her, but she's not as willing to comply as they had hoped - and Kylo Ren's attitude is as unhelpful as ever.

"Stay calm Ma'am, you're okay." A gentle voice was the first thing to come to her attention. Slowly, she began to open her eyes but the blinding lights caused her to wince and quickly close them again.

"Send word to High Command that she's awake." The same voice then whispered to someone else.

Trying once again to open her eyes the same light hit her, she attempted to raise her hand to shield her vision but found herself restrained to the bed she lay on.

"What happened?" She croaked, not expecting her throat to be so dry. She once again tugged at the restraints - yep, they were definitely real. She racked her brains to try and remember what had happened, but right now it was all a blur, she just felt lightheaded.

The nurse could see the way she pulled at the restraints around her wrists in confusion, and she quickly took pity on the young woman, after all the last thing she wanted to do was panic her. Slowly, the nurse began to release her wrists from their confinement, earning herself a quiet 'thank you' from her patient.

"They're on their way to explain everything to you now." With a soft smile, she helped the woman move into a sitting position and handed her a glass of water.

"Who's on their way?" She quickly spotted the nurse's reaction - as if she knew something that she wasn't at liberty to tell her. Her mind was now beginning to clear, and all she felt was unease.

The nurse remained silent. It just increased the young woman's anxiety about the whole situation - something was _very_ wrong.

"I'm sorry I'm not at liberty to say anything more." With a small nod, she excused herself, leaving the woman alone with her thoughts.

_"I don't understand, why won't you let me help you?"_

_"This is not your destiny my apprentice, you belong elsewhere."_

_"Master I don't understand what you mean."_

_"You need to trust me."_

Carbon-Freezing - she remembered now, her Master had wanted to save her and he'd given her... she scrambled to look for the Lightsaber hilt that should have hung at her waist, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw it on the small table beside her.

The harsh sound of someone clearing their throat brought her out of her memories and back to the bed she was sat on.

"Who are you?" She asked, clearly sceptical - by now she thought she recognised every important face in the Empire, but the well-groomed ginger man stood before her was new.

"My name is General Hux, of the First Order."

"The First Order?" She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "I've never heard of it, but the Empire does not answer well to opposition. When they-"

"The Empire is no more." A mechanical voice interrupted, a dark presence befalling the room as it did. She then saw the second figure push his way into her view, he wore a mask and was draped in dark clothing. She didn't fail to spot the Lightsaber that was attached to his belt. When he spoke there was a clear shift in attitude from the apparent 'General' his posture stiffened even more - if such a thing was possible.

She narrowed her eyes at the man, taking this time to get a read on him, but to her horror, she couldn't feel... anything. The Force which usually coursed through her veins now seemed to be absent, leaving an emptiness behind.

"What do you mean _no more_?" She was sceptical, every fibre in her body was willing her not to believe what she was hearing from these two strangers.

"I mean _destroyed._ " He replied, almost as a low snarl. Without the presence of the Force, she couldn't tell if he was trying to threaten her, or if he felt threatened by her presence - but considering how nauseous she felt she could only assume it showed on her face, she couldn't have looked like a threat. In which case, she assumed it was the first option.

"Why would I believe some, I don't what you are... Rebels?" She hissed defensively, noticing how the masked man's hands balled themselves into fists.

"Don't you _dare_ -" He took a step forward as he threatened her, a bony hand quickly snapping to move in front of the huge man.

"Perhaps you should take a breather, Ren." With a very pointed glare, the ginger motioned for the masked man... _Ren_ , to leave.

The pair engaged in what could only be described as a staring competition, the tension in the room was certainly building - but she didn't have time for these petty men.

"Will one of you get a grip and tell me what I'm doing here?" She demanded, instantly causing her to feel lightheaded and fall back a bit into the bed she was still sat on.

"Leave, Ren." General Hux warned him again, and this time he finally got the message and stormed out of the Med Bay room, cursing the General under his breath.

Silence befell the pair as they looked at one another, confusion and mistrust plastered over one face and a stoic grimace on the other. Slowly, Hux approached the end of the woman's bed, he knew Ren shouldn't have been trusted with such a delicate issue. But then again, he barely knew how to handle this issue himself - it was time to improvise.

"May I?" He gestured, asking if he could perch at near her feet.

She slowly nodded, not for a second did she appear to relax and Hux was forced to take a deep breath. "This isn't easy to explain..." He began, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Then I suggest you start at the beginning." She didn't falter for a second, she couldn't afford to let her guard down until she knew what was going on.

"The Empire fell, you were found by our recon team in the wreckage of the Death Star - preserved in Carbonite. Although I'm sure you were aware of that part."

The churning in her stomach was beginning to increase, "What happened to my Master? To... everyone? Am I all that's left?" Questions began pouring out of her mouth, and these were just the tip of the iceberg.

"I-um, you _are_ the only one left I'm afraid. The Empire fell over 30 years ago." His words slightly trailed off towards the end, as if he were scared to admit the fact, as he saw the woman's face lose even more of its colour. "The First Order rose from the ashes of the Empire."

Her pulse was racing, and the words she wanted to speak could barely form in her mouth. 

_Thirty years..._

That kept replaying over and over in her head, and suddenly the carbon-sickness was overwhelming her, and she had no choice but to lunge for the bin that was near her bed, unloading the contents of her stomach into it.

The General watched with mild disgust - the man acted like he hadn't seen a spec of dirt in his life. He did, however, patiently wait for her to sit back up and take a long gulp of water - she still looked under the weather, how could she not given the situation?

They sat in silence for a minute, Hux didn't know what else to do other than give the woman time to begin comprehending that she was essentially in the future by her standards.

"Thirty years..." She was mourning, panicking and containing her rage all at once.

"I'm sorry to put you through this." The General began, and part of her thought that he actually meant it. He seemed like a very practical man, but he did show signs of compassion. "But you may have a place here at the First Order yet."

Something told her she didn't have much of a choice in that matter. She remained silent, and Hux took this as his prompt to continue talking.

"How much do you remember? Do you know why you were placed in suspended animation?"

She contemplated this question for a moment, how much should she give away? Clearly this General thought she would be useful for their cause, and if she turned out to not be of use? If the First Order really had risen from the Empire's ashes, she would have to assume that certain policies would remain the same. Should she not be of use, she would find herself dead.

"I remember everything, but I don't know why I was the one to be saved." She admitted, honestly.

"And your position in the Empire, it was significant I'm assuming." This was what he really wanted to know, it was obvious. But she knew there was no point in lying, why would the Empire preserve the life of a minor member of their staff.

"High Command." She stated, still keeping some cards to her chest. This wasn't an easy situation to read or navigate, especially without the force to help guide her.

"And your name?" Hux finally thought to ask, hoping that perhaps he would recognise her name or even just the title so he knew what rank she was. Little did he know...

She held his gaze, finally steadying her breathing. She remembered her training: _manipulate the situations you find yourself in to act in your favour._ Admittedly this was an unbelievable situation to find herself in, but she knew she had to assert her power - the First Order was not about to take advantage of her.

"Darth Andal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Reader is having a ROUGH day.
> 
> I've made a Tumblr for this fic, so if you have any questions or anything shoot them to me on renfics.tumblr.com! Also might open requests over there soon.
> 
> Chapters will be getting longer after this one as well!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Darth Andal has recovered from carbon-sickness, General Hux shows her around Starkiller Base and attempts to find out more about where she came from.
> 
> Later, she attempts to reconnect herself to the Force but runs into a mysterious complication.

She had been awake for two rotations now, and only the General had seen her in this time. The moment she had told him her name his face had instantly dropped - the First Order must have known she was of some importance, but they weren't anticipating gaining another force user.

Andal had been given temporary living quarters. When she had first arrived she had never been so grateful to see a refresher, she had been dying to wash the carbonite residue out of her messy, tangled hair. She was also told before she left the Med Bay that nausea was a side effect of Carbon-Freezing, but it passed rather quickly, not before she spent a good hour throwing up the contents of her already-empty stomach.

She gazed at her reflection, finally recognising the woman who stared back; the colour had returned to her skin, her eye-bags had all but disappeared, her hair was once again silky and smooth, falling in loose waves, and her clothes had finally returned from being cleaned. Those First Order branded clothes weren't going to cut it for her just yet.

The only thing missing was the Force - perhaps another side effect of Carbon-Freezing, but hopefully not a permanent one. She just needed time to meditate and reconnect herself, or at least that's what Andal would tell herself every time the thought plagued her mind.

A heavy knock upon the blast door to her quarters caught her attention. Securing her belt, still boasting the Empire's emblem, she made her way to greet her visitor, unsurprised to see General Hux standing before her.

Hux looked at the woman up and down, he instantly noted the improvement in her appearance and demeanour, "I see your recovery is going well." His gaze rested on the Empire symbol she wore briefly before he tore his attention away.

"As well as can be expected." She gave a curt nod. The pair of them had daily interactions like these, but on the previous visits, Hux was greeted by a woman still plagued by fatigue and carbon-sickness. He seemed somewhat impressed by what he saw today.

"If you're feeling better, might I offer you a tour around Starkiller Base today?" A small, slightly forced, smile crossed his thin lips. Andal could see right through it, he wanted to show her around to begin integrating her into the Order.

"Only if you promise to show me the training facility." She raised an eyebrow, only half-joking.

"I don't see why not." Hux stepped aside to allow her to exit, but before she did she turned to grab the Lightsaber hilt and clipped it to her belt. She had no intention of using it but it didn't hurt to show some power.

The General slowly walked Andal around all the key areas of Starkiller Base, and she quickly picked up on a few key things:

1) It was _huge,_ practically dwarfed the Death Star.

2) Hux was well respected around the base, it wouldn't hurt to keep him as an ally. Many people greeted him as the pair of them walked by all whilst giving Andal suspicious glances.

3) Starkiller was _freezing_. Hux had cooly suggested that she perhaps clad herself in the clothes supplied to her rather than her current attire, but this is what she had always worn and she wasn't going to change now cold or not. This was one of her few remaining links to the Empire - she sought a sense of comfort and familiarity in it.

This defensive nature came naturally to her, years of training and mistrust had instilled it deep within her and now she was in an environment where she didn't know anybody. There was nobody she could trust anymore.

It took over an hour to see all the key areas of the base, committing them to memory wasn't as easy - that would take a while. She knew the key areas: the Mess Hall to eat daily meals, and Commissary where she could pick up basic supplies, but Hux had explained that the latter was mostly for Stormtrooper use, those higher up were able to use Holopads in their rooms to request whatever they needed. Most importantly, however, he had shown her the Training Room and Andal couldn't hide how impressed she was.

There was everything imaginable, sparring areas, fitness equipment, battle simulators. It was the most extensive facility she ever remembered seeing. She knew she would be putting it to good use as soon as possible. Seeing her expression Hux took it as an invite to fire more questions at her, hoping that she wouldn't continue to shoot them down.

"Did you used to train often?" He asked, casually. Andal had to appreciate his efforts, she was slowly releasing information about her time with the Empire, but until she had a chance to reconnect herself with the Force she didn't want to give too much away.

"Every day." She muttered, watching the numerous Stormtrooper groups complete basic training exercises together.

"Who did you used to train with?" He pried, raising a curious eyebrow.

Andal could have kicked herself for mentioning her Master whilst in a nauseous haze a few rotations back - Hux had not let that one go quickly, he wanted to know who had trained her.

"Give me some time to train, and maybe I'll tell you." E/C eyes were still scanning around the room, but she finally turned to the General with a coy smirk on her face.

He heaved a sigh, "Very well, but just know that my patience will eventually wear thin - I would rather not pass this responsibility over to our Commander."

"Don't threaten me, General. I appreciate your hospitality, and given time I may be willing to help the First Order - but I've just lost thirty years of my life, and everything I know. I'd be grateful for a period of grace to give me time to get my bearings... and to mourn." She mumbled the final comment, not wanting to show it as a weakness. She had never needed the Force to be charming, her charisma had gotten her out of plenty of scraps in the past - her Master had always described her as a natural diplomat.

"My apologies Darth Andal, this can't be an easy time for you."

She was relieved that he had backed down so easily. Her main priority was reconnecting herself to the Force, then she could finally begin to work out is this First Order was trustworthy or not.

Silence filled the air for a few moments before their attention was pulled to the blast doors, through which a dark figure began to storm across the room. Andal recognised the masked man from the Med Bay, thankfully now she was in a much better position to face up to him. She pushed her hair away from her face as she honed in on the Lightsaber hilt that hung from his belt - it looked slightly messy, as though it would fall apart at any moment, and then there were the two vents protruding from either side, she'd never seen anything like that before.

The ominous mask snapped to face her, and on instinct, her hand went to rest upon the hilt that hung from her own waist. General Hux sensed the tension building in the air, so placed a hand on Andal's shoulder, "May I show you back to your quarters?" It clearly wasn't a question, so she exhaled a breath and broke away from her staring match with Ren.

The General was quick to rush her out of the room after that, cursing the other man quietly under his breath. As they walked back towards Andal's temporary quarters, she had decided it was her turn to ask the questions.

"Who is he?" She didn't appear threatened, more just curious.

"Kylo Ren." Hux practically spat the name, "Commander of the First Order."

"He has a Lightsaber." She aptly pointed out, knowing that there was more to him than that.

"Ren is the apprentice of our Supreme Leader, apparently very gifted in the force." The ginger man snorted, rolling his eyes. Clearly speaking the Commander's name was like acid on his tongue.

"You don't seem like a fan." Andal pointed out.

"Might I suggest you stay out of his way?" Was all Hux huffed in reply as they reached the blast door to her quarters. "Have a good evening, Darth Andal."

"You too, General, thank you for the tour." She politely nodded, before disappearing inside.

Once she arrived in her small studio room, she quickly stripped herself of her tighter trousers and exchanged them for black slacks - comfort was key when nobody else was around. She also adjusted the thermostat in her room to make it warmer, just because the rest of the base was freezing, didn't mean her room had to be as well.

Moving the coffee table from the centre of her room, she sat cross-legged in its place, closing her eyes as she slowly exhaled.

Little did she know that on the other side of the base Kylo Ren was doing the same, preparing to meditate.

She kept her breathing steady and reached out to the Force, feeling a flicker of something at the end of the metaphorical tunnel she was journeying down.

_A flicker he could feel it. There was something reaching out to him._

She searched for her Master, the man who had guided her through everything, and now she needed him more than ever. She increased her focus, slowly feeling the power-

_Growing, whatever was reaching out was getting stronger._

There was an energy similar to her Master's, but not the same. She was hesitant to seek it out, not when her connection to the force felt so strained.

_It was withdrawing, whatever this energy was - it wasn't stable, shaky almost. He had to know what it was, so he-_

Followed, whatever flicker she had sensed was now following her back to her sanctuary, her veins were beginning to light up as the Force flowed through her.

_Raw power, tension was building as he sensed another presence in the force so nearby he could almost just reach out and-_

Touch her, she didn't recognise this presence but it engulfed her - the ghost of a hand on her shoulder startled her slightly but when a pair of dark brown eyes snapped open so vividly in her mind. She-

_Jolted back into reality with a strangled gasp, as he saw piercing E/C eyes staring at him through the force. He sat back, leaning on his hands as he calmed his pulse, whatever he had just felt was a surge of sheer-_

Power. Flooding back through her body as if her blood was lava, whatever she had just seen had reconnected her to force, but not only that she felt more-

_Powerful than ever. Something was surging through his body, he had never felt such a strong connection to the Force within himself._

Darth Andal was drained. She could feel the Force stronger than ever but whatever she had just seen had caused physical and mental exhaustion to overtake her body. 

In the Training Facility, Kylo Ren was overcome with the same fatigue, barely making it to his quarters before passing out.

Before sleep claimed her for the night, the young woman spared a thought for her Master - she still didn't know what had happened to him, but perhaps now the Force could show her. What had become of her mentor and the closest person she had to family?

If only she knew that what remained of him was on a pedestal in Kylo Ren's quarters.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> General Hux finds about more about Darth Andal, and it's safe to say he's shocked.
> 
> A heated confrontation with Kylo Ren leads her to the Training Facility to let off steam, the only problem is he had the same idea...

High Command was a busy place, but the low chatter and sense of urgency that constantly filled the room finally put Andal in a position she recognised well. Not everything had changed since the Empire ruled.

She stood beside General Hux, looking out at the vast snowy landscape. She had finally been able to use the force to read the ginger man, but she didn't find out much that she hadn't already figured out. However, she did discover that he following orders from someone above him, an all-powerful leader - chills ran down her spine as she thought back to Palpatine. Clearly, someone was pulling strings, but she would worry about that when she met him. Aside from that, there was nothing particularly suspicious or threatening about Hux, so now was as good a time as any to share some truths with him.

" _Darth Vader?_ " Hux spat in disbelief, his jaw practically on the floor.

Andal gave a slow nod, giving the news a moment to settle in before she continued, "He trained me, taught me everything I know and the last thing I remember is being in the Carbon-Freezing chamber with him."

Despite the shocking revelation the General had just discovered, she noticed a strange feeling rising within him - he was anxious, stressed even, but not about Andal about someone else. Perhaps this news was going to have a knock-on effect somewhere else on the base.

"How well trained are you?" He asked, clearly putting deep thought into his questions now before asking them.

"That's for you to evaluate." She gave a nonchalant shrug, she was prepared to undersell herself in order to keep herself away from whoever was leading the First Order for the time being - at least until she had a chance to refresh her physical skills.

Hux pursed his lips, pondering how to respond, "And how familiar were you with the Empire's High Command? Battle strategies, internal workings etcetera." He waved his wrist around as he spoke the final words.

"I spent a majority of my time shadowing Master Vader, I've picked up plenty over the years." She folded her arms across her chest.

"Very well." Hux pinched the bridge of his nose, it seemed as though this information had inconvenienced him, almost as if he was hoping that Darth Andal turned out to be nobody of significance.

Before she could open her mouth to respond, a blanket of silence swept across the Command Centre. She could feel the fear and anxiety in the room rising as the unmistakeable figure of Kylo Ren swept across the room, heading straight towards the pair of them. It seemed as though he terrified people, but he would never intimidate her, she had been taught better than that.

"The Supreme Leader demands your presence." The mechanical voice stated, not sparing a glance at the woman beside him.

"Very well." Hux sighed, awkwardly looking between the two parties left stood by the viewpoint, not entirely sure what to do with either of them, "Perhaps... the pair of you should get acquainted." He was clearly uneasy at his own suggestion, but it was going to have to happen sooner or later.

Andal could feel the gaze from beneath the mask pointing in her direction, but she kept her eyes trained on the General.

"Play nice." He hissed at Ren as he straightened his posture and swiftly made his way to the blast door, hands firmly clasped behind his back as usual.

The pair didn't speak, neither one of them daring to break the ever-building tension. It didn't take the force to sense the aggressive air between them, each looked as though they would ignite their Lightsaber at any moment. 

Kylo hadn't properly looked at the woman since he first saw her in the Med Bay, sickly and dishevelled. Now he saw a completely different sight, she practically exuded authority, then he saw her eyes. Those piercing E/C eyes that he instantly recognised.

"It was you." He thought aloud, "Last night that dip in the force..."

She remained silent, her arms remained folded over her chest as she thought back to the brown eyes she had seen which had sparked the return of her power and even amplified it to an extent. "When I woke up I couldn't feel the force, last night I reconnected myself." She admitted, unsure of what his point was.

Kylo Ren didn't reply to this, just gave a huff from beneath his helmet. Simultaneously, Andal felt a scratching feeling within her brain one that she recognised all too well. It didn't show in Ren's body language, but she could feel him straining to break down her mental defences.

"You ever thought of asking questions rather than searching for answers yourself?" She snapped.

Narrowing her eyes, she began to push back, determined to expel him from her mind. Almost as if they had met in the middle, a backlash hurtled through the force which sent a sharp pain through each of their heads, causing both parties to stumble back a few steps - a few mutters rising from the onlookers.

As the pounding in their heads ceased, each of them snapped their gaze towards the other. "What did you do?" She hissed, grabbing her Saber hilt.

"I didn't _do_ anything." He retaliated, hand darting to the hilt that hung at his own belt. He may have tried to read her mind, but that powerful backlash was something else.

The situation was heated, and Andal knew that getting into a fight with the First Order's Commander, in the Command Centre, in front of numerous employees was probably not going to go in her favour. She didn't know Kylo Ren, how well trained he was, but she was confident she could beat him - equally however she knew his life was more important than her's on Starkiller Base so if somebody was going to take the blame it would be her.

These ideas were all silently weighed up in her head before she eventually relaxed her posture and reattached her Saber to her belt. "Stay away from me, Ren." She warned, before swiftly making her way to the exit - she didn't want to give him another chance to goad her into a standoff. 

Andal had been intending to go straight back to her quarters, but the rage bubbling inside her needed an outlet, so she made a beeline for the training facilities. It wasn't just Kylo Ren she was angry at, despite the fact that he'd tried to read her mind, she was furious at her entire situation. She hadn't asked to be dropped into a world thirty years ahead of what she knew, thrown into an organisation which she knew nothing about, and to have nobody she could trust anymore. She was overwhelmed, a feeling which quickly translated into anger - she hated feeling so helpless and lost.

"Excuse me, Miss, are you lost?" The distorted voice snapped her out of her internal quarrel, only to take in the figure stood before her, clad in silver Stormtrooper armour.

She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from making a bitter comment about how she was completely lost in life, let alone in this one room. "I'm just looking to train." She finally responded.

"Well, you've certainly come to the right place for that..." She paused, prompting her name.

"Andal." She offered the smallest of smiles and a curt nod, thinking it probably best to leave out her title - it tended to push people away pretty quickly.

"Phasma, Captain Phasma." The woman responded, before reaching up to remove her helmet, revealing short wisps of platinum blonde hair, "If you're looking for somewhere to use _that,_ I can show you where to train." She nodded toward the Saber hanging from her belt.

It was refreshing for someone to speak to her normally, not as if she were damaged goods or a walking explosive, "I'd appreciate that." She gave a warmer smile this time.

The taller woman motioned for Andal to follow her, leading her past hordes of off-duty Troopers who were running drills in groups. They eventually came to a set of blast doors, behind which was an empty area in the back corner of the facility, the walls clearly coated in a sturdier material, the floors slightly sprung and padded - built for heavy landings. There was also an extensive weapon rack on the far wall, including what she recognised as training Sabers.

"It's impressive." She commented, running her hand over the reinforced walls; they had clearly already seen some damage judging by the scorch marks on them. She never dreamt of having such an extensive facility to train in.

"It's state of the art. Have you trained much since-" She cut herself off, clearly having said too much.

"Since I woke up from an involuntary thirty-year sleep?" She laughed slightly, "It's okay, I know how quickly word can spread around these bases." She also knew that parading around with a Galactic Empire belt wasn't exactly keeping a low profile.

"Sorry, I didn't want to pry." Phasma moved to stand behind Andal, giving her the space to train, "I'll leave you to it."

Before Phasma could leave, Andal called back "You're not prying. It's actually nice to finally talk to someone who doesn't seem to have an ulterior motive." She cast her mind to both Hux and Ren at this comment.

A smile tugged at the corners of Phasma's lips before she replaced the silver helmet on her head, and took her leave.

She made her way to the middle of the floor and detached the Saber hilt from her belt. The crystal was calling to her, she could feel it, but that didn't stop her from feeling like a fraud for wielding her Master's Lightsaber. Inhaling a deep breath and closing her eyes, she reached out to the crystal within, her mind casting back to the final moments she spent with Vader.

_"You need to trust me." Having prepared the settings on the Freezing Chamber, Vader walked to face his apprentice for what he knew was the final time._

_"But I don't-" She had tried to question him again, but was interrupted by him removing the Lightsaber from her waist and replacing it with his own._

_"You will find your purpose, trust in the Force to guide you. Goodbye, young Apprentice."_

Trust in the Force.

Vader had wanted her to have his Saber, everything he did was for a purpose - she just didn't know what it was yet. As she opened her eyes, she looked at the sleek black and silver hilt, her hand tightening its grip, if this was to be her last connection to her Master then she would put it to good use.

Finally, the Saber roared to life, the familiar red blade casting a glow over Andal's face. It felt so natural to be holding a weapon again - she used to train every day with Vader and now holding his Lightsaber she finally was able to regain a sense of normality in her life.

She centred her mind and began running her drill pattern: strike, strike, block, strike. She'd occasionally spin the Saber with a flick of her wrist to get a better feel for the weight and balance of it - her's had been a bit lighter and easier to swing around than her Master's.

Although anger was a powerful weapon to use to her advantage, she had been taught the importance of picking the right times to unleash it. Bottling up her emotions had become second nature, Vader had instilled in her that rage is useless if it is not focused and used to enhance skills that are already there. Anger only means power when married to training and precision.

Andal repeated the mantras in her head as she continued to strike invisible targets, with incredible force behind her swings. She was relieved that Carbon Freezing had preserved her body's fitness level, she seemed sharper than ever and moved so fluidly through her strikes.

With one final spin of her blade, she stopped, panting slightly from the vigorous movements. Relaxing her stance, she was about to extinguish the blade when she felt that dark, imposing presence wash over her through the Force. Kylo Ren was nearby.

It would have been a blessing to have gone the rest of the day without seeing the Commander. After he had tried to read her mind earlier that day she was still bitter towards him, not to mention that surge of power between them - that wasn't something she wasn't in a hurry to visit again.

Kylo could feel Darth Andal's energy the second he entered the Training Facility. It was an electric buzzing through the Force, same as he had felt earlier in the Command Centre. He had tried to read her mind and failed, but he wanted to _know._ She had told him she reconnected herself to the Force, but how did he see her when he was meditating, and more importantly than anything else; why did he feel threatened by her?

"Commander. I was just leaving." She addressed him, still neglecting to deactivate her Lightsaber.

"Good. My Knights are on their way for training." He shed his cowl and walked onto the training floor, his actions making it seem as though he was completely disregarding her, but that certainly wasn't the case.

Just as Andal was about to quietly take her leave to avoid any further conflict today, she felt that scratching in her head again. Did Kylo Ren really not learn his lesson? Just because he was acting preoccupied didn't mean she was going to let her guard down so easily.

With one swift movement, Andal had spun around and stretched out her arm, locking the force around Kylo Ren's neck. "I told you to stay _away_ from me." She snarled, watching him begin to crumble from the pressure cutting off his airwaves.

As Ren collapsed to one knee, a mighty roar rose from behind the helmet as he pushed back out of pure rage, sending Andal flying back into the metal-coated wall and hitting the ground.

She manoeuvred herself onto all fours before rising back to her feet, ignoring the pain shooting through her back. Without thinking twice she ignited her Saber, seeing Ren mimic her actions. The pair lunged for one another at the same time, blades meeting in the middle causing an explosion of sparks.

"You think you can overpower me?" Ren's mechanical voice hissed, "I've killed men for less." At this he pushed harder with his Saber, causing Andal to buckle slightly.

"You're not the only one who people fear, Ren. You know _nothing_ about me, you have no idea what I'm capable of." She violently thrust her Saber upwards, disrupting the duel they were locked in with enough power to send Kylo stumbling back a few steps.

Before he could retaliate again, six masked figures marched through the blast doors and looked to where the force-users stood, Sabers still ablaze. It seemed as though this fight would be short-lived since what looked like Ren's boyband was here to save him.

Knowing the right time to dip out, Andal deactivated her Saber and began to walk away. She knew Kylo wouldn't risk making a scene and picking a fight he wasn't certain he could win with people watching - safer to call it a stalemate on this occasion.

"Count yourself lucky." She snapped at him as she pushed past the Knights and stormed towards the exit, hearing another yell from behind Ren's helmet as he viciously slashed at the metal walls with his Saber.

She marched back to her quarters, blood boiling - how dare he try to read her mind not once, but twice. Considering the outcome of the first two encounters she dreaded to think how a third incident might end. Perhaps Kylo Ren had the right idea taking his anger out on the walls, she could really use something to hit right now.

"At least this day can't get any worse." She grumbled to herself, but lo and behold, as she approached her temporary quarters there was General Hux stood outside waiting for her.

"Darth Andal, I've been looking for you." He gave a small nod.

"Well, you've found me." She sighed, "What can I do for you General?"

"The Supreme Leader wishes to meet you."

Turns out things could get worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stan Reader putting Kylo in his place tbh... anyone else?


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darth Andal finally meets the infamous Supreme Leader of the First Order, and he delivers some unexpected orders which put Kylo Ren in a worse mood than usual.

Her palms were sweating as she followed General Hux through an area of Starkiller he hadn't yet shown her. He'd allowed her an evening's rest before collecting her bright and early the next morning to meet with the Supreme Leader. Knowing how unpredictable and conniving Emperor Palpatine could be at times, she hardly knew what to expect from whoever ran this operation. Would he be more ruthless? Was it even possible to be more ruthless than Darth Sidious?

Darth Andal knew she had to win the favour of this mysterious leader, she had never succeeded with Palpatine but that was difficult to rectify when she never knew why he harboured such resentment towards her. But this was a fresh start.

"A word of advice:" Hux stopped at the blast door, turning to her, "Don't lie to him. He'll know." With that, he led her inside the dark room.

She remained silent, trying to calm and centre her mind so she didn't give away how nervous she was. Once they stopped in the seemingly empty room, a shiver ran up Andal's spine - she thought she felt a dark presence, but it was strangely far away.

That or she was just fucking freezing... or both.

Suddenly a harsh blue light emitted through the room, revealing a huge hologram of whom she could only assume was the Supreme Leader. Hux immediately took to one knee to pay his respects, giving her a warning look to do the same, which she begrudgingly did.

"General Hux." The hologram addressed him, at which point he stood up.

"Supreme Leader Snoke."

"And this must be the young woman I've been hearing so much about." His voice was somehow a mixture of raspy and smooth, and he spoke slowly as if calculating every word before he said it.

Rising to her feet, this was the first proper look at him she got. He had a horribly disfigured and scarred face, once again reminding her of Palpatine. The way he spoke to her was condescending, but he was clearly trying to flex his power.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Supreme Leader." She bowed her head briefly and held her posture straight with her hands clasped behind her back.

"I trust you're settling in well?" He definitely didn't care if she was or not. He was delaying the subject of what he really wanted from her.

"As well as can be expected, given the circumstances." She replied. She'd be lying if she said she was waking up feeling anything other than longing - longing for the life she had lost.

"Yes, I'm sure this... adjustment can't be easy for you. But The First Order could use someone from your background." Whether that was a reference to her force-sensitivity, training with Vader or knowledge of the Empire she was unsure. How much had Hux told him?

"I'm managing." She kept her deadpan expression and added, "What is it you want from me, Supreme Leader?"

Hux shot her a glance, as if telling her that she should be terrified for being so forward with their almighty leader.

A slow, cunning laugh came from the hologram as he leaned forward in his chair, "I think the real question is: what can _you_ offer me _?_ "

Andal's eyes narrowed, she was expected to prove her worth to an organisation she had no stake in, no care for. But she was the one who was saved from the fall of the Empire, and she was determined to find this 'destiny' her Master told her about - she'd be dammed if she wasted it all and wound up dead. 

"Lord Vader himself saved me, he knew that I had a purpose beyond my time. Perhaps this isn't it, but equally, perhaps it is. I'm trained in the Force and was a natural diplomat for the Empire, I'm worth more than target practise for your Troopers." She was confident in every word she spoke because she knew they were true. There was no way the First Order would have gone to the lengths it did to save her had they simply intended to kill her.

"Good." Snoke dragged out the syllables of the word as his scarred lips curved up into a sickening smile, turning to General Hux, "Summon Kylo Ren, immediately." He ordered, the General quickly scurrying off to do as he was told.

Now left alone with the hologram, silence fell in the room - it was clear that Snoke was calculating his next words carefully, so she patiently waited.

"What of your life before the Empire?" He pondered, but something felt uneasy as if he was testing her, as if he knew what he wanted her to say.

"I have no memories of my time before Master Vader made me his apprentice. He said I was strong with the Force, so he took me in." This question always struck a nerve with her, she'd spent years conditioning herself to ignore the fact that she couldn't remember the majority of her life.

"And you never sought out these memories?" Snoke folded his hands over his lap, prying deeper. It was definitely a test.

"As far as I'm concerned my life began with the Empire. I have no interest in the woman I was before." That certainly wasn't the truth, and it was obvious that Snoke knew it.

With a flick of his wrist, Andal was suspended in the air, the Force constricting around her neck. She'd learnt long ago from ordeals with Palpatine that it was best not to struggle.

"Do _not_ lie to me. I see it all, young Andal - I see your burning rage, so angry that you'll never know who you truly are. Then that fear, if you regained your memories you're afraid of who you might find. Lord Vader was right, you _are_ strong with the Force, but that does not make you indispensable." He dropped her to the ground after making his point, and she quickly collected herself, inhaling some deep breaths as she clambered back to her feet.

"It won't happen again, Supreme Leader." She bowed her head, conceding. She may not have been loyal to the First Order, but right now she had to adapt to survive and Snoke knew that, so he exploited it.

At that very moment the blast doors flew open, and that now hauntingly familiar presence of Kylo Ren washed over her through the Force. She was relieved that he hadn't walked in to see her surrendering to Snoke, he would have most definitely used that against her.

"Ah, Kylo Ren, my young apprentice, I assume you have met Darth Andal." Snoke addressed Ren as he took to one knee, rising when motioned to do so.

He was Snoke's apprentice, that made sense. But now the question remained of where did she fit into the puzzle?

"I have." He gave a stoic response, and Andal had to bite back a scoff as she remembered their last meeting, which ended badly, to say the least.

"Then I'm sure you are aware that she was apprentice to Lord Vader himself, she even wields his Lightsaber." Something about Snoke's tone was off, almost as if he were taunting Ren. But the news clearly had him stunned, even with the mask on it was obvious. His body stiffened completely, hands balling in and out of fists repeatedly - Andal couldn't help but find it funny that he may have found that out for himself had he asked her questions rather than attempt to breach her mind.

" _No,_ I wasn't aware." He finally admitted. It sounded as though he were speaking through gritted teeth.

Anger and jealousy were washing off Kylo Ren in waves, subsequently hitting Andal through the Force. She wondered why he took that news so hard, it wasn't like she wanted to take his place as Snoke's apprentice.

"Darth Andal will be attending training with you and your Knights of Ren, effective immediately," Snoke concluded, seeming rather pleased with himself.

"With all due respect, Supreme Leader, I think there are better uses of my skills rather than being a Knight of Ren." She was putting it lightly, she wasn't about to become one of Kylo Ren's lackeys, it was an insult.

"You mistake me, my dear. Your purpose is not to train withthe Knights, it is to further the training of their Master." Snoke gave a very pointed look at Kylo Ren, whose hands were once again balling into fists.

Part of her wanted to burst out laughing on the spot, she _wished_ she could have seen Ren's face when Snoke dropped that bomb. Perhaps the First Order wasn't going to be so bad after all.

"Supreme Leader I-" The mechanical voice piped up but was quickly interrupted.

"This is not up for discussion, Commander." He snapped, before turning to Andal, "General Hux will be integrating you into High Command in time."

"Supreme Leader you can't-" Kylo once again tried to interject but this time he was met with a harsher response. Lightning shot from the giant hologram's hand, striking his huge frame to the ground.

When she saw the lightning Andal had flinched just on instinct, but when it hit Kylo Ren rather than her she almost felt sorry for him - she knew how painful that was, but equally she wasn't about to rush over and help him up.

"You _dare_ question my orders, boy?" Snoke bellowed, as Ren slowly stumbled back to his feet.

It was clear that he was considering arguing further, but it was a pointless battle, "No, Supreme Leader, I will fulfil your orders."

"Do not disappoint me, Apprentice." With that final word, the hologram of Snoke vanished, plunging the room into darkness, each of their figures only illuminated by the light coming from the now-open blast door.

Neither of them moved at first, they just turned to stare at one another. She couldn't see Ren's eyes behind that infernal mask but she could feel his gaze burning a hole in her face. The mask confused her, she was certain he didn't need it to assist with breathing as there was no ventilation sounds coming from the helmet as there had been with Vader. Why did he wear it? To seem more intimidating? How sad.

"It's none of your business." Ren suddenly snapped, jolting her away from her thoughts.

Andal was confused, she hadn't felt him trying to read her mind, there was no way he could have managed without her knowing, "How did you do that?" She slowly asked, narrowing her eyes.

"You're projecting your thoughts."

"No, I'm not."

" _Yes,_ you are." Ren hissed.

"Do you really think I wouldn't know if I was projecting to you?" She clapped back, beginning to walk towards the open blast door.

He scoffed, following behind her, "How should I know what you're capable of? For all I know you're a fraud."

As they made it back into the well-lit corridor the two Storm Troopers on guard gave a respectful nod to the pair of them. However, just as quickly as Kylo Ren had opened his mouth, Andal's Lightsaber was at his throat, her blood boiling. "Don't test me, Ren. I saw how you reacted when Snoke told you of my connection to Master Vader, I could _feel_ your envy. Those fear tactics won't work on me."

The two guards scurried off, practically stumbling over one another. They knew better than to get caught up in an altercation between two Force users. 

"You know _nothing_ of Darth Vader." He roared, powerfully pushing her back into the wall using the Force, his own Saber crackling to life.

Andal recovered quickly, raising her blade to an attack position. Here they were again, ready to kill one another.

"Who are you to tell me what I do and do not know?" She struck his blade, "What gives you the authority to talk about a man you never knew?" Another strike, "And never _will_ know." She was yelling at him now as she struck for a final time, Ren dodging and causing her to put a blazing gash into the wall.

Now in the defensive position, he came at her with a flurry of strikes, "I know more than you think-" He swung for her head, but she parried his strike, causing his blade to hit the wall, leaving another crackling cut behind, "You think because you were part of a _failed_ Empire, you have power here?" At this point, he went for a low swing, and Andal was able to kick his Saber hilt from his hand, sending it flying across the floor, but this didn't stop Kylo.

He hurled his entire bodyweight at her to back her against the wall, he used the force to pin the hand holding her Saber to the wall and pressed his forearm to her neck, "You _don't_ have power here. I will follow the Supreme Leader's orders, but you aren't _anything_ to me." In a low voice, he hissed as she struggled against him - he was damn heavy against her much smaller frame.

With the hand that wasn't constricted by the Force, Andal summoned Ren's Saber to her grip, igniting it and bringing it up to his neck, at which point he instantly backed off and released her other hand, "You don't scare me, Ren."

"You-" He began to retaliate, but was interrupted.

"ENOUGH!" The unmistakable voice of General Hux bellowed. Andal turned to look at him, and had this been under different circumstances she may have laughed - he was practically seething, his face red with rage.

She deactivated both Sabers and clipped hers to her belt before throwing Ren's back at him with absolutely no grace. It hit his chest before he caught it, and he relaxed his posture as they both stood staring at Hux, the electrics in the walls still sparking and crackling around them - it truly was a sight to behold.

"I didn't think the two of you would get along, but I had _hoped_ you could at least be civil." At this point, he shot a harsh glare towards Kylo as if instantly blaming him for instigating the fight - and in Andal's opinion he had been the one who started it...

"I do not tolerate insolence, General." He snarled, giving her a pointed look.

"And I do not tolerate pathetic jealousy and intimidation tactics." She snapped back, taking a step closer to him.

"You think that was intimidation? Let me show you intimidation." He snarled, taking a step to meet her in the middle.

Practically chest to chest, they just stared each other down - daring the other to move first.

Hux pinched the bridge of his nose, he already had one Force-user who tore the base apart, now he had two? "Ren, don't you have something better to do?" He sighed, walking between the pair of them.

Kylo simply huffed from under the helmet and stormed off, probably to destroy another part of Starkiller to let his frustration out.

"I did warn you to stay away from him." The General raised an eyebrow and Andal rolled her eyes, she really didn't need his 'I told you so' song and dance right now. Realising that his comment had sunk like a stone in water, he cleared his throat and began walking towards the more populated areas of the base with her.

"His connection to Master Vader, what is it?" Andal had to ask - she knew there was so much more going on that she wasn't aware of, she was only just scratching the surface of the First Order. Kylo Ren made it clear that he had an affinity with Darth Vader but it was impossible to work out what it stemmed from.

"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say." He stopped as they reached the Command Centre blast doors, "I have an urgent meeting to attend to, but when you return to your quarters you'll find an updated schedule on your Holopad." Hux gave a small nod to serve as a goodbye, then disappeared behind the metal doors, leaving Andal alone with her thoughts.

Despite not being able to tell her any details, Hux's response had at least confirmed that there was some kind of connection between Kylo Ren and her former Master. Meanwhile, thousands of other questions were flying around in her head - being forced to join the First order certainly did require a long adjustment period...

As she walked back to her quarters to see what this new schedule consisted of one question plagued her mind more than any other:

How the fuck was she supposed to train alongside Kylo Ren without them killing one another?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't try to write these fight scenes with sexual tension but when I read them I'm like 'wow the sexual tension is killing me'
> 
> Am I alone here?


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two weeks into training alongside Kylo Ren and things are only getting worse. Their violent arguments have become infamous around the base, but during a meditation session things start to get complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW : vague description of a panic attack.

"Bad day?" Captain Phasma asked as she sat down opposite Andal in the Mess Hall.

It had been two weeks since the Supreme Leader had ordered her to attend training with the Knights of Ren and their Master. She couldn't say it was the highlight of her day by a long shot, but she had found that the Knights were far more tolerable than Kylo. In the meantime it had become a daily tradition for her and Phasma to eat their afternoon and evening meals together - they both needed someone they could essentially vent to about how annoying all the men on base were.

"You'd look this miserable too if you had to train with Ren all the time." She snorted as Phasma removed her helmet.

"Is it still not getting any better?" She raised an eyebrow, earning a 'did you really just ask me that?' look from Andal.

"This is Kylo Ren we're talking about, he wants me dead, of course it isn't getting any better." She sighed, shovelling food into her mouth.

She would still trade the First Order in for the Empire in a heartbeat but _damn_ the food was so much better here.

"I'm sure you're handling yourself fine." She smirked slightly, having witnessed one of Andal and Ren's now-infamous bust ups a few days ago. Since becoming more comfortable in amongst the Order, it was safe to say that Andal had come out of her shell, finding it much easier to wind Kylo up with endless sarcasm, although the one thing she couldn't get used to was how Kylo Ren could sporadically hear her thoughts, and vice versa. Neither of them enjoyed having the other in their head, and frequently it would lead to even more arguments.

"It could be worse I guess, I could still be a block of Carbonite." She shrugged, "How's the FN Trooper division coming along? Hux was saying something about possibly needing to deploy them soon."

The days in High Command were long, and rather boring - especially when Hux was adamant at keeping the details of things a secret. All she had managed to gather was that the First Order was racing against their version of the Rebellion to get to some map... it all seemed dull, she'd much rather be training.

"Better. Although better isn't saying much considering how long it took them to nail basic drills."

This is generally what mealtimes consisted of, the two women would share their news from the day and then part ways to return to their duties, before reuniting in the evening.

"I'm sure when the time comes they'll do you proud." She reassured the Captain, a warm smile on her face. It was a refreshing to finally have a real friend on Starkiller Base, someone she could confide in, and who would let her vent her hatred for Kylo Ren to them.

Finishing up her food, Phasma pushed her tray aside, "What have you got on for the rest of the working cycle?"

Andal deadpanned and just raised her eyebrows at her friend, that gave it all away...

"Why are you training again?" She responded, knowing that the Knights of Ren had already trained that morning.

She heaved a sigh and rose to her feet, Phasma following as they dumped their trays on their way out, "It's a meditation session, he's making the Knights learn how to focus themselves better and I obviously have to tag along."

With Phasma having replaced her helmet, they walked back towards the training centre together. When they walked through the door the FN division, who were ready for the second round of training with their Captain, scurried to attention when they caught sight of Phasma.

"You run a tight ship." Andal teased as they approached the group of Troopers, "I'd rather be in your training session right now, believe me."

"I'm not sure they would all agree with you." She nodded at her division, and although her face wasn't visible Andal knew she was smirking beneath the helmet.

That familiar presence of Kylo Ren washed over her, and she heaved a sigh as he approached them. Immediately every Trooper waiting to begin their training stiffened, the way they feared their Commander was pathetic in her opinion.

"Captain." He acknowledged Phasma, before turning to Andal, "You're keeping my Knights waiting."

"Last I checked Ren I'm not even late, I was here before you." She huffed, turning to Phasma, "I'll see you later."

"Commander Ren, Darth Andal." The Captain bid her farewell to them both, and many of her squadron looked shocked to see anyone dare address the fearsome Kylo Ren that way.

He firmly grabbed her arm, and yanked her towards his chest to give a threatening whisper in her ear, "Do _not_ undermine me."

There was still a hoard of Troopers watching this exchange, and she'd be damned if she let Ren make her look weak in front of so many people. Snatching her arm away she gave him a hefty push on his chest and casually walked off in the direction of the private training room, "Come along Ren, you don't want to be _late_!" She playfully called out to him.

Without another word he stormed after her, and she could feel his rage... meditation was sure going to be fun.

The Knights were ready and waiting when the pair of them walked through the blast door, all six of them stood patiently waiting for their Master.

"All of you sit down, find your focus. I don't want to hear anything from any of you." Shedding his cowl, Kylo Ren snapped at his Knights and they all were hasty to comply, doing as they were told.

Not taking their eyes off one another, Andal and Kylo sat opposite each other - there was no trust between them. They didn't trust that the other one wouldn't try and stab them the second their eyes closed, therefore they found that not turning their backs to each other was the safest option.

She inhaled a deep breath and finally shut her eyes to focus herself. She could sense the Knights' energy, they were all centred in their own meditation and completely focused.

Across from her, Kylo was also trying to find his focus. He was still seething about the way she had spoken to him in front of those Troopers, and the desire to slash his Lightsaber against the walls to let off steam wasn't helping his concentration.

As Andal delved deeper into the Force, she was transported into a vision - which she expected. Usually she would see flashes of her past, not always pleasant memories. But today was different, she was kneeling before Supreme Leader Snoke, not a hologram but the real man. He was tall, slender, sickly looking and stared down at her as if she were his prey. Perhaps this was her future? It was hard to tell.

"You need to let go of your past, embrace the dark and move on." The voice bellowed, "You hold the potential to be a powerful Sith Lord, it is in your blood."

"I won't disappoint you, Master." The words fell from her mouth before she could stop them, although she then realised it wasn't her voice speaking them.

"Rise as Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, grandson and heir of Darth Vader." Snoke raised his hand.

These weren't her memories, they were Ren's.

 _How am I seeing this?_ She asked herself over and over again, before the real bombshell of the memory washed over her... _Grandson?_

At that moment she felt a burning pain surging through her head, and she saw those deep brown eyes again-

><><><><><><><><><><

Kylo Ren found himself somewhere he didn't recognise. A throne room, not dissimilar to the one Snoke sat in aboard the Supremacy but this was different.

Before him sat Emperor Palpatine and beside him stood... his grandfather, in the flesh. He'd never seen him in visions before, despite how much he willed himself to.

"You are weak." The Emperor hissed, using lightning to strike his form. The pain surged through his body and he fell to one knee. But when he looked down at this body he realised it wasn't him - it was Darth Andal's body. How was he seeing her memories?

"Emperor, the failure of this mission was not the fault of my apprentice. I take responsibility." Kylo watched his grandfather stand up for the woman he despised. He could sense Andal's emotions in this moment, she had felt such respect for her Master and perhaps even saw him as a father figure. Palpatine on the other hand, she feared him.

"She is your responsibility Vader, she is your _weakness._ " Another bolt of lightning struck, and Kylo felt the pain as if he was really there.

He didn't know how or why he was seeing her memories, it hadn't been intentional, and it had never happened before. But the question really plaguing his mind was _why did Palpatine hate her so much?_

The vision was interrupted by an excruciating pain surging through his head, the only thing he could see were E/C eyes he knew he recognised-

><><><><><><><><><><

Both Andal and Ren cried out in pain as they clutched their heads, snapping the Knights out of their own meditations.

"Dismissed." Kylo told them when the pain subsided, not taking his eyes off the woman sat opposite him. The Knights rose to their feet and bowed at their Master before departing.

They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity, before Andal eventually spoke up in a slightly shaky voice, "Take the mask off." Those brown eyes, she saw them before when she reconnected herself to the Force, and now again - she had to confirm her suspicions.

For once there was no argument, no hatred or rage between them. Kylo rose to his feet and she mimicked his actions. Slowly, he reached for the helmet, it hissed as the clasps released and he pulled it off his head, finally allowing her to see the man underneath.

Black wisps of hair fell in front of his face which he was quick to brush away. He certainly didn't look how she had ever imagined... well, she had never really spent time imagining it, she had been too busy hating him. But he was certainly younger than she expected, he didn't look much older than herself, and she couldn't deny that he was attractive.

His face was pale, chiseled and had very defined features, with a few freckles dotted around. Then there were the eyes - that deep brown colour which she knew she recognised. This whole time it had been Kylo Ren who had pushed her reconnection to the Force, whether it was an accident or not.

"Why is the Force connecting us?" He finally spoke - she was finally able to hear his deep and raspy unaltered voice.

"I don't know." She replied quietly, still reeling from the shock of what she had just discovered.

"I've tried to get into your head before and couldn't, I wasn't even trying and I saw your memories." He admitted. She had never spoken to him so calmly, in this moment the desire to kill one another had completely vanished.

"I saw you and Snoke. I didn't-" She paused, unsure on how to approach it, "I didn't know Master Vader is your Grandfather." She finally concluded, and she could sense how uncomfortable he became. Obviously the topic of family wasn't one he enjoyed talking about.

Usually Kylo would have killed someone simply for bringing up the notion of his personal life, but he couldn't deny how raw this moment was, "He is."

"So Luke was your Father?"

Hearing Luke's name caused his hand to ball into fists as he spoke through gritted teeth, "Leia was my Mother."

Andal simply raised an eyebrow and thought to herself _Why would Leia being his mother make any difference?_

Clearly having heard her thoughts he responded, as if it were obvious "They're twins."

" _Twins?_ Are you kidding me?" She took a moment to process this. Having met both Luke and Leia multiple times she couldn't believe they were related - at one point she could have sworn there was something romantic between them... She wondered if Vader ever found out they were twins.

Silence engulfed the room again, this whole exchange was still awkward, both parties were used to arguments, not deep chats. Eventually, Kylo spoke up, "I saw how much you respected him, and how much he cared for you." The words felt like acid on his tongue but he couldn't ignore the truth behind them - Darth Andal had the bond with Vader he could only dream of.

She didn't respond to this, just acknowledged it with a small nod, a feeling of longing rose up in her stomach - she missed Vader more than she realised. They then fell silent again, and this time it was Ren's turn to pry, "Why did the Emperor disapprove of you?" He asked, still neither of them had moved a muscle.

"I never knew. I know Master Vader did, but he would never tell me, he just told me to be strong. Palpatine would find any excuse to blame me for our failures." She admitted, her throat going dry - she had never spoken so openly about this, or let herself think deeply about the cause of it.

"You never wondered about your past?" He asked. Snoke must have told him that she didn't know who she was before the Empire.

This was a subject she didn't want to get into with anyone, least of all Kylo Ren. This exchange was bringing up too many emotions and memories she had tried to bury within herself, she couldn't allow herself to be so vulnerable in front of him.

"I need to go." She mumbled, swiftly moving towards the exit but she was stopped when he lunged to grab her arm, similarly to how he had done so earlier but this time his grip was more gentle and forgiving.

"You can't ignore this." He said, and she finally made eye contact with him.

"I didn't ask for this, for any of it." She replied, barely holding it together. It felt as though he was staring into her soul.

"You've been given a second chance." Ren slowly released the grip on her arm, "Don't waste it." With that cryptic message, she broke away and left the training room.

As she raced back to her quarters so much was running through her mind, but all she knew was that she needed to be alone to gather her thoughts together and processes everything that had happened in such a short space of time.

A few days ago she had been moved into her permanent quarters - they were much bigger than the box room she had been in before, and she was slowly settling in. At that moment she had never been more relieved to see somewhere she could find privacy.

The second the blast door closed behind her she sunk to the ground with her back against it and clutched her head in her hands.

"How has this happened to me?" She whispered to herself over and over. Her heart wouldn't stop pounding. It was her instinct to bottle up her feelings, she had been taught never to show weakness, but now the all the emotions she had been burying and not processing for the past few weeks finally rose to the surface, and she broke down.

Andal couldn't remember ever having such a vulnerable moment in her life, but between finding out Kylo Ren's heritage, seeing inside his head (and vice versa), not giving herself time to properly adjust to her new life and not having a chance to mourn those she had lost? It had overwhelmed her.

After sitting for must have been at least an hour silently sobbing to herself, she finally managed to calm down. Her breathing steadied and she actually felt better in herself having let out her emotions.

Peeling herself off the floor, she dragged herself to her bed. She was exhausted, and it looked like she was skipping her evening meal, Phasma would probably be worried about her. But that wasn't the first thing on her mind as she changed into a loose top and shorts to sleep in and flopped onto the bed.

Reaching out her hand she summoned her Saber hilt using the Force and it flew into her grip. She held it above where she was lay and reached out to the crystal within, "I'm sorry for my weakness Master. You trained me so one day I would no longer need you, but I don't think that day ever came. I need your guidance, _please_ show me what I need to do."

She focused hard on the crystal, but felt nothing back. Reaching this deep into the Force to connect with someone else was not something she had ever done before... perhaps he didn't hear her, or perhaps he had and he just care. But she refused to let herself believe that.

Placing the hilt aside, she rolled over and allowed sleep to claim her.

A few doors down from her, Kylo Ren sat before the scorched helmet belonging to his Grandfather, "I need your guidance. Your apprentice- she- there's some kind of connection between us. I can't explain it, but I feel the Force stronger than ever, and I think it has something to do with her." He waited, but there was no response.

"Please Grandfather, please show me what to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so hard to write honestly but I think it's come out decently!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a High Command mission briefing Kylo Ren asks a favour of Darth Andal, and it truly takes her by surprise.

There was a loud and persistent banging in her head as she woke up, and no matter how much she tried to block it out it wouldn't stop. Could it be someone in the Force reaching out to her?

"I know you're in there, open up."

Nope... it was just Hux ruining her beauty sleep.

Practically rolling out of bed she spared a glance at the clock, it was 5am on base, what could he possibly want at such an ungodly hour?

Andal trudged across her open plan apartment to the door and pressed the release button to see Hux stood in corridor. He looked slightly horrified to see her in slacks with unbrushed hair - he was one of those people who probably never had even a single hair out of place from its usual slicked back style.

"It's 5am, Hux... Unless we're under attack I don't wanna hear it." She grumbled.

"Unfortunately for you, you're going to have to hear it. There's a mission briefing in High Command, I need you to attend." He raised an eyebrow, looking her up and down, "I'll give you a minute to change."

With an awkward smile and nod she shut the doors, and quickly stripped herself of the top and shorts she was wearing to replace with her usual high waisted black trousers and cropped shirt. She glanced at her old belt, wishing she could still wear it, but Hux had given her a First Order one to replace hers a while ago.

"You said mission briefing, does this mean I'm going on the mission?" She called whilst she was changing, loud enough to know that he'd hear her.

"No the team has already been decided. But we need all members of High Command to know the details of the mission." His voice called back from behind the door.

Quickly brushing her teeth in the refresher, she tamed her hair in the mirror and tugged her boots on before hustling back over to the blast door to open it.

"Here I was hoping for a trip out." She joked to Hux with a cheeky grin on her face, motioning for him to step inside whilst she grabbed her Lightsaber from the bedside she had left it on.

"Maybe in the future you could- _Maker_ why is it so hot in here?" He interrupted himself, turning to look at her thermostat which was set almost at maximum.

"It's not hot in here, it's cold out there." She retaliated, clipping her Saber to her waist and walking back to the door.

"You still haven't climatized to the base?" He asked as they left her quarters, the cold air hit her and she shivered slightly.

"The Death Star was surprisingly warm." She shrugged as they headed towards High Command together.

"You could easily have warmer clothes made." Hux pointed out as he so frequently did when he heard her complain about the cold.

"I know, I just haven't gotten round to it!" She huffed - she had been meaning to get herself some robes to wear on top of her uniform, but she'd forget every time she entered her warm and cosy quarters.

"I'm sure you'll adjust to the cold before you manage to get something made." The tiniest hint of a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. To anyone else he was still being dead serious, but Andal knew by now that this was the closest he got a joke.

"You're probably right." She snorted as they entered the High Command bridge, turning to walk towards the conference room.

_Wait._

She heard the unmistakeable voice of Kylo Ren in her head, and heard his footsteps behind her, but after their interaction yesterday she wasn't ready to face him yet. She didn't know what to say, or if the dynamic between them was going to be any different now. 

Andal paused for a beat, but didn't turned around, she followed Hux into the conference room and inhaled a deep breath. All other relevant officers were already present, she spotted Phasma and gave her a small smile.

Ren was only a few steps behind, and all three of them took their seats at the long table - Hux at the head of the table, Andal and Kylo sitting opposite each other. She could feel him staring at her, but she avoided looking back at him.

"Thank you all for being here so early. As I'm sure most of you are aware, Commander Ren is taking a division of Troopers to Pillio to-"

_You're ignoring me._

She tuned out what General Hux was saying and finally turned to look at the masked figure sat across from her. Now she could picture Kylo without the mask... damn that face.

_Well what do you want me to say?_

Everyone around the table was so engrossed in Hux's briefing that nobody noticed that the attention of the two Force-users was elsewhere. The conversation was awkward, a if neither of them knew how to act around each other after their exchange the day before.

_I don't know._

"-the aim is to get to the map location _before_ the Resistance, we will coordinate from here-" Hux's voice briefly caught her attention, he was talking about that damn map again. He was always careful not to give away too many details around her, she had no clue why this map was so significant and frankly she didn't care.

Kylo was still staring at her, but wasn't saying anything in their silent conversation, so she decided to break the ice.

_You're leading the mission?_

_I am. I'll only be gone for one rotation, but I need you to lead my Knights' training session._

She looked at him in disbelief. Not long ago he'd had his Lightsaber at her throat ready to kill her, but now he was trusting her to train his Knights?

_Why? You said yourself that you won't be gone for long, and you barely wanted me training with them in the first place, now you're putting me in charge?_

_I'm only asking you to train them for one session, nothing more. You were trained by Vader, I'm sure you can teach them something useful. Don't for one second assume that this will be a regular occurrence._

Andal rolled her eyes at this response, which caught Hux's attention.

"Am I boring you, Darth Andal?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No General, just got a bit of a headache is all." She shot a look at Ren.

_I'm a headache now?_

_You were always a headache._

She was partially teasing him with this comment, and after that their mental conversation ceased so she could finally try and catch up with what Hux was saying.

"As I was saying... we know the Resistance has sent an operative to Pillio. Our sources don't suggest any imminent threat, but Ren will have five members of the FN division to accompany him."

Realising she had missed a huge chunk of the briefing she remained silent, hoping that he didn't call on her for any input, and thankfully she got lucky. The briefing ended and she still barely knew what the mission was - Ren was taking a team to Pillio to hunt down this infamous map everyone was so worked up about.

Really it had nothing to do with her, she could have stayed in bed. When Hux dismissed them all, everyone rose to their feet and filtered out in order of hierarchy with the General leaving first, swiftly followed by Ren. Andal wasn't sure where she fell in the hierarchy so she took it upon herself to follow the Commander, earning her a few nasty looks from a number of Captains and Lieutenants.

When she left the room she went and stood beside General Hux on the Bridge, overlooking the snowy environment.

"What's the deal with this map?" She asked, "I know you keep telling me it's 'classified' but if you want my help then I need to know what's going on. Besides, who am I going to tell? I'm not exactly a socialite around here."

"It's not you telling people that I'm worried about." He admitted.

Out of the large window they could see the hanger doors opening, and Kylo Ren's Silencer flew out into the atmosphere. Despite having not listened for a majority of the briefing, she could see on the radar that the base was situated close to Pillio, so he wouldn't have far to go.

_Don't get comfortable. I'll be back soon._

That was definitely a dig from Ren as his ship disappeared over the horizon.

_They'll be the Knights of Andal by the time you get back._

As she snapped out of her conversation with Kylo she realised Hux was staring at her wondering why she'd suddenly gone so silent... She really needed to work on the whole multitasking thing.

"Sorry, I'm still tired." She faked a yawn to try and prove her point.

He exhaled a short sigh, "Perhaps we should go and have breakfast. I can tell you more about the mission."

This was an odd suggestion from Hux, she had never seen him in the Mess Hall before, but perhaps he just ate a weird times of the day - after all it was still early so nobody else would have been in there.

"Yeah I'm up now, may as well make the most of it." She shrugged and walked alongside him out of the Command Centre and towards the Mess Hall.

Everywhere was still empty aside from a few Storm Troopers on their patrols. A majority of the base was still asleep.

"You said you're not worried about me telling other people about this map, so what is you don't want me knowing?" She backtracked to before Kylo Ren had interrupted their conversation.

"It's complicated." He sighed once again, turning to walk through the blast doors with her.

"I don't understand what's so complicated about it." She huffed, grabbing a bowl of fresh fruit and yoghurt - she opted out of the porridge they were serving which looked like slop...

Her and Hux sat down opposite one another, and despite there being nobody else around he kept his voice down. "The First Order's aim to bring order to the galaxy and crush the resistance, as you know."

She nodded as she ate, listening intently.

"But to do so the Supreme Leader does not want any Jedi interference..." He carefully studied her facial expressions, and she was slowly piecing it all together.

"Jedi?" She paused, doing the maths, "Luke Skywalker's still alive isn't he."

"He is. He attempted to train a new generation of Jedi, but encountered... complications. He's all that's left, in exile. The map we're searching for will give us his location." Hux explained, and now she understood why he had been hesitant to tell her.

"That's... A lot." She exhaled a breath, pushing her empty bowl aside. She knew that her Master was Luke's father, and despite never explicitly saying he had a soft spot for him. Part of her had assumed that one day her and Luke would be fighting side by side for the Empire.

"I know you've been taking these weeks to settle in, but perhaps it's time to brush up on your history." He suggested, "We have access to all the archives of the Empire."

"I guess I've just been afraid about what I might find." She admitted.

"Well you'll have to find out sooner or later, and I'd suggest sooner because the Supreme Leader needs Commanders who knows the history of the cause they're fighting for." There was a pointed edge to his tone, and it took her a second but she soon clocked on.

"Commander? You mean-"

"Welcome to the First Order officially, Commander Andal." Hux almost looked proud of her, but something told her he was more excited about the fact that he now had someone other than Kylo Ren in command.

"Ren won't be happy." She snorted, earning an eye roll from Hux, "But I am very grateful, thank you General."

"He can take it up with the Supreme Leader if he wants to throw a tantrum." At this comment, Hux rose from his seat, "I need to return to coordinate the mission, but I'm sure I'll see you later." As formal as ever, he politely nodded and took his leave, leaving Andal alone with her thoughts.

She remained seated for a moment and considered what Hux had just said. It was certainly an honour to have been awarded such a high position within the Order, but something told her it was no accident that the Supreme Leader put her in direct competition with his apprentice. She knew that her true place in the Order was the test Kylo Ren, but there was no way she was going to settle for that, she was going to make herself indispensable.

It was about rolling with the punches, she had been made a Commander, despite there being an ulterior motive behind it that was still something she should have been proud of.

She made her way back to her quarters to get her Holopad. The other takeaway from that conversation was that they were searching for Luke Skywalker in order to kill him. She didn't know how comfortable she felt about hunting down her Master's own son, but there was no room to argue. Besides, he was Kylo Ren's uncle, and he seemed to be the one spearheading the mission, there was probably a bad history there.

Her quarters were so warm and toasty that she decided to stay put in there, and sat splayed out on her sofa scrolling through the archive files. One that quickly caught her attention was the titled 'Fall of the Galactic Empire,' she took a deep breath and opened it up.

It took her the best part of an hour to read through the entire report - a lot of it was unconfirmed due to the lack of survivors but somehow it helped to fill the void that had been there since she came out of suspended animation.

To see it confirmed that Vader had perished onboard the Death Star helped her come to terms with everything, equally she couldn't hide her relief when she read that Palpatine had also died. The details were very scarce, but the assumption in the file was that Luke Skywalker had killed them, since he was the sole survivor out of the three of them.

Compared to how overwhelmed she had felt just the night before after her interaction with Kylo, this brought her the closure she surely needed. She was finally coming to terms with the fact that Darth Vader was gone, but she constantly reminded herself that he had saved her for a reason, and she was determined to finish what he had started.

Having brushed up on the history of the First Order, she eventually got bored of reading and discarded her Holopad on the cushion beside her. She had an hour until the Knights would be arriving for their training session, so she decided to beat them to it and spend some time training herself - hopefully she could also work out what to try and teach them.

She shivered slightly as the cold air outside of her quarters hit her, but she knew she'd quickly warm up in the training facility. As she walked through the now familiar blast doors, she quickly spotted Phasma training the FN division, with the exception of those who were on the mission with Ren.

"When you see battle for the first time I sincerely hope that you all show more nerve than you do here. Dismissed." She waved her hand, and caught sight of Darth Andal walking towards her, a smile crossing her lips.

"Captain." She greeted, "You're still cracking the whip I see."

"Just doing my job, _Commander_ Andal." She reached up to remove her helmet, and revealed a grin on her face, "Congratulations on the promotion."

"Thank you, it's still a bit surreal but it's also nice to have a purpose."

"I can imagine. Are you here to train?" Whilst the two women spoke Phasma's division were gathering themselves before filing out of the training facility, probably to go to the Mess Hall.

"Just for a while, I'm hoping it will give me some inspiration... Ren's got me training his Knights whilst he's off base and I have no clue where to begin." Walking over to get some bandages, she wrapped her fists and headed to behind where the Troopers trained to the equipment area with Phasma following.

"Did you just say Ren put you in charge of his Knights?" She looked stunned, placing her helmet on a bunch and following Andal to a punchbag, where she prepared to hold the bag and allow her to punch.

"Yeah-" She raised her hands up and began throwing simple jab cross combos at the bag, "I thought it was weird too, but he said it's because he thinks I can instil some of Vader's training in them - kinda makes sense I guess." She continued with this combo for a few more reps, before swapping to throw left and right hooks at the bag.

"That still seems off to me. Ren letting anyone other than himself even come close to commanding the Knights? That's certainly out of character."

Andal wondered if she should tell Phasma about the weird connection with Kylo which was seemingly getting stronger, but she decided against it. Whatever it was, it was best kept between the two of them.

"Whatever, knowing Ren he'll have a plan to turn this against me. He'll say I've ruined their training or something." She snorted, knowing full well that this was a possibility.

The two women dropped that conversation eventually, and for the remainder of the hour Phasma spotted for Andal whilst she trained, still racking her brains for what to teach the Knights.

As if on cue, the Kylo Ren fan club came stomping into the training centre in perfect formation. They headed straight for the private room they always used for training at the back.

"I had better get going." She sighed, "Thanks for training with me, it's nice to have company." Having spent a majority of her life training with her mentor she wasn't used to working out alone, so company was appreciated.

"You're more than welcome. I'll see you later, Commander."

"Goodbye, Captain."

With this they parted ways, Phasma exiting the room altogether and Andal following through the doors the Knights had just walked into. She was certainly nervous, she'd never been in charge of leading a training session in her life. However Vader had trained her to adapt and rise to any occasion, and this wasn't going to be any different.

Besides, if Kylo Ren could do it, how hard could it be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just tell you that the next chapter KICKS OFF


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training the Knights of Ren may be daunting, but Darth Vader taught his apprentice to rise to any challenge. 
> 
> Meanwhile, there's trouble on the mission to Pillio and it falls to Darth Andal to step in.

She knew that the Knights had little to no respect for her considering how often they witnessed her trying to kill their boss and vice versa, so today she aimed to earn that respect.

When she entered, they all stood to attention to greet her.

"I'm sure Ren told you I'm leading your training today." Hopefully they couldn't tell how nervous she was, she still barely knew what to focus their training on.

After weeks of attending their training sessions she knew to take their silence as an agreement, Kylo never appreciated them speaking out of turn... this was sure gonna be fun.

"Get warmed up, run basic attack and block drills in pairs." They all quickly complied, going over to the weapons rack to pick their usual choices of weapon before beginning to run drills.

That's when it hit her, "Do you ever train _without_ weapons?" She paced between them, watching their perfectly executed strikes as if they were running a routine.

"No Ma'am, we specialise in weaponry." The tallest one spoke up in response, he had a strong build and a husky voice. Andal liked to assume his face was just as attractive...

She thought back to one of the training sessions with her Master she remembered most clearly - he had taught her the important lesson of not relying on her weapon.

_"A weapon is only as powerful as he who wields it, my young apprentice. If you cannot fight without your weapon, you may as well not use it in the first place."_

Although she was paraphrasing, she effectively repeated these words to the Knights, and she could sense their confusion - hand to hand combat clearly was not their speciality.

"Let me demonstrate the importance of this to you." She pointed randomly at one of the men, "You, come here." Obediently, the Knight came to stand opposite her on the sprung training floor, a blunt, heavy war club as his weapon of choice.

Removing the Lightsaber hilt from her belt, she placed it aside, "Have you got a name?"

"Ushar, Ma'am." He responded.

"Okay Ushar, attack me with everything you have." She was now mimicking Vader's exact lesson he had taught her, and she knew exactly what his response would be.

"But you're unarmed." He seemed uneasy, as though this wasn't going to be a challenge for him... little did he know.

"That's because I intend to take your weapon from you." She responded with a cocky smirk on her lips. She could see the other Knights muttering amongst themselves in her peripheral vision, something told her Kylo Ren had undersold her abilities to them.

"If you say so." Clearly still unsure, he swung the club at her with impressive force but she was quick to dodge under it.

He continuously swung at her, and she was able to keep dodging with ease. This was the exact exercise Vader had taken her through - she had been armed, and he was able to disarm her and turn the scenario in his favour.

Eventually, Ushar faltered and gave a sloppy swing of his club. She took this as her opportunity to deliver a powerful kick to his armoured stomach, sending him hurtling back a few steps. Whilst he was distracted trying to keep his balance, she grabbed his wrist and twisted until he was forced to let go of his weapon handle (she was careful not to really hurt him, Ren surely wouldn't be happy if she did).

Now armed with his heavy club she stood tall opposite her opponent. "If this were a real battle what would you do now?"

She took the silence as a compliment, clearly she had given these men something to think about that wasn't new techniques for fighting with their signature weapons. She spent the next half hour taking them through the foundations of hand to hand combat, which they were quick to pick up considering their background in combat.

The Knights were paired up and taking turns to disarm one another, whilst their teammates sat and watched to pick up on what was done well and what wasn't. Andal was surprisingly enjoying herself, she stood beside the bench the Knights were sat upon whilst Cardo attempted to disarm Vicrul (she had just about managed to learn all of their names, and they now seemed strangely fond of her).

Cardo swept underneath Vicrul and delivered a blow to his shins which caused him to buckle, allowing him to take advantage and claimed the scythe Vicrul usually fought with.

"That was a cheap shot." Vicrul huffed at his opponent.

Andal gave a short chuckle, "Some people might teach you differently but if you ask me, a win is a win - would you rather die having been honourable or survive having fought dirty?"

Just in this past hour she had seen a completely different side to the Knights, one they never showed when their Master was present and that was their lighter, social side. She forgot that these men had been training together for years, and they clearly had a strong bond - it was refreshing to see them lighten up. Shame their Master couldn't follow their example.

"Okay, Ap'lek and Trudgen you're up. Choose who's on offence and defence first." The remaining two Knights stepped up into position whilst the others took a seat on the bench.

They looked to her for permission to begin, and she nodded. Kylo really had them trained to perfection.

As the fighting started she was finding it hard to focus, as if her mind was torn between two places. Flashes of coral and oceans were invading her vision, and as she fought it a splitting headache overcame her, causing her to stumble slightly.

Ushar leapt up and held out a hand to hover near the small of her back incase she fell, "Are you okay?" He asked her.

Images continued flashing through her mind as she held her head in her hand. There were flashes of red and green - blaster bolts. Just at that moment she felt a burning pain in her thigh causing her to drop to one knee and clutch at the wound.

She could just about register Ushar's arm around her, bracing her to ensure she didn't fall any further. But when the images ceased and her mind brought her back to reality she looked down at her hand and saw no blood, there was no wound but she felt the unmistakable sting of a blaster bolt hitting her.

"Darth Andal?" Ushar was calling to her and she finally regained herself, shakily clambering back to her feet with his assistance.

"It's Ren, something's wrong." She was panting slightly, out of breath. "We need to find General Hux, now."

She needn't have said anymore, within seconds she was storming through Starkiller towards High Command surrounded by the Knights of Ren - and despite it being slightly shallow she felt seriously powerful having them as an entourage. She could see why Ren liked having them around, everyone instantly moved out of her way.

Bursting onto the Bridge she saw fear cross of number of faces at the site of Darth Andal accompanied but the intimidating figures behind her. She spotted Captain Engel and called out, "Where's General Hux?"

He clearly wasn't about to argue with the woman, she didn't look in the mood to be told 'no.' "In the meeting room. Although he did say not to disturb-"

"-No time for that." She turned to the Knights, "Stay here, I'll be right back."

"I must protest-" The Captain raced after her but she ignored him, entering the meeting room to see Hux sat in amongst a number of holograms. He was likely meeting with the First Order's allied planets' leaders.

"Commander Andal what do you think you're doing?" The General hissed, he clearly wasn't happy.

"It's an emergency." She glanced at the holograms, not wanting to give anything away to people outside of the Order's High Command, "Regarding a certain map."

This caught his attention and he quickly turned back to his meeting, "Ladies and gentlemen, you'll have to excuse me, this can't wait. I'll reschedule with you all soon." With that all of the holograms disappeared, and Hux rose to his feet.

"What's the problem?" He heaved a sigh.

"It's Ren, I think Pillio was a trap... either way the Resistance are there, and he's injured. I don't know about his squadron." She explained, as calmly as she could - why was she suddenly so worried?

"We haven't received a distress signal, so you're basing this on _what_?" Hux folded his arms, clearly thinking he had just been interrupted for no reason.

"Please just trust me, the Rebellion- I mean Resistance, is there. They're in danger."

"You want me to launch a rescue mission on the basis of trusting you? I'm sorry but I need real proof." He walked back out to the Bridge, Andal following closely behind.

"Ren's injured, they might kill him!" She protested, "General please, I've seen it."

"And I told you, until we receive a distress call there is nothing I can do. I certainly cannot justify sending a division of Stormtroopers until we're sure."

"But-"

"I said _no._ " He gave her a harsh look and she exhaled a sigh, accepting defeat. Heading back towards the Knights she motioned for them to follow her, and the second they were out of High Command where Hux couldn't hear her, she whipped around to face them.

"Get what you need and be in the hanger in five minutes." She turned back around to walk straight there, but one of Knights spoke, a voice she now recognised as Kuruk.

"But the General said-"

She turned back around to face them, "The General said he wouldn't send a division of Stormtroopers, but we're not Stormtroopers."

At this the Knights all nodded and muttered words of agreement, "We're with you, Commander."

A small grin crossed her face, their loyalty to Kylo was clear. She was determined to save him, she didn't know why, but it felt right.

Having gone to collect their weapons, the Knights reunited with Andal in the hanger, where she stood looking around in confusion, "Uh, I don't suppose any of you know which ship to take?"

"We can handle that. But we'll need to get the operators to open the doors, which without orders won't be easy."

"Okay..." She paused for a moment to think, "Here's the plan: you guys get us a ship and be ready to take off, I'll handle the hanger doors."

Giving her a nod, the Knights headed in the direction of a Trooper transport ship. Meanwhile, Andal scanned the hanger until she spotted the chief operator, whom she briskly walked towards.

The second he saw her approaching, he looked scared. If the dark clothes and angry resting face didn't intimidate people usually the Lightsaber would do the trick. "I'm going to need you to open the hanger doors for me."

"I-I'm sorry Commander but unscheduled departures from the hanger must be cleared by General Hux."

"Let me rephrase that." She inhaled a deep breath as she tapped into the Force, waving her hand in front of the man's face, "You will open the hanger doors."

Falling under her hypnotic trance, he repeated back to her in monotone, "I will open the hanger doors." With that he did exactly as told.

With the doors open she knew it wouldn't be long before Hux realised what she was doing. Thankfully the Knights were on the ball and they had pulled the ship up beside her to board.

She ran onto to ship, "Go!" She yelled at whoever was piloting, and they didn't need to be told twice, they took off within seconds and were quickly leaving Starkiller Base's atmosphere and heading into space.

Walking into the cockpit she was sure to disable the ship's comms and tracker so Hux could not contact or follow her. If she came back without having proven herself right there'd be big trouble, but she was so certain about what she had seen - as if she had experienced it herself.

The journey to Pillio was short, and within moments they were descending towards the aquatic planet. Andal's blood was pumping, she was excited to finally be in the field, not only that but to step onto the surface a real planet and breath fresh air for the first time in over thirty years.

"We've tracked Master Ren's ship, but our radar is showing a lot of heat signatures surrounding it." Ushar, who was piloting, called over.

"Then we steer clear, we need to try and find Ren before we engage the Resistance." She ordered, "Land us somewhere shielded," Walking over to lean over the pilot chair and see out the window, amongst the vast oceans and open lands she spotted a small forest, "There! That will have to do."

"Roger that." The ship landed, and the Knights all looked to her for orders. She had been made a Commander, it was time to start acting like one.

Fumbling around the variety of gadgets and weapons onboard she found some communication devices, handing one round to all of the Knights, attaching her own to her wrist. "It looks like the Resistance was waiting to ambush the mission, so stay on guard they're probably expecting us. Two teams: one stay with the ship and call if you see anything suspicious. I need the other three of you to get a look at the size of the Resistance forces, go to Ren's ship and tell us what you see - strictly recon only."

"What about Master Ren?" Ap'lek asked as they all synced up their comms.

"I'll find him, don't worry." Nodding at them all she opened the ramp to exit, grabbing a disposable med pack to throw over her shoulders.

With that she jogged out onto the planet's surface, filling her lungs with the fresh sea air. The atmosphere was far more humid than she was expecting, and it was refreshing to finally be warm outdoors.

_Ren it's me, where are you?_

Silence.

_Can you hear me? Surely you can hear me._

Still no response. She felt her heart dropping to her stomach... what if he was dead already? Surely not, and why did she care so damn much?

She decided to opt for the old fashioned method and just look for him. Basic survival skills made her think that he wouldn't have strayed too far from his Silencer because he knew that's where the First Order would have tracked his location. Equally, he couldn't remain close enough that the Resistance would see him, he would have gone somewhere that could provide cover - surely the area where they had landed their ship was the most logical given the amount of overgrown foliage there was.

_What do you want, I'm busy._

His voice suddenly echoing in her head caused an involuntary sigh of relief to escape her lips.

_Yes I can see that, wandered into a trap did you?_

_How do you know that?_

_I saw it._

_What do you mean you saw it?_

_I mean I was training your Knights and had visions of the blaster fire on Pillio._

_How is that possible?_

_Do you really want to argue with me about how it's possible when you should be grateful that it happened? Where are you?_

Ren went silent after that, but she felt a pull in the Force - he was leading her to wherever he was, so she followed.

As she came through a clearing of overgrown plants she was forcibly pulled to the ground, landing with a thud right on Kylo Ren's chest. He was laying splayed out with his back against a large tree.

"You idiot." She hissed, moving to sit up, "I do have eyes you know."

"What are you doing here?" He replied, the mechanical voice almost taking her by surprise since she had gotten used to his normal voice in her head.

"Disobeying orders to save your skin, and a thank you wouldn't go amiss." She shot him a glare but nevertheless pulled the med pack off her shoulders and opened it up.

Andal knew it was a blaster wound to the thigh, she could hopefully just clean it up and stick a bacta patch on it for now. Ren had torn off a piece of his cowl to act as a bandage, but when she saw the wound it looked deep, no wonder he had been forced to sit against the tree.

Silence hung in the air between them as she made quick work of cleaning the wound, which looked much better once all the dried blood was gone. Thankfully the blood was starting to clot so it wouldn't be long before the flow stopped altogether.

"How did you know?" He asked, clearly regarding his wound.

"I felt it. I thought I'd been shot in the thigh, but when I looked down there was nothing." She quietly admitted. Andal wanted to prolong the inevitable 'why is the Force connecting us' conversation for as long as possible - she would rather pretend it wasn't happening for a bit longer first.

"This connection-" He began, but was swiftly interrupted.

"-Done." She hastily applied his bacta patch which instantly provided Kylo with some relief, and he could feel himself becoming more aware as his blood began to circulate properly again.

He moved to stand, and with some difficulty she helped pull him to his feet and making their way back to the ship.

"I've got Ren. Status report on the Resistance?" She spoke into her comms, moving slowly since Kylo was still limping a bit - she would have offered to give him some support but she knew he would never accept.

"If you're not supposed to be here how have you brought a team?" He piped up from behind her.

"Easy, I brought _your_ team." She smirked at him, feeling him begin to get angry at the thought of someone else commanding his Knights, but before he could speak Trudgen's voice came over the comm.

"They've got Master Ren's ship surrounded. There's a lot of them."

"Any Stormtroopers?" She replied.

"All dead I'm afraid."

"Okay, thanks Trudgen meet us back at the ship."

"You brought my Knights? Without my permission?" He hissed, and Andal stopped walking and turned to him with disbelief on her face.

"Oh I'm sorry, would you rather I just left you down here to bleed out?" She snapped, "You're insufferable, you know that?"

They could see their ship becoming visible amongst the foliage, and part of her was wishing she could stay on Pillio to avoid Hux's wrath back on Starkiller.

"I thought you'd want to see me dead. Why did you come?" He pointed out, and she fell silent, unsure of what to say.

"I don't know..." She eventually responded, barely loud enough for him to hear.

When they arrived back at the ship, the six Knights were reunited and immediately fell into line when they saw their Master approaching. Andal glanced at Kylo and noticed that he was trying his best not to show that he was injured, and she rolled her eyes.

"Prepare to depart." She nodded at Ushar.

"Yes Commander." He nodded, but before any of the Knights could move to get onboard the ship Kylo Ren insisted on interjecting.

"No." He snapped, and all the Knights froze, suddenly unsure of who to obey. Kylo was their Master, but equally this was Andal's mission.

" _No?_ " She turned to him in disbelief.

"The informant is with the Resistance, and he knows the location of the map. I'm not leaving until I have him." He was now facing her, she could tell he wasn't going to let it go.

Pinching the bridge of her nose she exhaled a sigh, "Okay fine, I'll take the Knights and go and get the informant."

"I'm coming with you." Damn that stubborn attitude.

"You're injured, you need to stay here."

"You don't know who you're targeting." He pointed out, and she hated to admit it but he was right.

" _Fine,_ then we all go." And with that the Knights all drew their weapons, ready to follow orders.

As the group trekked towards the clearing where the Silencer was surrounded, Kylo grabbed her arm and pulled her to hang back slightly with him.

"Commander?" He asked.

"Hux promoted me this morning." She replied with a shrug.

He didn't reply as they trailed behind the Knights, still holding her arm. She could tell he was calculating things, but she was finding it hard to get a read on his emotions.

When they reached the clearing the Knights turned to the two Commanders, expecting orders, and Andal looked to Ren.

"Over to you."

He pushed forward so he was able to see, and she followed. Just beyond where they were hidden within the overgrown flora there were probably around 50 Resistance troops all surrounding Ren's ship - they must have been jumped as soon as they landed.

"See the one not in uniform? He's our target."

Andal's eyes scanned the crowd of soldiers, and when her eyes fell on the man in question her jaw dropped, "That's Del Meeko." She turned to Ren in disbelief.

"You know him?" He asked her.

"He was a member of the Inferno Squad. They were an elite special forces unit working for the Empire." She couldn't believe that someone she had known for so many years was stood before her, alive, but a traitor.

"We need him alive, kill all the others." He ordered the Knights, who all nodded in agreement.

With that, the group launched their assault on the Resistance, and blaster fire rained down on them. Kylo and Andal led the pack, drawing their Lightsabers in unison and drawing the fire to allow the Knights to begin cutting down the soldiers.

The two Force-users looked positively terrifying as they stormed through the hoards of Resistance troops. Perhaps they had been feeling confident after they had managed to injure the infamous Kylo Ren, but here he was as dangerous as ever, and he wasn't alone.

Andal could see the Knights easily overpowering their opponents as her and Kylo continued to deflect blaster bolts, some managing to hit the targets. She spotted Meeko, and saw him pushing through the crowds to try and board Ren's Silencer.

 _Stay here._ She mentally told Kylo before bolting after Meeko, using the Force to harshly pull his body off the boarding ramp of the Silencer and to the ground in front of her. She placed her boot on his chest to prevent him from moving and pointed her Saber at his throat.

His eyes flashed with recognition, but he was stunned, he couldn't possibly believe what he was seeing, "D-Darth Andal? How?"

"Be quiet, traitor." She spat, sensing a blast bolt heading straight for her back which stopped in midair, much to the dismay of the man who had fired it.

Turning around she saw Ren with his hand outstretched, holding the bolt in midair.

 _Move._ She heard him tell her, and she reacted quickly, stepping aside to allow him to release the blaster bolt.

In the momentary lapse, Del Meeko scrambled to his feet but was quickly stopped by the Force constricting his movements. Andal approached him and tapped into his head, putting him to sleep.

"Get backup here _now!_ " She heard one of the Resistance Captains yell, and at that she yelled to Ren and the Knights.

"We've got what we came for!"

With some difficulty she dragged Meeko's limp body aboard the Silencer whilst Kylo moved to cover their escape. She could feel a stinging pain in her thigh, and when she looked to Ren she could see blood beginning to seep through the bacta-patch - he had reopened the wound.

_You're hurt, get onboard and the Knights can take the other transport back to base._

"No, we need to kill them!" He snarled, "They might know the location of the map."

"They have reinforcements on the way, there's no way we can take all of them with you in that state!" She yelled back, "For all we know they've already transmitted the location back to their base!"

Letting out a frustrated roar from beneath him helmet, Kylo conceded and limped up the ramp, calling to the Knights to collect the other ship and meet them back on base.

She threw herself into the pilot's seat and raised the ramp as quickly as she could.

Looking at the panels in front of her she inhaled a deep breath, it had been a _long_ time since she had piloted a ship, and on top of that the technology and mechanics had seriously progressed since then.

She turned to Ren who had sunk onto the floor beside Meeko's unconscious body, his hand pressing on his thigh - he wasn't in a fit state to help her. He looked back at her and she felt his presence in her mind, but this time he wasn't trying to read it.

Andal looked back at the console, and suddenly everything looked familiar - as if she were looking at it through Kylo's eyes. Acting on the instinct Kylo instilled in her mind she managed to get the engines fired up.

Within moments they were in the air, hurtling back towards Starkiller Base. The Resistance wouldn't dare follow them knowing that they'd never survive approaching the weaponised planet.

Glancing at the radar she could see the Knights following behind. She reactivated the communicator and called out to the base, "This is Commander Andal, we need the Hanger doors open."

"Roger that, Commander."

When the snowy landscape of Starkiller Base came back into view she exhaled a sigh, she never thought she'd be relieved to be back in the cold.

It was a rocky landing, even with Kylo directing her mentally she was still out of practise. The Knights landed alongside them, and she could sense Hux's presence waiting for them. Before she opened the ramp, she stepped over Meeko's body and helped Ren to his feet which he shockingly didn't argue about.

With both of them now stood, she lowered the ramp and slowly walked down the ramp with Kylo limping behind her. She felt a shiver run down her spine as the cold air hit her, the humidity on Pillio was looking very attractive right now... "Maker did it get colder here or is it just me?" She muttered to nobody in particular, earning a low grunt from Ren.

She could see Hux stood with a scowl on his face, but before he could yell at her she turned to two Stormtroopers, speaking loud enough for him to hear.

"The prisoner is onboard, take him to interrogation."

She turned back to Hux who at that moment looked more confused, his anger fading. His gaze slowly honed in on the wound Kylo was sporting on his thigh.

"Commander Andal..." He approached her, and she kept her posture upright.

"General." She was definitely nervous, she hadn't been a Commander for a whole day and she was already going to be in deep shit.

"I think," He sighed, as if he were struggling to get the words out, "I think the First Order owes you thanks."

She couldn't hide the grin that broke out on her face - it was damn good to be proven right.

_Quit being so smug._

Andal shot Ren a 'stop ruining my moment' look. "Commander Ren here needs a visit to the Med Bay - unfortunately a single blaster bolt was a bit too much for him to handle."

"It was _not-_ " He protested, but was cut off by Hux who was more than happy to play along with her taunting.

"Yes, you're right. Ren go to the Med Bay, I'll allow Commander Andel to handle the debrief."

With the Knights having disembarked the Trooper Transport they marched over to meet their Master, who limped off with them following. She could feel the rage bubbling inside of him, and she couldn't resist adding fuel to the fire.

_I'm still waiting to hear a thank you._

_Don't hold your breath._

"Shall we?" Hux motioned for her to walk with him and they headed back to High Command to debrief.

"I still don't understand how you knew. You knew the Resistance was there, you knew Ren was injured, _how?_ " He asked her, and she bit her lip.

"I don't know, it was just a feeling."

She knew it was more than that, whatever the connection between them was it went deeper than anything she had ever experienced. The more they explored it, the more powerful she felt - as if she were drawing strength from Kylo Ren and vice versa.

For now she would continue pretending that it didn't exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is so long and I don't really know if it's come off as I envisioned it, but I don't hate it at least


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren and Darth Andal have to work together to interrogate Del Meeko, and it has some disastrous consequences.

It had been a long few days. After returning from Pillio everything had been a blur, she had been constantly in and out of meetings and debriefings - turns out being a Commander involved actual work... She wondered how Ren seemed to get away with doing so little.

She actually hadn't seen Kylo since she saved his ass on Pillio, talk about a Damsel in Distress. He had also been suspiciously quiet, she hadn't heard any of his thoughts or even felt his presence nearby even though she knew he was definitely out of the Med Bay by now. It looked like she was never going to get that 'thank you' from him after all.

It was early, too early for Darth Andal's liking, but responsibilities were calling. She brushed out her H/C hair and readied herself for the day ahead - her schedule once again was all based in High Command, and part of her was longing to see training with the Knights appear on her holo pad as it used to.

Walking to High Command, many people would now greet her or give her a nod of acknowledgement as she walked through the base and it felt good to be respected again. She had spent her time in the Empire as the apprentice of one of the most feared men in the galaxy, and she strived to be like Darth Vader and command respect.

She walked onto the Bridge and muttered greetings to a few of the Captains and Lieutenants who were milling around, before spotting the General stood in his usual spot looking out at the horizon.

"You wanted to see me." Andal stood beside him, not finding the view quite as enticing as Hux clearly did.

"I did. I'm having very little luck with the interrogations, I thought perhaps you and Ren might be slightly more... persuasive." He finally tore his gaze away and turned to face her.

She paused for a moment, weighing up what had just been said. She absolutely knew how to interrogate people, but alongside Kylo Ren? That was surely a recipe for disaster. "Why both of us? Do you expect us to do a good cop bad cop routine?" She snorted.

"The prisoner has had rather some choice words regarding you, and Lord Vader. I will admit this interrogation requires a Force-user, but I cannot risk you or Ren killing Meeko before you've extracted the information." Hux had a point, but she certainly didn't want to admit that.

"I could handle it fine." Andal shrugged.

"Perhaps, but it doesn't take the Force to see how much hatred you harbour for Meeko - the man is a traitor to the Empire, and I doubt traitors are something you take lightly."

She exhaled a sigh, "You might have a point."

Hux's face displayed something close to a smirk, "Is that the closest I'll get to being told I'm right?"

"Absolutely." She grinned at him. They had a strange friendship, Hux was always very formal but occasionally she saw glimpses of his more relaxed side.

"I've summoned Ren here too." Just like that he had snapped back into General-mode.

"Then where is he?" Andal raised an eyebrow, she knew he wasn't very nearby yet because she couldn't sense him. Then again he had clearly been avoiding her for the past few days, he may not show up at all.

"I told him to come later than you." Hux shrugged.

"Is that to stop us from tearing apart the Bridge?" She rolled her eyes. Despite this connection, and the strangely emotional moments they had shared together they were still like a ticking time bomb when they were in the same room.

"Actually no, it's just too early in the rotation for me to have to deal with him." He snorted, and Andal let out a loud laugh.

"I know he can be insufferable but I really don't understand why everyone finds him so threatening."

_You know I can hear you._

Hearing that voice in her head for the first time in days almost caused her to jump out of her skin, "Maker, you scared me." She muttered.

Hux looked at her in confusion, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." She quickly replied, realising she must have sounded crazy talking to herself, "I think I'll take my leave, I have places to be."

"Very well, I'll see you this afternoon for the report on your interrogation."

_So you've been listening to me for the past two rotations but actively avoiding me? That's not creepy at all..._

She responded to Ren as she left the Bridge, making her way to the training facility, sadly on official business rather than to workout. Phasma had gathered the FN division, and as Commander she now had to occasionally oversee their training, today both her and Kylo were attending. 

_I haven't been avoiding you._

_Could have fooled me, it's been nice having my head to myself instead of sharing it with you._

Kylo once again went quiet after this, but suddenly his presence washed over her for the first time in days.

"You should count yourself lucky," His distorted voice sneered as he came to stand next to her, "You have no idea how exhausting it is having you in my head."

She rolled her eyes and walked alongside him to the training facility, "And yet if I hadn't been inside your head you'd probably be laying dead against a tree on Pillio right now."

"I would have found a way." He mumbled.

"Or, just saying 'thank you,' also works." She flashed him a fake smile as they walked through the blast doors.

When they entered the training facility, the Troopers all quickly stood to attention and she could sense the nervous energy dancing around the room. When Phasma approached them, a grin broke out on Andal's face and Kylo... well, he just stood still with his emotionless emo mask on.

"Commanders. I'm grateful for your time." She nodded to them both.

_I didn't sign up to be part of a double act._

It was no secret that Ren wasn't happy that Andal was now a Commander. But she hadn't asked for it, she was just following orders.

_And I didn't sign up to have you living inside my head, but you win some and you lose some._

Kylo scoffed aloud, which caught Phasma's attention, "Is there a problem, Commander?"

"No, there isn't Captain. Begin your session." She could tell he was speaking through gritted teeth - if he couldn't take the insults he shouldn't have kept throwing them at her.

"Very well." The Captain glanced at Andal, and she gave him a 'he's in a bad mood' look.

The Troopers all began running their battle drills - they mostly focused on combat and blast aim. Andal and Ren paced through the soldiers at work, largely remaining silent whilst Phasma barked orders at them.

_I know what Hux is going to say to me when I meet him after this._

Kylo distracted her from what she was observing and she shot him a look from across the room. She knew he was looking back, even if she couldn't see his eyes.

_Would that be because you were eavesdropping on my conversation with him?_

_I wouldn't call it eavesdropping._

_Then what would you call it?_

_Opportunistic listening._

Andal desperately stifled a laugh, not wanting to look like she was laughing in the faces of the poor Troopers who were target practising with their blasters.

_That's definitely the same thing._

She finally responded. They were both seemingly doing their jobs so nobody could tell that neither of them were at all focused on the session at hand.

_Why does it matter? Either way I don't need your help interrogating a prisoner._

_And I don't need your help, but here we are._

Kylo moved to stand beside her as she watched the Troopers firing their blasters at targets, he leaned down and whispered close to her ear, "You won't be able to handle it."

Andal wasn't stupid, Kylo was trying to rile her up so she would lose her cool during the interrogation. She knew he was furious about her being made a Commander but it was getting more and more annoying that he was taking it out on her. All she was trying to do was her job whilst he just got in the way.

"I wish I'd left you to die under that tree." She hissed, before they separated to resume watching the training.

They didn't speak for the remainder of the session, and at the end Kylo stormed off to meet Hux without another word whilst Phasma approached Andal.

"You two are still getting along well I see." She let out a short laugh.

"Better than ever, saving his life and not even getting so much as a 'thank you' for it really does help build a friendship!" Andal exclaimed, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Did you honestly expect him to show you gratitude?" She reached up to remove her silver helmet, brushing away the short blonde locks of hair that fell into her face.

"You're right, perhaps I'm just slightly bitter." She shrugged, receiving a very pointed look from Phasma, "Okay yes I'm _very_ bitter, but Ren just infuriates me."

"And here I thought I'd noticed the two of you fighting less over the past few days."

"Just because we don't have our Lightsabers at each other's throats doesn't mean we get along." Andal snorted.

"I'd still call it a step in the right direction." Phasma was exceptionally practical, she certainly knew how to look for the best in every situation.

_If you're not at the interrogation room in two minutes I'm doing this without you._

"Well believe me Kylo Ren isn't getting anymore charming." She huffed, earning a slightly confused look from the Captain who didn't understand where that comment had come from - she still wasn't used to balancing the mental link with conversations. "I need to go, but I'll meet you in the Mess Hall later?" She quickly added.

"I'll see you there." Phasma nodded, seeing her to the exit before replacing her helmet and returning to dismiss her Troops.

_Quit crying I'm just round the corner._

Perhaps arguing with Kylo wasn't the best idea before an interrogation, but he had started it.

She could sense his bubbling frustration as he came into view, or perhaps it was her own, these days it was becoming hard to tell.

"Let's get this over with." She sighed, walking through the door with him hot on her heels.

Del Meeko was strapped to the interrogation chair, head laying low with his brown hair falling flat across his forehead. Hux had clearly already put him through it. He slowly raised his head to see who had entered the room, his eyes widening when he caught sight of Darth Andal. She could see the dried blood on his face and around his mouth, he looked in a bad way.

Both Force-users remained silent, simply staring at the prisoner before them. Meeko ended up being the first one to speak, "Darth Andal, how are you alive?" His voice was weak, but there was still conviction behind it - she couldn't believe this was the same man she used to work alongside.

"You're not the one asking the questions, traitor." She snapped in response.

When she knew him he was a young man, and she could see the age on his face - he must have been in his fifties by now.

"But you survived, and you look... the _same._ " He croaked, "How?"

The feeling of betrayal she got every time she looked at Meeko was quickly turning into anger. She could recall so many memories with him - he had been a Stormtrooper, turned Shoretrooper, turned TIE pilot and finally inducted into Inferno Squad under the command of Iden Versio. Andal had spent years working alongside this man and his squad.

Taking a step forward she placed her hands on the chair either side of his head and brought her face down to his level, "I don't owe you an explanation. You're lucky I haven't killed you already, but you have something I need." She threatened him in a low tone, "I suggest you tell me where we can find the map, otherwise I'll let my friend here extract the information himself."

Ren remained silent, stood stoically in the corner of the room with his arms folded across his chest. For all it was worth they did look like an intimidating pair.

Meeko exhaled a mocking laugh, and Andal withdrew from her position, taking up a stance similar to Ren's. "You think you can break me? You were Vader's _pet,_ following him around obediently, whilst he let Palpatine torture you. You were always weak."

She was trying desperately to keep her emotions in check, but the rage boiling inside of her was becoming too strong to push away, it was consuming her. Meeko knew how to push her buttons, those who were of any significance in the Empire had to undergo vigorous interrogation training, and Meeko was one of those who had experienced it. He was trying to get her to kill him before he could give up the map location.

Darth Andal was seething, her fists were clenched so tight she could have drawn blood from where her nails were piercing her skin. Kylo Ren finally moved forward and placed his hand on her shoulder to move her away, surprisingly gently.

"Tell us where the map is, or I'll take it from you myself." Kylo's voice manifested a deep growl, she could sense that he was sharing her rage.

"I'll die before I give you anything." Meeko spat, Darth Andal still stood with a scowl on her face.

"You'll only wish you were dead." Kylo raised a hand to hover near Del Meeko's head, and a wicked smirk crossed Andal's face - he deserved to suffer for betraying the Empire.

As Kylo invaded his mind, the images replicated themselves in Andal's mind. She could see everything that he was having to wade through in order to see what he needed. Del Meeko was trained in resisting the Force and she knew how they had been taught to do this, it was by pushing distracting images to forefront of the mind, whether they be real or not.

Andal was being involuntarily dragged through Meeko's mind alongside Kylo and she _knew_ he was choosing to show images that would fuel her rage. He wanted her to kill him before they could find the location of the map, and when she saw images of herself and Vader training Del Meeko's Stormtrooper division her heart dropped. Her and Kylo stood behind Meeko, watching from his perspective.

There were mutters from Meeko and his fellow Troopers as Vader and his apprentice walked away:

"She wouldn't last a day without Lord Vader."

"He only keeps her around to give Palpatine someone to take his anger out on."

"You know she doesn't have any memories of her life? She's probably some nobody from the outer rim."

"Vader can't care about her, he doesn't care about anyone. I wonder why he keeps her around."

Rage clouded her judgement, she couldn't tear herself away from the images. She knew she was falling into the mental trap Meeko was enticing her with, but she couldn't pull herself away. She was startled by feeling a hand grab her own, attempting to drag her away.

_It isn't real, he's just doing this to distract you. I can't break out of this if you're holding us back. My Grandfather trained you better than this._

She hated to admit it, but Kylo Ren was right. She let him pull her away from the vision, trying her best to centre her rage for both of their sakes. More images flashed before her eyes, this time they were more sporadic and out of Meeko's control - Kylo had broken through. Somewhere in the back of her mind she could hear him starting to cry out in pain from his spot in the interrogation chair.

That's when they saw it, the sands of Jakku, a hut, an elderly man and the map. This was it.

_Lor San Tekka._

She heard Kylo's voice in her head.

_You know him?_

_I used to._

With that they were ripped from the vision and back into reality. Andal braced herself against the wall for a moment, before looking over to Ren who stood straight and intimidating as ever. Her gaze travelled to Meeko in the chair who looked close to death, and now she could turn the tables on him.

Pushing herself off the wall, she walked over to him and looked him deep in the eyes, "How does it feel to be a failure to the Resistance as well as the Empire?"

"The Resistance already know where the map is, you'll never get there in time. You'll never be as strong as Darth Va-"

He was cut off by Andal plunging her Master's Lightsaber through his chest, "And you will die alone, knowing that you're a dirty traitor." She harshly whispered these words into his ear, holding the back of his neck, they were the last words he heard before the life left his eyes.

In one swift movement she withdrew her blade from his chest and stormed out of the room, leaving Kylo alone with Meeko's lifeless body. He tried to grab her arm and stop her, but she was quick to snatch it away.

" _Don't_ Ren, I'm really not in the mood for any of your snide remarks right now." She snapped.

It was becoming impossible to bottle up her anger, the vision Meeko had shown her whether it was real or not had struck a nerve with her. It was a vicious cycle: she knew by giving into her anger it was exactly what Meeko had wanted, but she was getting more angry at herself for having reacted how she did. There was no winning.

Andal knew she couldn't go through the rest of the day like this, but she was just so angry at everything she could barely think straight. She stormed back to her quarters, shoving a few Stormtroopers out of her way en route.

When the blast doors slammed shut behind her she stood with her fists clenched, looking for somewhere to take out her rage.

_"Rage is our weapon, but we can't always contain it. You're strong with the Force my young apprentice, but even you can't contain your emotions if they start to overwhelm you."_

_"Can you, Master?"_

_Vader paused, as if debating whether to tell her the truth or not, "No, not always."_

_"What do you do to stop it?"_

With a mighty roar she unleashed her rage, the furniture in her room being pushed away by an almighty blast from the Force, and it was like a weight being lifted off her shoulders.

After a few moments she fell to the ground, out of breath. But that cloud of rage had been lifted, now she truly understood Vader's lesson from that day - and perhaps she understood now why Ren frequently had outbursts of anger.

Pulling herself back to her feet she inhaled a deep breath and focused her mind back to its usual calm state. Back to business, just like that.

><><><><><><><><><

Andal had found Phasma in the Mess Hall and told her about killing Del Meeko, but she had been careful to leave out plenty of the details. After that her and Ren had met with Hux to give him the information they had extracted in the interrogation, the two Force-users didn't exchange any words but she had noticed Ren's gaze fixated on her. It was obvious he knew about her outburst, but they didn't outwardly discuss it.

The First Order would be sending a team to Jakku in a mere few days to recover the map, until they then just had to prepare.

It had been an exhaustingly long rotation, and Andal was relieved to make her way back to her quarters - the furniture was surely still all the over the place but she'd deal with that later, all she wanted at that moment was to sleep. As she approached the blast doors she heard that familiar voice in her head.

_Wait._

She exhaled a sigh, turning to face Kylo Ren as he approached her - the fatigue in her E/C eyes was evident.

"What do you want Ren? I'm really tired can we just-" His voice in her head cut her off.

_Thank you._

Handing her something, he said nothing as he walked away and she was just left confused more than anything.

As she walked into her mess of a room, she looked at what he had handed her - it looked like a ball of fabric and when she unfolded it there was no hiding the smile that broke out on her face.

It was a black cloak, one that wrapped tightly around her shoulders and almost covered her robes, falling just low enough to brush the ground. The inside was lined with soft fur and the material was of the highest quality.

That's when Kylo's words hit her - he was thanking her for Pillio. She couldn't hide it, she desperately tried to, but she couldn't hide the joy this small gesture gave her, and somewhere across the base Kylo Ren was smiling from under his helmet.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being awoken by a mysterious vision Kylo Ren visits Darth Andal and they finally start to dig deeper into their connection through the Force.

Darth Andal didn't know where she was, her surroundings were fuzzy, all she felt was an overwhelming sense of despair and it was tearing her apart.

She was on her knees, screaming, sobbing, crying out to someone. But nobody was there.

Somewhere in her peripheral vision a ship was taking off, but she could barely register it - her heart was broken in two but she didn't know _why._ No matter how hard she searched there was something blocking her.

Suddenly a hand reached out to her, and a deep voice came with it, "Take my hand. Take my hand and I promise you will never feel pain like this again."

She looked up at the dark figure, tears still freely running down her cheeks. She did want the pain to go away, more than anything. She slowly reached up and allowed his hand to pull her to her feet, leading her away. Away from the hurt, the pain, the _despair._

All she wanted was to be as strong as he had been.

Kylo Ren woke up with a jolt. He was drenched in a cold sweat, and it took him a few moments to gather himself and adjust to his surroundings.

He sat up, breathing heavily - why was he dreaming about Darth Andal... unless. Unless it was _her_ dream and he had seen it too.

She had also woken up, he could feel it. He could feel her confusion and pain, and part of him wanted to help her.

He didn't know where this desire to help the woman who should have been his enemy came from, but it was there - and it scared him. She had been made a Commander, managed to gain the trust of his Knights, cemented her position in the First Order, he should have _hated_ her... but he couldn't bring himself to.

Clambering to his feet he grabbed a black t-shirt to pull over his head and stumbled out of his quarters, wearing just the t-shirt and black sweats - if anybody saw him now he'd most definitely have to kill them.

Darth Andal's room was only a few doors down, he used the Force to let himself in and stood in the doorway, probably looking a mess with no shoes on and his hair sticking out in all sorts of directions.

He could just about see her, her features illuminated in the pale light streaming in from the doorway. There were tears staining her cheeks, and she was sat with her knees pulled up to her chest - Kylo had never seen her look so vulnerable.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a quiet whisper, if she was surprised to see him without his mask she didn't show it.

"I don't know." He answered honestly, stepping inside and allowing the doors to close behind him. The room was plunged into darkness, but she reached over to turn the lamp by her bed on.

"You saw it, didn't you."

He could tell that she hated being seen in such a vulnerable state, but equally he knew she wasn't wanting him to leave. He noticed that her quarters looked like a crash site, furniture practically everywhere except where it should have been - he knew that this was the result of her anger from the previous day, but he figured now wasn't the best time to mention it.

"I did." He became slightly bolder and walked over to where she sat huddled on her bed, noticing that he was towering over her he decided to crouch down to bring himself level to her. "Do you remember that happening?"

"No." She met his gaze, her E/C eyes were glassy as if she could cry again at any second, "But it happened, I know it did."

"Your memories must be starting to bleed through." He reached out and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. It was if he he'd lost all control of his actions, the energy between them was strangely magnetic it just felt... right. "I can help you find out who you are."

"I know who I am." She shook her head, those emotional walls rebuilding as she shuffled away from him slightly, "I don't want to know who I was before."

"Why not?" His eyebrows knitted together.

"If you could forget who you were before Kylo Ren, would you?" The question caught him off guard, and he fell silent whilst contemplating his answer.

Having his memories taken would undeniably remove a lot of his weaknesses, it would eliminate his call to the light. But he knew deep down that he couldn't do it, and he hated himself for that.

"No. I wouldn't." He replied.

"You wouldn't, or you couldn't?" She softly asked him, and he was taken aback by how easily she could read him, but he admitted the truth - there was no point in lying to her.

"I couldn't. It makes me weak, but I know I couldn't do it."

"I don't think you're weak." She gave a small shrug, "You have to be strong in order to live with your weakness, your Grandfather taught me that."

"That was easy for him to say, he didn't have any weaknesses." Kylo sighed as Andal shuffled over further and gestured for him to sit on the bed rather than remain crouched on the floor.

He sat on the very edge of the bed, still facing her with one leg crossed and the other still hanging over the bedside.

"He did have weaknesses. I never knew much about his past, but he carried it with him, and then there was Luke... and there was me." She spoke the last part as if she were ashamed, and then Kylo remembered the vision he had seen inside her head a while ago - Palpatine had accused her of being Vader's weakness. He could only imagine that the Emperor had conditioned her into seeing herself as a burden.

"He wanted me to be stronger-" She continued, "Without memories I had no baggage from my past, but that in itself has made me weak." It was hard for her to admit that, he could tell and suddenly he had nothing to say.

To hear that Darth Vader also had weaknesses was astounding to him, Kylo had spent so long assuming that his Grandfather had been invincible. Perhaps weakness really was inevitable.

"The dreams, do you have them often?" Kylo finally spoke again, the question seeming to catch her off guard.

"Not like that, that was something I don't even remember happening. I've never even come close to seeing my memories before."

"I believe you." He paused, "Can I ask you something?"

She looked at him, as if suspicious of what he was about to say, "Sure."

"That night when you first reconnected with the Force, did you feel more powerful?"

"I think you know the answer to that."

"I need to hear you say it. Do you feel more powerful now?" He was persisting, this had been playing on his mind since the night it happened - they both knew that they'd both come out more powerful, but this was the first time they'd openly acknowledged it. 

A sigh escaped Andal's lips and she momentarily looked down at her hands, "Yes." With that she looked back up to meet his gaze. Kylo noticed the way she looked at him, as if she were studying him, and he couldn't blame her since she had only seen his face once before that night.

"I do too." He could feel something stirring within her, an instinct to run, to get out of the situation that she didn't want to face. Truth be told he didn't want to face it either, but this connection was constantly nagging at him, he couldn't put it off any longer.

"What is this?" She had plucked up the courage to ask first, and Kylo could feel his mouth going dry.

"I don't know. But... it's something more than a mental connection." He pondered, speaking very slowly, calculating every word before he said it.

"Can we just leave it at that for now Ren?" She looked at him almost pleadingly, he could feel her fear - she was scared to stop ignoring whatever this connection was. But so was he.

"We can't keep ignoring it." He insisted.

"It's _late_ can we just ignore it until tomorrow?" She heaved a sigh, running a hand through her H/C hair.

The smallest smile crossed Kylo's lips and he looked down as he exhaled a short laugh, "You'll just say the same thing to me tomorrow."

"How do you know that?" She rolled her eyes. He noticed that these weren't like their usual fights where they'd wind up with their Lightsabers at each other's throats, this was more lighthearted. He hated to admit it but he was enjoying it.

"Because I share my head with you now." He raised an eyebrow and continued, "I'm meeting with the Supreme Leader tomorrow, I can ask him what this connection is-"

Before he could finish his sentence her hand had shot out and grabbed his own, pulling his focus to the desperation in her eyes, "No! Ren, _please_ don't tell Snoke. Whatever this is, it needs to stay between us."

Part of him wondered why she was so defensive about Snoke knowing, but equally he had seen her relationship with Palpatine and could understand why her trust would be misplaced. He was torn between his loyalty to the Supreme Leader and the ever-growing connection he had with his Grandfather's apprentice.

"I won't tell him." He finally agreed, and a look of relief crossed her face.

"Thank you. I know I'm putting you in a difficult position but I just think... I think this is something we need to handle together." There was sincerity in her tone, and he appreciated her concerns, he had the same ones. Truth be told if the Supreme Leader found out about their connection the chances are he'd either exploit it somehow, or remove one of them from the picture - he couldn't risk their power matching his own.

"I understand." He exhaled a short sigh and rose to his feet, feeling as though this conversation would go no further tonight, "I'm sorry for disturbing you." He didn't really know what else to say as he walked towards the blast doors, and on his way out he spotted the cloak he had gotten made for her thrown over a chair with the rest of her clothes.

He looked at it for a moment, a small smile crossing his lips - he had sensed for weeks how cold she always was walking around the base, and after how Meeko had tormented her he sympathised with her anger. The constant need to prove himself seemed like something she also struggled with, and he had felt the need to somehow show her that he understood.

"Ren." She grabbed his attention before he could leave, and he turned to face her once again, "Don't apologise. I'm grateful."

He responded with a small nod and left her alone, briskly walking back to his quarters to avoid the possibility of anyone seeing him.

When he re-entered his quarters he made a beeline for his bedroom - his quarters were much larger than Darth Andal's studio space, split into a kitchen and lounging area with his bedroom separated.

Kylo shed his t-shirt and discarded it onto the ground, practically falling onto his bed. He turned to glance at the time and groaned when he realised he'd usually be waking up in a mere few hours.

He lay on his back staring up at the ceiling, but sleep would not come to him. He couldn't shake the memory of Darth Andal's dream, and he knew it wasn't his business but it had sparked a streak of curiosity in him. The connection between them was growing by the day, and even though she was scared to find out who she was, he knew that deep down she felt the same curiosity he did.

An hour passed, and Kylo was still restless. He knew that there was no way he was getting anymore sleep before he had to get up, so he thought that perhaps he would take his morning meal in the Mess Hall since he usually avoided it so nobody would see him. But this early? Nobody would be around.

He climbed out of bed and moved to his dresser to pull out his armour and tunic. He left them on the bed and went to the refresher to brush his teeth and splash some water over his face, then using some to flatten his hair. He never knew why he bothered with his hair when it spent all day under the helmet, but this was just his daily ritual.

Heading back out to his bedroom he got dressed which was another ritual in itself. He had his undershirt, his armour, his tunic, and then his cowl on top. Once he was dressed he'd leave the bedroom and collect his gloves from the counter in his kitchen area, then finally by the blast doors that led out of his quarters there was a table on which he kept his helmet and Lightsaber.

Kylo glided down the halls, hoping that he was right and nobody would be in the Mess Hall at such an ungodly hour. He had never much enjoyed eating in such a social environment, but he knew part of it was that he didn't want people seeing him without his helmet.

When he entered the Mess he was greeted by blissful silence, and he was relieved, that was until his gaze trained on the one figure in the room, sat bolt upright at a table.

Hux looked at Kylo, the same amount of look of disdain on his face that Ren was feeling. At that point he thought it would be best just to turn around and leave, but he was summoned back.

"Ren."

He internally groaned, and spun back around to face Hux who hadn't moved a muscle from where he sat.

"What?" His mechanical voice responded.

"Join me. We need to discuss the mission to Jakku." He nodded to the seat opposite him and Kylo begrudgingly agreed.

On his way over he swiped a fruit pot from the droids that were at the serving station and sat opposite Hux, who just looked at him expectantly. Exhaling another huff he reached up and unlatched his helmet, removing it and placing it on the table beside him.

Hux had seen his face plenty of times, but Kylo always sensed that the General was much more content to disrespect him without a helmet on. 

"You'll be leading the ground team on Jakku." Hux stated, and he rolled his eyes in response.

"That isn't news to me General, why not tell me something useful or stop wasting my time."

A frustrated sigh left Hux's mouth, "It's a bit early for your attitude Ren, can we perhaps just have an adult conversation?"

He remained silent and just gave a stiff nod - he really wished he had left whilst he still could.

"You're leading the ground team with Captain Phasma and the FN division. I suggest taking Darth Andal incase you require back up, after Pillio-"

"No." He interrupted, "She stays here."

"You may dislike her, but need I remind you that she saved your life?" He raised an eyebrow, but little did Hux know that it had nothing to do with disliking Darth Andal.

After spending time in her quarters just a few hours ago, he was still feeling that electric buzz that had been between them. It unnerved him, they had spoken about weaknesses and he was worried that she was becoming one for him. He wouldn't allow himself to be distracted, and the best solution was to keep her away from the mission.

"She's not going. We'll be fine."

Hux pinched the bridge of his nose - he did that when he was stressed, Kylo knew that because he constantly did it around him.

" _Fine._ I'm seeing her in a few hours to discuss the mission. I'll be sure to tell her that you're the reason why she's coordinating from base, rather than with the ground team."

Kylo's mouth went dry, Hux would definitely make his intentions sound worse than they were, "I'm sure you can find an excuse and leave me out of it." His tone remained as indifferent as ever.

"Why do you care? I've come to understand that you two don't get along." Little did the General know that he had been in her quarters comforting her not long ago.

"I was assuming that you wouldn't want us destroying more of the base when we inevitably get into a fight over it." Kylo almost smirked, knowing that this would corner Hux.

He exhaled a sigh, "Fine."

Kylo didn't fully trust Hux's word, but it was the best he could do in the situation. As a handful of Stormtroopers entered for their morning meal, he pushed his half eaten fruit pot aside and quickly replaced his helmet before anyone could see his face.

Apparently Hux also didn't appreciate having company in the Mess Hall, so he rose to his feet as Kylo did the same. They exited the blast doors together, and Hux turned to him, "I'll see you before you depart for Jakku."

Ren said nothing, he simply grunted and turned on his heel to walk away from Hux - he knew the man would do anything to gain the Supreme Leader's favour over him, and that's where his hatred for the General came from.

He wondered if he had made the right decision telling Hux to bench Darth Andal from the ground team, but he couldn't risk being distracted. This mission was everything he had worked for since the night his Uncle had betrayed him.

Darth Andal told him she had been a weakness for his Grandfather... perhaps Kylo Ren truly was following in Vader's footsteps, and he didn't know how to stop it. Even worse, he didn't know if he wanted to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The relationship is progressing but we are not done with this slow burn train just yet...


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finding out she isn't on the ground team for the Jakku mission Darth Andal wants somebody to blame, and Kylo Ren is the ideal candidate.
> 
> However, when the mission doesn't entirely go his way she worries that his anger will have an impact on them both - it's time to have the conversation they had both been avoiding.

Had last night been a crazy fever dream, or had Kylo Ren really come to comfort her after that dream, or vision, or _whatever_ it was.

She rolled out of bed a few hours after he had left, she had thankfully managed to get a few hours of peaceful sleep. Plodding to the refresher she brushed through her hair to tame her bedhead and quickly brushed her teeth - she had overslept slightly, so had to skip breakfast in order to not be late for her meeting with Hux.

Today he was briefing her on the Jakku mission, and she was excited to see some action when it didn't involve disobeying orders and hijacking the Knights of Ren.

She changed out of the loose shirt and shorts she slept in and pulled on her trousers, top and boots. Finally she draped the cloak Kylo had given her over her shoulders and fastened it in the centre of her chest. The fur was so soft, and it made her look nothing short of regal, it was light enough that she could still easily move but it kept her warm. Now with it on she also realised it had a fur lined hood attached to the back.

She fastened her Lightsaber to her belt and left her quarters to meet the General in High Command. The cape flowed behind her as she walked and it felt good to finally not have constant goosebumps on her skin.

"Commander Andal, you certainly look... _warm._ " General Hux eyed up her up and down, looking rather impressed at her new appearance.

"Believe me, I am." She responded, a wide grin on her face, "I'm also ready to see some action, where am I posted for the Jakku mission?" She added, prompting him to begin the briefing. 

Perhaps she would be leading the ground team alongside Kylo, or at least part of the forces. Maybe she'd be working alongside Captain Phasma dispatching the FN division or maybe-

"You'll be coordinating from base, with me." Hux interrupted her thoughts, with news that she didn't want to hear.

"Is that some kind of joke?" She snapped, before quickly regaining her composure, "I just mean, after Pillio I thought I'd proven how useful I am in combat!" She didn't like the feeling of being sidelined, and considering how much her and Hux had discussed Jakku since they had extracted the info from Meeko, she had been expecting to be at the forefront of this mission.

"I'm sorry Commander, but there's nothing I can do." He gave a small shrug of his shoulders.

"You're the General, there absolutely is something you can do." She rolled her eyes, not willing to let this go so easily.

"I'm afraid I can't this time, it wasn't my choice to leave you off the ground team."

"Then whose choice was it?" She pressed.

"I'm not at liberty to say." He went rather quiet, and just by his body language she knew exactly who it was - nobody else instilled fear in people quite like Kylo Ren.

"It was Ren, wasn't it."

"Did you just read my mind?" He looked concerned that he hadn't felt anything in his brain, and a little bit offended.

"No, and now I clearly don't need to." She raised an eyebrow and Hux looked like he was kicking himself for accidentally confirming her suspicions.

She turned on her heel, evidently to go and hash it out with Kylo. Hux exhaled a long sigh and called after her, "Darth Andal, _please_ try not to destroy the base... And I'll see you back here when the mission launches."

"Yes boss." She rolled her eyes, sarcasm dripping from her tone but Hux let it slide. He didn't want to anger her any more at this point.

It was early in the day still and with the mission looming she knew Kylo would be in the training centre preparing himself - because that's exactly what she would be doing if she was actually on the ground team.

She stormed past the various training sessions taking place and marched right up to the blast door which separated their private training room from the main area.

A Stormtrooper stood guard outside and stepped in her way to prevent her entering.

"Commander Ren told me that he didn't want anybody disturbing him."

Andal used the Force to push the trooper aside (gently, since he was just doing his job) and walked past him, "I'm not anybody."

She knew he had sensed her coming, but it didn't look like he had prepared himself for her arrival. Kylo was without his helmet and was wearing his undershirt - the rest of his tunic was discarded on the floor. He clutched his Lightsaber and looked at Andal curiously as she entered the room.

It was harder to be angry at him when he looked frustratingly handsome, but that wasn't going to stop her from giving him a piece of her mind.

"What are you doing here?" He turned, running his hand through his hair.

"Not preparing for the Jakku mission." She folded her arms, speaking in a very pointed tone.

He let out a frustrated groan, "I should never have trusted Hux to keep his mouth shut."

"I thought after last night-" Andal paused, was she turning it into something it wasn't? No, she was right, there was no reason for Ren to bench her from the mission. "-I thought that we were past this whole hating each other thing. I know I'm not your favourite person Ren but I _proved_ myself on Pillio and to purposely leave off the Jakku mission is just pathetic and-"

"It's not because I hate you." He interrupted, suddenly unable to look her in the eye.

"Then what is it? Because I can't keep on like this where one minute I think we're getting somewhere, and the next you go back to pissing me off." She was exasperated, Kylo's behaviour just confused her more and more by the day.

He reminded her of Master Vader. Whenever something had bothered him he would never tell her about it, she would just have to read the signs for herself. Kylo so desperately wanted to be like his Grandfather, and he was definitely on the right track.

Kylo said nothing, he walked over and began redressing in his tunic. Meanwhile, Darth Andal stood blocking his exit.

"I can't discuss this right now." He still refused to look at her, which just frustrated her further. Then he slid that infernal helmet over his head and tried to walk past her to reach the blast doors, at which point she grabbed his arm in a strong grip to stop him going any further.

"Go on your mission Ren. But don't go behind my back again, you don't decide which missions and I can and can't handle." She hissed, before letting him leave.

Once she was alone in the room she exhaled a shaky sigh. Kylo was hiding his motives from her, that much was obvious but she couldn't fill in the gaps - what reason could he possibly have for excluding her from the mission?

For now she had to expel that thought from her mind, despite the fact that she wasn't boarding a ship bound for Jakku right now she still had a job to do.

Taking a deep breath and composing herself, she left the training room and went back to meet Hux on the Bridge. Kylo Ren sure as hell wasn't going to distract her, she'd been trained better than that.

><><><><><><><><><

"We have the Resistance pilot, but the map is not with him." Captain Phasma's voice spoke over the comms.

Both Andal and Hux exchanged a glance at this, and she spoke first, "Send a Squadron to search, wherever he's hidden it can't be far."

"I agree, if he's given it to somebody else then we need to start covering ground immediately." Hux gave her a small nod.

"No, we've wasted too much time already. We're bringing the pilot back and we can take the information from him." Ren's mechanical voice chimed in.

She could feel his rage bubbling, Kylo was so angry that he'd lost the map to the Resistance that he was making rash decisions. They could easily be missing something on Jakku.

"Ren I know you're stressed but what if we're missing something on Jakku?" She tried to be rational and keep herself calm in the hope that it transferred over to Kylo somehow.

"We're coming back, that's final." With that he shut the comm link off, leaving Hux and Andal to simultaneously groan.

"Do you get taught to be that irresponsible in Sith training or was Ren born like that?"

Andal let out a short laugh, "Believe me that's all Ren."

Hux pinched the bridge of his nose, "That doesn't surprise me. I need to prepare interrogation room one for the pilot."

"You go, I can meet them in the Hanger when they land and send the prisoner over." Andal nodded, and they both left the Bridge, heading in separate directions.

She needed to talk to Ren, even though she still wasn't at all happy that he had left her off the ground team she knew that his personal feelings were on the brink of compromising the mission. He wasn't thinking straight.

Once they had the location of the map things would be quickly put into motion, and she wanted to be sure that Ren wasn't going to fly off the rails, because if he did the chances were he'd drag her with him. In order for her to keep her head straight, Kylo had to keep his straight.

She stood waiting for the ship to land, and when the Hanger doors opened the frosty air rushed through the room but she was well protected by her cloak. Her hair was billowing in the wind, but she stood straight with her hands clasped behind her back as the ship landed.

Two Stormtroopers were first to exit, each holding an arm of who she assumed was the Resistance Pilot. He had dark curly hair, tanned skin and was it inappropriate to think that he was hot?

"Take him to interrogation one, General Hux is waiting." The two Troopers nodded and dragged the man away.

_I'm sure you'll find him less attractive when he's dead._

Of course of all the things he'd hear it would be that. Just as she heard his voice he walked down the ramp alongside Captain Phasma, the rest of the Stormtroopers following.

_Jealousy is ugly Ren._

"Hux is beginning interrogations, if he doesn't succeed myself or Ren will take over." Andal spoke as the they both approached her.

" _I_ will take over." He snapped, and she rolled her eyes, before turning to him and giving him a pointed look.

"Listen you and I need to talk, before debrief." She quietly him, and they all fell silent after that - Phasma clearly trying to find a way to leave the conversation.

Her gaze turned to a single Stormtrooper who was left loitering onboard the ship with his helmet removed. "Excuse me." She said, turning to no doubt go and discipline him.

Once she was out of earshot, Kylo jabbed a gloved finger in Andal's face, "I am _not_ jealous."

She raised an eyebrow, "You really think that's why I pulled you over here? To reassure you that you're better looking than a kriffing Resistance pilot?" She smacked his hand away and he huffed in response.

"Then what?" They began walking slowly out of the Hanger side by side.

"I know that this is personal for you, but I need you to stay focused. If you let your anger keep getting in the way we're never going to find Luke-" Before she could finish he grabbed her arm and dragged her into a small meeting room they were passing.

When the doors shut behind them Darth Andal stood and looked at him expectantly with her arms folded.

"Do _not_ say that name." He hissed, "My personal feelings are none of your business."

" _Maker_ Ren, we can't keep going round in circles like this. Your personal feelings are my business, not by choice. The same way my feelings are now your business." She ran a frustrated hand through her hair, "If you can't focus neither can I."

"I am focused." He didn't move, and she could feel his aggravation.

"Why are you bothering to lie to me?" She exhaled an exasperated sigh.

In one swift movement he pulled off his cowl, followed by his helmet which with a roar he threw against the wall leaving it to clatter against the ground.

"I don't know what to do anymore." He ran his hands over his face, "I _will_ kill the last Jedi, and you won't stand in my way."

She was slightly hurt by his words, and was unable to hide it. This confrontation had been bubbling for a long time, so now was the time to get everything off her chest.

"You're blaming me for your failures now? I don't understand you Ren, one minute you're in my quarters comforting me and the second I start to change my opinion of you you go back to being an asshole!" Andal started pacing back and forth and she spoke, "Like today when you benched me from the mission - if I had been there maybe we would have gotten the map!"

"This isn't your fight." He hissed, but there was something he wasn't admitting to her, and he was trying desperately to keep it hidden.

"Like hell it isn't. This was my fight before you were even born, so stop lying to me and making excuses." She was almost yelling now, but she quickly recomposed herself. "We never spoke about what this connection is, but we keep thinking of it as hinderance. Ren, if we worked together instead of constantly sabotaging each other we could be more powerful than any Jedi."

Kylo was clearly conflicted, and there was some kind of insecurity holding him back. Andal walked up to him and stood face to face with him, "Look at me Ren." She softly said, and when his brown eyes met hers she could see a vulnerability in them.

"You need to tell me what's holding you back. We teach the Troopers that they're only as strong as their weakest link - and now that applies to us too, even if though we didn't ask for it." She was calm, but still equally frustrated.

They were both going to fail if Kylo couldn't get it together, and if they failed the Supreme Leader would be looking for someone to blame. Something told her his apprentice wouldn't be the one to take the fall.

"It's you." He finally admitted, "I want to keep you away from this." He spoke quietly, clearly unsure of himself.

"But why? I don't need your protection, and if it isn't because you hate me what is it?"

He hesitated, clearly uncomfortable but this conversation was long overdue. "I'm concerned about... this." He gestured between the two of them, "I can't be distracted."

She knew there was this electric buzz between them in the force, constantly drawing them towards one another but to have him so quickly dismiss her as a distraction was basically a slap in the face.

"You know, Emperor Palpatine used to call me a distraction to your Grandfather. Now you're here calling me the same thing... Did it ever occur to you that I'm worth more than that? I'm fed up of being second best to everyone - I'm just as powerful as you, and yet I'm the one being sidelined incase I distract the mighty Kylo Ren. I'm sick of it." She vented, throwing her arms into the air to illustrate her point.

"You're right." He eventually admitted, causing a look of confusion to cross her face. She certainly hadn't expected him to agree with her.

"I am?" She looked at him cautiously, as if expecting this to be some kind of joke.

"Yes." He begrudgingly admitted, "After I came to your quarters last night something felt different, and that concerned me. I removed you from the mission because I was thought you would be a weakness to me, just as you were to my Grandfather. But you make me more powerful, and I cannot ignore that."

Andal didn't want to read too far into what Kylo had just said, but 'something different' was a very ambiguous phrase to use and it must have been a significant feeling if it warranted him taking her off the ground team. Perhaps he cared for her more than she had thought... but she was quick to expel that idea from her mind - she didn't know much about processing 'feelings.'

"So now what? I'm just some accessory to your power?" She snorted.

"No, you're more than that." He sighed, and looked as if he wanted to reach out and touch her, but he refrained.

"I'm your equal, Kylo. This isn't the Palpatine's Empire anymore, and I'm done settling for less than what I'm worth. My Master is dead, and I intend to take his place." She felt more self assured than she had in as long as she could remember, and it felt _good._

He slowly nodded, and she could hear the thoughts swilling around in his mind. He admired her, and envied her to an extent. Not because she trained with Vader, but because she was so certain of herself - he felt a pull to the light that she didn't.

She couldn't help but feel sorry for him, although she had never experienced such conflict herself she couldn't imagine that it was easy, or by choice.

They had been stood staring at one another for longer than was socially acceptable, and eventually Kylo broke the silence.

"I'm going to interrogate the pilot." He spoke cooly as he retrieved his helmet from where he had thrown it.

She simply nodded, and watched him prepare himself to leave the room. Before he walked through the blast doors, he turned to face her.

_Aren't you coming?_

At that comment, a grin broke out on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stan Darth Andal being a bad bitch who knows exactly what she's doing


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the Resistance pilot escapes with a defective Stormtrooper, it becomes a long night shift for members of High Command and when Darth Andal finally does get some time to herself, she's plagued by mysterious visions.

"If you had just _listened_ to myself and Commander Andal then we wouldn't be in this position now Ren, would we." Hux and Kylo were stood on the Bridge and had been locked in argument for a good ten minutes.

Upon invading the mind of the Resistance pilot, Ren and Andal had discovered that he had hidden the map with his droid, a BB unit which was presumably still roaming the sands of Jakku somewhere.

Yes, Darth Andal knew she had been right to suggest leaving troops on Jakku to search the area, but she wasn't currently pinning all the blame on Kylo in order to wind him up like Hux was. After their previous conversation she thought it best to keep her thoughts to herself on this occasion.

"And without me bringing the pilot back here we wouldn't know what we're looking for." Ren growled.

It had been going in circles like this for too long, eventually Andal stepped in between the two men. Their bickering was infuriating, was this how other people had felt when her and Kylo would disagree over the most minor things?

She stood between them and interrupted their bickering, "You're both wasting time right now. The pilot's given us the location of the Resistance base surely we should be making our way there now."

"No, we need to cut off their allies - it is time to destroy the New Republic, then we can deal with the Resistance." Hux sounded very sure of himself, and there was certainly logic to that plan.

"Our priority is the map." Kylo hissed, "I'm not letting them get to Skywalker first."

Darth Andal sighed, "Then it's time to find a compromise. Commander Ren why don't you keep tabs on the map, and when we get word of its location you can take a squadron and move on that. General you may as well start preparing the base to fire on the New Republic - that way everybody wins." She shrugged.

"And you?" Hux asked.

"I'm going to dispose of the pilot." With that, she turned and marched out of the room, leaving Hux and Ren to exchange a glance.

"Do we work for her now?" The General quietly asked.

"Looks like it." Ren replied, before they also parted ways.

She swiftly made her way back to the interrogation rooms with her Lightsaber ready to be powered up. When the doors to the pilot's room flew open and she was horrified to find the chair empty.

_Ren._

She immediately reached out to Kylo, hoping that he had simply had the prisoner moved to a different room.

_What? You're stressed._

_You're damn right I'm stressed. Did you have the pilot moved?_

_No, why would I have done that?_

Andal ran an exasperated hand over her face, now they had a problem.

_He's gone... lockdown the base and alert Hux, I'll start searching._

Kylo said nothing else, but within moments there were alarms blaring throughout the base and Darth Andal was quick to move.

If the pilot was going to escape the only choices were stealing a ship from the hanger or an escape pod. The former was a bustling hub of activity, so it would have been near impossible for him to steal a ship without help therefore the latter was the most logical option.

She hurried towards the escape pods - despite being there within a minute, there were no signs of activity and all of the pods were still there.

At that moment the comms device on her wrist activated and General Hux's voice rang through, "There is an unscheduled takeoff from the Hanger, all available operatives converge, I repeat _someone_ get to the Hanger."

"I'm en route!" She called back over the comms and immediately took off running in the direction of the Hanger.

The blast doors flew open and she ground to a halt just in time to see Stormtroopers picking themselves up off the floor. The place was a mess, there were fires that needed putting out and clear evidence of blaster fire judging by the scorch marks on the ground.

The pilot was gone.

" _Kriff!_ " Andal loudly exclaimed, frustrated enough to throw her fist into the wall, which definitely hurt but aided in taking out her anger.

"We're too late, he's stolen a TIE." She informed over the comms.

Turning her head she beckoned a nearby Stormtrooper, "What happened? There had best be a good explanation for an injured Resistance pilot outmatching all of you and making off with a ship."

"He had help Commander, one of our own was escorting him and escaped with him." He quickly spat out, as if he were pleading for his life.

Boy had she slammed her fist into the wall too early...

"General, the prisoner was assisted by a Stormtrooper in escaping, we need a roundup of numbers asap." She spoke over the comms.

"I'll have Captain Phasma find out who's missing, scramble a squad to follow them." Hux's voice rang out in response.

"Got it." Darth Andal looked up and saw the gabble of Stormtroopers who had attempted to stop the escape looking at her for orders.

"Get after them, they'll be heading back to Jakku - that pilot will want his droid." She ordered, and they wasted no time in obeying, running to the nearest TIE Fighters to begin their pursuit.

She paused for a moment and looked down at her knuckle which was now spotted with blood and beginning to bruise, but that didn't really bother her.

The night shift was approaching on base, but something told her those of them in High Command wouldn't be getting sleep anytime soon.

With this in mind she marched back to the Bridge, where she spent the following few hours waiting for an update with Hux.

"We had a direct hit on the fugitives Sir, but there are no bodies with the remains of the ship." A voice finally rang out, and both Andal and Hux let out a frustrated groan.

"Keep searching, they can't have gone far." Hux responded.

"And find that damn droid." Andal added before they shut off the comms.

"This could be a long night." The General sighed, and she nodded in agreement.

Another long hour passed, and by the time Captain Phasma entered looking for the General and Commander she found them sat in the conference room locked in an intense game of slapsies.

"You're cheating." Hux snapped.

"I'm not _,_ you're just slow." Andal laughed.

The two sat in chairs facing one another, their hands were hovering in between them and every now and then she would swiftly deliver a slap to Hux's hands before he could move them.

Phasma stood by the door, stunned at the scene before her and when she cleared her throat the game instantly halted, Hux jumping to his feet.

"I'm sorry for interrupting... whatever this is, but the rogue Stormtrooper is FN-2187."

"No update on tracking him and the pilot down yet?" Andal asked from her seat, the fatigue in her eyes obvious.

"Not yet." The Captain removed her helmet and gazed at her friend, "Perhaps you should both get some rest, I can takeover here."

Andal and Hux exchanged a glance, they were clearly both exhausted but there was that looming thought that the second they allowed themselves to relax they would hear an update.

"A few hours at most." Hux finally conceded.

"Fine, but call if anything happens." She agreed, and rose to her feet to walk out alongside Hux.

Before they parted ways as they left the Bridge, Hux turned to her, "Have you heard from Ren since they escaped?"

"No, I haven't." Her words trailed off, she wondered what he had been doing. She could have easily found out but her mind had been too focused on the task at hand.

"Perhaps if you see him you can bring him up to speed." He asked, and she nodded in response.

"Have a good rest Hux, something tells me we'll need it." She offered him a small smile, which he surprisingly returned and from there they bid each other goodnight.

She was so relieved to see her quarters, and even more relieved when she entered and saw that the cleaning droids had been in and replaced her furniture to its rightful place.

She swiftly shed her clothes and dipped into the 'fresher to shower and change into her night clothes before climbing into bed, not caring that her hair was still wet.

It was late, so there would only be a few hours before she was due to wake up again but luckily she drifted off only moments after her head hit the pillow.

"Find me." A voice quietly called.

"You're so close, find me." Louder this time the male voice called to her.

"It's Ben, you must find Ben."

Hazy images flashed before her mind: burning molten fire, followed by sandy dunes - she couldn't make any sense of it.

"Keep looking my Apprentice, you'll find your path." A different voice spoke this time. Words from her Master but that wasn't his voice, it sounded like a younger man.

Andal awoke with a jolt, with a glance at her nightstand she realised she had only been asleep for an hour but apparently now she wasn't able to sleep without being plagued by these visions.

It felt as if somebody was trying desperately to reach her, and the more powerful she became the stronger this pull felt.

As if on cue her doors opened to reveal Kylo Ren, once again looking as though he had just rolled out of bed.

"We have to stop meeting like this." She joked, trying to break the ice.

"Have you heard that name before?" Was all he asked, still not stepping inside.

"No." She shook her head, beckoning him inside and leaning over to switch her lamp on.

This time round Kylo was less sheepish, he immediately sat on the edge of her bed and she shifted over to allow him space.

"You know who Ben is, don't you." She could sense it stirring within him.

"Before I was Kylo Ren-" He looked as if his mouth had gone dry, and the words didn't want to come out of his mouth, "-I was Ben Solo."

"Solo..." She quietly pondered for a moment, where did she know that name?

Then is clicked, "Han Solo." She slowly nodded in recognition, it made sense that Leia had ended up with him.

"You knew him?" He asked.

"I only met him a few times, but I remember when Master Vader and I handed him over to a Bounty Hunter in Cloud City... that was a long day." She recalled.

He nodded in acknowledgement, clearly not having anything else to say on the matter of his Father. She could sense his bitterness towards him.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Andal's mind drifting back to Master Vader telling her to 'trust in the Force' before putting her in the freezing chamber, and this whole time the Force had been pulling her towards Kylo Ren.

"So, I need to find you..." She quietly concluded, and he turned to face her, both of them sitting crosslegged on the bed.

"Ben Solo is dead." He shook his head.

She looked him dead in the eyes and repeated Vader's words, "We need to trust in the Force. Ben Solo may be dead, but maybe Kylo Ren is the key."

"The key to what?" He looked confused, at which point she realised he had no idea what she was talking about.

"The Empire was falling, and before Master Vader put me in the freezing chamber he told me that 'my destiny was elsewhere.'" She shrugged.

It was strange how these late night interactions had become so casual. They had come a long way from drawing their Lightsabers on one another at the most minor inconveniences. The stronger their connection in the Force grew the more they were subconsciously drawn to one another.

"Do you think this is where he intended for you to be?" Kylo almost looked hopeful... almost.

"I don't know." She answered honestly, "But this connection between us is getting stronger, and then there's the visions..." Her voice trailed off as she attempted to connect the dots, but she was struggling to pinpoint what about Kylo Ren was so important to her life.

"If you let me help lift the block on your mind we could find out." He calmly suggested.

For the first time that offer tempted her. Until now she had been so quick to discount it, but if he could live with Ben Solo, perhaps she could live with whoever she had been before Darth Andal.

"We could be more powerful than any Jedi, or Sith." He leaned forward slightly, a hand subconsciously resting on her knee.

"And what if I don't like what we find?" She quietly asked, "I'm stronger and more sure of myself than ever, I don't want to lose that."

"You'll never lose that." He quietly told her, and she could have sworn he was leaning closer to her.

It was there again, that inexplicable electric buzz in the Force - a magnetic sensation that just made her want to be close to him. She could only assume he was feeling it too.

Their faces were only inches apart, his breath tickling her lips, but neither of them had planned what to do next. They had to either close the gap and seriously complicate their relationship, or pull away and make their relationship seriously awkward.

They were quite literally save by the bell, as a loud tone rang out from Darth Andal's Holopad startling them both and swiftly separating them.

She leaned over to grab the Holopad, trying to ignore the tension in the air and how hot her face was suddenly feeling. The message had been sent by Phasma and had gone out to her, Ren and Hux.

"They've found the droid on Jakku, a team's in pursuit. The pilot isn't there." She read the contents of the message aloud for Kylo to hear, and thankfully that gave them a topic of conversation that would help them ignore the elephant in the room.

"We should go." He cleared his throat, but neither of them moved at first.

"Yeah..." She agreed, eventually being the one to break their stare and stand up from her spot on the bed.

He followed swiftly, making his way past her to the blast doors, "I'll see you on the Bridge." He told her before leaving.

Once he left she exhaled a long breath, that whole exchange made her feel uneasy, their relationship was becoming confusing. Whenever they spent time alone together the Force continued to draw them closer to one another, but neither of them knew how to handle that kind of intimacy. They both knew how to kill a person with a mere flick of their wrists, but this was something they weren't trained for.

She quickly dressed and opted to pull the hood of her cloak up as her hair still wasn't completely dry, and she looked utterly exhausted.

Leaving her quarters she saw Kylo, now fully dressed, a few steps up ahead of her, and quickened her pace to catch up. When she caught him they fell into stride, but neither of them said anything. She just thought it would have been even more awkward if they were a few steps away from each other.

When they walked onto the Bridge, Hux was already there with Phasma, looking just as sleep deprived as Andal did, but he had something balled up in his arms and only when they approached did she realise it was a ginger cat.

Her eyes widened at the ball of fur cuddled into his arms, and she reached out to give the cat a scratch behind the ears, "I didn't know we were allowed pets." She teased, rather enamoured with the cat.

"Millicent is an exception." He looked extremely protective of his pet, but was happy to allow Andal to continue fussing over her.

"She's cute." She grinned, a small purr coming from the ball of fluff.

In her head she heard Kylo grumbling to himself about how much he hated the beast, and she rolled her eyes.

"What's the status of the Jakku team?" Ren suddenly drew the attention of her and Hux.

"TIE Fighters are in pursuit." Captain Phasma spoke up, and Kylo's fists clenched.

"I should be there." He huffed. Andal knew he was an exceptional pilot ever since she had flown them off Pillio using his skills.

"It'd be no use Ren, by the time you get to the planet's surface it'll be too late." Hux responded.

"So you dragged us here for what? Just to sit and pet that incessant beast." He angrily gestured towards Millicent, and Hux looked extremely offended at that comment.

"What's the problem Ren? Did you have something better to do?" The General snapped, gently patting Millicent's head as if to comfort her.

"Maybe I did." He hissed, and Andal swore her heart skipped a beat. Was he really talking about her? Or was he just saying that to wind Hux up?

She wiped the shocked expression off her face before anyone could notice it and went back to fussing Millicent to distract herself.

"Hm, I'm sure that's true." Hux sarcastically replied, and Kylo looked like he was about to prove him entirely wrong but she certainly didn't want him to invite any questions from either Phasma or Hux.

"So now what? We wait for an update?" She interjected, wanting to change the subject as quickly as possible.

Phasma was without her helmet, and Andal could see her giving an uneasy glance her way - she knew something was up but chose to ignore it for now, "We're expecting to secure the target any minute."

It was long into the night shift and the rest of the base was still asleep. The four of them rarely interacted outside of High Command meetings, and now thrown together waiting for an update from Jakku things were eerily silent.

Andal sat with Hux on the floor, Millicent moving between them to receive attention. Phasma stood overlooking the dark landscape of Starkiller, and Kylo had his arms folded. Despite having the mask on she knew his gaze was fixed on her and Hux.

"How's your hand?" Kylo finally spoke up, clearly addressing the question to her. Having broken the silence all eyes turned to him, and Andal honestly wanted the ground to swallow her up - he had to ask her out loud didn't he.

"It's fine." She shrugged it off, despite the fact that a dark bruising covered it from where she had punched the wall not long ago. She didn't need to ask how he had known, of course he had felt the impact of it himself but that didn't explain it to Hux and Phasma who both looked confused.

"What happened to your hand?" Hux asked as Millicent left his side to return to Andal for some love.

"Oh nothing really, Ren and I were training earlier and things got a bit out of hand." That seemed like the easiest way to explain how Kylo could know that she had injured herself. It definitely wasn't out of the ordinary for them to spar with one another and get too violent.

Hux looked accepting of this answer, but out of the corner of her eye she could see Phasma looking skeptical - but she chose not to say anything at that moment.

_Liar._

His voice in her head caused her roll her eyes, keeping her focus on Millicent.

_Okay Ren how do you intend to explain that you know I punched a wall without being there?_

_I don't know, but they know we haven't trained in days._

_It still sounds better than 'oh funny story, I got angry and punched a wall and Ren felt it across base because we kinda share our minds now.' Besides, you were the one who asked._

_I was making conversation..._

_And you did excellently._

In a way it was nice to know that the awkwardness between them was dissipating, but they were right back to their usual bickering. There was no in between, it was either arguing or having deep conversations. 

"Someone's coming." Andal and Kylo said in unison, having sensed a presence in the Force. They glanced at one another when they heard each other's voices but all of their attention was soon focused on the door.

Hux and Andal both rose to their feet, much to Millicent's dismay, and when the blast doors opened the poor officer who had been sent with news looked terrified at the sight of the Captain, two Commanders and General.

"What news?" Hux asked, having bundled Millicent back into his arms.

"The droid escaped capture aboard a stolen Corellian YT model freighter."

"The droid... stole a freighter?" Andal raised an eyebrow, definitely not believing this news for one moment.

"Not exactly... It had help." The officer was nervously sweating now, "We have no confirmation but we believe FN-2187 may have helped in the escape-" The officer was practically shaking in his boots, and as soon as the words left his mouth Kylo's Saber was lit and slashing the computer he stood next to.

" _Ren!_ " Hux barked, clearly seething.

All fell silent as Kylo extinguished his Lightsaber, and turned to face the officer, "Anything else?"

"The two were accompanied by a girl-" Before he could finish his body was violently pulled into the grip of Kylo's leather glove.

"What girl?"


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the First Order closes in on the location of the droid things begin to heat up around Starkiller Base, and between the two Force-users.

General Hux, Kylo Ren and Darth Andal stood before the hologram of Supreme Leader Snoke, each of their postures were poised as he spoke.

Not even an hour ago the First Order had received a transmission from a group of smugglers who knew the location of the droid. Within minutes the three of them had been summoned by the Supreme Leader to discuss the contents of said transmission. 

The three of them were lacking sleep, but they had a job to do so sleep had to come second to that. Besides, it was nothing a bit of caffeine couldn't temporarily fix.

"The droid will soon be delivered to the Resistance, leading them to the last Jedi. If Luke Skywalker returns, the new Jedi will rise."

Andal felt Kylo's frustration rising, but he was trying not to show it to give Hux and Snoke the satisfaction of watching him crumble. She wanted to say something to reassure him, but equally she didn't want to risk Snoke learning of their connection - that was what currently unnerved her the most.

"Supreme Leader, I take full responsibility for the-" Hux was quickly cut off by Snoke's booming voice.

" _General!_ Our strategy must now change."

Hux's expression turned sour, but he was quick to respond, "The weapon, it's ready. I believe the time has come to use it-"

Andal listened to Hux explain his plan to destroy the New Republic and cut the Resistance off by using the power of Starkiller Base. Snoke considered this for a moment, before speaking again.

"Go, oversee preparations."

"Yes, Supreme Leader." Hux held his head high as he left the dark room, pleased with the approval he had received.

Darth Andal wished she could be leaving with him. The Supreme Leader made her nervous, not only because of the danger of him finding out about her connection with his apprentice, but also because he was just another Palpatine. If for some reason he decided to take a disliking to her in the same way the Emperor had things could go south very quickly.

"There has been an awakening, have you both felt it?"

Andal knew she had felt a shift in the Force, and she could only assume Kylo had felt it too. But until now they hadn't discussed it.

"Yes." They both spoke in unison.

"There's something more..." The hologram pointed his gaze towards his apprentice, "The droid we seek is aboard the Millennium Falcon. In the hands of your father, Han Solo."

To anyone else Kylo would appear unfazed by this news, but she knew he was surprised no matter how badly he tried to hide it. Truth be told she was too, it had been a long time she had seen Solo.

"He means nothing to me." She felt a tug at her heartstrings, which came from Kylo - he was lying, but if the Supreme Leader knew he didn't let on.

"Even you, Master of the Knights of Ren, have never faced such a test. I suggest employing Darth Andal's assistance in retrieving the droid." At this point Snoke turned his attention to her, "I sense you will be seeing some familiar faces very soon." There was a sadistic undertone to his words, but she chose to ignore it.

"By the grace of your training I will not be seduced." Kylo spoke, sounding very sure of himself.

"I won't disappoint you, Supreme Leader." Andal followed.

"We shall see." The hologram pondered, before disappearing in the blink of an eye which plunged the two of them into darkness.

They silently made their way to the blast doors to exit, but before Kylo could storm off and destroy part of the base she grabbed his arm to stop him, turning to the Stormtrooper on guard.

"Leave." She told him, and he quickly scurried off.

"What now?" She asked him, and as he relaxed she released his arm.

"We find the droid, kill the traitor, kill the girl, kill Han Solo and finally destroy the Jedi once and for all." He sounded definitive in that answer, and Andal exhaled a sigh.

"And it'll be that easy will it?" She raised an eyebrow, knowing that if she let Kylo go now he was going to simmer in his own rage until it blew out of control.

She kept telling herself that she was doing it to protect herself from his emotions, but deep down she knew she was also doing it because she didn't want Kylo to fail.

"I'll make it that easy." He hissed, "Don't doubt me."

"I don't." She snapped, "I'm trying to help you."

"I don't need your help." He growled, the voice modulator in his mask making him sound much more intimidating, but it didn't phase her.

"But you've got it." She knew they were one bad move away from reverting back to their old ways of drawing their Lightsabers on each other.

"Fine." He turned on his heel and began to march off, "We're going to train."

She was surprised by this, but not opposed to it - she had been dying for a good training challenge in a long time. Jogging to catch up with him, she walked alongside him to the training facility, everyone swiftly moving out of their way.

There were two types of training sessions: training to improve your skills, and training to let off steam - this was definitely the latter. Kylo reminded her more and more of Master Vader by the day, the stubborn attitude was uncanny. She also didn't need the Force connection to read Kylo's emotions, she was an expert when it came to gauging the moods of masked men.

When they entered the training facility she spotted Phasma and gave her a short nod before her and Kylo entered the room they always used at the back.

"Do not disturb us unless it's with news of the droid." He told the Stormtrooper posted outside, who nodded.

Once inside they each went to separate sides of the room. Andal removed her cloak and placed it neatly on the floor, Kylo doing the same with his cowl and helmet.

Neither of them had said anything still, but she could feel the energy in the air. They needed to let out the frustration building in the air in the only way they knew how.

They both approached each other, powering up their Sabers. For a while they circled one another, anticipating which of them would be first to pounce and eventually Kylo made his move.

He launched himself towards her with a flurry of unpredictable, strong strikes. She knew Kylo's technique was to push his opponent backwards with vicious and unorthodox movements - sometimes he'd fight dirty but it got the job done.

With both hands on her hilt she blocked each of his strikes with ease, her movements far more traditional and less rigid but that's where their fighting styles differed.

She parried one of his strikes, pushing him back a few steps and this time she went on the offensive with well planned and executed strikes.

Using two hands she struck his blade, but when he countered her she jumped back and switched to a grip with one hand as she spun and slashed at him.

They went on like this for a long time, until Kylo swung his blade horizontally and she bent backwards beneath it. When she stood back up he went to swing at the hand holding her weapon, but before he could she flicked it back behind her head and the blade did a 180 degree spin in the air, the hilt lining up perfectly to catch in her off-hand.

With the Saber now in reverse grip, she moved forward to kick the back of Ren's knees whilst he was still distracted by the Saber flourish, and as he buckled she wrapped an arm around his chest from behind and held her blade at his neck.

"You're finished." She whispered in his ear, breathless. This was the first time they had spoken since entering the room.

"Not yet." He was also panting, but just as quickly as the words left his mouth he used the Force to push her Lightsaber away from his neck, and it flew out of her grip.

As soon as the hilt left her hand he threw himself backwards, crushing her under his bodyweight, a groan of pain coming from her. Whilst she recovered from the impact of being hurled to the floor he flipped himself round and used his bodyweight to pin her to the ground, bringing his crackling Saber to her throat.

"You were saying?" He taunted her, a small smirk appearing on his lips. Maker she hated losing, and wasn't about to let Kylo have the satisfaction of winning.

With the limited movement of her hand she extended her wrist and summoned her hilt back to her hand, from there she had very few choices but she made the best of her situation and jabbed the emitter of her Saber into the side of his stomach since that was the only place she could reach.

"Wanna see what happens if I activate it?" She smirked right back at him, both of their faces illuminated by the red glow of Kylo's Saber.

"Like you ever would." He scoffed.

"Oh yeah, the same way you'd slice my throat right now." She challenged him, and at that comment he extinguished his blade with a grumpy huff, and she dropped her own hilt away from his stomach.

"Killing you would save me a headache at least." He made no attempt to move aside from moving to support his own weight a little more, and she was in no position to push him off.

"You really think it'd be that easy." She raised an eyebrow, "You couldn't kill me back when you actually wanted to."

"Who's to say I still don't want to?" He tested her, and suddenly she realised they were in the exact same position they had been the night before in her quarters.

That magnetism in the Force was drawing them closer to each other, and this time there was no saving them from the predicament of closing the gap or pulling away.

They looked at one another for a moment, Kylo's brown eyes looked as though they were searching hers and it reminded her of the first night she had seen them, when they had been meditating. It had been the night their connection had first surfaced.

He slowly dripped his head, his lips barely grazing hers, as if he was testing the waters. At this point she was done waiting for him.

"Stars Ren." She gave an exasperated sigh and wriggled her hand free to grab the back of his neck and pull his face down towards hers.

It was like fireworks. The second their lips met everything just felt _right,_ and she wondered why they had waited so long for this when they had been drawn towards one another for weeks.

Kylo tilted his head, deepening the embrace. For a man who had been swinging a deadly weapon at her moments ago, now he couldn't have been acting further from that. He was gentle, as if unsure of himself - she could tell he didn't make a habit of kissing women.

Andal slid her tongue past his lips, which he responded to with a quiet groan. The hand that wasn't holding himself above her moved to cup her cheek, his calloused thumb drawing small circles over her skin. Meanwhile one of her hands had tangled itself into his dark curls, the other rested just below his shoulder.

Their kiss was slowly becoming more heated as all of the passion and tension that had built up between them for so long was finally being released. She doubted they would have stopped had they not simultaneously felt the presence of Hux and Phasma approaching their training room.

Their eyes snapped open, and as they pulled apart neither of them needed to say anything. They scrambled to their feet and both ignited their Sabers just in time for the pair to enter.

"Having fun are we?" Hux raised an eyebrow, he took their laboured breathing and red faces to be results of vigorous training, of course he would never know how incorrect he was. But close quarters combat never really did suit the General, he hated anything so... involved.

"Actually we were just finishing." The pair exchanged a glance as Andal spoke, they were both just relieved Hux and Phasma hadn't walked in a few seconds sooner.

"Good, because we've heard news from one of our spies. The droid is on Takodana, I have a team leaving any minute to launch an assault." The General informed them.

"I'm going too." Kylo concluded, extinguishing his Saber and clipping it back to his belt. He moved over to replace his cowl and pull his helmet back over his head.

Her eyes followed him, "Then I may as well go with you." She agreed, retracting her own Saber and going to throw her cloak back around her shoulders.

"I need one of you here for the activation of the weapon." Hux chimed in, Ren and Andal turning to look at each other.

She desperately wanted to see action, but she knew that this fight was more personal for Kylo than it was for her. But equally she was more likely to keep her focus than he was in this scenario.

_You go._

She told him, and he was quick to announce that to Hux and Phasma. She knew there was no way Kylo was going to miss out on an opportunity to capture the droid.

"Ren they're leaving now, you had best hurry." Hux told him.

Kylo walked towards the exit, but before he left he turned to look at Andal, as if he wanted to say something but their audience was preventing him. In the end he chose to simply leave, she would see him again when he returned and they'd have to talk about what had just happened.

_I'll see you when I get back._

His voice echoed in her mind, and she had to fight a small smile from appearing on her lips.

_Try not to get shot this time._

She teased him, and she could practically feel him rolling his eyes.

"I need to oversee final preparations on the Bridge, can you both send out a message for all units to rally outside in one hour?" Despite it being a question, it was obvious that he wasn't asking. He was clearly nervous about finally powering up the weapon - what if it didn't work?

"Yes General." Phasma spoke for them both.

"I'll see you both there." He nodded, and left the pair of them to it.

Once they were alone, Andal walked towards Phasma and together they followed through the blast doors to head to the communications centre, "Well, this is definitely more fun than tracking down the droid on Takodana." Andal sighed.

"Then why did you let Ren go instead of you?" She knew what Phasma was doing. Her friend was suspicious of her relationship with Kylo, and obviously she was completely correct but Andal wasn't about to let her know that.

"Like I would have had a choice. He's been after that map since before I was woken up." She sighed, brushing it off as not a big deal.

"A few weeks ago you two would have torn the base apart fighting over it, it seems like you've been getting on better recently." The pointed tone was obvious, but Andal continued to dodge the truth.

"We're learning to not fight over every minor detail, but that doesn't mean we like each other." They entered the communication centre which thankfully meant Phasma had no chance to reply without others overhearing their conversation.

There was a base-wide PA system which Andal activated, allowing Phasma to announce the impending ceremony.

They swiftly left after that, needing to help Hux with the preparations. In amongst the hustle Andal managed to get herself a cup of caf to help with the fatigue that she was still fighting.

Before long herself and Phasma were heading towards the rally point on the hacked planet's surface. This would have been Andal's first time leaving the interior of the base, and she was hoping the cloak Kylo gifted her would protect her from the cold long enough for Hux to make his speech.

She could sense Phasma wanted to say something, and despite knowing that she was about to open herself back up to questioning about her and Ren, she sighed and said "I know you want to ask me something, what is it?"

If Phasma looked taken aback by her intuition it was hidden by her chrome helmet, "On the Bridge you said you hurt your hand when you and Ren were training, but apart from today the two of you haven't trained together in a while."

She knew Phasma hadn't believed her, but was hoping it would never come up again. Andal paused for a moment, wondering how to respond. She decided that the truth with some details removed was the best option.

"When the pilot and FN-2187 escaped I was frustrated and punched a wall." She shrugged, "Ren saw me icing it just after."

"Why couldn't you have just told us that before?" Phasma was definitely halfway to believing her, but things still weren't entirely adding up.

"I wanted to avoid telling Hux that I had a Kylo Ren style temper tantrum."

"That makes sense." The Captain finally accepted her anecdote, and internally Andal was breathing a sigh of relief.

When the blast doors opened and they finally stepped onto the snowy landscape, the cold hit her instantly so she pulled her hood up over her head.

"I haven't been this cold since I was on Hoth." She huffed, trekking to the huge structure that had been built for Hux to deliver his speech.

"When was that?" Her friend asked, looking quite content in her armour - Andal was sure it was much warmer than her outfit.

"A lifetime ago now." She smiled fondly at the memories, she couldn't say she had entirely adjusted to the First Order yet, the Empire was still felt more like home to her.

They walked up the steps to take their places on the pedestal behind Hux and alongside various other High Command members. Looking out there was a sea of Stormtroopers as far as the eye could see.

Once everyone had gathered, General Hux stepped up to his podium.

"Today is the end of the Republic! The end of a regime that acquiesces to disorder. At this very moment, in a system far from here the New Republic _lies_ to the galaxy while secretly supporting the treachery of the loathsome Resistance. This fierce machine which you have built, upon which we stand, will bring an end to the Senate! To their cherished fleet! All remaining systems will bow to the First Order, and will remember this... as the last day of the Republic!"

Andal listened closely to every word, and she finally began to understand where the ethos of the First Order differed from the Empire she had served. The Empire had been the legitimate governing force in the galaxy, whilst the First Order were yet to achieve that position. Perhaps some of their methods and core values were similar, but she certainly noted that things seemed more extremist here than they had with the Empire.

Hux turned to the side, " _Fire!_ " He yelled, and she could sense his nervous energy, he wasn't 100% convinced the weapon would work.

Thankfully, the weapon powered up, and a huge beam of light shot across the landscape, all eyes following it. A monstrous explosion was heard in the distance, and it caused many people to recoil slightly - the sheer heat of the blast was enough for Darth Andal to remove her hood.

"How did I end up here?" She quietly muttered to herself, nobody able to hear over the sound of the blast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally got a damn kiss! ! !
> 
> But y'all know that doesn't mean they're about to live happily ever after, drama is on its way...
> 
> I wanna hear your theories about where this story is going/who Darth Andal really is, send your thoughts & theories to renfics.tumblr.com


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> General Organa discovers that Vader's apprentice is still alive and has to process that news.
> 
> Meanwhile Kylo Ren returns from his mission with a scavenger rather than a droid, and Darth Andal discovers some home truths from Supreme Leader Snoke.

With the New Republic having been desolated, Starkiller Base was racing towards the Resistance base on D'Qar, the location of which Kylo and Andal had extracted from the pilot's mind. The aim was to destroy the final branch of those who opposed the First Order.

She hadn't sensed much from Kylo since he had left, but part of her took that as a good thing - ideally that meant he wasn't either injured or letting his anger control him. But this was also the farthest away from each other they had ever been, so perhaps their connection simply didn't stretch that far.

Andal was craving sleep, but duty called and she was busy working alongside Hux for the impending destruction of the Resistance. At least if they were destroyed she could finally sleep.

Hours went by after Hux's address on the planet's surface, and Andal wound up sat in Hux's office with her boots up on the desk whilst he sat opposite her scrolling through his data-pad. Millicent had hopped up onto her lap and was softly purring as she slept curled up on her stomach. Andal wished she could have been the one sleeping.

"What do you make of this?" Hux asked, handing her the tablet. She gently leaned forwards, as not to disturb Millicent, and took the data-pad from him.

"FN-2187's evaluation?" She raised an eyebrow, scrolling through it and skim reading, "I don't understand, he showed no prior signs of insubordination." She mulled it over for a moment.

" _Exactly._ If we had one defection who is to say there won't be more?" Hux was clearly just as exhausted as she was, and it was causing his brain to short circuit. He was a man who constantly seemed to be functioning on caf and desperation - sleep definitely wasn't something he was used to.

"Hux don't you think you're just being a bit paranoid? This is one in thousands, and he'll be dead soon anyway." Andal stifled a yawn as she tried to reassure him, handing the data-pad back to him.

"Perhaps, but I think my concern is logical-"

"-Wait." Andal shot up, causing Millicent to jump off her lap.

"What?" Hux also sat upright, wondering what could have startled her so suddenly.

She could feel Kylo's presence in the Force, he was nearly back on base and there was something else... someone else.

"They're back, with a prisoner." She told Hux, who looked utterly confused.

"How do you know?"

She knew Hux was far from an expert on the Force, so she simply acted as if it were a regular thing, "I sense their presence." She shrugged.

"Oh, well we should go and meet them." Hux rose to his feet and she followed.

"Ren has a prisoner." She informed him, "I can prepare an interrogation room."

"Go." He nodded, and she did so.

><><><><><><><><><><

"General Organa. Sorry to interrupt, this is Finn, he needs to talk to you-" Poe began, pushing Finn to the front of the crowd.

Leia turned around from the conversation she had been invested in, her face softening when she laid eyes on the two men.

"And I need to talk to him," Leia took the young man's hands, "That was incredibly brave, what you did. Renoucing the First Order, saving this man's life." She glanced at Poe, who had a sloppy grin on his face.

When she heard news of Poe's capture she had been worried she'd never see him again, but now he and Finn were both stood before her, ready to fight for the cause.

He told her that he wanted to rescue his friend, the girl Han had mentioned to her not long ago, and Poe then added that Finn was familiar with the First Order's super-weapon. This was the chance she had been waiting for.

The destruction of the New Republic had been a huge blow, and her son's interrogation of Poe undoubtedly divulged the location of their base. It was now a race of who would destroy who first.

"You must tell us all you know." Leia urged him, and Finn nodded.

"Kylo Ren took Rey, him and Darth Andal will interrogate her." Finn began, but Leia quickly held her hand up to silence him.

"That name... Darth Andal." She trailed off, Han, having overheard, came to stand beside her and they exchanged a glance of disbelief.

"Poe mentioned a woman in his interrogation but I never thought-" Leia turned to Han, "-You don't think it's her do you?"

"Stranger things have happened..." Han considered for a moment, before turning to Finn, "The woman, what does she look like? How did she join the First Order?"

"Uh-" Finn thought for a moment, "I only saw her a few times during training sessions. She has H/C hair, E/C eyes, wore a lot of black... She kinda just appeared one day, but the rumours going round said she'd come out of Carbon Freezing."

His words immediately confirmed Leia's suspicions and she remained silent for a moment, shocked that Darth Andal was still alive.

"So she survived Endor." Han looked at Leia.

"Why would she have gone into Carbon Freezing though?" She asked, and Han shook his head.

"I doubt it would have been by choice, I know I wouldn't recommend it."

"So... She's a Sith Lord?" Poe looked uneasy, rightfully, "And you knew her."

"Darth Andal was the apprentice of Darth Vader." Leia gave a moment for that news to sink in, a few mutterings rising amongst the crowd, "Before that she-" Leia paused for moment, electing not to share the rest of the information before walking away, Han giving her a pointed look.

"Don't do that." She sharply told him.

"Do what?" He defensively responded.

"Anything."

He glanced at C-3PO who just raised his arm slightly and added, "Princesses..."

"I'm trying to be helpful." He followed after her as he protested, but Leia wasn't in the mood.

"When did that ever help? And don't say the Death Star."

" _Leia_." He gently grabbed her arm, forcing her to face him, "Listen to me will you? I know every time... every time you look at me, you're reminded of him."

"You think I want to forget him? I want him back." Her voice was full of emotion, and his expression became one of sympathy.

"There was nothing we could have done, there was too much Vader in him."

"And what about her?" Leia asked, "They can't both be lost, Han I refuse to believe it. I never should have sent Ben away, that's when I lost him. That's when I lost you both." She paused for a moment, mourning a happier time, "We can still save them both, I have to believe that."

"If Luke couldn't reach him- couldn't reach her, then how could we?" Han seemed deflated, he had been running from this for too long.

"You're Ben's father - there's still light in him, I know it." She pleaded with him. Every day she thought of her son, and she wanted nothing more than to have him back.

"And Darth Andal? We couldn't bring her back all those years ago, what makes you think we can do it now?"

"There's no Palpatine, no Vader, nobody to stop her from remembering who she was... give it time Han, give it time and Y/N will find her way home."

><><><><><><><><><><

"So let me get this straight..." Andal raised an eyebrow at Hux, "Ren was sent to bring back the droid, and he's brought back a scavenger?" She was confused, he was interrogating the girl now so she didn't want to disturb him and ask but she assumed he must have had a reason.

"I find it best not to question his methods when he's focused on something." Hux shrugged.

"That's probably for the best." She sighed.

Her and Hux went about preparing the weapon for a few moments longer, but a splitting headache caused her to stop and squeeze her eyes shut. There was someone in Kylo's head, in _her_ head and they were both desperately trying to expel them.

_You will never be as strong as Darth Vader._

Was all she heard before the presence was ripped from her head.

"Commander? Is everything alright?" Hux asked her, concerned painted across his face.

"I-I need to go." She told him, shakily making her way towards the blast doors, but as soon as she regained her footing she _ran_.

Without any prior warning she burst into the interrogation room, only to find the girl still strapped the chair but no Kylo.

"Where's Ren?" She cooly asked her. Andal studied the brunette woman, she looked uncomfortable, understandably, but she could tell that they were both studying one another, as if trying to piece together a puzzle.

"It was you - I saw you in his head..." She finally spoke, and Andal was taken aback - this girl was strong with the Force, she had to be to penetrate both hers and Kylo's mind.

"I asked you a question." Andal kept up her powerful demeanour, "Where did Ren go?"

"I don't know." The girl answered, and she was being honest - she clearly didn't have a grip on her power yet, she was untrained. "He stormed out."

_Did you feel it?_

His voice was suddenly in her head, and she took one look at the girl before leaving the room. Andal didn't want to risk having their mental connection invaded once again.

_Yes, she's powerful... Where are you?_

_Looking for you, the Supreme Leader has summoned us._

_He felt it._

She exhaled a shaky breath - Snoke's two most powerful Commanders had just had their minds breached by an untrained scavenger, he surely wasn't going to be happy.

Andal took a moment to compose herself before walking towards the Assembly Room to meet with Snoke and Ren. A multitude of thoughts were threatening to run through her mind, but she was determined to silence them in fear of the Supreme Leader hearing them.

She couldn't risk him knowing of the connection to Kylo.

When she reached the blast doors, Ren was there waiting for her without his helmet on. The last time she had seen him he had been on top of her, their tongues in each other's mouths, her hands in his-

"You're thinking too loud." He warned her in a hushed whisper, but she knew those images in her mind were coming from both of them, not just her.

"Focus on keeping your on mind in check, I'll worry about mine." She dismissed him with a wave of her hand.

They stood side by side as the blast doors open, exhaling a breath in unison as their minds became essentially blank slates. Once they were prepared they walked in to greet Snoke.

When the hologram appeared, they both took to one knee and rose when gestured to do so.

"What news of the prisoner?" He looked between them both, and she waited for Kylo to speak first.

"I searched her mind, she's seen the map, but I couldn't reach its location." He admitted.

"The scavenger, resisted _you?_ " He was looking between them for some reason, addressing the question to them both. Perhaps he had assumed they had both performed the interrogation.

"She is strong with the Force!" Kylo protested, "Untrained but stronger than she knows."

"And what say you, Darth Andal?" Having all but ignored his apprentice's comment, his attention now solely focused on her, and she was confused to say the least.

"Supreme Leader?" She addressed him, a request for clarification.

"You were present were you not? I felt the dip in the Force myself, she penetrated the minds of both you and Kylo Ren." He stated as a fact, but little did he know that she had not been there at all.

Andal could sense Kylo's anxiety rising, and she did her best to keep her own in check. The only logical option was to play along, "Yes, I was. Commander Ren is correct, the girl is strong."

"Strong enough to overpower the Master of the Knights of Ren and apprentice to Darth Vader?" His voice boomed now, his rage unfortunately directing itself at Darth Andal.

"I waited a year to have you released from the carbonite in the hopes that you would prove competition for my apprentice, remove his _weakness_. I sensed both of your powers in the Force growing, but here you stand, having been outwitted by a scavenger. If you do not prove your worth Commander Andal I will not hesitate to have you put back in the freezing chamber." He roared, but she was no longer listening to what he was saying.

She had been found a _year_ before they had woken her up. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Kylo looking at her, he knew that those words had hurt her.

It seemed as though no matter what she achieved, and what she did for the First Order her purpose would always be dragged back down to an object of training for Kylo Ren.

Snoke had continued on with some further cutting remarks about how she was only alive by his grace, but Andal had entirely tuned them out - she couldn't drag her mind away from the fact that she was only standing there because the Supreme Leader had decided to test Kylo Ren with an opponent.

"And the droid?" Snoke finally asked.

"Ren believed it was no longer valuable."

She had been so caught up in her own personal revelations that she hadn't even sensed Hux entering the room.

"That the girl was all we needed. As a result, the droid has most likely been returned to the hands of the enemy. They may have the map already." Hux was clearly thrilled to pin the blame on Kylo, who looked like he was on the verge of cutting the General in half.

Snoke meanwhile looked visibly furious, his already-scarred face contorting to show pure rage, "Then the Resistance must be destroyed before they get to Skywalker."

"We are on our way to their location now." Hux informed him, revelling in his small victory of winning the Supreme Leader's favour.

"Good, then we will crush them once and for all." He then turned back to his apprentice, "If what you say about this girl is true, then bring her to me."

With that he disappeared, plunging the three of them into darkness. Hux looked as though he was about to open his mouth - most likely to gloat at Kylo - but Darth Andal turned heel and stormed out before either man could react.

"A year." She muttered to herself under her breath. She wasn't even sure where she was going, but she needed some time to process what had just been said.

She was furious, furious that Snoke dictated her worth based on Kylo. She had saved the life of his apprentice, gained the trust of his Knights, become an indispensable member of High Command, but still... if she was failing to further the training of his apprentice then he wouldn't hesitate to kill her.

Behind her she could feel his presence in the Force, he was chasing after her, and it didn't take him long to catch up - he carried his helmet in one hand, having continued to leave it off.

Kylo grabbed her arm, pulling her into the nearest door to them, which was a janitorial closet.

"Some people go to the Mess or their quarters to have conversations, but no you choose a cupboard." She hissed, rolling her eyes.

"You're upset." He pointed out, and she knew he could sense it so there was no point in lying.

"Can you blame me? Everything I've done since I woke up has just been whittled down to _nothing_." She paused for a moment, casting her gaze downwards, "You could have told me..." She spoke this last part much quieter, slightly bitter.

His gloved hand rested on her cheek, forcing her to look back at him, "I didn't tell you because it's irrelevant, you told me yourself you're worth more than that."

She looked confused at this, how could it possibly not be relevant?

"I _am_ worth more than that, I have no trouble believing it. But do you understand that if one day Snoke decides I'm not aiding your training he'll kill me? Then it really would have all been for nothing." Her face instinctively leaned into his touch

"You think I'd let him kill you?" Kylo finally withdrew his hand, allowing it to graze across her jaw as he did so.

Now absent of his touch, she sighed, "You really think you could overpower him?" It wasn't a question, she knew that Snoke would be too strong if it came down to it.

"I couldn't, but together we could."

"You suggest we overthrow Snoke?" She was slightly stunned, but he was right - together they were powerful but it still wouldn't be easy.

"If it comes to it." He knew that their connection was more important than Snoke, more important than his journey to the dark side even. She knew it too. Their connection went deeper than it all, and they could both sense that they were still only scratching the surface.

Although this conversation was one of importance, they both knew that there were more pressing matters at hand.

"We can overpower the scavenger girl." Kylo eventually said, and she nodded in response.

They slipped out of the cupboard, and Kylo placed his helmet back on his head. Thankfully nobody was around to see them do so. They quickly took off towards interrogation, but as they approached they both knew something was wrong - they could no longer sense the girl.

Kylo entered the room, and when she heard the crackling of his Saber and a loud roar she knew that the scavenger had escaped. Whilst she tried to keep his rage out of her head, she spotted a pair of Stormtroopers trying to hustle away in the fear of being on the receiving end of their Commander's wrath.

With both hands outstretched the two men flew uncontrollably towards her, each of their necks landing in her grip, "Tell me what you saw."

"N-nothing." The first one spoke up, struggling in her grip.

"I swear Commander we haven't seen her!"

She exhaled a sigh, they were telling the truth. Dropping them to the ground they wasted no time in hurrying off, whilst Andal turned to address Kylo, who was still stood with this Saber activated beside the crackling heap of metal.

"She can't escape the base, we'll find her." She tried to console him, but the anger was coming off him in crashing waves.

"I am not losing to a scavenger." He hissed, turning tail and marching back out to the corridor.

"Let's split up and find her then." Andal was doing her best to balance out the uncontrollable rage with some lateral thinking. "I'll tell Hux to put the base on high alert, and if one of us finds her then we let the other know." She spoke that last part in a pointed tone, if Kylo continued to separate himself it would only weaken the both of them in the long run.

"Fine." He begrudgingly agreed, momentarily pushing his pride aside, before storming off to begin searching.

Darth Andal activated the comms device on her wrist and brought it close enough to her mouth for Hux to hear, "General, the scavenger has escaped. We cannot let her leave the base but if we set the alarms off she'll know we're onto her - keep it quiet but get people looking."

She could practically hear Hux groan in frustration over the comms - he had larger issues to deal with than some insignificant girl, but nevertheless he responded, "Very well Commander, consider it done. But I suggest you find and restrain her quickly, we don't want any interference when we're this close to destroying the Resistance once and for all."

With that, she took off in the opposite direction Ren had gone hoping that one of them would find her before she could cause any damage. The only positive note about the situation was that the adrenaline coursing through her was significantly dulling down her fatigue from having only slept an hour. When this was all over she would certainly need a least a day to rest.

After what felt like forever searching for the scavenger she took a moment to stop near the escape pods and reevaluate their strategy - she was clearly hiding somewhere, they just had to smoke her out somehow...

Before the thought could finish forming in her mind a presence washed over her, one that she didn't recognise, but equally it felt hauntingly familiar.

There was bitterness, resent, nothing short of sheer hate for this person. But buried beneath it all there was a sense of caring, dare she say love?

As she tried to connect these dots and work out who was nearby that she felt such a way about, the familiar voice in her head answered her question and made everything a whole lot clearer.

_Han Solo..._

Things were about to get more complicated than she had bargained for.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things aboard Starkiller Base reach boiling point.
> 
> Whilst Kylo Ren grapples with the presence of Han Solo, Darth Andal seems to be putting out fires all over the place.

Kylo only had one mission now, to finally sever his connection to the light and kill Han Solo.

Darth Andal meanwhile still barely knew her place in all of this and after watching the destruction of the New Republic she felt a bit uneasy, but with Ren distracted over his father's presence she was focusing on finding the scavenger girl - clearly there was a Resistance team on board, which meant they needed to hurry up and get that weapon fired to destroy them. Her own morals could wait until later.

"Commander, sensors triggered in hanger 718. We're searching the area." A trooper rushed over to inform her, and she nodded.

"She's only just beginning to test her powers. The longer it takes to find her the more dangerous she becomes." Andal warned the trooper, who rushed off to coordinate the search party.

She paced around the corridors, her mind reaching out to try and locate the girl through the Force, but her presence was still too weak to sense - all she could feel was Kylo's rage, which she had been struggling to suppress.

Making her way to the Bridge, she found Hux there barking orders. She had been hoping to also find Captain Phasma, but her friend was nowhere in sight. When she asked Hux about her whereabouts he had no idea, which seemed odd, Phasma would never leave her post unannounced.

"You seem stressed about something." The General pointed out.

Andal knew it was a bad move to hide the current situation from Hux when the weapon was so close to being fully charged, but equally this news may just tip him over the edge.

"There's a Resistance team somewhere on board the base - they might be here for the scavenger."

Hux's face dropped instantly, when he was so close to stamping out the Resistance this was not the news he wanted to hear, "Then find them!" He flapped his arms, "You have the Force can't you just track them down?"

"That's really not how it works..." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose - a trait she had picked up from the General.

"Then make it work Commander, we cannot _lose_ this close to the finish line." Hux ordered, and she nodded in response and she tried to centre her thoughts.

Her mind was focused on Phasma leaving her post. Something about that made alarm bells ring in her head, and she may not have been able to sense the scavenger's location, but she could sense that something was afoot - and it wasn't good.

"General, we have something on the radar." The base's navigator spoke up, and Hux rushed to their side to see for himself.

"Impossible, the shields are up!" He spluttered, but Andal's focus was trained on the viewpoint - she could see them approaching over the horizon... X-Wings.

"You may wanna check on that." She commented, stepping closer to get a better view as they flew in formation. They were trying to destroy the base.

"How is this possible?" Hux was horrified, but Andal quickly jumped into action-mode.

"Dispatch all squadrons." She ordered.

"Yes Commander." An officer responded to her, rushing off to launch counter measures. 

"They must have taken Phasma..." She mused aloud, hoping that her friend was okay - she was sadly unable to go and find her now because they clearly had more pressing issues.

"Commander Andal, go and find that scavenger and finish her." Hux barked, and she nodded before hurrying off.

_We're under attack._

She reached out to Kylo, but heard nothing back.

_Kylo, where are you? We need to find the girl._

Still nothing. She knew he was nearby but her thoughts were mere echos with no responses from him which meant something was wrong... it seemed as though there was plenty going wrong and she was just running around trying to put out the fires.

She rushed towards the Oscillator, following the direction of Kylo's presence. When she saw him she ground to a halt - it became instantly clear why he had been ignoring her.

On the catwalk that stretched through the Oscillator structure two figures stood in the middle - Kylo Ren and Han Solo.

Her E/C eyes scanned the room. FN-2187 and the Scavenger stood watching from an elevated platform and the wookie, Chewbacca, was watching from the same position as her on the opposite end of the catwalk. Snoke was right, she was seeing some familiar faces.

From her position she could easy have moved to attack the three fugitives and vice versa, but they were all absorbed in the altercation taking place in the centre of the catwalk. Their gazes had flicked to her momentarily, but their focus had been swiftly pulled away.

"Your son is gone, he was weak and foolish, like his father. So I destroyed him." Kylo spoke. His mask had been removed and was placed on the floor beside him.

Darth Andal could feel this unbearable pull to the light - she knew it was coming from Kylo but she had never felt anything like this before... as though she was being torn in two. He was desperately trying to fight it.

"Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you - you know it's true." Han was trying to reach his son, and part of it was working.

Kylo was resisting the constant tugging towards the light, and she could feel it. But equally they both knew was Han had said was true - Snoke was using them both.

"It's too late." Kylo replied, and at that moment Han's gaze moved to her. He studied her for a moment, and a look of recognition crossed his face along with something else - it looked like guilt.

"No it's not. You could _both_ leave here with me." Following his father's stare, Kylo also turned to look at her, his eyes softening.

"She's nothing to do with this." Kylo retorted, Andal suddenly feeling very defensive with all eyes on her - she had no idea why.

"She's more to do with this than you know Ben, and she's been lost a lot longer than you have... Please come home, we miss you." Han's gaze moved back to his son, and for the first time Andal really did think Kylo was going to choose the light. The conflict within him was _painful,_ and she felt it.

Han's words left her confused - he spoke as if he knew her, but they had only met a handful of times whilst fighting on opposing sides of the war. But the more she thought about the way he looked at her with such guilt and the fact he called her lost she soon realised that he knew something about her, about who she was before Darth Andal.

"I'm being torn apart, I want to be free of this pain." Kylo's voice cracked, and her heart dropped - was he going to leave with them? If he did what would she do? Her loyalties were not truly with the First Order, but they certainly weren't with the Resistance, really her loyalties still lay with Darth Vader, just as they always had... How foolish she felt to be loyal to a dead man.

"I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it... Will you help me?" Kylo spoke with conviction, and a sense of vulnerability which she had only heard from him late at night in her quarters.

"Yes, anything." Han stepped towards his son, and outside the sunlight began to dim, plunging the Oscillator into darkness.

Kylo extended his Saber hilt, and Han took ahold. In that moment Andal could sense that he really didn't know what he was going to do, but she prayed that Solo survived, he knew something about her past, and she had a new desire to find out what it was. He could die after she found out what he knew.

Everyone watched with bated breath as the two Solos reached the climax of their standoff. But just as the light had disappeared from the room, it disappeared from Kylo in a lapse of control - he activated his Saber, and it pierced Han's chest.

"Kylo _no!_ " Andal yelled, reaching out to the thin air in front of her. She had not processed the words until they left her mouth, but her own words could barely be heard over the scavenger's screech and Chewbacca's ear piercing roar.

She ran towards Kylo, knowing that this situation had just surpassed boiling point but also because she could feel him being ripped apart. Killing Han Solo should have killed the light, but instead it was just causing him an immense amount of pain - his spirit had been torn in two.

Before she could reach him, a powerful blaster shot could be heard and she felt a burning pain hit her side, the force of it causing her to fall to her knees. When she looked at her hand and saw no blood she realised Kylo was the one who had been hit just ahead of her, and Chewbacca had been the one to fire. Whilst both Force-users were recovering all three of them took their chance to run.

Just as the scavenger was moving to leave, Andal met her gaze as she pulled herself back to her feet, it was clear that Rey knew of the connection between her and Kylo.

Expelling this thought momentarily she rushed to Kylo's side and hauled him to his feet, he winced as she accidentally touched his wound, her hand coming back stained with his blood.

Before either of them could talk, explosives which had been planted along the Oscillator were detonated, causing a huge blast on the opposite side of the catwalk.

Both Andal and Ren covered their faces to avoid being hit by any debris, but they were quick to recover.

"We need to split up." He hissed. She could tell he was in pain, but she equally wasn't going to stop him. The thing about pain was that they could draw power from it - and in that moment Kylo was torn between light and dark more than he ever had been, he needed the pain to keep him going.

"Okay, but Ren just-" she wanted to say so much to him, tell him to be careful, that she wouldn't know what to do if something happened to him; he had become part of her just as she had become part of him, as much as they both denied it. Now faced with telling him this, the words would not form.

Kylo paused momentarily to look at her, his eyes softening, "I'll be fine." He said, and she smirked at him.

"Good, because only I'm allowed to kill you." She teased, but their exchange was interrupted when they focused back on the situation at hand.

They both moved to exit onto the planet's surface, Ren staggering in one direction whilst Andal took off running in the other. With the nearby sun being extinguished to power the weapon, which was clearly still functioning despite the Oscillator being damaged, the atmosphere was becoming even colder than before, and it was penetrating deep into her bones - it wasn't long before she was shivering, but it didn't stop her from running deep into the forest.

It was already difficult enough to see anyone moving across the dark landscape, and the cold seemed to be dulling her senses.

She didn't know how long she had been out there for, but she couldn't sense anything. Eventually she stopped running, pulling her cloak as tightly as she could around her shoulders. The hood wouldn't stay up whilst she was running but now that she had stopped she tugged it over her head to provide as much warmth as she could.

_I need you._

She suddenly heard echo in her head, the link was weak, she could barely hear his voice but he sounded strained.

_Where are you?_

Andal reached out to him, but there was silence. She felt that incessant pulling to the light slowly disappearing, along with her connection to Kylo.

_Kylo?_

She took off sprinting at this point, she could barely sense him anymore - something was wrong, _very_ wrong. The light within her was all but gone, and without Kylo's presence in her mind she suddenly felt like she was missing a piece of herself, as if her connection to the Force was weaker.

" _Ren!_ " She yelled, feeling more panicked the less she could feel him in her head. As she ran it became harder and harder to sense him - he was slipping away.

She stopped running, it was becoming hopeless. Her eyes closed and she reached out into the Force, she could no longer feel Kylo, but she could feel the scavenger. Her energy was similar to one she had felt before, but she couldn't put her finger on whose it was, but part of her feared it.

Following the scavenger's energy Andal took off running again, and she finally saw figures in the distance. Two were laying on the ground, and where she had hoped to see Kylo standing above them she saw the girl, Rey, crouched beside the unconscious body of FN-2187.

She looked down at the other body, she knew it was him, but she feared seeing it. Her heart sank when she laid eyes on him, blood stained his face - how had she wounded him?

The sight of Ren's body was causing her rage to flood her veins, and without the presence of light in her that Kylo had been providing she was powered by uncontrollable fury.

"You did this." She seethed, the brunette finally looking up, her eyes going wide like a deer caught in headlights.

"Stay back..." Rey warned, with little conviction in her tone. She activated the Lightsaber she had been clutching and the blue blade roared to life, illuminating her face. She looked scared. She was right to.

"You were lucky to defeat him, he was injured." Darth Andal's Lightsaber whizzed to life, and she spun it in her hand as she circled her prey, "You won't be so lucky with me." She warned the girl, before lunging towards her, an angry roar coming from the back of her throat.

The first strike caused Rey to stumble backwards, Andal was much more controlled than Kylo, and she was fighting to the best of her ability. It was clear that Rey had found guidance in the Force, and she had some background in combat otherwise she wouldn't have a clue when it came to swinging the Saber, but it was no match for Andal's years of training.

Rey was still being forced backwards by her vicious and relentless strikes, and soon her stance faltered, giving the apprentice of Vader a chance to knock the Saber from her hand.

"I should have killed you when I saw you in that interrogation room." Now pointing her blade at Rey's throat, she approached her. Rey was like a caged animal, backing up until she hit a tree trunk which left her at the mercy of Darth Andal.

"Please, it doesn't have to be like this!" She pleaded for her life, and let out a shriek as Andal purposely toyed with her by briefly pressing her blade to Rey's skin, leaving a scorching mark in its wake.

"Yes, it does." She concluded, raising her Saber to strike Rey down, but before she could the ground beneath their feet began to rumble, and within a second cracks began splitting the surface of the planet. With the ground shaking, Andal quickly lost her footing which gave Rey the opportunity to scurry away, back towards FN-2187.

She watched as a colossal split in the ground separated her from the two fugitives, and she could have easily pursued them but her mind was only focused on one thing, and that was Kylo. With the ground tearing apart at their very feet he could have easily fallen into one of the chasms, not that she knew how they were going to get off Starkiller, which was clearly on the brink of destruction.

Andal ran back to Kylo's body as the scavenger and FN-2187 became even more distant, barely visible. She threw herself onto her knees by his body and tugged off her cloak to throw over him - he was freezing, and even though she was too, he needed it more than she did.

"Hux! Hux, do you read me?" She desperately called into her comm.

"Stay with me Ren..." She muttered to him, placing her hands on either side of his face, "I didn't survive this long just to die on a collapsing planet, and neither did you." Her words weren't doing much, but they were giving her something to focus on other than the cold, her teeth were chattering and she wasn't sure she'd be able to move soon.

"Commander Andal is that you? I have orders from the Supreme Leader to get you and Ren before evacuating the planet, we don't have much time." Hux's voice was crackling, but it was there - and she was relieved to hear it.

"I have him." She quickly confirmed, "We're in the forest not far from the south exit from the Oscillator. He's injured, badly, you need to hurry." She tried to keep her voice level, despite it all she still wasn't ready to let anybody else know just how much she had grown to care for the commander.

"We're on our way." He responded almost instantly, and she breathed a sigh of relief, hoping that their salvation would arrive at any moment.

"Come on Kylo..." She quietly urged him, "I didn't survive this long to die in a kriffing forest."

_Trust in the Force to guide you._

Vader's final words to her echoed in her head, and she took a moment to inhale a deep breath, push all other emotions aside and focus on her passion as she tapped into the Force.

With her eyes closed, she moved one hand to Kylo's chest and reached out to him through the Force, latching onto the tiny part of his presence that was still flickering. The same way he had pulled her back to the Force all those months ago when she had first woken up, she pulled him back now - at least enough to keep him alive.

The smallest of groans suddenly came from Kylo's throat, and relief washed over her. Not long ago she had wanted this man dead, and now she couldn't be happier to see him alive. Just as he woke up another crack appeared in the ground just behind them - they were running out of time.

"You're going to be okay Ren." She reassured him through her chattering teeth, now barely able to move through her shivers.

"You should have left me." He croaked, his eyes remaining shut. Those words made her heart sink, he had no idea how much he was worth - if she owed her Master anything now it was to keep his grandson alive. She spent so long thinking that she alone was Vader's legacy, but Kylo was part of it too.

"I told you, only I'm allowed to kill you." Despite her hand shaking from the cold, she moved it to brush some black curls from his wounded face.

Kylo looked content with that answer, he may have even smiled slightly, it was near impossible to tell. She was willing Hux to find them faster, the planet was coming apart below them, and it wouldn't be long before the entire place blew.

The command ship finally flew towards them, its descent causing more icy wind to blow over the pair of them.

Just as quickly as the ship landed the ramp was released and Hux came rushing out towards them with a pair Stormtroopers in tow.

"We don't have much time." Hux urged her, crouching down to haul her freezing body to its feet.

Beyond a small nod Andal couldn't manage any other words as she shuffled onto the ship, collapsing with her back against the wall as soon as she made it out of the cold.

She watched as the two troopers managed to haul Kylo onto the ship - he still had her cloak attached to his front, that along with his multiple wounds and the blood covering his face had him looking worse than ever. But he was alive, and that was all that mattered in that moment.

She sat shivering, with her knees pulled up to her chest as they took off. Hell, she didn't even know where they were going, but anywhere was better than Starkiller on the brink of destruction.

Hux wordlessly came and handed her a thermal blanket, which she didn't hesitate to wrap around herself, muttering a short 'thank you.' He clearly was still trying to process losing the weapon which had been his pride and joy, so that wasn't the moment to tell him that the scavenger and FN-2187 had escaped.

It had been a chain of huge losses for the First Order, but Darth Andal didn't find herself caring about that. She had nothing to gain from the First Order's victory, no stake in this war. She could admit it now, at some point she had to - the reality was that she was only there for Kylo Ren.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now aboard The Supremacy, Darth Andal is able to meet Supreme Leader Snoke in the flesh, and he gives her some surprising news, she just needs to decide if it's safe to put her trust in him.
> 
> With Kylo unconscious, she turns to the next best person.

She couldn't remember the last time she slept so well. Having been rushed onto a different First Order base known as 'The Supremacy,' Darth Andal had been ushered to the Med Bay. She didn't need the medical attention, it was just cautionary, and she would have refused it had she not wanted to see how Kylo was without raising suspicion.

He was separated from her on arrival to have his wounds tended to and dressed. Meanwhile she simply had her vitals checked and the doctor confirmed that she was fine, just sleep deprived. She had been so cold she was surprised she didn't have hypothermia at that point.

The nurses gave her some black, loose fitting clothes to wear temporarily whilst they sent for her clothing to be washed (as well as the cloak she had draped over Kylo) and showed her to a bed.

"What of Commander Ren?" She had asked.

"He's still unconscious, we will let you know when he wakes." The nurse had politely nodded before taking her leave, and mere seconds after Andal's head hit the pillow she had been fast asleep.

For the first time in days she slept without the interruption of mysterious visions from her past and strange voices which pointed her towards Ben - or Kylo. It was a thin line, considering killing his father had only let the light in more rather than extinguishing it. Meanwhile she had never felt so connected to the dark, she was certain that with the smallest push she could finally fully embrace the Sith.

When she woke she found her clothes clean and folded at the foot of her bed. It didn't compare to the privacy of her quarters, but least she had a room and refresher to herself.

Before bringing it to anyone's attention that she was awake, she thought it was time for some self care. Then she would face the reality of the day ahead.

Heading into the refresher she washed herself from head to toe, revelling in the warmth of water against her skin. She emerged after a while and wrapped a towel around her body, before heading back out into her room to get changed.

Dropping the towel, she put on her undergarments before dressing in the rest of her clothes. Looking at her reflection she exhaled a sigh. Her belt now boasted a First Order emblem atop the buckle, Hux had eventually insisted on it - but she still yearned for her old Empire buckle. It may have seemed like a small detail, but it was the only link to her old life she had.

Now dressed, she pulled on her boots and threw her cape over her shoulders which made her think of Kylo. He still wasn't awake, she couldn't feel his presence and without him everything just felt so... empty.

She had spent the best part of her life without Kylo Ren, but now it felt like she had lost a piece of herself to not have him sharing her head. Although she was still going to continue denying that out loud.

Since her hair was still wet she pulled her hood over her head and left the small room. The Med Bay aboard the Supremacy was huge, and it was currently housing a number injured Stormtroopers from the fall of Starkiller.

Now standing amongst the hustle and bustle Andal realised she had no clue where she was supposed to be going, so she hailed a passing doctor.

"Commander Andal - you look well." The doctor beamed, and she nodded.

"Yes, I'm well rested." Andal wasn't sure what she really wanted to ask. She _should_ have asked how to get to High Command, or where Hux was to give her orders, but instead the inevitable words left her mouth, "Where is Commander Ren being held?"

"This way, Commander." The young doctor gestured for Andal to follow her, and together they walked through the Med Bay.

It turned out Kylo was only a few rooms away from herself, and she bid farewell to the doctor at the blast doors, having been warned that he was still unconscious and not looking his best.

When the doors flew open, Andal was surprised to see General Hux by his bedside. He was looking down at Kylo's body with complete disdain on his face.

"Yes, they would know if you smothered him." She caught Hux's attention with a smirk on her face, arms folding across her chest.

Hux jumped at her sudden appearance, but quickly returned to his uptight demeanour, "Yes well can you blame me? We lost everything because he couldn't capture a kriffing droid."

Darth Andal said nothing at first. She looked at Hux - he was a shell of a man, he clearly hadn't slept and she was almost worried for him. But when she cast her gaze down to Kylo the worry truly hit her.

With the blood having been washed away from his face he was left with a deep gash, which was being treated by bacta. Although it certainly didn't look like it would completely heal.

"Losing one base isn't the end of the world, Hux." She raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't it?" He hissed, "Starkiller was my _life,_ and now we have to crush the Resistance without it!" He was clearly delirious, and Andal was just about done with the whining.

"Pull yourself together Hux. Yes, you lost - we all lost. But that was a battle, this is _war,_ and you're a General you need to remember that." Her tone said it all, and he looked almost taken aback by how forthcoming she was.

He opened his mouth to protest, but shut it again to consider his words. He then exhaled a sigh, "You're right, it isn't over."

"I sense it's far from it." She sighed, glancing back at Kylo. Maker she wished he would wake up.

"His Knights have reported for training." Hux pointed out, "I suggest you go and break the news to them."

Andal raised an eyebrow, "Not scared of the Knights of Ren are you General?" She teased, a smirk crossing her lips.

"No, I just- I just have other things to do." Hux protested.

"Sadly the first thing you need to do is show me where the Knights are training."

"Very well." He sighed in defeat and he walked past her to the blast doors, but she stayed put for a moment, gazing at Kylo.

"Are you coming?" Hux prompted, and she tore her gaze away from Kylo to follow the General out of the blast doors.

As they walked through the foreign halls, Andal tried to commit some locations to memory, but it had taken her weeks to find her way around Starkiller, and she assumed it would be no different with the Supremacy.

"What happened to Phasma?" She asked, assuming Hux would know. She had been worried about her friend since the beginning of the Resistance incursion, distracted only by her worry for Kylo.

"She made it off base - said she got jumped by that filthy traitor FN-2187." 

Relief washed over her, "At least she's safe." Andal wasn't sure she could stomach the stress of losing a friend right now.

When they arrived in the training room, Hux was quick to point her in the direction of the Knights and leave - he really was scared of them.

The setup was similar to that onboard Starkiller, and there was still a separate room for their private training.

When she entered the Knights all stood to attention, visibly relaxing when they saw it wasn't their Master - she had told them time and time again that they didn't need to use the formalities around her.

"Sorry to disappoint you all." She joked, taking her hood down now that her hair was dry. 

"It's never a disappoint Commander Andal." Cardo shot her a wink.

By now she knew all the Knights fairly well. Since Pillio they had all warmed up to her, and whenever Kylo wasn't around she permitted them to train without their helmets - she needed a break from working with men who wore all black and wore purposely intimidating helmets.

She could tell they all had entirely different personalities. Cardo, for example, loved to flirt - and not just with her, with anything that had a pulse.

Ushar elbowed his fellow Knight, before addressing Darth Andal himself, "Where's Master Ren? We haven't heard from him."

She took Ushar to be the leader of the pack when Kylo wasn't around. He was calm, collected and never seemed to raise his voice, he had everyone's upmost respect, including her own.

"He's unconscious in the Med Bay. There were... complications, when Starkiller fell." She wasn't sure how much to tell them. Kylo kept his affairs secret from everyone, possibly even his knights.

Cardo's attitude changed swiftly, and worry crossed all of their faces. It was refreshing to see a group of people care so deeply for Kylo Ren - most people were probably wishing his death.

"Will he be okay?" Trudgen asked. He had a gruff voice, and was usually the quietest of the bunch, his talking was done through action usually.

"I think so." Andal nodded, "He's stable now at least." She exhaled a short sigh, and looked at the disheartened men in front of her.

"You don't have to train today, if you all have other things you want to be doing I won't keep you here." She offered, and they all looked at one another before Ushar spoke.

"No, we'd rather train." They all nodded in response, and she knew that training was the perfect distraction from their worry for their Master. In all honesty, she was relieved they had agreed to stay with her.

"Then form up - we're sparring."

As time went by she was impressed to see the Knights using techniques she had taught them, techniques that she had originally been taught by Vader. She hoped he would have been proud of how much she had accomplished without his guidance - not to say that she still didn't miss his guidance.

"Mind your footing Cardo. You _always_ step before you strike, which is a dead giveaway." She instructed, dodging another of his strikes.

"Maybe I just wanted to be closer to you." He smirked, and Andal took this opportunity to floor him faster than he could react.

"Don't distract yourself." She chuckled, rolling her eyes.

Cardo's fellow Knights were snickering at how easily he had just been taken down - they assumed that was the treatment she usually gave people for relentlessly flirting with her.

"I think you're the one doing the distracting, Commander." He quipped as he stood up.

"Don't make me floor you again, that would be even more embarrassing." She teased.

Before anyone could respond the blast doors flew open, to reveal a very uncomfortable General Hux.

"Commander Andal, the Supreme Leader requests your presence." Hux gazed nervously at the Knights before focusing back on her.

She didn't feel the same sense of 'oh shit' she usually felt at this news. Perhaps she had just become used to it, or perhaps she now completely disregarded Snoke's rule.

"Very well. I'll keep you all updated on Ren." She assured the Knights, before following Hux for yet another mystery tour of the Supremacy.

"Why does the Supreme Leader want to see me?" She asked as they walked, and Hux looked jumpy - but that was possibly from his clear fatigue.

"I'm not sure. But he said he senses something in the-" He flapped his hand in front of his head, "Force thing."

Her mouth went dry at this. It couldn't possibly be the connection between her and his apprentice, not when Kylo was lying unconscious. But what else could it be? She was now truly preparing herself for the worst.

When they reached the blast doors they opened to reveal a turbo-lift rather than an entrance straight into the room. Hux walked in with her and they were whisked upwards.

"There is one other thing I should warn you about-" He began, but the journey was over too quickly, and the blast doors flew open to reveal Snoke... in the flesh.

"Darth Andal!" He boomed, opening his bony arms wide from where he sat on his throne.

She was stunned to see him in person. He was slender, sickly looking but his energy was imposing and rather intimidating. He radiated sheer power from where he sat on his throne, clad in golden robes and surrounded by a huge personal guard.

"Supreme Leader." She acknowledged, lowering herself to one knee. She noticed Hux hadn't joined her, and left just as soon as they had arrived.

"Rise." He sat back in his throne, a distorted smirk on his face. "It is nice to finally see you in the flesh, I can see why my apprentice is so enamoured by you."

The comment made her toes curl, but equally peaked her interest, "As far as I'm concerned your apprentice only harbours resent for me." Obviously a slight stretch of the truth, but she had come to be quite apt at hiding things from Snoke - Kylo meanwhile, clearly hadn't.

He let out a low, dark chuckle, "No heir of Vader could be so naive. I cannot blame him for his... _desires,_ you appear to be strengthening him _._ " Again, she grimaced at this, "You, young Andal, are strong in the dark side of the Force. I sensed a shift, when Starkiller Base fell. You're teaming with darkness - more so than before. Am I correct?"

"Yes, you are correct." She was relieved to know that Snoke was still seemingly unaware of the connection, but he was aware of something - although he didn't seem to have sensed how deeply killing Han Solo had cut his apprentice yet. Meanwhile he was sensing the power within her, and she didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Interesting." He held his chin for a moment as he thought, "I think you're ready to complete your training." A vicious smirk crossed his lips.

"Complete my training? Have I not already done that?" As far as she was aware she was far from being anyone's apprentice now - approximately thirty years away from it.

"Perhaps I should rephrase. You can complete your journey to the dark side - become a true Sith Lord."

She didn't know what to make of this. Sure, the goal of her training had technically been to become a Sith Lord, which she knew came with those staple yellow irises, but Vader had never willed her towards it. He had trained her less conventionally, he would frequently remind her of that.

Was this what he would have wanted for her?

"And how do I complete this journey?" She finally asked.

"That remains... unclear." He mused, "When the time comes to face your final test, you will know." He nodded.

This wasn't what she had anticipated - Snoke bringing her to see him to do nothing short of praise her. She had been prepared for the worst.

"That is all for now, you may go." He dismissed her with a wave of his hand, and she gave him a respectful nod before making her way back to the turbo-lift.

There was a lot flying through her mind, and she wished more than ever she could have had her Master's guidance - or even Kylo's for that matter. Just somebody who could understand what was being asked her.

She could barely work out why the darkness within her was growing, she could only put it down to her new mistrust in the First Order and its goals... ironic really.

A lot was becoming uncertain for her, and considering she worked alongside all First Order officials, she didn't exactly have anyone she could voice her concerns to, but watching the New Republic be desolated didn't sit right with her.

Did she support the Resistance? No. But did she support the First Order? Not entirely.

But suddenly the Supreme Leader was taking a keen interest in her as she grew more powerful in the dark side, was that a good thing or a bad thing?

There was one person on base whose brains she could pick about that last issue.

"You." She summoned a passing Stormtrooper, "Where's the mess hall?"

><><><><><><><><><><><

Darth Andal entered High Command with two cups of caf in hand. She had been to the mess to pick up the beverages, then shown to the bridge by a passing Captain.

Things looked similar to Starkiller, just sans the snowy landscape beyond the viewpoints - now she could just see into the mass of space. A sight that was comfortingly familiar to her.

"Where's General Hux?" She asked the bridge officers, who pointed her towards his office.

She entered without knocking, since she didn't have a hand free. When the blast doors opened, the sound jolted Hux awake, clearly he had been taking an inadvertent nap.

"W-what?" He scrambled to sit up straight and fumble with his papers to look as though he was doing something, before visibly relaxing when he saw it was her. "Oh it's only you, what do you need?"

"I thought you might be the one who needs something." With a raised eyebrow she placed the steaming cup of caf in front of him and he looked like he was staring at liquid gold.

"Thank you." He mumbled, whilst he took a long sip.

"But that is not a substitute for sleep Hux, you're not going to keel over and leave me with all your mess." She warned him.

"There aren't enough hours in the rotation, I don't have _time_ to sleep." He groaned.

"Look, I'm not here to mother you. I need your advice." She took a seat opposite his desk and sipped at her own drink.

"Go on." Suddenly looking more alert and invested, Hux leaned forward in his seat.

"Supreme Leader Snoke told me I'm growing stronger, and I don't know why - but that's not the point." She exhaled a sigh, "I need you to be honest with me here Hux, I don't trust a lot of people around this place... Can I trust him? Or is this part of a bigger plan?"

Hux fell silent, he face contorting as he thought about what to say. She doubted he was planning on lying to her, but she was definitely asking a controversial question. She wasn't going to blindly follow Snoke if he was planning on manipulating her, the way he had Kylo.

"It's hard to say." Hux began, clearly considering every word carefully, "I can't say he shares his motives with me - dare I say this would be something Ren could probably advise you on better."

"Yes well if you haven't noticed, he's not really in a fit state to advise anyone." She raised an eyebrow. "Besides, I know Snoke manipulated him when he was younger, and I think his opinion is... distorted." Sharing this with Hux was risky, but it was equally true. She was nervous to approach the subject with Ren because she could _feel_ how torn he was between his loyalty to Snoke and growing connection with her.

"You know?" Hux looked confused, clearly he had expected Kylo to tell her anything about his personal life.

"Yeah it's a long story..." She sighed. It wasn't really a long story, but she sure as hell wasn't about to explain it to the General.

"I suppose I would just advise you to tread cautiously. Supreme Leader Snoke is an unpredictable man, do not outwardly defy him but just look after yourself." The ginger man finished his caf and looked at her with sincerity - he actually _cared._

"I will." She nodded, "Thank you." She gave him a firm nod but followed with a soft smile. Andal had never anticipated having befriended the uptight General Hux in such a way that she could almost confide in him. But it felt good to know she wasn't entirely alone with Kylo still unconscious.

"Get some sleep." She called to him as she left his office, heading back to the hustle and bustle of the bridge which was when she felt it. A tug in the Force, the smallest of shifts, but it was still there and it was unmistakeable.

Kylo was waking up.

Without making a scene she rushed to the Med Bay and burst into Kylo's room, where the same doctor she had spoken to earlier hovered over his body.

"How is he?" Andal asked, slightly out of breath.

"He's recovering, coming down from the anaesthetic we gave him." She told the Commander, who nodded.

The doctor made her way to the blast doors when she saw Kylo's eyes beginning to open, "I'll leave you two alone and be back soon to check his vitals." Realistically she was probably terrified to be there when Kylo awoke in case of an outburst.

Darth Andal sat beside his bed, and watched as his face slowly turned to look at her - damn those big brown eyes.

"Hey-" She began.

"Don't." He sharply interrupted her - as sharply as he could in his state at least. "I don't need your pity."

"Who said I'm here to give you pity?" She suddenly snapped, not overjoyed with the frosty reception. He had every right to be upset or angry, but she wasn't in the mood for him to take it out on her. Not after everything that had happened between them.

"Because there's no other reason for you to be here." He said in a low tone, and Andal would be lying if she said that didn't feel like a knife to the stomach. Did he not for a second think she was there because she cared about him?

"If that's what you think then maybe I should go." She rose from her seat and pulled the hood of her cloak over her head. She was angry. Kylo Ren had no right to go from caressing her face and telling her that they could do anything if they worked together to essentially telling her to get fucked.

"Then go." He harshly told her, before turning away.

He was hurting, she got that, but she wasn't going to let him speak to her like she was dirt on his boot. There was clearly no point in sticking around so she stormed out of the room.

Now back in the Med Bay she had no clue where to go. Usually she would go to her quarters to meditate or to generally vent her frustration, but she had no clue where her quarters were anymore.

For now the training facility would have to do since she knew how to get there. Perhaps the Knights would still about around to spar with her.

As she made her way there she felt something creeping into her soul. Ever so slowly, but it was the light. That darkness she had been harnessing was starting to be balanced out by the intrusion of light and that's when she realised the truth - the truth which had been staring her in the face.

The darkness hadn't come from discovering her mistrust for the First Order, it had been within her all this time - but Kylo Ren was the light that balanced her out.

Fancy that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few chapters coming... oof the drama is strong


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Resistance nearly at the end of the line, the First Order is on the brink of success.
> 
> The same cannot be said for Kylo Ren. The further he strays towards the light, the stronger Darth Andal becomes in the dark, and they can't keep ignoring it forever.

It had been a disastrous start to the rotation. Darth Andal had watched as that damn pilot she had interrogated with Kylo managed to blow up a Dreadnought - and she wouldn't have said it out loud but his sheer determination impressed her. Plus the way he had made a fool of Hux had made her laugh.

Snoke on the other hand had been less than happy, and made an example of Hux on the bridge before summoning both him and Darth Andal to see him.

"We have them tied to the end of a string." He confidently told her as the approached the turbo-lift, "It's just a matter of time." If anything, Hux did look well rested today. He had taken her advice and actually slept at least.

"You don't need to tell me that." She chuckled, "I believe you." For once she wasn't nervous going into to see Snoke. She had been working hard to suppress the light within her that was coming from Kylo, and it was working - especially whilst she was still angry at him.

The doors from the turbo-lift flew open and they walked in tandem towards Snoke's throne, falling into their regular routine of taking to one knee before he told them to rise, both standing with their hands behind their backs.

"Sir, the Resistance cruiser is in sight, it's only a matter of time before our fighter teams are scrambled and destroy them once and for all. They are all that's left." Hux was quick to inform Snoke of the situation, he didn't want to be called a failure again.

"Hm..." The Supreme Leader sat back in his throne, "Tied to a string indeed, General Hux. Well done. The Resistance will soon be in our grasp." A cunning smile sat on his scarred, deformed face.

"Thank you, Supreme Leader." Hux bowed his head.

"You are dismissed, oversee their destruction." As Snoke spoke, she could hear the blast doors opening, but she didn't need to turn around to see who was entering.

Kylo's energy was a mess, she had never felt him be so torn and broken but any sympathy she may have felt for him was pushed aside.

As Hux turned to leave, she was going to follow him before Snoke spoke up again, "Stay, Commander Andal - I still require your presence."

Nodding at their Supreme Leader, she turned back to face him whilst Kylo mimicked their actions from earlier and lowered himself to one knee. He was wearing his mask now, whether that was to cover up his injuries or an attempt to cut himself off from his emotions she couldn't tell.

"How's your wound." Snoke asked, not giving his apprentice the order to stand.

"It's nothing." The mechanical voice responded, and it was clear that nobody in the room believed him.

"Hmm- the mighty Kylo Ren. When I found you I saw what all masters live to see: raw, untamed power - and beyond that, something truly special. The potential of your bloodline, a new Vader. Now I fear... I chose the wrong apprentice." He gave a glance in Darth Andal's direction, and she looked slightly taken aback by this - she certainly wasn't on the market to be anyone's apprentice anymore.

"I've given everything I have to you. To the dark side." Kylo looked up as he spoke, the mask now pointing at his master.

"Take that ridiculous thing off." Snoke's voice was low, threatening even.

Hesitating for a moment, Kylo soon released his helmet and pulled it away from his head, revealing the splitting scar across his face. She hadn't seen it since the bacta had been removed, and now she could see how much damage the scavenger had really done.

"Yes, there it is. You have too much of your father's heart in you, young Solo." Snoke was clearly taunting him, and she was listening with intent. She was still trying to push away the sympathy she wanted to feel for him - maybe it was closer to empathy, the way he spoke to Kylo and degraded him reminded her so much of Palpatine.

"I killed Han Solo, when the moment came I didn't hesitate."

Andal recalled that moment. Watching the life leave the man's eyes at the hands of his own son, but the bit that stood out to her was still his recognition of her. She feared that her history with Han Solo was deeper than meeting him on opposing sides of a war.

"And look at you, the deed split your spirit to the bone. You were unbalanced... Bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber! You failed!" Snoke boomed, now leaning forward in his throne as he roared as his apprentice. "I brought Darth Andal into the Order in the hope that she would make you stronger - abolish the light. But here she stands before me having saved your life not once, but _twice._ Perhaps I have been assuming that blood would make you the new Vader, but she is Vader's legacy." The words were clearly meant to hurt Kylo, and they succeeded.

He jumped to his feet, angry, ready to protest, but just as quickly as he moved lightning shot from Snoke's hand and it quickly floored Kylo in a burst of pain. Darth Andal felt it - she winced as the electricity shot through her body but it was a pain she was sadly accustomed to, within a split second she had recovered, and nobody had noticed her reaction.

"Skywalker lives!" The omniscient voice of Snoke continued, "the seed of the Jedi Order lives, and as long as it does, hope lives in the galaxy. I thought you would be the one to snuff it out, but alas, you're no Vader. You're just a child in a mask." His tone had lowered as he snarled at his apprentice, no doubt trying to use Kylo's anger as a source of power. "Your grandfather's apprentice shows true potential, true _power._ I suggest you try and follow in her footsteps and take her training on board."

He was sparking conflict between them. Just as Hux said it was hard to read Snoke's true intentions, but whatever this was, it didn't look good for Kylo. Or their relationship for that matter.

They both turned and left when prompted. In the turbo-lift they were silent, a darkness hung in the air. Soon Kylo began to viciously smash his helmet against the wall over and over again until it was completely destroyed. He dropped it to the ground and faced forward, his breathing laboured.

"Ren-" She tried to say, unfazed by his outburst, but as the doors opened he went storming out, "Kylo!" She called after him, exasperated by him at this point. He was letting Snoke enlarge the rift between them.

"Prepare my ship." He snapped at the Stormtroopers guarding the blast doors, who scurried off to complete their orders.

She could tell that he was going off to prove himself to Snoke - to help destroy the Resistance, and now she couldn't even follow him.

"You taught me over a hundred ways to kill a man but you couldn't have taught me how to pilot..." She muttered under her breath as she took off towards High Command. Knowing her luck if Master Vader was going to choose to time to actually listen to her, that would be the thing he heard.

><><><><><><><><><><

She had watched it all from the bridge alongside Hux. He had ordered Ren back when they strayed too far from the protection of the Supremacy, but the standout moment of the assault was something that nobody else knew about.

As far as High Command was concerned, a Resistance cruiser had been destroyed by the team led by Kylo's Silencer - one which had General Organa on board. Now all that remained was one craft which was running dangerously low on fuel, it was just a waiting game now that the First Order could follow them through hyperspace.

But Andal had felt it, she had felt Ben Solo connecting with his mother momentarily, and it was heart-wrenching. Kylo had refused to fire, he couldn't bring himself to do it, he may have harboured resent for his father, but he still loved his mother and he couldn't kill both of his parents.

She knew that this decision only split him further, and light was becoming harder and harder to suppress. The more he ignored Andal's help and the more they subdued their connection to one another, the more he leaned towards the light and her towards the dark.

"I want everyone in the conference room for a debrief." Hux barked orders at the bridge officers who sent out messages to all relevant officials.

Everyone had seen the heated exchange between Hux and Kylo - he had ordered him and his squadron back against his will and she could sense the uncontrollable rage Ren was currently feeling.

With both Andal and Hux already on the bridge naturally they went and sat in the conference room first, and were swiftly joined by relevant Lieutenants and Captains, including Phasma. When she walked through the door Andal nodded at her, which she returned - this was their way of silently agreeing to catch up after the meeting. A lot had happened.

Last but far from least Kylo came storming in, people looking rather surprised to see him without his helmet. She forgot that a majority of people had no idea what he looked like before now.

He took his seat opposite Andal, both were adjacent to Hux at the head of the table.

"Make this quick General." He spat, and she shot him a warning look to calm down.

Kylo's overload of emotions and rage was coming from numerous factors, but unfortunately for Hux the order to have him return to base had tipped him over, and made him a target for Kylo to focus his anger on.

"Quiet Ren." He hissed, before turning back to address everyone, "Thank you all for coming so swiftly, as I'm sure you all know we are on the brink of destroying the Resistance. With our ability to track them through hyperspace they are sitting ducks. They are currently cruising just out of our range, but when their fuel inevitably runs dry they will finally be wiped out once and for all."

Mutters and noises of impending victory rose up around the table, but there was one person who wasn't in the mood for early celebrations.

"We could have already destroyed them had you not called me back here." Ren rose to his feet and jabbed his gloved finger in Hux's face.

"Do not blame me for you reckless behaviour Ren, either way they will be destroyed, regardless of you-" Hux's yelling was cut off as he grasped at his neck, an invisible hand constricted around it.

Everyone around the table was far too afraid to speak and stop him, for the fear that they would receive the same treatment. All except Darth Andal.

"Ren that's _enough._ " She loudly snapped rising to her feet, "let him go." He met her gaze, fire in his eyes. She narrowed her own eyes and didn't shy away.

"This doesn't concern you." He snarled, his hand still raised, Hux still gasping for air.

"You're making a fool of yourself. Last chance; let him _go_." She warned him in a low tone, and everyone else around the table was shifting uncomfortably.

"Do _not_ insult me." He roared, and by this point she'd had enough, poor Hux's face was starting to change to a shade of deep red.

"That's it." She threw her hand forwards and sent a blast through the Force which pushed Kylo violent through the air, leaving him slumped against the wall.

Hux was immediately released and gasping to reclaim air in his lungs.

Andal walked around the table to where Kylo was pulling himself back to his feet. Now nose to nose they stared one another down, she was daring him to make another move.

"You think because the Supreme Leader favours you now you're better than me? You're not even close." He told her, speaking quietly enough that anyone else would be straining to hear.

"Care to test that theory?" She reached her Saber hilt, ready. She couldn't believe for a second that this was the same man she had been making out with just a few days before.

They had become close, but now it seemed like they were back at square one.

"Stop-" Hux stumbled over, still rubbing his throat and his voice hoarse, "I think that's enough for today." Despite everything he shot Ren a harsh glare, and after staring each other down for another few intense moments, they each stepped back, Hux exhaling a sigh of relief.

"And that brings this debrief to a close, you're all dismissed." He muttered, everyone moving swiftly to get out of the room, the tension was making things awkward.

Both Force users turned to look at one another again, before Kylo eventually broke away and stormed out of the room.

Andal clipped her Saber back to belt and pinched the bridge of her nose. They couldn't keep going on like this, it was eating away at her to have her soul split like this - and she knew it must have been the same for him.

"I suppose I owe you thanks." Hux muttered.

"Ren's angry at... a lot of things. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time." She sighed.

"Aren't I always?" He rolled his eyes, and she offered a dry laugh.

"I'll see you later General." She remarked, before walking out of the conference room where Phasma was stood waiting for her.

"That was certainly eventful." She commented, and Andal rolled her eyes - thankfully she knew Phasma was someone she could vent her frustrations to as they walked the halls.

"Just when I thought things were changing between us he starts pushing me away and it's just-" She stopped herself, realising she was saying far too much to not raise questions so she just shook her head and sighed. "It doesn't matter. I haven't seen you since Starkiller, I was worried."

Phasma noted Andal's words, but she didn't dwell on them - at least not right now. "I'm sure you heard I had a run in with FN-2187."

A run in which ended in the shields of the base being lowered, something Phasma was adamant on keeping to herself.

"I did, I can't believe he managed to catch you off guard." She remarked, and she noticed Phasma stiffen by her side. There was something she wasn't telling her, but Andal decided not to pry.

"What happened to you and Ren?" Phasma was quick to change the subject.

"We went after the Scavenger, but there was... much more than we bargained for - Ren took the brunt of it."

"I noticed." Her chrome helmet nodded, "And he clearly isn't in a good mood about it."

"No, he really isn't, you have no idea." Andal mumbled. She hadn't heard his voice in her head in so long, and it felt empty without his annoying ramblings.

They kept things professional in their conversation. Something seemed different between them - as if they were both keeping things from each other. She knew that she was keeping the true nature of her relationship with Kylo secret, but she had no idea what Phasma was keeping secret. She could only assume it was something that had happened when Starkiller fell.

It was amazing how much things had changed in a few days. Her and Kylo had been closer than ever, and now were at each other's throats again. She had considered Phasma her closest friend on base and now things seemed awkward between them and she didn't know why.

Maker forbid her best friend on base really was Hux right now.

Having sat and eaten with Phasma like they used to things were becoming a bit more natural. They discussed training mostly, Andal mentioned that she had been spending time around the Knights.

In the Supremacy's mess hall there was a separate area where members of High Command could sit away from stormtroopers and other officers. Darth Andal wasn't bothered either way, but she was sure people like Hux would be more likely to use the mess hall knowing that they could have some privacy.

Phasma had mentioned that their new schedules had been sent to their data-pads - hers was apparently much the same as it had been before which was unsurprising. Andal thought little of it, she assumed she would be spending a majority of her day in High Command and then scrambling to find time to train and meditate when she could.

It was late by the time her and Phasma finished their evening meal. Many people were turning in for the night cycle.

She considered going for a late night training session, but as she approached the training facility she could sense Kylo's presence inside - it felt like an abyss of pure pain and rage. She wasn't in the mood to be around him at all. She couldn't allow his emotions to cloud her own judgement, not when she was apparently so close to becoming a true Sith Lord.

Instead she decided to retire to her quarters for the night and spend some time trying to meditate peacefully. She may have gotten lost on her way there, Hux had shown her to her living quarters late the previous day and she was yet to commit any of it to memory.

If anything, her room was certainly larger than the studio she had been afforded aboard Starkiller Base. Her bedroom was separated from the kitchenette and lounging area, and the refresher attached to her bedroom was _huge_.

She had no possessions aside for some bland clothes, therefore there had been nothing to salvage from her old quarters, things looked just as bland as they always had.

As she entered she shed her cloak, boots and Lightsaber. Before she could change into something more comfortable she noticed her data-pad flashing and remembered that she had a new schedule to look at.

The standout task on her daily schedule was training with the Knights of Ren late into the afternoon shift - something which hadn't been there for weeks. She groaned, loudly.

Now she couldn't possibly avoid Kylo Ren, but why had this only just been added to her schedule now?

_"I suggest you try and follow in her footsteps and take her training on board."_

She recalled Snoke's words from earlier. He was clearly the mastermind behind this scheme - if Darth Andal were thrown back into the mix with Kylo and his Knights it was with the intention that she assist in the training, passing on Vader's teachings. Of course, this would only deepen the rift between her and Kylo which was essentially what Snoke wanted. From her point of view he now viewed his apprentice's downfall as the catalyst for Andal's rise to power.

There was nothing she could do about it now. As she got ready to sit down cross-legged to meditate her mind was abuzz with possible scenarios of how the training session could play out. Perhaps Kylo would sleep on things and be fine - but that was less than likely.

Before she slipped off into a deep meditative state she admitted to herself that eventually her and Kylo would have to face up to things and stop ignoring the damage their conflict was doing to them both.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things only go from bad to worse - but eventually the two force-users find a way to settle their differences which doesn't involve holding their Lightsabers at each other's throats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: just a bit o' smut it's relevant to the plot I promise
> 
> Also unprotected sex oops

The Knights all had distinctive features on their helmets. Very subtle, but noticeable when you look.

Darth Andal eventually noticed, considering Kylo refused to let them train sans their helmets, she had been having trouble distinguishing them all unless they spoke.

"Again." Kylo huffed - he was talking to Kuruk and Trudgen who were sparring.

Things were becoming extremely tense and heated, and it all stemmed from Kylo. His energy was putting everyone on edge, so much so that Andal had not said a word since walking in. She had retired to sitting in the corner, peacefully trying to meditate in the hope that some of that energy would transfer to Kylo.

The two knights began sparring again, full-contact with their chosen weaponry. But Kylo quickly grew fed up with them.

"Enough. Sit down both of you." He barked, "You all need to unlock your rage, it is the source of _power._ " He began to lecture them all, and she rolled her eyes, she couldn't listen to his bullshit any longer - he wasn't training them with proper techniques he was using his own emotions to dictate everyone's actions.

"That's a lie and you know it." She scoffed, standing up. This was the first time they had spoken since the incident on the bridge and it wasn't looking likely that they were going to be getting along again anytime soon.

"You question my methods?" He snapped, turning to face her, "Last I checked they are the Knights of Ren, not the Knights of Andal."

"Yes well if you continue to let your own emotions dictate their training they will be _late_ Knights of Ren." She raised an eyebrow, and she knew she wasn't wrong. The Knights underwent a lot of dangerous missions, far more dangerous than the average stormtrooper, and if they weren't trained correctly they would surely wind up dead.

"This doesn't concern you." He roared, pointing his gloved hand at her.

"Maybe not, but my orders are to be here to oversee training and that means I'm going to call you out when you're being erratic." Her arms folded across her chest.

"Rage is a _weapon_!" He argued, the knights themselves were probably thankful that their expressions were hidden beneath their helmets.

"Yes, a powerful weapon." She spoke calmly, "But just the same as any other weapon, if you don't use it correctly you'll only end up hurting yourself. You can't just 'unlock' rage and expect everything to fall into place, you need to learn how to harness it and channel it correctly - and at the correct times." She was mirroring words Master Vader had spoken to her all those years ago, and the last part was said in a very pointed tone, clearly aimed at Kylo.

"You could unleash your rage on me any day." Cardo muttered under his breath, and his fellow knights all turned to him, clearly in disbelief. Even Darth Andal visibly cringed - he truly couldn't have picked a worse time to flirt. Sadly for him his Master had also heard the comment.

"You dare-" He roared, Cardo quickly flying through the air towards his master's hand, which quickly secured itself around his neck.

She couldn't believe this was happening _again._

"Kylo _stop_!" She yelled.

"M-Master Ren-" Cardo was spluttering.

"You need to learn some respect." Kylo's unstable energy was creeping into her conscious, and she could feel how painful and splitting it was.

She walked over and placed a hand on his tensed arm, speaking softly, "Let me help you." She had hoped that a softer approach would resonate with him.

Oh how wrong she was.

"I don't need anything from you." He snarled, sending her flying backwards with the Force - just as she had done to him the day before, simultaneously he dropped Cardo to the ground who moved back over to join his brothers.

Andal hauled herself to her feet, "No I'm sure you don't." She laughed, dryly, "Clearly you can cope just _fine_ without me, the two times I've saved your life are proof of that." Sarcasm was laced through her words, and it wasn't well received.

"Out." He briskly turned to the Knights, and they all rose to their feet and marched out in unison, some of them shooting Darth Andal a look which probably read as sympathetic.

"Now what? You draw your Saber and we fight. We storm off in different directions and don't speak. You keep hurting and making things difficult for us both, and then the whole cycle repeats?" Andal had had enough, she unclipped her hilt and dropped it to the floor, "I'm done fighting you Ren. We can't keep going on like this."

"Maybe we don't have a choice." He sounded exasperated, emotional even.

"You said it yourself that together we'd be powerful enough to rule the First Order." She reminded him of their conversation in the janitor's closet - back when they were still on good terms.

"No, _you're_ powerful enough - the Supreme Leader made that clear." He scoffed, his tone very spiteful.

"Why are you being so insufferable?" She sighed, "I'm possibly the only person in the galaxy who knows how you feel and can help you. You must be able to see that?"

"Because this is all your fault!" He finally snapped, raising his voice again slightly.

Andal was taken aback by this, her face conveying her confusion, "How is this my fault? Snoke has pitted us against each other for his own gain, not either of ours."

"This isn't about Snoke." He muttered. She had been assuming that his feelings were stemming from failing his master.

"Then what is it about?" She kept her tone level, gentle even.

"It's you..." His gaze was fixated on his feet, "you should never have saved me."

There is was, it felt like he had taken ahold of her heart and crushed it with his bare hands. He was angry that he was still _alive._

"Kylo-" She was at a loss for words, her mouth dry, "all of this, the lashing out, pushing me away, it's because you're upset that I saved you?"

"I don't deserve it, I'm a failure." He finally looked back up and met her gaze, his eyes now showing the defeat and pain and that she knew he was feeling. The same pain she had been trying to push away.

"That's what Snoke wants you to believe." She took a step closer to him, "All this rage and hate that you're directing at yourself, he wants to break you. Don't let him."

"I know." He was quick to jump to his own defence, "But I can't stop feeling it. Which is why you should have left me in that forest."

"Tell me, if the roles were reversed and it had been me dying in the snow, would you have left me?" The silence that hung in the air after she spoke made her nauseous, was Kylo about to make her look like a fool?

"You know I couldn't do that." His voice was hoarse, breaking even.

"So why do you think I could?" She challenged him, her eyes softening. He looked surprised by her response, as if he didn't believe that she felt the same way he did - ironic really considering he shared her mind.

His lips were on hers before she could react, but she was quick to melt into the kiss. She had forgotten how explosive their embraces were, and she would much rather be doing this than arguing with him.

He roughly pulled her against his chest, his hand moving to tug at her hair. Their last kiss had shown Kylo up to be a bit inexperienced, but now she wouldn't have thought it at all. His rage and passion was all being directed at her, just not in a violent way for once.

Andal's hands had snaked up his chest and secured themselves behind his neck. Within moments his tongue was forcing its way into her mouth, but she wasn't complaining.

Eventually her head caught up with her and she wondered how the fuck things had come to this. At each other's throats one minute and tongues in each other's mouths the next.

When they had to part for air Kylo's hand remained tangled in her hair , their lips only hovering mere inches from one another.

"How's this for channeling my rage?" He asked, breathlessly, a smirk forming on his lips.

"I prefer it to us trying to kill each other... marginally." She teased him, but was silenced by his lips once again in a ferocious kiss. There was still residual anger between them; she had embarrassed him in the debrief, and he had just been a jerk to her since he woke up, and all of that was channeled into this kiss.

"Come with me." He broke them apart again, and reluctantly pulled away from her, making his way to the blast doors.

Andal wordless followed, summoning the Saber hilt she had previously dropped back to her hand to clip to her belt.

They walked in synchronisation through the Supremacy, the sexual tension between the two of them was nearly unbearable. Neither of them were any good at expressing or processing emotions, and in their current circumstances this was the best way for them to deflect their feelings.

Neither of them said a word, but Andal knew roughly where they were, her quarters were a few halls away.

Suddenly Kylo turned and disappeared behind a set of blast doors, grabbing her hand and pulling her in beside him. Just as soon as he had grabbed her, she was being tugged back against his chest in a heated kiss. The doors shut behind them, and she could only assume that these were in his quarters, but she was a bit preoccupied for the full tour.

Behind her back Kylo was pulling his gloves off and tossing them to the ground, and without faltering the kiss for a moment he unclipped his hilt, his other hand moving to unclip her own, and placed them on a table he was backing her up against.

He lifted her to sit on the table, and her legs wrapped themselves around his waist. In the meantime her hands were working on shedding him of some of his many layers. She had noticed that he had new robes, different to the floor length ones he had worn before. But these ones certainly weren't easy to take off.

After a few moments of fumbling Kylo eventually mumbled against her lips, "Fastener on the back." And he didn't have to tell her twice, she located it and was quick to pull the top layer of his tunic off him, throwing it to the ground. From there she easily unzipped his under armour layer and he helped her shrug it off her shoulders which left him in just his undershirt.

_Do you wear enough layers?_

She thought - loudly.

"Shut up." He grumbled, lips moving to kiss along her jaw and down to her neck. Meanwhile his hands were working on unfastening the cloak he had gifted her, which quickly sunk away from her shoulders

Kylo tugged at the hem of her shirt, and she raised her arms so he could pull it over her head and discard it on the floor on top of the growing pile of garments.

A slight chill hit her bare skin, the Supremacy wasn't as cold as Starkiller, but she still wouldn't call it warm - and Kylo clearly didn't keep the thermostat of his quarters as high as she did.

As if he had sensed her thoughts his huge hands were moving around her torso, spreading heat in their wake as he continued to pepper kisses along her neck.

Following his lead, she pulled up the bottom of his shirt and he faltered for a split second, but was quick to step back and tug his own shirt over his head, tossing it aside.

Maker he was built like a pile of bricks, everywhere her hands roamed was just solid muscle and she _certainly_ let her hands roam.

Kylo scooped her up, hands beneath her thighs, and began trekking towards another room, whilst he moved she left slow, painfully teasing kisses on his neck until eventually she bit down, causing a low groan to emit from his throat.

The blast doors closed behind them, and he threw her back onto the bed, at which point she was quick to kick off her boots, him following this lead.

His huge frame crawled on top of her and met her with another passionate kiss, but things didn't seem to be moving much from there. There was still so much fervour between them, but it struck Andal that Kylo seemed to have hit a wall with what to do, and damn all she wanted was for him to touch her.

Just as quickly as the thought crossed her mind, his hand was trailing around her chest to fumble with her bra clasp, although he was having little luck so she stepped in and easily unclipped it herself, and he swiftly yanked it off and tossed it aside.

With her chest now exposed Kylo used one hand to cup each of her breasts one by one, his thumb grazing over her nipples which caused small bursts of heat to flush through her body.

Meanwhile, his other hand travelled further down to the waistband of her trousers, which he began to tug down, and with her assistance they were kicked off.

She was already wet, just from the thought of what was to come along with their fiery kisses.

Two of his fingers slipped past her underwear, and when they brushed against her clit the bundle of nerves sent sparks flying throughout her body and a light moan passed her lips. Kylo took that as a sign to keep going and began to rub slow circles around her clit, _painfully slow._

Maker she had missed this. Sure it hadn't been conventional, but whilst with the Empire she occasionally would have indulged herself by taking an attractive officer to the bed for the night. There were no rules against it, but it certainly wasn't the kind of thing her and Master Vader would have openly discussed.

But _this,_ this was totally different. There was an intimacy that she had never felt before and she didn't want it to stop. All she could think about was Kylo Ren's face between her thighs.

Turns out she didn't have to think about it for long, because he was suddenly moving to pepper kisses across her thighs. Within moments his tongue was flicking against that bundle of nerves and she threw her head back against the pillow.

"Stars Kylo..." She moaned, and his small groan of approval just sent even more vibrations through her body.

He was just a centimetre too far left to be hitting her clit at the most pleasurable point, and sure enough as she though it he moved and her back involuntarily arched in response.

Her hands had tangled through his black curls, and she could feel an orgasm fast approaching. But he pulled back with a sly smirk on his face. If only he knew he knew how hot he looked gazing up at her, his mouth covered in her slick.

With the sudden loss of contact she looked at him _offended._ How could he have known she was close to climaxing?

"Not yet." He commented in a low, raspy tone.

With her hands still buried in his hair she tugged him back up to her lips, and she could vaguely taste herself on his tongue. Her hand went to work palming Kylo's bulge through his trousers and he inhaled a sharp breath, which caused her to smirk - two could play at the teasing game.

She rolled onto her side and used one hand to push Kylo onto his back. She began to kiss down his firm chest, and painstakingly slowly started to push his trousers down.

Clearly in a hurry to speed up the process he kicked his trousers off as soon as humanly possible.

"Patience Ren." She teased, a cocky smirk on her face as she resumed palming him, now with only his underwear in the way.

"I hate you." He exhaled, the anticipation clearly getting to him.

"No you don't." She quipped, finally pulling his underwear away, allowing his cock to spring free.

Without hesitation she took his length into her mouth and went to work. He immediately let out a throaty groan.

She knew how to pleasure a man, even if she was slightly out of practise. One hand moved to cup his balls, not hard enough to hurt him. Meanwhile her other hand gripped the base of his cock to encompass anything that wouldn't fit in her mouth, and moved in synchronisation she she bobbed her head.

" _Kriff-_ " Kylo exhaled, his hand gripping onto a fistful of her hair.

She could _feel_ his pleasure, it was coming off him in waves and it only turned her on even more, which made her crave to be fucked. As she continued to suck Kylo's dick to the best of her ability, her mind was racing ahead of time picturing him ramming into her, making her cum whilst screaming his name, his hand at her throat-

Within a second Kylo had yanked her head back and threw her onto her back, and something struck her.

"You've never done this before have you." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Is it that obvious?" He looked sheepish all of a sudden, and she laughed quietly.

"No, it isn't. But I can tell you're seeing my thoughts." She leaned up to peck his lips, whispering against them, "And you can get round to fucking me whenever you want." She teased.

Now knowing that Kylo was using her as a guide, she reached down and lined his cock up with her entrance which prompted him to push his hips forward.

He filled her, and she took a moment to adjust to his sheer size before pulling his lips down to meet hers, which he took as the green light to begin thrusting.

His pace started slow, but when she wrapped her legs around his waist and used them to speed up his thrusts he was quick to comply.

"Fuck Ren." She buried her face in the crook of his neck to silence her moans, biting and sucking on his pale skin which enticed a few grunts from him.

Andal had never slept with a Force-user, and when she felt the familiar sensation of the Force applying pressure to her clit she dug her nails into Kylo's back and couldn't stifle the uncontrollable moan. It was _so_ much better than doing it herself.

"You feel so good-" Kylo gruffly said through laboured breaths whilst his large hand moved to clutch her throat.

The combination of the Force teasing her clit and Ren's erratic thrusts were pushing her closer and closer to the edge. On top of that she could still feel his pleasure, and she assumed he felt hers vice versa - her whole body was flooded with heat and lust, it was more pleasure than she had ever experienced. 

"Kylo, I'm going to cum-" She breathlessly said, the knot in her stomach becoming so unbearable she _needed_ release.

"Cum for me." He tightened his grip on her throat, and the sensation combined with his words was all she needed to tip over the edge.

Her orgasm hit in waves, and she screamed his name as he continued to pound into her at a vicious pace. All of the rage and hate they had been directing at one another had been channelled into sex, and neither of them were quick to complain.

" _Stars-_ " He swore, his movements become more sloppy as he got closer to his own climax.

As she rode out her own orgasm, Kylo wasn't far behind, cursing as he thrust into her one last time when his release came.

Kylo eventually rolled off her and lay flat on his back, catching his breath whilst she did the same from beside him, all of a sudden feeling very exposed.

She was lying there naked on the bed of the man she was supposed to destroy in order to get to the top. But equally he was the man who made her stronger, and seemed to be the other half of her very being.

Neither of them said a word, the atmosphere was icy. Not because they were still mad at each other, but because they had just crossed every professional boundary in the book - where were they supposed to go from here?

"'Fresher's over there." Kylo soon mumbled, and she was relieved to have an escape route from their situation.

All she needed was to wash the remnants of sex off her body and then she'd be able to think more clearly.

The warm water hit her, and she was content to just stand there for a while. She found some soap and gave herself a thorough wash, and when she noticed the remnants of Kylo's release dripping down her thighs she made a very prominent mental note to get herself some contraceptive from the Med Bay in the morning. The Empire had made all female officers have regular birth control injections, and she clearly had become too complacent without that rule being in place anymore.

Once she felt sufficiently clean, she dried her body and hair off before wrapping a towel around her body. If only she hadn't left her kriffing clothes scattered around Ren's quarters.

_Can you get my clothes?_

She silently asked him, and she could hear him moving the other side of the blast doors. They soon flung open and he wordlessly handed her a pile of black fabrics. He himself was now dressed in just black slacks and this was the first time she had properly looked at his bare chest from afar, and he was undeniably stacked.

She noticed the scar that now divided his face stretched all the way down towards his shoulder, but she didn't want to stare - it was still a fresh wound for Kylo both figuratively and literally.

"Thanks." She muttered, and he turned and left to allow her to dress.

Andal had assumed that the pile of black clothing was hers, but what Kylo had actually afforded her was her underwear and a long sleeved black undershirt that was clearly his. With a roll of her eyes she threw it on for lack of a better option, and it drowned her, the hem easily reaching her mid-thigh.

She ran a hand through her wet hair and walked back out into his room, where he was sat on the bed.

"I was pretty sure I specified _my_ clothes." She raised her arms slightly to demonstrate how big the sleeves were on her.

"I'm not running around picking up after you." He snorted, passing her to walk into the 'fresher and moments later she heard the sound of running water.

She took this time to go back out into the main living area of his quarters to grab her top and cloak. She did consider bringing Kylo's robes back in to him, but she was petty - if he wasn't going to bring her clothes to her she wouldn't bring his.

Once she had gathered her garments she headed back towards his bedroom to change, but there was an energy that stopped her for a moment. It was... familiar, but equally different. She sought a sense of comfort in it.

Just as she was about to go and investigate the source of it she could hear Kylo in the bedroom.

"Andal?" He had called, and she shook off the curious energy and went back to him.

"Yeah?" She caught his attention and he turned to face her, his hair now wet to match her own.

"Oh-" He looked sheepish, "I thought you'd left." He sat on the edge of his bed, his eyes not leaving her for a second.

"I was just getting my clothes, then I'll go." She exhaled a small laugh and scooped up her trousers and bra.

_And you didn't get mine._

She heard him huff inside her head.

"Yeah well that's how it feels." She rolled her eyes and made her way to the refresher to change. It was late, she was exhausted and there was no point hanging around so her and Kylo would have to address everything that had happened in the past few hours.

"Wait-" He quickly said when she moved towards the 'fresher.

Andal turned back to face him, a confused look on her face. Did he want round two?

Kylo looked as though his mouth had gone dry, so she prompted him slightly, "Kylo-"

"Stay." He interrupted her.

She was taken aback by this. Sure, neither of them knew what _this_ was, but if there's one thing Andal had ever experienced it was people sticking around after sex.

"Okay." She found herself quietly agreeing before she could even process it. Content with this answer, Kylo said nothing else and laid down on the bed.

Andal dropped the pile of clothes she was holding and moved over to join him, happy to crawl under the warmth of the blankets.

He switch off the light and they each rolled onto their sides to go to sleep, but there was still a painful amount of tension in the air.

Eventually Kylo was the one to break it, he rolled over and shuffled to lay with his chest pressed to Andal's back, his arm snaking around her waist to pull her closer to him.

Despite the arguing, the constant threats of killing one another and angry-sex, everything just felt right as she drifted off to sleep in his arms.

Where had Kylo Ren been all of her life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay apologies if the smut is terrible I'm not great at writing it tbh


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their night together, the mood quickly turns when Darth Andal makes a discovery in Kylo Ren's quarters, and along with it she finds out some haunting personal truths.

Was it real? Stupid question, of course it was real - why would anybody have a replica of Vader's charred helmet in their quarters.

Her heart ached to look at it. She had woken early, plagued by this mysterious Force presence in Kylo's quarters and she couldn't ignore it any longer. She had left him soundly sleeping in his bed, and now without that warmth there were goosebumps rising on her skin, or maybe those were just coming from the eerie Force presence.

It was calling to her, and as much as it unnerved her to see the skull of the closest person she had to a father figure laying in front of her, she couldn't help her curiosity. Pushing back the sleeve of Kylo's shirt to expose her hand, she reached forward and pressed her hand to the helmet, inhaling a sharp breath as the Force transported her.

The scene before her was familiar. Palpatine sat atop his throne, Vader stood solemnly before him. The only thing that struck her as odd was that she wasn't there, she was simply an onlooker in the Force.

"Why is the girl still alive?" The Emperor's sinister voice chilled her to her bones.

"She is strong with the Force, stronger than most. I believe she could be useful to us." Vader's mechanical voice protested.

"Do not allow Anakin Skywalker's personal attachments to cloud your judgement, Lord Vader. The girl is _dangerous._ "

Vader's hands balled into fists, a trait she recognised well, one she knew that Kylo had inherited. "I am thinking practically, Master. I sense the Rebels now harbour a Force-sensitive and if I were to take on an apprentice, we could wipe them out with ease."

Palpatine looked skeptical, but he was clearly considering things, "She has too many attachments, she is not capable of embracing the dark side."

"She feels grief and rage, with the correct training she could be a powerful Sith Lord." Vader retorted.

Palpatine exhaled a wheezy sigh. "Bring her to me. If you are to train her, her memories will be wiped and you will remove any... _evidence,_ of her past from the base."

"Yes, Master." With that Vader stalked off, and the scene before her disintegrated.

It was replaced with sandy dunes, the same ones she had seen in a dream she'd had aboard Starkiller.

If she had ever heard Darth Vader complain about one thing, it was sand - he hated the stuff. Now watching him trek across the desert landscape was almost laughable, she knew he would have been less than happy about it.

In his gloved mechanical hand she could see a Lightsaber hilt and brown robes. The hilt certainly wasn't his, it was sleeker than the one she now wielded.

The scene shifted to Vader in a small hut, locking both the robe and hilt away in a wooden crate. There was nobody inside the hut, but it still looked as though it had been lived in not long ago.

She recognised the planet in the back of her mind but couldn't fully place it. It wasn't somewhere she remembered ever going with her Master.

"Lord Vader, the Emperor is asking after your status." A voice rang out through a comms device.

"Tell the Emperor that it is done, I will be returning from Tatooine shortly."

_Tatooine._

She was violently shaken out of the vision, stumbling back a few steps as she tried to catch her breath. She was panting, resting a hand against the wall to support her frame.

Before she could even begin to process everything she had just seen the blast doors flew open and a pair of bare arms slowly wrapped themselves around her waist from behind.

Of course he had seen it.

"I didn't mean to wake you." She quietly said as he gently pulled her back against his chest.

"I know." He mumbled, leaning down to press a few soothing kisses to her shoulder, where the shirt she wore had fallen away, exposing her skin.

She finally allowed herself to relax into his embrace. Every time he had come rushing to her quarters after she had dreamt these visions, she always remained on edge about the things she saw but now she finally allowed Kylo to be there for her.

Her head turned to look at the scorched helmet, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Kylo slowly turned her figure round to face him, her arms resting on his chest.

"I didn't know how to." He admitted.

She remained silent for a few moments. In another time she would have been angry at Kylo for keeping something so personal to her a secret, but since the night before something had shifted between them. There was a deeper understanding and respect for one another, neither of them could fight the connection any longer.

"Tatooine." She eventually said, and Kylo raised an eyebrow.

"What about it?"

"I need to go there." Her mind was slowly catching up and processing everything she had seen. The hurt was beginning to wash over her that Vader had been complicit in removing her memories. It wasn't just hurt, it was betrayal, that man had taught her everything she knew, but now it seemed as though in doing so he had simultaneously erased everything once she knew.

"How are you planning on getting there? Surely not flying - you'll kill yourself." He teased, and she responded by playfully slapping his chest.

"No..." She trailed off, before looking up at him, hopefully, "You're going to fly me there." Curse not being able to pilot, otherwise she would have been in the hanger within minutes.

Kylo let out a dry laugh, "You think two Commanders can just take off for a desert wasteland in the outer-rim and nobody will bat an eyelid?"

"You think I care?" She challenged him, and he smirked slightly at this.

"Of course _you_ don't, but we're not all in Snoke's good books right now." Whereas just the day before he would have spoken this in a bitter, resentful tone, he now said it somewhat lightheartedly. Regardless, he wasn't directing his hate towards Darth Andal anymore.

"So that's it? I have a vision and we never speak of it again?"

He sighed, "No, that's not it. I'll take you to Tatooine - just not right now." He looked apologetic, and she appreciated that at the very least.

"You're so lucky I don't know how to pilot." She grumbled, and he just responded by pressing a kiss to her forehead, after which she wriggled out of his grip and made her way back to the bedroom, Kylo following.

"I'll teach you someday." He remarked as he followed her.

She glanced at the chrono as she entered Kylo's room. The morning shift was just beginning.

As much as Andal wanted to crawl back into bed with Kylo and pretend that things weren't now beyond complicated between them, she knew they both had to get on with their days. With that in mind she scooped up her clothes and went to the 'fresher to change - and this time he didn't stop her.

When she returned, he was half dressed in his robes and she looked at him with a small smile.

They were silent for a moment, neither of them knew what to say.

"I'll see you later." She eventually said. It wasn't what she had wanted to say but her mouth wouldn't form the words.

She had wanted to tell him that she had enjoyed last night, that she felt more balanced in the Force because of him, and she was relieved that they weren't arguing anymore. But she said none of it.

As she left she grabbed her Lightsaber from the table beside the blast doors to Kylo's quarters, and checked the coast was clear before leaving.

_Me too._

She heard in her head and she paused to smile. Sometimes it was convenient to have him hear her thoughts, it meant to she didn't have to say the difficult things.

As she went about her day the vision she had seen was constantly plaguing her mind. She didn't want to believe that Master Vader had betrayed her, but the evidence seemed to be staring her in the face.

Then again, Palpatine had wanted her dead. Was Vader saving her life? Would it have been kinder for him to have let her die?

Not even beginning to mention the 'personal attachments.' She knew little of Vader's past life as Anakin Skywalker, he would sometimes have begun to tell her stories and quickly silenced himself; for fear of what? Palpatine?

"Commander Andal?" Hux looked at her, concerned.

From across the conference table Kylo's face was stoic as ever, but he knew exactly why she had been distracted.

"Yes General." She straightened in her seat, clearing her throat.

"I asked if you could offer any insight into how we might proceed once the Resistance has been destroyed? You're familiar with the internal workings of the Empire, I thought we might adopt their governing structure."

She was like a deer caught in headlights, and just before she could get her head straight and start spluttering out an answer, Kylo interjected.

"We shouldn't be following the model of a failed organisation." He said, and Hux look immediately exasperated by his input.

"I wasn't asking you Ren, and besides you have no personal insight into-"

"No." Darth Andal interjected, "He's right."

That certainly caught the attention of everyone in the conference room, even Kylo looked somewhat surprised to hear her outwardly agreeing with him.

"Did I mishear you, or did you two just agree on something?" Hux raised an eyebrow in sheer disbelief.

"The Empire fell due to an uprising of rebels. If you want to avoid that happening again then you don't want to make the same mistakes. Take planetary relationships for example, people sided with the Rebellion because the Empire wasn't listening, we were too complacent." Perhaps she had some personal agenda toward the First Order here, but if they were going to build a new Empire perhaps she could interject something good into it.

Kylo looked very satisfied with her answer, and they exchanged a knowing glance across the table.

At Hux's request she delved deeper into the internal workings of the Empire, and it seemed as though everyone in the conference room was hanging on her every word. She remembered it like it was yesterday, but these were things others had only read about in reports.

"You and Darth Vader, where did you fall into all of this?" He asked, and it was a topic which she suddenly found herself struggling to discuss. She felt so much betrayal after the vision that she didn't _know_ where she fell into it.

"We were... enforcers. For lack of a better word." She finally said, "Technically Master Vader was Supreme Commander and I was his apprentice, but our role was really just to carry out Palpatine's bidding."

"I don't care for that tone, Commander Andal." Lieutenant Quinn spoke up. 

She turned to look down the table, an eyebrow raised, "Meaning, Lieutenant?"

"The way you speak of the late Emperor Palpatine suggests that you disagree with the idea of having a supreme ruler? Does that mean you're defying the rule of our own Supreme Leader?" He was challenging her just to be difficult, that much was obvious.

"That's clearly not what I'm saying-" She began, only to be interrupted.

"But it _sounds_ like that." Quinn snidely remarked, and this time Kylo spoke before she could.

"It sounds like bitterness to me Quinn." He snorted, and everyone looked surprised to see him talk so outwardly. Usually he remained silent unless it was to choke Hux to death.

"I agree." Hux said, and that caught everyone's attention, "Commander Andal is offering us expertise that is not to be overlooked. What I gathered is that there needs to be command in _addition_ to a Supreme Leader."

_First me, now Hux. You're on a roll at getting people to agree with you today._

She teased him, and he shot her a look across the table.

_He's defending you, not your words._

Kylo was right. But he was jumping to conclusions, she could read Hux like a book written for younglings.

Both men had defended her because they cared for her, albeit in _very_ different ways. What Kylo probably assumed was romantic feelings, was actually just her and Hux having a mutual respect for one another. They did both care for each other, just not in that way.

_Don't be jealous Kylo, I'll remind you I slept in your bed last night not Hux's._

She was nauseous at the mere thought of being in bed with the general.

_I'm not jealous._

Even in her head she could hear his defensive tone.

_You're convincing nobody. But I'm flattered._

She teased him, and she could see him fighting off a smirk. Without his mask he would finally know how hard it was to have their mental conversations whilst keeping a straight face.

Hux had been giving another monologue whilst the two Force-users were distracted by their own conversation, but they tuned back in just in time for the General to dismiss everyone.

Once back out on the bridge most officers scattered to attend to their own matters, and on this occasion Darth Andal had hoped that she could slip off to attend to her own matters, but she was never quite so lucky.

Phasma was waiting for her once again, "Lunch?" She casually suggested.

Nearby Ren and Hux were both overhearing their conversation.

"If you can wait I'll meet you there soon, I have to go to the Med Bay first." Andal shrugged.

She thought Phasma was unlikely to quiz her about the Med Bay trip considering so many officers had been called in for check ups since transferring from Starkiller, and she was right.

"I'll see you there." Her friend nodded, and took her leave.

Having not noticed the two men who had been nosy enough to listen into her conversation she marched off in the direction of the blast doors but within seconds Kylo was catching her up and walking alongside her.

"Med Bay?" He immediately asked.

"Kriff, you and Hux are good listeners." She rolled her eyes, "And yes, what about it?"

"Why do you need the Med Bay? Is everything okay?" The worry that laced its way through his tone was endearing really. It was nice to know he cared.

"Everything's fine." She chuckled, before lowering her voice before speaking her next words, "I just need a contraceptive."

Kylo's face reddened at this and she shot him a look that read, 'pull yourself together we're in public.'

"Shall I... come with you?" He hesitantly asked, and she shook her head, a small smile on her lips.

"No, I'd rather not explain why Kylo Ren is escorting me to get a contraceptive."

"Good point." He stopped when they got to the blast doors which led to the Med Bay, "Then I'll see you later."

He was acting awkwardly, and she couldn't blame him. Now neither of them knew if last night was going to be a one off or if now they were something more, and neither of them were willing to start that conversation.

"Bye Ren." She said, disappearing behind the blast doors.

The Med Bay was far less packed than it had been a few days ago, and within moments of entering a young nurse approached her.

"Commander, may I help at all?" He politely asked.

"Yes I need to see a doctor, preferably a female one." She quickly added the last part on.

"Of course Commander, if you just wait over there I'll send someone in." He gestured towards a nearby blast door and she nodded.

The room was just a small consultation room, and she sat in the chair which was obviously designated for patients.

Andal was stressed. Not because she was embarrassed about asking for contraceptive (although she wasn't entirely sure what the First Order policy on sex between officers was), but because she knew how quickly gossip spread around.

"Commander Andal, what can I do for you?" The same young female doctor she had spoken to when Ren woke up entered the room and sat opposite her behind a desk.

She inhaled a deep breath, "I need a contraceptive."

"I can arrange that." The doctor's face remained straight, but Andal could easily sense her curiosity in this scenario.

"Doctor, I do hope that you'll respect patient confidentiality here." She spoke in a pointed tone, and the woman nodded vigorously.

"O-of course Commander, this is a more common scenario than you'd expect." She stammered as she stood up to begin rummaging through a cupboard full of a variety of medications. Eventually she pulled out a small box which only contained one pill and handed it over.

"Thank you." She said, her mind suddenly racing. She categorically did not trust this doctor. The whole base would know within a few days that one of their Commanders was allegedly sleeping around - although that wasn't even the truth.

"You will tell nobody of this." She was speaking the words and tapping into the Force before she could think it through.

"I will tell nobody of this." The doctor repeated in a low monotone, and before she could say anything else Andal had slipped the pill into her pocket and left.

Perhaps that wasn't the 'morally correct' thing to do, but morals weren't exactly at the top of her priority list these days. She had stood idyll and watched an entire governing body be destroyed, she definitely didn't morally agree with that but here she was still working for the First Order.

Nobody could know about her and Ren. If people knew, Snoke would find out and she dreaded to think what would happen if he found out.

"You and Ren seem to be getting on better." In the Mess Hall, Phasma somehow brought up the one person she didn't want to talk about as the pair of them picked at their food.

"Because we agreed with each other once?" She chuckled, "I think you're turning it into something it's not."

"Turning what into something it's not?" Hux's voice suddenly joined their conversation and he joined their table, sat beside Phasma. Turns out having a separate dining area for High Command really was more likely to make Hux use the Mess Hall during the day.

" _Nothing._ " Andal groaned, distracting herself with her food.

"I was just pointing out that Commanders Andal and Ren seem to be getting along suddenly." For a woman who was usually so stoic and straight talking, Phasma really did love teasing her.

"Yes, I actually did notice." Hux was clearly going along with the game here, had he grown a sense of humour suddenly?

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we _all_ agree that Quinn was being a dense nerf-herder?" She challenged, eyeing Hux in particularly, "You also agreed with Ren."

"A rare occurrence, yes." He grimaced, "But I suppose I can't complain if you're not having fights in the middle of meetings."

"You say that like I start them." She raised an eyebrow, a smirk crossing her lips.

Before Hux could respond Andal's face was screwing into a frown, she felt a familiar energy approach, but since when did he ever show his face in the Mess Hall?

When she had first felt Kylo's energy it had been this dark shroud that made her feel uneasy, but now feeling his presence was like a warm, metaphorical blanket being put around her shoulders.

"What is it?" Hux asked her, noticing her expression change.

"It's just-"

When Kylo entered the room, all heads briefly turned in his direction, surprised to see him there. He swiped up a tray loaded with food and sat beside Andal without a word.

Nobody spoke at first, Hux, Phasma and Andal exchanging slightly confused glances.

"What?" He eventually spoke first, his mouth full of food.

"Please, Ren, spare us and don't speak with your mouth full." Hux looked utterly horrified, meanwhile Andal and Phasma were looking at one another and silently wondering how their regular lunch date had become a group affair.

Kylo simply rolled his eyes in response, and whilst everyone was distracted by their own food she surreptitiously popped out the pill she had been hiding and threw it into her mouth, followed by a gulp of water.

"What was that?" Of course Phasma noticed, but she played it off easily.

"Just a painkiller. Ren twisted my wrist yesterday in training, pretty sure it was on purpose." She scoffed, feigning their usual rivalry that people expected from them. As far as she was concerned they needed to go on pretending to hate one another.

She could see the confusion cross Kylo's face and before he could open his mouth to protest she kicked him subtly under the table.

_Don't say anything stupid._

He looked at her, offended, and she kicked him again to remind him that other people could actually see his face now. After a moment his brain caught up and he realised what the pill she had taken was actually for.

"Ren I hope you're not going to purposely incapacitate Commander Andal." Hux sighed.

"Like he ever could." She quietly snorted.

"I could." He retorted, rolling his eyes. Having polished off his own mountain of food he was eyeing her almost-full tray.

With a sigh she pushed her tray towards him and allowed him to finish the remainder of her food.

"You wouldn't even come close." She huffed.

"Forget I said anything." Hux heaved a sigh, sensing a domestic about to break out between the two of them.

Their meal finished largely in silence. Phasma and Hux exchanged a few words about the Resistance and how they were becoming dangerously low on fuel still. It was a long pursuit, but they calculated that tomorrow would be the end of the line for them.

Until then Kylo and Andal had an afternoon of training with the Knights. Cardo kept his flirtatious comments to himself, but they all seemed to respond well to their Master's improved mood.

Her and Kylo exchanged few words throughout the afternoon shift, and as they approached the night shift he dismissed the Knights, she left alongside them.

"Did you and Master Ren patch things up after yesterday?" Ushar had asked.

She had wondered if his comment was pointed and the Knights knew something, but his tone had seemed genuine. She told him that they had just had a yelling match and then beaten each other up slightly.

At least the yelling match part was true.

Considering she had turned in early for the night she had taken a long time showering and trying to clear her mind.

She couldn't shake that vision she had seen. After years of wondering why Palpatine hated her so much and tortured her for being a 'weakness' to Vader she was on the brink of knowing why.

All she had to do was get to Tatooine.

Andal considered this as she dressed in her regular shirt and shorts to sleep in, but she didn't see herself getting any sleep. Tatooine was all that had been on her mind.

Piloting couldn't be _that_ hard right?

_You are not stealing a ship and flying to Tatooine._

She rolled her eyes, despite Kylo not being able to see her.

_And you're going to stop me are you?_

_Obviously._

Andal didn't respond to him after this. She sat on her bed, still trying to clear her mind but that task was seeming impossible.

She was running over every time she had been called a failure and a weakness by Palpatine. Every time he had struck her with that kriffing lightning and caused her to suffer, it was because he had wanted her dead from the beginning.

Why had Vader been so insistent on saving her just to stand by and watch her suffer.

"Stop."

Kylo's voice from the doorway caused her to jump back into reality.

"What are you doing here?" She sighed.

"You think I haven't noticed you thinking about this all day?" He was dressed just in a t-shirt and slacks, he looked as though he had been getting ready to turn in for the night himself.

"How can I not? It was fine when I had nothing, but now I'm so close." She exhaled a sigh.

"In a few days the Resistance will be destroyed, then Skywalker will be all that's left. We'll go as soon as we can." He sat beside her on the bed and gently reassured her.

"Kylo you have no idea what it's like not _knowing_. I can't go on like this for much longer, it's distracting me too much and Snoke will find out." There were about a million things stressing her out, but Snoke finding out was a big one.

"I have an idea of what it's like. I can feel it." He tried to console her as best he could, and in truth he did know better than anyone else how she was feeling. "Snoke won't know."

"He expects me to complete my journey to the dark side, and I'm not even sure that's what I want - or if that's what Master Vader ever wanted for me. I just-"

"-Listen," he interrupted, taking one of her hands in his, "you're going to go to sleep, and tomorrow we'll destroy the Resistance, then we'll go to Tatooine and work this out together." This was a softer side to Kylo Ren, one she rarely saw and most people probably didn't think existed.

"Okay." She conceded, exhaling a sigh.

He rose to his feet, but she kept a hold of his hand and gently tugged him back towards her, "Stay?" She found herself mirroring his words from the night before. Part of her didn't want to be alone, and the other part of her just didn't want to be away from Kylo.

Kylo didn't say anything, he just shed his t-shirt and discarded it onto the floor before settling into the bed beside her.

Tonight there was no hesitation, he pulled her against his chest and she was more than happy to settle in his arms.

Her mind was finally at ease, and she suspected that Kylo was sending her some kind of calming energy through the Force.

Since Starkiller she had been missing something, the past few days hadn't been the same until now. She realised that it was balance, and Kylo was her balance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure a lot of you are starting to piece things together now, it's allll gonna kick off soon


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite Luke's warnings, Rey still believes that Ben Solo can be redeemed and if she insists on wading into the middle of the First Order, he thinks it's important that she knows the truth about Darth Andal.
> 
> Meanwhile, things are finally looking up for Andal and Ren - they've never been closer. But peace never seems to last long...

"You don't understand!" Rey protested as she marched after Luke Skywalker, the man she had heard so many legends about.

They did say never meet your heroes, and when she had come to Ahch-To searching for him, she had definitely not expected his frosty reception.

Even after having coaxed him into training her, he was ready to banish her from the island at the mere suggestion that Ben Solo could be redeemed.

"You need to leave this place." He had given her a lesson, but she wasn't grasping that the Jedi Order was dead, and Kylo Ren was beyond saving. "I failed my nephew, and there's nothing I can do to change that."

"You failed him by thinking his choice was made, it wasn't. There is still conflict in him. If he turned from the dark side, that could shift the tide. This could be how we win!" She was so enthusiastic and sure of herself, Luke hadn't seen anything like that in well... _years._

"And what makes you so sure?" He scoffed.

"Because I saw it!" She protested, "He is divided between light and dark, and Darth Andal is the only thing keeping him rooted there."

Luke whipped round at this, his face in disbelief, "So she did survive..."

Rey paused for a moment, Leia had told her very little about the mysterious woman. All she knew was that Darth Andal had been the apprentice of Darth Vader and served the Galactic Empire. "You don't sound surprised." She pointed out.

"Because I'm not." He sat himself down on a rock, taking in a long breath of air, "she was always meant to make it."

"What do you mean?" With storming off now the last thing on her mind, Rey sat opposite him.

"I blamed myself for her fall to the dark side, but now I know that it was necessary. She belongs here." Luke appeared deep in thought, thinking back to his youth - the moment he had seen a young woman fall to the dark before his very eyes.

"Her fall to the dark side? Was she a Jedi?" Rey's eyes were wide, and she leaned forward as Luke spoke, hanging on every word.

"Not exactly." He was closed off, there were clearly details he didn't want to tell her. "You think she's the only thing keeping him rooted in the dark, what makes you so sure?" Luke was skeptical, he knew that Darth Andal had a destiny but what that destiny was? He didn't know.

"When I saw inside Kylo Ren's head, it wasn't just him. It was both of them, like they share a mind. Then when Chewie shot him I saw her fall too - she felt the same pain. I know it sounds crazy but it's like they're-"

"-like they're connected." Luke interrupted, finally piecing together a puzzle inside his own head. "It's because they are, they were always supposed to be. You can't disrupt the path they're on, they're too powerful for you to stop."

"I have to try! We can't just let them win!" Rey continued to protest, but Luke solemnly raised a hand to silence her.

"It's not about letting them win. You have to trust in the Force, when the time is right you will know, and so will they." Luke's tone remained calm and steady, he knew much more than he was letting on, and that frustrated Rey.

"We can't just sit by and wait for something to happen that may _never_ happen! If I go to them, Ben Solo will turn and if what you say is true, maybe Darth Andal will too." She rose to her feet, preparing to leave.

"Rey... don't do this." He warned, remaining seated.

"They are our last hope." She softly responded, before turning away.

"Wait-" Luke rose to his feet, and Rey paused, "There's something you need to know about her."

><><><><><><><><><><

"No you didn't."

"I'm telling you I did."

"I don't believe you."

"How can you not believe me? You can read my mind."

"You cut down a flying X-Wing with your Saber?" Kylo snorted.

"It's easy when you know how." Andal smirked at him.

"It's _not possible._ " He huffed.

"One day I'll show you." She teasingly pressed a short kiss to his lips.

"Of course you cut them down, that's all you can do when you don't know how to pilot them." He grumbled, and this time she whacked his bare arm.

"Cheap shot, Ren." Andal rolled her eyes before laying her head against his chest.

Kylo had cancelled the Knights' morning training session in favour of spending the morning shift in bed with his... something. Partner? Friend? Lover?

He hadn't given much thought to where their relationship truly stood now, he had just been enjoying it for what it was. The time they had spent in bed together he found himself at peace, just her presence made him feel calmer, and now that he had finally stopped fighting how drawn he was to her things were looking up.

The call to the light was still there, but Andal was slowly pulling him back towards the dark. He felt truly balanced in the Force, after years of struggling.

She had spent the morning telling him stories about his grandfather and the Empire, as per his request. He had always wanted to know more about Vader and the kind of man he was, and now he did - she had even told him that he could see parts of Vader in him.

Meanwhile he hadn't told her a lot about his previous life, but she hadn't asked, because she knew he didn't want to talk about it. He never had to tell her how he was feeling, she just _knew,_ and that was something he appreciated more and more every day.

When she got up to get ready to meet Hux on the bridge he felt immediately cold without her in his arms, and there seemed to be no point in laying in her bed without her there with him. Whilst she was in the refresher he dressed himself and went out to her kitchenette to root around her cupboards for food, but all he found was instant caf so he settled for that.

Kylo was still undeniably conflicted, every time he remembered what Snoke had said to him in his throne room he found it hard to keep himself grounded, and in truth she was the only thing stopping him from losing it all over again. He _couldn't_ fail.

"You okay?" Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he turned to her.

She had the hood of her cloak up, which always meant she had wet hair, that much he had noticed.

"I'm fine." He told her, walking over to hand her a cup of caf, a content smile on his lips.

"You're also... making me caf?" She looked at him in disbelief as she took the cup, "Thanks." She chuckled, taking a sip.

Kylo was enamoured by her, even now when she had wet hair and was drinking caf, she was beautiful.

In his trance he realised he hadn't replied, "Uh- well your cupboards were empty so this is breakfast."

"Yeah," she chuckled, "I don't eat in here a lot, I usually go to the mess."

"I know." He had only gone there yesterday because she was there, but he definitely wasn't about to admit that out loud.

"I need to meet Hux." She glanced at the chrono and sighed, "but I'll... see you later?" She paused to raise an eyebrow at him.

"Come to my quarters this evening, we can have dinner." He wanted any excuse to spend time with her, when she wasn't with him he could feel himself losing balance in the Force.

She looked almost taken aback by his suggestion, and admittedly it wasn't something he had ever offered anyone before, but dinner was what people did... right?

"Sure." She eventually responded, a smile playing on her lips, before she drained the contents of her cup, placing it on the counter. "See you later Ren." She turned to walk away, but he placed his own cup down and quickly pulled her back in to kiss her.

"Now you can go." A smirk settled on his face.

"You spoil me." She teased, before pressing another peck to his lips and turning to leave him alone in her quarters.

He hadn't stuck around for long without her there, besides he had his own responsibilities to see to. He had teams out tracking Skywalker whilst Darth Andal helped Hux handle the destruction of the Resistance.

Now there was even more reason for him to end the Jedi Order once and for all. It had killed him to refuse to take Andal to Tatooine, after all he had been the one who originally pushed her to pursue her lost memories. Once Skywalker and the scavenger were dead they could finally go, although Snoke would never allow it - but he would cross that bridge when he came to it.

He went about his day, exchanging occasional conversation with Darth Andal through their connection in the Force. But hours later he found himself interrupted when he felt another presence approaching The Supremacy, one he recognised.

_Is that the scavenger?_

Just as the thought crossed his mind, Andal's voice echoed in his head.

_It is..._

He responded, but how could it be her? Surely she wasn't stupid enough to just show up aboard the Supreme Leader's flag ship.

_Hanger - now._

He was already on his way there, and he almost crashed into Andal when they both neared the entrance to the hanger. He briefly placed his hand on her shoulder to steady her, but they said nothing to one another as they turned to walk through the blast doors. They didn't need to.

Just as they approached, an escape pod landed. Both Force-users stood over it, staring down at Rey through the glass.

As the pod opened, Andal glanced at Ren and her face said it all - was this a trap? How could it be?

Wordlessly, Kylo reached around to a stormtrooper who was holding out Force suppression cuffs and he presented them to Rey as she stood up. Surprisingly she didn't fight it... at all, in fact she offered up her own wrists.

_I don't like this._

Andal told him.

_Neither do I._

He agreed with her.

They both knew the protocol - they had to take Rey to Snoke.

As the three of them walked towards the throne room, Rey began to speak, and her words were truly surprising.

"You don't have to do this." At this point she turned to Kylo, who continued to stare straight ahead "I feel the conflict in you. Ben, you don't have to bow before Snoke. You can turn, I'll help you."

"Quiet." Andal hissed, giving her a small push as they walked, which caused Rey to turn and address her.

Was Darth Andal _jealous?_ Kylo had to fight off a smirk at this, for all those times she had accused him of being jealous of that Resistance pilot, or Hux... The tables had finally turned.

_I can sense your smugness._

At that comment from her, he broke out into a full smirk and was forced to keep Rey walking in front of him to prevent her from seeing it.

"You're what's keeping him rooted in the dark." Rey continued speaking, but both of them already knew that was true, "I know of your connection."

"None of this is news to us-" Andal pointed out.

"-so why are you here?" Kylo then finished the sentence before she could.

"Because there's still good in you. In both of you." Rey seemed so confident in herself, but Kylo was convinced that her confidence was extremely misplaced.

"I think you're overestimating us." Andal muttered, she was worried, he could tell.

"I disagree." Rey quietly responded. She knew something, she had to, otherwise why turn up here?

Admittedly, Kylo had been struggling with his pull to the light becoming too strong, but over the past few days it had been dissipating and he'd be lying if he said he was truly rooted in the dark side but he was balanced at least. He knew it was because of Andal.

They reached the turbo-lift, and the pair of them pushed Rey in before joining her.

Kylo could sense something looming, and it wasn't good. He looked over at Darth Andal and she met his eyes, she felt it too.

Something told him he could say goodbye to their dinner plans.

When the blast doors flew open Snoke was sat back in his throne, his lips curving up into a vicious smirk when he saw the three of them entering.

"Well done my apprentice, my faith in you is restored. And you, Darth Andal, you have exceeded my expectations once again." Kylo was stressed, he could tell his Master was planning something. From the start he had intended to pit him again Vader's apprentice, but now that they had reached an equilibrium he wasn't sure how Snoke would react.

"Young Rey, welcome." He then commented, his attention turning to the young Jedi who stood between the two heirs of Vader.

His demeanour towards Rey quickly turned sour. His tone lowered and his words manifested as a threatening growl.

"You will give me Skywalker. Then I will kill you with the cruelest stroke." Snoke leaned forward, outstretching a hand which caused Rey to drop to her knees and be dragged towards his throne.

"No." She spoke through gritted teeth, but her sheer willpower was not enough to stop Snoke.

"Yes. Give me everything." He snarled, straining to break down her mental defences. With a push through the Force, he was able to invade her thoughts with ease.

"No! No! No!" Rey repeatedly shrieked over and over, screeching out in pain.

When he was satisfied, Snoke dropped her limp body to the ground and she collapsed, her hands still bound by the cuffs. Satisfied with the information he had discovered, his attention turned back to Ren and Andal.

They could both sense a shift in the atmosphere in the room. Snoke had discovered something whilst delving into Rey's mind, and whatever it was had him feeling threatened. But none of that showed on his scarred face.

"Today the young Jedi shall meet her demise. But first, Darth Andal..." His attention was suddenly focused on her, and she looked confused.

"Yes, Supreme Leader?" She cleared her throat and stood tall. Kylo knew why she was worried, the dark that had been clouding her in the Force had been balanced out by light - and that was because of him. Snoke wasn't likely to be happy.

"I sensed that you were in tune with the dark side of the Force, but now I fear... I was incorrect." Snoke narrowed his eyes, and Andal didn't flinch. "However, it isn't too late. You can still complete your journey to the dark side - become a Sith Lord. The _new_ Vader."

He didn't dare glance over at her, but he knew she was struggling to keep her emotions in check.

"And how might I do that?" She asked.

"I told you that when the moment came you would know, and _this,_ young Andal, this is it. You must strike down those who stand in your way - strike down the Jedi and come closer to completing the mission you and Lord Vader began all those years ago." His voice boomed, projecting to every corner of the throne room.

Kylo stiffened, if she was now Snoke's choice to rise and become a Sith Lord, he didn't dare think about where that would leave him. Not to mention that if she did fall completely to the dark side would it throw their connection off balance?

"Yes, Supreme Lea-" She began to dutifully speak, but he raised a hand to interrupt her.

"But..." He paused, a sickening grin tugging up at the corners of his lips, "before you destroy the Jedi Order, you must remove your connection to the light." Snoke's words were pointed, his gaze moving to fixate on Kylo.

Her eyes widened, but she still attempted to feign innocence. "I have no connection to the light, Supreme Leader." Kylo couldn't blame her, he didn't exactly have any bright ideas.

" _Liar!_ " Snoke roared, striking Andal with a powerful blast of Force lightning.

She grunted and fell to one knee, and as the same pain rippled through Kylo's body his reaction mimicked her own. This visible giveaway to the depth of their connection only caused Snoke to let out a low, eerie laugh. At this point Rey was pushing herself up to see what was going on.

"I saw it all in the young Jedi's mind, where Skywalker is, and all that he told her." Snoke leaned forward to rest his elbow on his leg, "How long did you think you could keep it from me? A dyad in the Force - two that are one."

They had been chasing answers for so long, and suddenly Snoke had them. A dyad... at this news they exchanged a glance. Two that are one, it made sense, but this wasn't how they had ever wanted to find out the truth.

"Born in different eras, but destined to join together. _Pathetic._ " He sneered. "A bond so easily severed." With that Kylo felt his body constricting and he struggled to break free. Snoke was too powerful for him, and he was forced onto his knees, held firmly in place by the Force.

"Darth Andal, you are not only strong in the Force, you are the _true_ heir to Lord Vader. You are not weighed down by memories of a past life, long since forgotten, you have the potential to begin the second Sith Empire." Snoke encouraged the darkness in her to rise, and Kylo could feel their connection slipping. His master was doing something to sever their ties to one another and breach the connection.

He strained to move his head and look over at Andal, her eyes were firmly plastered on the ground. Meanwhile, Rey was being scooped up by one of the Sith troopers who constantly stood guard and held steady.

"You will be a powerful Sith Lord, and together we can rule the galaxy. Let your hate flow through you." He continued to fill her brain with these thoughts, Kylo still straining to break free.

She finally looked up, and approached him. He watched her unclip her Saber hilt, clutching it so tightly her knuckles were going pale.

"Don't-" Kylo managed to splutter out as he looked up at her. Her usually piercing E/C eyes had darkened, he could see the change beginning. A dark energy was clouding the Force, and whatever Snoke was doing to her it was working - he was blinding her to her actions.

"Kill him and become the most powerful Sith Lord of your generation!" Snoke ordered, and her Saber erupted to life, the red blade casting a shadow over his face. "I've seen it in your mind, young one, the Emperor called you a weakness, he thought you were _useless!_ But I see your true potential, all you have to do is take it!" His personal insults clearly resonated with her.

Kylo's held his breath. He couldn't feel her anymore, Snoke was forcibly putting a wedge between them and manipulating Andal through the Force. She had grimaced, visibly resisting it and soon a strangled cry left her mouth as she struggled to push him out.

" _Kill him!_ " Snoke roared, rising from his seat.

He thought back to the morning. Waking up in bed with her, staying there for hours as he held her in his arms. This wasn't how he had expected his day to end - or his life.

In that moment he would have chosen anyone to kill him, just anyone but her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow yeah letting Kylo & reader be happy together?? That just sounds like a bridge too far.
> 
> Also sorry for leaving it on a cliffhanger but I couldn't resist being a dickhead


	21. Chapter Twenty One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In order for a new Sith Lord to rise, Snoke needs either Ren or Andal to kill the other and cut off what he deems to be their weakness.
> 
> Whether they can do it or not is another issue entirely...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: (some) violence and death ahead.

_"Kill him!"_ Snoke's voice was a mere echo to her in that moment, he had cut her off from Kylo and imposed his own dark energy on her through the Force. She was losing control, her Saber was active, and she was desperately fighting her actions. Andal felt like a simple onlooker in her own body.

There was no light left to save her, to pull her back from the brink. She had perhaps anticipated becoming a Sith Lord one day, but not like this. How could she be expected to murder the person who was half of her very being?

Slowly her Saber was being raised, despite all of her fighting. She met his eyes, filled with so much emotion.

"Don't do it-" Kylo strained to get the words out, he was still struggling against the Force holding him down.

Her mind was racing, her head pounding. The hand holding her Saber was shaking as she desperately fought Snoke's hold on her. Kylo meant everything to her, and she didn't want to kill him, she couldn't live with herself if she did.

_"Never allow yourself to fall victim to manipulation my young apprentice, you are stronger than that. If you do, you will have to live with the consequences of your actions for the rest of your days."_

Vader's words echoed in her head. He had been speaking from his own personal experiences, she knew that - he didn't want her to make the same mistakes he did.

With all her willpower, she tried to expel Snoke from her mind.

"No!" She eventually yelled and in one fluid motion she threw her Saber towards Snoke, aiming to strike him down, but he was one step ahead of her. He dodged the flying blade, and as she summoned it back to her hand he struck her with lightning, sending her flying backwards and onto the ground.

Snoke summoned her hilt to his hand and slammed it down on the arm of his throne before turning back to Andal.

"Foolish girl!" He bellowed, "You think you can overpower me?" He struck again her where she lay on the ground just for added cruelty.

"No, but you can't overpower both of us." She spoke through gritted teeth, daring a glance at Kylo. As soon as she tried to haul herself back to her feet he would electrocute her back to the floor.

With the Supreme Leader so firmly distracted, his hold on Kylo finally vanished, and he watched the scene before him - utterly torn on his position in it all. Their connection was no longer bridged.

He felt the electricity coursing through his body every time Andal was hit, and it _hurt_ , a pain which they were both so familiar with. When she spoke and glanced over at him, he was reminded of their conversation in the janitorial closet aboard Starkiller, it felt like so long ago now.

_"You suggest we overthrow Snoke?"_

_"If it comes to it."_

Perhaps now it had come to it...

But Snoke had been the one to train him, and get him to where he was today. To turn on him wouldn't be an easy decision.

Although it turned out he didn't have long to make that decision. Two Sith troopers moved to either side of Darth Andal and restrained her, but she violently fought back, kicking one in the shin and using the Force to push the other away.

Snoke let out a low laugh, "Such spunk. Vader taught you well, but you have too much heart in you Darth Andal." His hand raised and Andal was frozen and forced to her knees, similarly to how Kylo had been, "and you don't even know it." His laugh this time was cruel, "the Emperor was wise to remove your memories, but naive to think they would stay buried forever. I saw it in the scavenger's mind, Skywalker has told her _everything_ about you. The true potential of your bloodline."

The struggling stopped, Andal was stunned. Rey was stood, restrained, just feet away from her and she had all of the answers Andal had been searching for.

"How does it feel?" Snoke taunted, "to die, knowing that you will never find out who you really are."

Kylo was stood with a solemn face, looking between them both. He was torn, he knew this moment would eventually come but now that it was here he didn't know what to do.

With Darth Andal reeling in the news Snoke had just dropped on her, she was staring at Rey who was looking back her, knowingly. Which only left Kylo, and Snoke then called on him.

"Kylo Ren, my worthy apprentice, son of darkness. I was wrong to overlook you, _you_ are the heir apparent to Lord Vader. It is time to complete your training, fulfil your destiny and _destroy_ your weaknesses." His tone pointed towards the restrained Darth Andal.

Kylo approached her, his eyes meeting hers. He held her gaze as Snoke continued to talk, their silent exchange saying more than the Supreme Leader ever could.

"From the moment she arrived she aimed to best you. You think she cares for you, my apprentice? Nobody cares for you - she was using you to get to the top. You must kill her." The man had manipulated Kylo for years, and it didn't seem as if he was stopping now.

"Kylo he's lying, don't-" She strained to speak but was swiftly interrupted by another blast of lightning.

He winced as the pain rippled through the Force into him, and Snoke just used this as further ammunition.

"You hurt because of her, you have to suffer from her pain. Without her, there would be nothing in your way. Strike her down, my apprentice."

Within minutes their positions had switched drastically. Snoke needed one of them alive, that much was obvious, and it was just whittling down to a case of which one he was able to manipulate into killing the other.

Andal knew that he needed one of them to rise to become a Sith Lord in order to match the power of the Jedi, and to do so one of them had to sacrifice the other. But that was much easier said than done, they had become more attached to one another than Snoke could have ever foreseen.

It wasn't until she looked into his eyes, those damn eyes... It wasn't until then that she realised just how she felt about him. They had spent so long hating each other that she hadn't stopped to think about what was beneath it all. Something so much deeper than she had ever felt before, she was truly afraid of losing him to the point where she would be willing to sacrifice herself for him.

She was in love with Kylo Ren... fuck.

Kylo drew his hilt, and she continued to struggle against Snoke's grip. This couldn't be happening. Had Snoke really manipulated him that much?

"I cannot be betrayed, I cannot be beaten." Snoke cruelly laughed. "I see his mind, I see his every intent. Yes... I see him turning the Lightsaber to strike true. And now, foolish girl, he ignites it, and kills his true enemy-"

When she heard a Saber igniting she squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the pain. But it never came.

Her eyes snapped open just as Snoke's torso fell to the ground, his legs still sat on the throne, and between them her Lightsaber was still ablaze.

The hold on her was gone, and she slowly rose to her feet, her eyes not leaving Kylo's as they now stood chest to chest.

He didn't say anything, but she could feel it. The energy coming off him said all that she needed to hear. His eyes spoke a thousand words, words that neither of them knew how to express otherwise.

Kylo Ren was in love with her.. _._

Andal stretched her hand out behind Kylo and he stepped aside for her to catch her Saber as it came flying towards her.

Within moments the Sith troopers were flying into action to defend their fallen leader.

Rey looked at them desperately and held up the cuffs, at which Kylo and Andal exchanged a glance, silently agreeing on a decision.

As the troopers advanced on Andal, Kylo rushed over and ignited his Saber, slicing Rey's cuffs in two. These troopers were highly trained, and they were severely outnumbered. Rey had no hope of surviving if she stayed cuffed, and they had to keep her alive at least for long enough to share what Skywalker had told her about Andal.

Meanwhile, a smirk had risen on Andal's face. She had been dying for some action for months, and this certainly qualified.

As five troopers surrounded her, weapons primed she raised her Saber with a two-handed grip. When the first attacked, swinging his electro-hammer at her, she ducked beneath it and slashed at his armour on the way back up which was enough to stun him.

The other four took the hint and approached her together, assuming that safety was in numbers. She was quick to parry one of the incoming strikes, but found soon found herself overwhelmed.

With an almighty push from the force she threw them all away from her, and whilst they were stumbling backwards she flipped through the air to deliver a fatal blow to one of the troopers, her red Lightsaber piercing through his chest.

The body fell to the ground, leaving her with four to deal with. Glancing over she could see Kylo and Rey defending themselves against the other four remaining guards.

She spun her Saber as she braced for another attack. Sith typically learnt how to fight on the offensive, but Vader had always taught her from the defensive point of view as well as offensive - leaving her technique somewhere between that of Jedi and Sith.

They all had different weapons, but with every swing she was deflecting them. When one of the troopers stumbled, she took the opportunity for a low strike to his stomach, deep enough to kill him.

Whilst she had been distracted flooring another trooper, one wielding an electrified whip took this opportunity to latch it around her wrist.

Grunting at the immediate pain, she pulled harshly on the restraint in an attempt to trip the trooper holding her, but he strongly held his position. Her Saber was stuck in her hand, and she didn't have the momentum to swing it, and whilst she was struggling against the electro-whip the other two were advancing on her.

Kylo felt the jolt of pain in his own wrist, and his attention immediately turned to Andal. He watched her struggle and subsequently take a blaster bolt to her side which caused her to drop to the ground.

His unstable blade shot through the chest of another trooper before he ran to the opposite side of the Throne Room, slicing through the electro-whip before anyone could react.

With her wrist free Andal ignored the burning pain from the blaster bolt in her side and hauled herself back to her feet. Whilst Rey took on a trooper herself, her and Kylo were left with the remaining four.

Aside from a few brief moments on the Pillio mission, they had never actually fought side by side like this, only ever against one another. It turns out they had been missing out.

Every swing was in perfect synchronisation, they didn't even need to communicate. If Kylo swung high, Andal would swing low. He would block whilst she attacked. She would set up for Kylo to strike and he would move in to kill a trooper. She knew his every move before he made it, and vice versa. They fought as though they had been training together their whole lives.

They eventually stood back to back, their blades swinging in tandem. Rey had taken down the trooper she had been facing off with and stood, watching the display in front of her. The way they fought and moved together was nothing short of perfection.

It was like watching a well-oiled machine at work.

With only one trooper left, in one perfect motion the pair of them turned the the side and plunged both of their Sabers through his chest. The armoured body dropped to the ground, his torso still singeing from the manoeuvre.

They both turned to each other, breathing laboured. With the adrenaline now wearing off, the pain in Andal's side became more prominent and she placed her hand over it to apply pressure, hoping that would help to clot the wound.

"Are you okay?" Kylo stepped forward, his hand resting over her own by her waist.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She assured him, a slightly forced smile on her lips.

"We need to get back to the Resistance-" Rey rushed over to the two of them, and Andal looked at her, confused.

"You think because you're not restrained anymore we're joining the Resistance?" Admittedly, Andal was not loyal to the First Order. But Snoke was dead, everything was about to change.

"You don't belong here, I know you think you do, but you're on the wrong side of this war." Rey stepped towards her, and she looked defensive.

In the meantime, Kylo had withdrawn from Andal. He was trapped in his own thoughts as he stared at Snoke's broken corpse.

"What did Skywalker tell you?" Her tone lowered, "I need to know."

Behind her, Kylo's attention had been pealed away from his former, now decapitated, master and he was silently listening in.

"Your memories were stolen by Palpatine." That much she already knew, "but you're the daughter of a Jedi Master - Ben Kenobi. You and Ben lived on Tatooine when the Empire rose to power, until you went with Luke on a rescue mission."

"Obi Wan, not Ben." The words tumbled from her lips before she could process anything. The hand not pressing against her wound instinctively moved up to hover over her lips. She didn't even understand what she had said.

"Luke told me that you were with them when Darth Vader killed him, and that's when they lost you to the dark side." Rey spoke with conviction, it was hard to deny that she was telling the truth, as much as she wanted to.

"Vader..." She muttered under her breath, "Vader killed my father?" Her voice cracked slightly just at the mere thought of it.

The man who had become a father to her had only done so because he killed hers. She felt nauseous, the colour completely draining from her face.

"This can't be happening." She took a step back, or was she going to pass out? She could barely tell, and the blood loss wasn't helping. The hand that had been clutching her waist moved in favour of clutching her head which was pounding, blood from her hand transferred to her forehead in the process.

She turned to Kylo, her eyes filled with nothing short of horror. How could this be happening? Was it really happening? Perhaps this was just an injury-induced nightmare and she was unconscious in the Med Bay right now.

Maybe this was all a plot and Rey was lying. It made perfect sense, the Resistance was clearly trying to turn her to get the upper hand- 

"Stop." Kylo had moved over to her and placed his hands either side of her face, " _Stop._ " He then repeated himself. He could hear the municipal of thoughts racing through Andal's head and considering she was already injured, this wasn't helping.

All he could try and do was keep himself level headed, but considering he was still trying to process killing Snoke it was proving difficult.

"It's not true." Andal adamantly told him and his eyes softened in response, which said it all. She was in denial.

To try and help matters Rey came over and placed her hand on Andal's arm, "I'm telling the truth. Your name is Y/N Kenobi, you were destined to be a Jedi, not this."

Ren looked at Rey, and if looks could kill...

Although she had been trying to help, it only added further fuel to the fire.

Sensing the mood, she took a step back and moved over to the viewpoint to watch the Resistance cruiser which was just barely outpacing the Supremacy.

So much was swimming through her head, blurry images which still would not surface. These things Rey had told her, deep down she knew they were true, but she still couldn't actually _remember_ them.

Y/N Kenobi... it felt so familiar to hear that name, but she couldn't place it. The memories that had been suppressed for so many years were trying desperately to break free, but she was still fighting it.

"Listen to me-" Kylo's voice snapped drew her back to reality slightly, "I'll get you to the Med Bay and then we'll work all of this out together."

By 'all of this,' he meant _a lot_. They now had to contend with Snoke and his entire guard being dead, what to do with Rey, finally destroying the Resistance and now the stunning revelation that Darth Andal was actually a Kenobi.

She could barely get her words out now, so she merely nodded in response, her eyes glazed over.

"Ben, the fleet! Order them to stop firing, there's still time to save the fleet! Ben?" Rey called over and Kylo reluctantly pulled himself away from Andal to address her.

Ships had peeled off from the Resistance cruiser and were heading towards the planet Crait. They had been cloaked, but clearly the First Order had discovered their escape plan and The Supremacy was now firing on their fleet.

"It's time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker, the Sith, the Jedi, the Rebels... let it all die." He said, sparing a glance at Andal who now appeared to be listening.

"Don't do this, Ben. Please don't go this way." She pleaded, "You and Y/N can come with me back to the Resistance."

"The Resistance is finished, there will be nothing for you to go back to." He snapped, "you can join us, or you can die with them."

"I'll never join you." She hissed, drawing her Lightsaber hilt.

Across base, Hux was on the bridge overseeing the destruction of the Resistance transports whilst Phasma was elsewhere overseeing the execution of Finn and Rose.

"Sir, the Resistance cruiser is preparing to jump to light speed." An officer informed the General, who simply sneered in response.

"It's empty, they're just trying to pull our attention away... pathetic. Keep your fire on the transports."

In the hanger, Phasma was finally exacting her revenge on FN-2187 for kidnapping her and forcing her to lower the shields back on Starkiller Base.

"Execution by blaster is too good for them. Let's make this hurt." She ordered her troopers. "On my command."

Aboard the Resistance cruiser, Vice Admiral Holdo prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice.

From the bridge Hux watched, the cogs spinning in his brain as he pieced it all together but when the penny dropped it was already too late.

"Fire on that cruiser!" He had screeched, but the ship had already jumped to light speed, viscously cutting through everything in its path - namely the Supremacy.

In the Throne Room Kylo had drawn his Saber, ready to cut Rey down once and for all, but the sudden explosion sent them both flying off their feet. Andal had been watching and trying to cling to consciousness, but the force of the blast threw her across the room, exasperating the blaster wound she was already nursing.

Within moments all three of them were spread out across the floor, knocked out.

Rey awoke first, minutes later. There were flames and sparking equipment surrounding them, and she knew this would be her only window for escape. She wasn't ready to give up on Ben and Y/N, but she also knew to pick her battles. For now the Resistance needed her, and Chewie was nearby with the Falcon.

Stumbling to her feet, she hastened to find her nearest escape route.

The throne room remained lifeless for another few minutes after that, disrupted only by Hux entering - looking for Snoke in a state of panic. The sound of the blast doors jolted Kylo back into consciousness and he had to think on his feet despite his brain not having comprehended what had just happened.

He could see Hux surveying the scene in horror. The corpses of not just the Supreme Leader, but his entire guard lay all over the floor, along with the unconscious bodies of the two commanders.

Kylo pushed himself to his feet, and stumbled over to where Andal was laying on the floor. He dropped back to his knees, and Hux watched impatiently as Kylo checked that she was still breathing.

Thankfully she was.

"What happened?" Hux finally asked. He was relieved to see Andal alive, but that didn't make up for the rest of the chaos in the room.

"The girl murdered Snoke." He mumbled, "What happened?" He then mirrored Hux's question.

"She took Snoke's escape craft." He informed, and Kylo was furious that she had managed to escape. Then again, it still wasn't over.

"We know where she's going, get all our forces down to that Resistance base. Let's finish this." Kylo ordered. The First Order was in disarray and a new Supreme Leader had to rise to power - he would sooner die than watch Hux take Snoke's place, and he knew that Andal wasn't invested in the First Order, even if she wouldn't admit it out loud. He had been Snoke's apprentice, the throne was rightfully his.

"Finish this?" Hux snapped, "who do you think you're talking to? You presume to command _my_ army? Our Supreme Leader is dead, we have no ruler!"

Kylo knew that the only way Hux would accept his rule was a demonstration of power, so he wrapped the Force around the General's throat, choking him from where he knelt on the ground by Andal's body.

"The Supreme Leader is _dead_." He reiterated.

"Long live the Supreme Leader." Hux accepted his imminent fate and strained to get the words out, and Kylo released him after his submission.

"Prepare the army, and get a med-droid on my ship." He ordered. There was no option but to take her with him, the Supremacy was destroyed and that meant there was no Med Bay to leave her in.

"There are transport ships taking officers to the Finalizer, it would be better if you allow them to take Darth Andal to safety-" Hux suggested, but was swiftly cut off by Ren.

"No." He snapped, "She comes with us." He didn't trust anybody on those transports to look out for her whilst she was unconscious, and with everything that Rey had just told them, he knew he needed to be there when she woke up.

"Very well." Hux said, through gritted teeth. The new leadership was clearly going to take a lot of getting used to. With that, the General left.

Kylo had no time to waste. He scooped her unconscious body up in his arms and left the throne room. The wound in her side looked as though it was clotting, which was good, but if it wasn't treated soon it could still become infected.

When a janitorial droid came flying past, Kylo stopped it and ordered it to have both his and Andal's quarters cleared out, and their belongings taken to the Finalizer.

There was nobody else around, unsurprisingly so. Those who weren't being taken directly to the Finalizer were preparing to storm the Resistance base.

He had trouble navigating his way to the hanger, and carrying Andal at deadweight made it harder - he figured if he accidentally set her hair alight whilst moving through the wreckage she wouldn't be too thrilled.

Every turning led to another collapsed corridor, but eventually he managed to get to his Silencer. The boarding ramp was down, Hux and a number of officers were already on board. Throughout the burning hanger there were colossal numbers of ships taking off, many heading for Crait.

Once Ren was on board he silently placed Andal on the floor, before Hux ordered the ship to take off.

He kneeled by her for a moment, before rising to address Hux, "The med-droid?"

"Here." Hux gestured, and the small unit came floating by.

"Get us to planet surface, and look after her." He ordered before stalking off to the on-board private quarters. It may have been superficial, but he looked a mess - if this was going to be his first display of power as Supreme Leader he could at least look the part.

He found a cape that he had previously left on board, and used the refresher to clean the mixture of dirt and blood from the throne room and subsequent explosion off his face.

When he emerged, he saw Andal sitting up, a bacta-patch now covering her side. Her face was still stained with blood and grime, but that was the least of her worries.

Hux was quietly telling her to take it easy, before mentioning that she was aboard Ren's Silencer.

She rubbed her head, the headache that had been plaguing her had subsided. She had needed that time unconscious.

"What happened?" She threw out the question that everyone seemed to be asking, "Where are we going?"

"They destroyed the Supremacy, the girl escaped." Kylo's voice caught her attention as he moved to within her view, "We're going to Crait to destroy the Resistance."

"Supreme Leader, we're making our final approach." A voice called from the cockpit and Kylo reached his gloved hand down for Andal to take.

He could feel that the bacta-patch doing its work, and he knew better than to make her sit out of something so important. When he had been injured on Starkiller, she hadn't tried to stop him, she had just saved his life... again.

She allowed him to pull her to her feet, and she simply gave him a small nod. It was assurance that she was okay, a thank you for getting her out of the throne room, and confirmation that she could try to push everything aside and focus on the task at hand.

Her, Kylo and Hux climbed up to the cockpit on the upper deck and watched the descent to Crait.

The command ship hovered within sight of the Resistance base. AT-MG walkers were dispatched and flanked by TIE Fighters.

Andal stood beside Hux, whilst Kylo sat back in his command chair.

She had been forced down this path all those years ago, but now it was time to finish it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Darth Andal's a Kenobi!! Dramaaaaa


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final push to destroy the Resistance takes the First Order to Crait.
> 
> But a distraction orchestrated by Luke Skywalker proves detrimental to the campaign. Both Kylo Ren and Darth Andal are forced to face the ghosts from their past.

"13 incoming light crafts. Shall we hold until we clear them?" Despite still being bitter about Kylo usurping the position of Supreme Leader, Hux played nice. He knew that without Snoke around there was nobody to stop Ren from killing him - except possibly Darth Andal.

The battering-ram cannon was being prepped below where the Silencer was hovering. Truth be told she had never heard of such a weapon, but amongst the officers commanding its powering up she had heard something about miniaturised Death Star tech, and that was all she needed to know.

"No. The Resistance is in that mine, push through." Kylo ordered from his seat.

Andal was stood, silently watching the approach of the skim-speeders. Red salt was flying through the air behind them, it was strangely picturesque. Every missed blaster bolt sent a flurry of red minerals dancing through the air.

Kylo Ren was the Supreme Leader. She was the daughter of a Jedi Master. They were on the brink of destroying the Resistance.

No matter how hard she tried to focus, her mind was anywhere but on the battle ahead of them. The bacta-patch on her side was offering her some relief from the blaster wound she had sustained, but there was no simple cure for the way her mind was racing.

It didn't take the Force for anyone to sense that she wasn't herself, that much was made plainly obvious by Hux glancing over at her every few moments. He clearly wanted to say something but held his tongue whilst in the presence of Kylo and numerous other officers.

The TIE fighters were making light work of the flimsy speeders that were approaching the cannon. She could sense Kylo through the Force, he was feeling quietly confident. However just as quickly as his expectations had been raised, they were shot back down. The TIEs were suddenly receiving heavy counter-fire, many exploding before they could hit their targets.

The Millennium Falcon came hurtling into view, and the spike in Kylo's anger hit her like a tonne of bricks. Every feeling towards his past and his father was now fixated on that ship.

He leapt up from his seat and pointed at the Falcon as it soared past, "blow that piece of junk _out of the sky!"_ He screamed right into the ear of an unfortunate officer.

"All fighters!" Hux chipped in, his order causing all TIEs to scramble and pursue the Falcon. It left the rickety speeders open to continue their approach on the cannon, but without the Falcon in play the Resistance would have no other means of escape, so destroying that was their main priority.

Besides, there was plenty of firepower leftover without the TIEs.

Below, the cannon was powering up but the speeders were still drawing ever-closer.

"All firepower on those speeders!" Kylo yelled his orders, and they were echoed by Hux who was clearly trying to keep a degree of control over his forces.

"Concentrate all fire on those speeders!" As the order left Hux's mouth, Kylo looked at him like he was on the verge of slicing him in half there and then.

The walkers were picking off the speeders with ease, and their numbers were quickly dwindling. Andal had seen plenty of battle, and from where she stood silently watching, she could tell that this one was an imminent victory.

When the cannon was charged, the Resistance speeders bailed, all pulling off in different directions to retreat.

All but one.

Watching intently, Andal stepped towards the viewpoint to get a better look. Whoever was piloting was about to sacrifice themselves for their cause - she respected the pilot for believing in something so deeply.

However, at the last moment a second speeder collided with the one about to destroy the cannon and took them both out of play.

If that had been a First Order trooper there was no way anybody would have made an effort to save them. Realistically nobody in the First Order would sacrifice themselves like that in the first place.

For a brief moment Kylo glanced at her, his eyes narrowed slightly. Her train of thought seemed off, but he wasn't in a position to bring it up with her. She had enough to be dealing with - he was amazed that she still stood here as if nothing were wrong.

The cannon was charged, and the door to the base may as well not have been there. Within moments, it wasn't.

"General Hux, advance. No quarter, no prisoners." He spoke in a level tone now, but his words were still rich with authority.

Kylo would make a good Supreme Leader, she was certain of that. Many would doubt him, but she knew him better than anyone.

The only thing holding him back was Ben Solo. Andal knew he carried his past with him, and now she couldn't pretend that she didn't carry hers with her. She understood his desire to wipe it all out, if she could go back to that throne room and make it so Rey never told her anything she would.

"Stop!" Kylo's voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she stepped to stand beside Hux.

She couldn't believe her eyes when she saw what, or rather who, had brought their army to a halt.

"I want every gun we have to fire on that man." His voice was ominously quiet, and she could tell he was barely holding it together.

Luke was stood ready to face off the entire First Order.

She hadn't seen him since the day the Death Star fell and she had been frozen in carbonite. He looked older, the same as Han had. But now all she saw was the man who had allegedly watched her father be struck down and left her alone at the mercy of Vader and Palpatine.

He had betrayed her just as much as he had betrayed Ben Solo.

The First Order launched its entire artillery at Luke, his body disappearing in a sea of smoke and red salt.

"More!" Kylo ordered, " _More!_ " He then yelled a few moments later.

Hux looked to her for help stepping in, but Andal's eyes were transfixed on the scene before her. She hadn't said a word since coming up to the cockpit so he couldn't count on her to stop Kylo from losing control right now.

" _That's enough!_ " He screeched, pushing himself into Kylo's line of vision, "That's enough." He then repeated himself, quieter once the bombardment had ceased. "Do you think you got him?" He sarcastically hissed, Kylo stumbling back into his seat as he tried to process his own loss of control.

The dust was clearing, but where there should have been a clear path into the Resistance base, Luke still stood tall.

Andal leaned over the pilots to look directly out of the viewpoint and her eyes met his. Luke simply brushed his shoulder off, as if nothing had just happened.

She held his gaze for a moment, all of the hurt and betrayal she had been pushing away was beginning to bubble to the surface, and unfortunately Luke was the only person left alive for her to direct it at.

"Kylo." She finally spoke, her voice immediately grabbing his attention.

He jumped up and joined her at the viewpoint to see Luke stood taunting him. He wasn't going to allow his old master to survive another day.

"Bring me down to him. Keep the door covered and don't advance until I say." Kylo quietly ordered, one pilot moving immediately to the shuttle.

"Supreme Leader, don't get distracted, our goal-" Hux began to interject, but Kylo didn't let him finish, he simply threw him aside using the Force.

Hux crashed into the wall of the cockpit, and Andal sent him a brief glance of pity.

"Right away Sir." He had the shuttle ready to dispatch, but before Kylo could leave she grabbed his arm.

"I'm coming with you." She told him, and he immediately stopped to face her.

"No, you're injured." His words were clearly coming from a place of concern, but she wasn't ready to accept it that easily.

"You can't go out there alone." She was quick to protest.

"Your head isn't in the right place." He urged, quietly. They didn't have long to argue about this.

She gave a hesitant glance at Hux and other officers who were awaiting orders from their new Supreme Leader. She didn't want to give too much away. They were already acting overly familiar with each other in front of everyone, and with Snoke dead the circumstances of their relationship could be deemed suspicious. It had to remain secret.

"I'm coming." She said, without any doubt in her tone. Kylo no longer had a say in the matter as far as she was concerned.

He looked at her, studying her eyes for a moment. She wasn't doing this because she wanted to exact her revenge on Luke the same way he did, she felt just as much hurt and betrayal, but she wanted to go with him _for_ him.

Kylo loved her, more than he realised. She knew he loved her, and vice versa, but now he was desperate to say it aloud. He wanted to look her in the eyes and say _I love you,_ but he knew that given the current circumstances it wasn't the time.

_I know._

He heard her voice in his head and had to fight off a smirk threatening to appear on his lips. Of course she had heard.

"The shuttle is ready Sir." The pilot rushed in to inform the Supreme Leader, which swiftly pulled him back into reality.

"Good." He stalked off in the direction of the shuttle, Andal swiftly following.

It only took a few moments for them to be dropped onto the planet surface. Luke hadn't moved a muscle, he was still stood waiting for them to approach.

"Did you come to forgive me? To save my soul?" Kylo taunted, as he yelled at Luke.

The man she knew as Vader's son didn't flinch, he only prepared himself for imminent attack as he focused on Kylo, "No." He said, plainly.

Kylo had the intent to kill his old master, but something was striking Andal as odd. Unlike the interaction on Starkiller with Han Solo, Luke was not paying her any mind - he was acting as if she wasn't there at all.

Considering he hadn't seen her in thirty years and she hadn't aged a day, she assumed that he would have some kind of reaction to seeing her alive.

Kylo dramatically dropped his cape, and drew his Saber. She prepared to do the same, but she could feel another presence, someone waiting behind her.

For the briefest moment, Luke's eyes met her own and he nodded over her shoulder. His nephew meanwhile was firmly distracted by his mission to get revenge.

Furrowing her brow, Andal spun round to see what was allegedly behind her.

"You know, I did _try_ and teach you to fly, but you were always better with weapons." She recognised that voice. She had heard it before in the visions she'd had at night.

As soon as her back was turned to Luke and Kylo and the figure before her spoke, the world around her froze. All background noise dulled down to silence, leaving just her and the man stood in front of her.

She studied the figure manifesting just a few steps away. He was young, handsome, with a scar evident across one of his eyes, and his entire body was cast in a pale blue light. Something about him was so familiar, but he had this cheeky grin on his face, one that strangely reminded her of Kylo.

Then his words had clicked.

" _Master?"_ She spluttered in sheer disbelief. The man standing before her was Anakin Skywalker, the man she had never seen, but heard so much about. "I don't understand-"

"I know I have a lot of explaining to do..." He stepped towards her, her expression still in sheer disbelief, "I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but I've been trying to reach you since you woke up."

"It was you, you told me to find Ben." She was calculating everything as quickly as she could, visibly piecing a puzzle together in her head. But how could Anakin have been the one trying to reach her? He had been killed by Darth Vader, at least that's what he had led everyone to believe.

"Without Palpatine I thought your memories would break through naturally, but when they didn't I tried to point you in the direction of Obi Wan." Anakin seemed to different to Vader, but she could tell they were one in the same. It was just surreal to see him as a Jedi.

"Find Ben..." She repeated under breath, "I thought you meant-" She began, before he cut her off.

"-Solo, right?" A small chuckle left his lips at this, "I guess that was my mistake. I couldn't predict Leia naming her son after Obi Wan, but there were some things I _could_ predict."

Her brow furrowed, his words were cryptic but she'd had years of practise when it came to making sense of him. "How could you have known?" Everything was slowly starting to make sense. He had saved her because somehow he knew that she belonged with Kylo Ren - he had even told her that she 'belonged elsewhere.'

"I didn't- well, I did. But I didn't know about my grandson. Your energy in the Force was always half of a whole, and I knew that whoever your other half was couldn't have been born yet." Despite the fact he was explaining things to her, everything still seemed so confusing.

"But why was that worth keeping me alive? I saw Palpatine order you to kill me, would things not have been easier if you had?" The question hung in the air like a led balloon, and Anakin looked away for a moment, processing his own guilt.

Since she had seen the vision, she had been asking herself over and over again why would Vader not have just killed her? She was grateful to be alive now, but she had forgone years of pain and misery from Palpatine just because she was half of a Force dyad? It didn't add up.

Anakin sighed, his expression said it all - he wished he wasn't the one delivering this news. "Y/N-"

"-Don't." She quickly interrupted, "That's not my name."

His eyes filled with even more guilt, "I'm sorry, for everything. But from the moment you were born the Force clouded you, you have a destiny larger than any of this, the dyad is just a small part of it."

"What destiny?" Andal asked, skeptical.

"I don't know, nobody does. But Palpatine felt threatened by you, because you were Obi-Wan's daughter, and because he knew you were meant for more. I know a little something about being chosen by the Force," he exhaled a dry chuckle, "but I can't tell you much beyond that."

She remained silent for a moment, her lips pressed in a thin line. When she finally responded her voice was slightly hoarse, "I didn't ask for this, for any of it."

"Neither did I." He was trying to comfort her, but Vader or Anakin he never was the best at consoling her. "But it's time to accept who you really are."

"What? Like you did." Andal snorted, the hostility that he had instilled in her becoming apparent. Anakin Skywalker was standing before her, at one with the Force, and that meant he had died a Jedi, not as Darth Vader.

"Destiny's complicated, it finds you even when you don't want it to. That one you really can trust me on." He huffed. Anakin's energy was different to Vader's, he seemed so much more... sarcastic? Lighthearted? She couldn't fully put her finger on it.

"You killed my father, let Palpatine take my memories and stood by to watch him torture me for _years_. You expect that to all just disappear? I'm sorry Master, but it isn't that easy." She had been desperately trying to reach Vader since she woke up, and now it turned out Anakin had been trying to reach her.

She should have been thrilled, but the whole interaction had her heart sinking. Deep down she knew it had nothing to do with Anakin, it was the fact that she was in denial about the truth.

"I understand, more than you think I do. But just know that I'll be here when you need me, when you're ready to accept who you really are." His eyes had softened. He of all people knew how it felt to be chosen by the Force to carry a destiny, but whatever Andal's was it didn't carry the weight of being an age old prophecy as Anakin's had. But nevertheless it was still important, he thought he could help set her on the right path.

She was chewing the inside of her cheek, she had taken Anakin's comment in distaste given that she blamed him for the fact that she was on this path in the first place. As much as she longed to go back to the way things had been when she had been blissfully unaware of her past, she knew that she now had to choose which path to follow.

"I'm sorry Master, but I am what you made me." Her eyes glazed over. She wasn't ready to accept the truth yet, and although he remained silent Anakin appreciated that.

"I wish I had done things differently. But for what it's worth, I couldn't be more proud of you." Anakin was starting to fade, and in her peripheral vision she could see Kylo moving to stand beside her - Luke was gone.

Kylo's brow was furrowed, he could see Anakin but he couldn't work out why he recognised him. Meanwhile a small, knowing smirk formed on her Master's lips as he faded, seeing them together now she could see the similarities.

"Look after him my apprentice, he needs you." He gave a nod towards Kylo, who pieced everything together just as Anakin disappeared, leaving them alone.

Andal briefly shut her eyes and took a shaky breath, taking a moment to bottle up all of her emotions. Thankfully that was something useful that Vader had taught her.

"That was..." Kylo's voice trailed off, trying to process his own emotions. Luke was gone, but his distraction had cost them dearly.

"Your grandfather." She sighed, confirming his suspicions.

"They were distracting us." His hands quickly balled into fists, and she nodded in response. She could sense that he felt betrayed by Anakin, which momentarily confused her but the way Kylo idolised Vader didn't add up - he hadn't known that he turned back to the light either.

From aboard the Silencer, Hux had been watching. He saw Ren square off with Luke, who subsequently just disappeared into nothingness. But that hadn't confused him as much as Darth Andal had, she had just stood there having a conversation with thin air as far as he was concerned. He had noticed that she had been acting off, but this took the biscuit.

Once he saw that they were alone he ordered the armies to descend and advance on the Resistance base.

As they entered the base, now flanked by a huge number of stormtroopers, both Kylo and Andal knew that it was a lost cause. They could sense Rey's presence leaving the planet, they had both fallen to distraction.

In the control room, she found Kylo crouching down with something in his hand, a pair of dice. He clutched them as they disappeared, a mere echo in the Force. She could sense his thoughts dwelling on his father, his mother, his uncle and now his grandfather too.

Very aware of prying eyes, she moved to stand behind where he was crouching and placed a surreptitious hand on his shoulder, silently trying to remind him that she was there for him.

"What now?" She asked. He was their Supreme Leader now, it was time to enter a new age.

"Whatever we want." He rose to his feet and glanced at her before walking away, back towards the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did have a toss up between whether to have Anakin or Obi Wan appear here (in my plan it literally said 'Anakin or Obi Wan show up'). In the end Anakin just made more sense since she still doesn't actually remember Obi Wan, but that isn't to say he won't appear at some point...


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darth Andal receives even more bad news, whilst Kylo throws out an unexpected curveball during his first high command meeting.
> 
> A curveball which lands them both exploring Tatooine.

"You look like you're waiting for someone." Hux sat opposite her in the mess. The bags under Andal's eyes were evident, matched only by the ones he was sporting.

"I was hoping that Phasma would be here." She sighed.

Hux's face dropped, and that told her all she needed to know.

"I'm afraid she didn't make it." He suddenly couldn't meet her eyes, possibly processing his own grief, but somehow Andal just nodded.

She felt numb, after everything that had happened over the past rotation this was just something else to add to the pile. Silently she took a moment to spare her friend a thought, mourning her loss. Many wouldn't grieve for Phasma, but that's because she wasn't close to many people, those who really knew her knew that she had a much softer, lighthearted side.

"She'll be missed." Andal finally responded, her hands wrapped around a steaming cup of caf. The warmth providing her a small level of comfort.

"She will." Hux agreed. He was eating just a bowl of plain oats, which seemed just so... typical Hux.

The Finalizer was just another star destroyer at this point. It was early, many others were still resting after the heavy rotation they had just passed. In such a short space of time she had lived aboard three different First Order bases, hopefully this one could be a more permanent setting.

There had been no need for discussion the previous night, she had slept in Kylo's quarters when he took her there after a trip to the Med Bay. The wound in her side had been seen to, and she was left with a minor scar - one to add to a constantly growing collection. He hadn't said much to her, possibly because he didn't know what to say. They had simply both taken time to wash themselves and then gone to sleep, leaving their problems until the morning broke.

Only now, the morning was upon them and their problems were still evident, and neither of them were making an effort to address them.

She had felt Kylo stirring early, she had barely been asleep herself. He said he needed to meditate, and offered for her to join him, but she declined and asked him to show her to mess hall on his way to wherever the training facility was. She had hoped to find Phasma there to distract herself from everything that was crumbling down around her... but now things were just worse.

Before Kylo had left her at the mess, he had told her that later they could talk. They both needed time to get their own heads straight, and Kylo in particular was just beginning his reign as Supreme Leader, he needed to be focused for the day ahead.

"You couldn't sleep either?" Andal asked Hux, just making conversation. Similarly to The Supremacy, the mess hall was separated sections for high command, and for other officers and troopers.

For what it was worth, she appreciated his company.

"No." His face flashed with a look of disdain as he slowly ate his food. "What really happened? I've never seen Ren... _care_ as much for someone as he did for you yesterday. Why his sudden change in attitude?" Clearly Hux had been awake whilst his mind was swilling with conspiracy theories. Little did he know just how weighted that question was.

She pursed her lips, unsure on how to go about explaining anything to Hux. If she said nothing it would look suspicious, she couldn't let anyone find out that Kylo had killed Snoke... killed him to save her.

"The scavenger, she told me who I was before the Empire got to me." She admitted, and Hux had put his spoon down, suddenly hanging on her every word. It was common knowledge that she had no memories from her life pre-Vader. "When Snoke found out he tried to kill me, but she got to him first. Then his guards attacked, they didn't care whose side we were on, they wanted us all dead." It wasn't too far from the truth, and she knew Kylo wouldn't be happy about the admission that they had part in killing the guards, but there was no other way of explaining the blaster wound she had taken. "I think Ren just took pity on me."

When she stopped talking, Hux's brow furrowed. He clearly didn't see that as the end of the story, "And what did the girl tell you?" He prompted, but she waved her hand to dismiss him.

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't change who I am now." She told him, slightly sharply. Until she was ready to accept things herself, she didn't want anyone else knowing the truth. Besides, she didn't know what weight her father's name might carry, it could turn people against her for all she knew.

"Sorry." He quietly said, "I'm sure it isn't easy for you." Hux was doing his best, considering that sympathy was far from his strong suit.

"I'm not the only one with things they need to process." Her tone was very pointed, and she needn't have said anymore.

"Ren as Supreme Leader will take some... getting used to." He wasn't hiding the fact that he was speaking through gritted teeth, and for the first time since her world had gotten even more confusing, she actually laughed.

"Don't worry, I'm sure he won't kill you this early into his reign." She teased.

"I wouldn't make any assumptions until our first meeting." He snorted, "He's wanted me dead for longer than you've been awake."

Having the man she loved and probably her only real friend on base want the other dead wasn't what she would describe as practical. But the longer she could keep Hux in the dark about her relationship with Kylo, the better. She didn't want him to feel as though she would turn against him. She also didn't want anyone to assume that she was sleeping her way to the top.

"I know what it's like to be on his kill list." She shrugged, although she clearly wasn't on it anymore, hopefully her words could provide some comfort.

"Yes, and somehow you also know how to get off the list. Perhaps you can share your secret with me." He rolled his eyes and focused back on his food.

"Trust me when I say you wouldn't want to use my method." She told him jokingly, trying to play off the fact that her method had actually been being one half of a Force Dyad and then sleeping with him...

She did feel sorry for Hux. No matter what happened, with Kylo in charge things were never going to be the same for him. Snoke had given him so much freedom and control over the armies, but that was definitely going to change.

A serving droid came by and collected Hux's empty bowl and Andal's empty cup. She didn't have much of an appetite, she just needed the caffeine to give her some energy. Kylo had summoned a number of high command officers to the bridge, hopefully his meditation had prepared him well enough for the meeting.

"I suppose we had best go." Hux prompted, "We wouldn't want to be late for our new leader." He sneered as he rose to his feet, Andal following.

Hux had led the way to the bridge, where the setup looked near-identical to The Supremacy. The conference room was even in the same place.

They were the last to arrive, with the exception of Kylo. But she could sense him lurking nearby.

_You are not seriously hiding and waiting for us to all be here before you enter are you?_

She mocked him, wanting nothing more than to ruin his little scheme and refuse to enter. But it was his first day, she wasn't that cruel.

_Just kriffing go inside._

A smirk briefly broke out on her lips at that. He was actually _nervous_ , and that seemed so unlike him. Nevertheless she sat down opposite Hux and glanced at the faces around them. The energy in the room was abuzz, everyone anticipating this new beginning for the First Order.

Kylo entered, and everyone rose to their feet out of respect. He situated himself at the head of the table and sat down, before ordering them to all do the same.

"I'm sure you've all heard that Supreme Leader Snoke was killed." He began, "But we need to move on. The First Order will _rise,_ and we will crush the Resistance."

"And how do you propose we do that, Sir?" Of course Hux was the first to speak up. He really didn't help his case.

"We rule with an iron fist. We learn from the mistakes of the Empire." He spared a glance at Andal, who gave a small nod. "Commander Andal and I have an off-base matter we need to attend to, but I will be gone for no longer than one standard planetary rotation."

Her brow furrowed, whatever this mission was it was the first she was hearing of it. However she knew better than the speak up now when Kylo was in the middle of his monologue.

"When I return I'll be introducing a new a new high command structure." He then informed, causing a few looks to be exchanged across the table.

"Supreme Leader- forgive me, but is it really wise to be leaving base so soon after such an incident?" Admiral Griss spoke up, and Kylo narrowed his eyes. He was about to explode into an angry fit, she could tell, so she stepped in before he could turn his first Supreme Leader meeting into a huge mess.

"This is a matter regarding the Force and the Jedi. It cannot wait." She still had no clue what the actual matter was, but she equally didn't want Kylo to lose control of high command on the first day. They were like a pack of vultures, waiting for the first opportunity to destroy their new leader unless he proved himself.

Nobody could pretend to understand anything regarding the Force, therefore they had no grounds to argue with her. Kylo looked at her, his expression was blank but she could tell he was grateful.

"Very well." Griss quickly backed down.

"Whilst I'm gone, find the Resistance." He ordered, before dismissing the meeting.

Everyone was quick to file out, muttering amongst themselves. She nodded at Hux, signalling him not to wait for her, whilst she hung back to wait for Kylo. When the blast doors shut and left them alone, she spoke.

"An off-base matter?" She raised an eyebrow.

"We're going to Tatooine." He stated, as if it were obvious and her face dropped.

"Are you serious?" After discovering the truth and talking to Anakin, Andal wasn't even sure she still wanted to go to Tatooine. She was quite happy living in denial for a bit longer.

"I promised that I'd take you there, and now without Snoke there's nothing stopping us." His brow furrowed. "I thought this was what you wanted."

"It was... but now I just want everything to go back to normal." She sighed, moving to sit on the conference table.

"And what was normal? Palpatine taking your memories? Snoke trying to have us kill each other?" He moved to stand in front of her, his hands gently resting on her thighs and soothingly moving in small up and down motions. "Nothing will ever be normal until you stop pretending that your past doesn't exist."

"Okay, then I want things to keep being _not_ normal." She concluded, and Kylo just looked at her a very pointed gaze. "What?" She asked, feigning innocence.

He said nothing, just kept staring at her now with an eyebrow raised.

" _What,_ Kylo? Stop staring at me." She hopped off the table, but he didn't move to accommodate her, so she wound up sandwiched between his chest and the table. 

"Hanger, _now._ " He said, quietly. He knew that she was just trying to deflect things, he was in her head for kriffs sake.

"We're _not_ going." She adamantly told him, but he just smirked in response.

><><><><><><><><><

"Cleared for takeoff, Sir." A voice came through the ship's comms, and Andal huffed from where she was slumped in the co-pilot's seat.

"I cannot believe you managed to get me on-board."

"I did nothing. You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to be." He aptly pointed out.

She remained silent at this, and Kylo took it as his cue to take off. Andal was clearly lost in her thoughts, it was written all over her face.

Things still didn't add up in her head. The memories were hazy, as if she were underwater and looking up at them above the surface. But the Force was ever present, pulling her in the direction of Tatooine - the closer they travelled, the strong the pull felt.

Once they were safely travelling at light speed, Andal wordlessly rose from her seat and left the cockpit. Tatooine was a desert planet, and the twin suns made the atmosphere quite unforgiving. Once she was on the lower deck she went to the on-board quarters.

There wasn't much to see, just a bed, 'fresher and small closet. Opening it, she found there weren't any decent clothing options in there for her. In fact, all she could find were Kylo's clothes, which made sense considering this was his ship.

Sighing, she opted to just remove her cloak, hanging it in the closet for safe keeping. She had always been so cold on base, could it be because she grew up in desert climate? Maybe all this time she had just been built for the heat.

_Come back, we're about to land._

Kylo's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She took a deep breath, she never thought she would be so close to discovering the truth about herself - well, she technically knew the truth, she just wasn't ready to believe it.

She made it back to the cockpit and into her seat just in time for them to come out of hyperspace. As soon as she laid eyes on Tatooine she felt a wave of familiarity pass over her in the Force.

"There's not much in the way of directions past this point." Kylo pointed out to her as they began to descend towards the planet's surface.

She nodded, and focused for a moment, allowing the Force to guide her. "That way." She then said, pointing north. In her head she could hear the whispers of a voice, it was difficult to make sense of what it was saying.

"Can you hear that?" She asked Kylo, who furrowed his brow.

"No. What is it?" He looked slightly concerned, and rightfully so. There was nothing that they didn't share now, and the fact that she was hearing something through the Force that he wasn't was definitely intentional by whoever was reaching out to her.

"It's..." She paused, trying to block out all the background noise and focus on the voice that was talking to her.

Then she heard it, plain as day. The closer she got, the louder it became.

"The Jundland Wastelands, it's here - set us down." She quickly told Kylo, who didn't argue for a second.

In the vision, she had seen Vader walking across these exact dunes.

Once he had landed, they both went down to the lower deck and watched the boarding ramp lower. Immediately the heat hit them both, even whilst still on board. Andal enjoyed the gust of warmth, whilst Kylo just looked at her in disbelief. 

"It's _hot."_ He pointed out.

"Well spotted." She raised an eyebrow as she took in his appearance. "You're really not going to want to wear all of those layers.

"I'll be fine." He shrugged, taking off down the ramp before she could stop him.

"Then it's your funeral." She rolled her eyes at his typical stubborn attitude and followed him out onto the sand.

He had stopped at the base of the ramp, looking to her to guide them. He was clearly already struggling in the heat but biting his tongue.

Andal crouched on the sand, placing her hand on the burning surface. She reached out to the Force flowing through the planet, looking to it to guide her.

She soon rose back to her feet, "follow me." She quietly said, Kylo doing so.

They marched across the vast landscape, Kylo remained trailing a few steps behind. She could feel him overheating, but knew that if she made anymore sarcastic comments he would only be more stubborn about removing any layers.

"I hate sand." He grumbled, and she looked back at him with a knowing smirk on her lips. "What?" He then asked.

"Nothing... you just sound a lot your grandfather." She commented, and immediately she sensed how much pride he took in hearing that.

As they crossed the Jundland Wastelands and into the Western Dune Sea the pull in the Force was getting stronger, and it was practically electrifying her veins as they reached a homestead in amongst the dunes.

"This is it." She exhaled a short breath, stopping in her tracks which finally allowed Kylo to catch up with her.

He really wasn't built for this climate, he had decided that within moments of arriving on Tatooine. Andal on the other hand, he watched her move through the sand as if it were just another duracrete path. He had no reason to disbelieve what Rey had told them in the throne room, but if he did need any proof that Andal had grown up on Tatooine that was enough.

Sandstorms had largely buried parts of the home, but it was still accessible where it was raised above the dunes. Kylo silently followed her as she entered. Inside the scene was largely the same, the place clearly hadn't been lived in for years, but at some point it had been ransacked - there were practically no belongings left in the place.

It wasn't huge, there were two beds in the living area and a raised kitchen towards the back of the hut. As they explored around, Andal felt herself being drawn to a chest that was situated towards the right of the entrance.

He sensed the mood, and knew this was something she had to do alone. With that in mind, he busied himself looking around the rest of the small hut, or what wasn't buried beneath sand at least.

Words were swilling round in her head as she dropped to her knees to open the chest.

_If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine._

_Had you said the word, I would have left the Jedi Order._

_You were my brother Anakin, I loved you!_

_We will take the boy, and I will watch over him._

She heard all of those words and more as she reached into the chest, retrieving the Saber hilt that she had watched Vader place in there in her vision.

As soon as her hand wrapped around the hilt, it was like a wave crashed over her. She could see it all, her childhood, her days in exile with her father, and the moment where it all came crumbling down.

She remembered screaming and struggling as Palpatine forcefully invaded her mind. He had taken everything from her, and Vader replaced it with someone entirely different.

Every atrocity she had ever committed suddenly washed over her, she had become the very thing she was raised to fight against. She had killed thousands, been part of the facist organisation that had killed the only family she had left. All these years she was doing what she was led to believe was right, but now bile was rising in her throat as she comprehended the consequences of her actions.

"I'm sorry..." She whispered, knowing that somewhere in the Force her father was listening. Anakin had said that from the moment she had been born she had been tied to a destiny, did that mean Obi Wan had also known?

She was overcome with grief, as well as the guilt of her own actions. She had lived two conflicting lives, and suddenly they were fighting to become one.

Standing, she looked over to where Kylo was sat on the edge of a sand-covered bed. That had been her bed for the best part of nineteen years, now she recognised it all, and realised that this hut truly felt like home.

He had felt the massive shift in the Force, and now the conflict she felt within herself quite possibly trumped his own. He had chosen to kill Ben Solo and rise as Kylo Ren, but Y/N Kenobi had never asked to give up her life and become Darth Andal.

When she walked over to him he stood up, his breath catching in his throat. He was worried about what she might say, did this change things between them? Would she stay with the First Order? Would she stay with him?

Silently, she answered these questions just by wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning against his chest to which he responded by pulling her closer, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

She couldn't leave him, he was all she had left.

They remained comfortably in each other embraces for a few minutes. He didn't know what to say, he couldn't think of anything that she would want to hear in that moment. But she seemed content in his arms.

"Thank you." She soon said, drawing away from him to look up at his face.

"For what?" His brow furrowed.

"For making me come here."

She had been so afraid of what she might find, afraid of losing the woman she had become. But now having that mental block lifted from her mind, despite the guilt and grief that came with it, she felt truly complete, for the first time in as long as she could remember.

"We should go." Kylo reluctantly said. He was ever-conscious of the fact that the First Order was in disarray, and it was his job to set it straight. He had chosen to prioritise the journey to Tatooine because he knew that if he was going to rule the First Order he would need her at his side, and he needed her to be focused. With Snoke dead, he was feeling more sure of himself than ever, he hoped that this would do the same for Andal.

"Give me a minute." She said, turning back to the chest in the corner of the room. The only other thing in there was Obi Wan's cloak, the same one he had worn for years. She picked it up and draped it over her arm, there were no other possessions left here for her to take, everything else had been ransacked, but she could at least cling to what she had.

When she stood and turned around, she gave Kylo a nod. Silently confirming that she was ready to leave.

As they began the long trek back to Kylo's ship, a silence hung in the air. They had plenty to talk about, but Kylo just didn't know how to start the conversation. Thankfully, she did it for him.

"Your uncle grew up just over there." She pointed towards the horizon where there was a homestead visible just in the distance. She knew Kylo most likely didn't want to hear about Luke, but it was the best she could do to break the silence.

"Did you see him much?" It was hard for Kylo to believe that she had actually grown up being a few years older than Luke. Carbon-freezing really did make things confusing, technically she was in her fifties, but biologically she was still two years younger than him.

"Occasionally." She shrugged, "my father would check up on him, and sometimes I would run into him." Perhaps she was dulling it down, growing up Luke had really been her only friend, although there hadn't been much choice given that they were the only two young people living on the Jundland Wastelands.

"What did you do all day?" Kylo asked as he gazed around the desolate landscape, "There's not much here." His face screwed up, he really couldn't imagine living there.

"I would meditate a lot, and train with my father. There's the Mos Eisley spaceport nearby, but it's no holiday destination." She grimaced. She would never go to Mos Eisley unarmed...

"So you were a Jedi?" He slowly asked, trying to piece things together himself.

Things almost seemed a bit awkward between them now. Although Kylo knew that she loved him and vice versa, he felt as though he was meeting her all over again for the first time. There was so much he didn't know.

On the flip-side, she was processing that not long ago she had been walking across Tatooine as if it were a foreign land, but now suddenly everything felt so familiar. The only constant in her life now was Kylo. He was the only thing worth staying with the First Order for - she had no stake in the war other than him.

"The Jedi were dead, and any who weren't were considered war criminals. But yes, I suppose I was..." She trailed off, fondly remembering the days she would spend training from dawn till dusk with her father. He had taught her so much about the Force, so much that she hadn't remembered until now.

Vader had always said she'd been a natural at combat, and it turns out that hadn't been dumb luck, it was because she had spent her life training.

He wanted to ask what she was now. Jedi, Sith, or something else. But he bit his tongue, sensing that this wasn't the time or place, he could tell that she hadn't worked it out herself yet.

The rest of their walk was silent. She was silently calculating things in her head, and trying to process her guilt. Whilst Kylo simply listened to her through the Force, giving her the space she needed.

When they boarded the Silencer, they immediately climbed up to the cockpit, and she sat in the co-pilot's seat, fiddling with Obi Wan's Saber hilt aimlessly in her hands.

He wanted to do something to distract her, otherwise she was going to keep punishing herself for actions that she had no control over. She had served the Empire because that's what she believed was right at the time.

"Get up." He caught her attention, and she turned to him with her brow furrowed.

"What? Why?" She questioned.

"Because you're flying." A small smirk settled on his lips, and she looked at him in disbelief.

"Has the heat gone to your head, or are you just trying to kill us?" She gave a snark response. 

"One day you'll thank me." When she didn't move, he prompted her by motioning with his hand for her to swap seats.

Reluctantly, she moved herself into the pilot's seat and she immediately looked at him for direction.

He exhaled a chuckle and moved to stand behind her. "Here-" He prompted, moving her hand to the relevant control to fire the engines up, "now you just need to takeoff."

"You say that like it's easy." She huffed.

She knew Kylo was trying to distract her, but she was grateful for that. The more she thought about the things she had done over the years, the more she hated herself for it. They had a lot to talk about, they still hadn't touched on the fact that she spoke to Anakin on Crait, let alone Snoke's death, their relationship and now her past. But for now, she just focused on her impromptu piloting lesson - it was a very welcome distraction.

In her eyes, she was irredeemable. But maybe that was okay, she didn't need to be a Jedi or a Sith. Once upon a time she had dreamt of being a Jedi, just like Obi Wan, but now she was on her own path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so excited to finallly write about reader's past etc, and more of her background is explored in the coming chapters!!
> 
> The plan for this fic is nearly entirely completed chapter by chapter so I can finally update with how many chapters will be remaining, but there is still plenty of twists and turns to come - I really want to keep it exciting for you all. But yeah, I love reading all of your comments and stuff and I'm so glad you've all enjoyed it up to now!


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo begins to make some changes around the First Order, whilst Darth Andal attempts to find balance between her two identities.
> 
> She realises that it's finally time to open up to Ren.

Despite having only spent a few nights in bed with Kylo, it suddenly felt wrong to wake up alone.

When they got back from Tatooine, she had just needed time alone to process. She could sense how much Kylo was worrying about her, but after taking time to meditate in the peace and quiet of her own quarters, she felt a lot more centred and ready to talk to him.

She had accepted that Y/N Kenobi was now apart of her, but she remained adamant that Darth Andal was who she wanted to be. A Kenobi had no place in the world anymore... Her priority was getting her life back on track, she didn't want to allow herself to keep suffering. She was stronger than that.

Part of that process was talking to Kylo. He was such a big part of her life now that he deserved to know who she really was. He had been the person who first pushed her to pursue her memories, and he was the only person she felt comfortable sharing things with.

They had a meeting this morning, she was hoping he'd have the time to speak to her afterwards.

The knock at her door was right on schedule, but she expected nothing less from Hux. The man ran like clockwork. She had sent him a message asking him to come and get her since she still wasn't sure she could get to the bridge without getting lost. It was just as well Kylo wasn't in her bed...

She greeted the General, who had a nervous energy dancing around him in the Force, he was still concerned that Kylo would kill him.

"How long ago did you and Ren get back?" Hux asked.

"Late into the night shift." Andal responded, giving a small shrug.

"And did you find whatever it was you were looking for?" He prompted. She could only assume that after they had left there had been many rumours flying around about what the purpose of this alleged Force-related mission had been.

She paused for a moment before replying, "Yeah, I think we did." The smallest of smiles was on her lips. She really had found what she was looking for: balance within herself.

"Well at least a successful mission might put Ren in a decent mood today." He snorted.

"Kriff Hux, you're so worried about him killing you, you must be sleeping with one eye open." She scoffed in response, and he gave her a pointed look. " _Really?_ You're that concerned?"

"You don't know Ren like I do." He grumbled as they approached the bridge and she bit her lip to stifle an ironic laugh.

"Oh, I just might." She muttered under her breath. If only Hux knew...

When they entered, their conversation fell silent. Kylo was watching members of high command file into the conference room, and she could feel a pang of jealousy when he saw her arrive with Hux.

_Relax, I just didn't want to get lost._

She decided to reassure him on this occasion, rather than tease him.

_I don't trust him._

_If it helps, he doesn't trust you either._

He visibly rolled his eyes at that comment, but as her and Hux passed to enter the conference room, she stopped in front of Kylo for the briefest moment, but he spoke before she could.

"I need to talk to you after the meeting." He urged, and she furrowed her brow. "What?" He then said, reading her expression.

"Nothing-" she laughed slightly, "I was just going to say the same to you."

They couldn't risk standing and talking for long, so he just nodded before ushering her into the conference room.

She took her usual seat at the top of the table, opposite Hux, who still looked unnerved. Kylo entered moments later, forgoing his seat to stand at the head of the table.

"We still have no leads on the Resistance, when I seem to remember specifically leaving you with orders to find them." His fist slammed down on the table as his voice boomed. A few members of high command jumped at the action, but Andal remained completely still.

"With all due respect Supreme Leader," Griss spoke up, "you left the First Order in its hour of need. We couldn't be expected to-" his voice was cut off when he clawed at his throat. Kylo's hand was of course outstretched, choking the air from his lungs.

A few people looked to Andal to step in, just as she had done when Hux had been in Griss' situation. But she just shrugged, this wasn't something she had any desire to involve herself in, and if she did step in, the insubordination towards Kylo would only multiply.

"When I give you orders, I expect you to fulfil them." He slowly growled, before releasing Griss who immediately gasped for air.

"F-forgive me Supreme Leader." Griss spluttered out, rubbing his throat.

Andal noticed the energy in the room shift towards that of fear. Where before they may have dared question Kylo's orders, they certainly wouldn't now. It was an unorthodox method of gaining respect, but it seemed to be effective.

"I'm reorganising our high command structure." He suddenly announced, and that grabbed even her attention. Hux in particular perked right up.

"Following advice that was discussed in a previous meeting a number of officials, including many of you in this room, will become my Supreme Council." He plainly explained, and she immediately remembered the high command meeting in which she had mentioned that the Empire should've had a stronger chain of command to hold Palpatine to account. He was actually taking her advice...

"A number of your positions will be changing. This council will consist only of generals and admirals." At this, she could practically watch Hux choke on thin air in sheer disbelief. "But, one of you will be promoted to allegiant general to oversee this council and report to me directly."

She raised an eyebrow at 'allegiant general,' that was a position she had never heard of in all her years. He had definitely just made that up on the spot.

Hux already looked defeated, he was about to go from the most accomplished general in the First Order to a council member among equals. He never for a moment thought Ren would give him the allegiant general position, and he was probably right.

"And dare I ask who will be 'allegiant general?'" Hux piped up, his tone was dry and he made air-quotes with his hands. He wasn't even pretending to be happy about the situation.

"I'll be deciding over the next few rotations." For once he allowed Hux's disdain to slide. He clearly had a reason for announcing this and then waiting before actually promoting anyone. "In the meantime, get me a lead on the Resistance." He ordered, before waving his hand to dismiss everyone.

She had never seen everyone scramble to their feet and hurry back to work so quickly. But that's when it clicked, he probably already knew who he was going to promote, but acting as though he was undecided was sure to boost everyone's work ethic... everyone's except Hux's, who trailed out of the room last.

"Clever." Andal said once they were alone.

He immediately knew what she was talking about, and he nodded, "I thought so."

"Come up with it all on your own?" She then teased, and he rolled his eyes at that.

"Obviously." The sarcasm had gone right over his head, unsurprisingly. "What did you want to talk to me about?" He then asked, and she froze on the spot. She had no idea how to start this conversation, these sort of emotional shortcomings were everything she had been trained against as both a Jedi and a Sith.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm ready to talk." She eventually said, exhaling a long breath, "I know you have questions." She then added.

Kylo nodded, he had plenty of questions. About her, about them, but now wasn't the time to get into it. He had many other commitments throughout the rotation and this was something that he wanted to properly dedicate his time to.

"Tonight." He simply responded, and she nodded.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" She then prompted.

"I want you to be allegiant general." He said, completely monotone as if it were no big deal.

"I'm sorry I must have hallucinated-" She raised an eyebrow, sitting back down in the chair she had been sat in for the meeting, "did you just ask me to be allegiant general?"

"Yes." He furrowed his brow, "you seem surprised."

"Because I am!" She laughed dryly, "Kylo, can you not see that this is a terrible idea?"

"Why?" He really did look confused, meanwhile Andal looked at him in disbelief.

"Let me paint you a picture: not long ago we're fighting in the middle of high command meetings, everyone thinks we want each other dead. Not long after we're the only two people who saw Snoke die, and on Crait we looked... too comfortable together. How do you think it'll look if you promote me to allegiant general? Me, the ex-apprentice of Vader who hasn't even been part of the First Order for an entire cycle yet." She didn't want to say it aloud, but she knew people were suspicious about their relationship, and the nature of Snoke's death. It would simply look like she was sleeping with the Supreme Leader to get promoted.

Although, she _did_ enjoy sleeping with the Supreme Leader.

The smirk that briefly crossed his lips made it obvious that he heard that last comment, and she pinched the bridge of her nose, "Kylo, focus." Maker, she sounded like Hux.

"So you're saying you don't want to be allegiant general?" He had taken in everything she said, but he didn't fully understand it. In his eyes, he was the Supreme Leader now so he could do whatever he wanted.

"I'm not saying this as-" What word was she supposed to use? Girlfriend, friend, _colleague?_ "-half of a dyad, but as your advisor: it's not a good idea to give me the position. It's not a case of want." She sighed, standing back up to face him.

"Fine." He conceded, "Then, _General,_ who do you think should be in charge of the council?" Now that was a promotion she definitely could get onboard with.

"You won't like my suggestion." She grimaced, and that inadvertently told him her answer.

"Hux is lucky he's not dead yet, he can forget being in charge of anything." He snorted, and she rolled her eyes, she wasn't going to argue about it again.

"Then I have no suggestions for you." She shrugged.

"What about Pryde?" He mused, and she screwed her face up in distaste, which he immediately spotted, "You disagree?"

"He's a good general, but I dislike him for... personal reasons." She grumbled. Pryde had served the Empire years ago, and even then he had a certain distaste for Darth Andal. They frequently clashed, he had never seen her as worth anything more than Vader's apprentice. Thankfully she hadn't had to interact directly with him since joining the Order as he was posted aboard the Steadfast star destroyer.

"Would he be a problem for you?" He was clearly Kylo's only viable choice right now, and she wasn't going to allow her petty issues to make his life more difficult.

"No, the Empire was years ago now, and I'm nobody's apprentice anymore." She nodded firmly, and Kylo didn't exactly understand the context of her dislike for Pryde, but he appreciated her pushing it aside for him.

"Good." He said, before glancing at the door, as if expecting someone to enter at any moment, "I need to go, but I need you to do something else for me." As they both walked towards the blast doors he stopped for a moment.

"Sure." She raised an eyebrow. She agreed before he had even told her what it was, but she was willing to do whatever he asked of her.

"I need you to take over training my Knights." Now that request really did catch her by surprise.

"Everyday?" She questioned.

"I'll still be there when I can, but I need someone I can trust to train them." It was a small gesture, but even hearing that he trusted her made her heart jump a bit.

They were then interrupted by an officer informing Kylo that there was a diplomatic meeting he had to attend, so their conversation was cut short. But she knew she would see him later.

With her new status as a general not yet official, she had a free schedule for the remainder of the rotation which was a welcome rarity. It meant time for some quiet training and meditation.

After being directed to the training facility, she locked herself in the private training room which was generally used by the her, Kylo and the Knights. Usually she would release her emotions through vigorous cardio training, but since recalling her previous Jedi training she had a new desire to find better ways to channel and overcome them.

With everything that had happened recently she had barely processed Phasma's death. In a way it had been good that she had been distracted, the same thing had happened when she woke up and had to process Vader's death - she had been too busy to get lost in her mourning. 

She sat down in the middle of the floor and centred her mind, reaching out into the Force. She tried to block Kylo out of her head whilst she meditated, she knew he would be easily distracted from his meeting by whatever she saw in the Force.

As the Force engulfed her, she relaxed completely. Her life came flashing before her eyes: a child who dreamt of becoming a diplomat to follow in her mother's footsteps, being ripped from the only life she had known and given a new dream: being a Jedi, like her father. Another dream which she lost when they left their exile to rescue a Princess. The Princess who became mother to Kylo Ren.

Now where did that leave her?

She had felt a tremendous amount of guilt towards her father and his legacy for the things she had done for the Empire, but equally she knew she had to come to terms with it. Anakin had told her that he was proud of her, regardless. At the time she had discounted those words, but now she truly appreciated them.

_Trust in the Force._

She recalled him saying to her in their final moments together as master and apprentice, and now the Force was only pointing her towards Kylo. The First Order meant very little to her, but he meant everything to her.

Hours flew by whilst she meditated and trained drills with her Saber. In the back of her mind she thought about using Obi Wan's Lightsaber, which was stashed in her quarters. The crystal in his Saber called to her, but so did the one in Vader's old weapon. For now at least, she was sticking to what she knew.

When she was interrupted by her stomach rumbling, she had gone to the mess hall to eat. She felt very sure of herself, that she was fulfilling the will of the Force by staying with the Order. Besides, if she left she had nowhere to go - she wasn't spoilt for choice when it came to family these days. She had convinced herself that this was her only option.

Hux had joined her to eat, and surprisingly he seemed quite upbeat. Whilst she was coming to terms with her two identities, he was accepting that he was essentially getting demoted. Perhaps it was the fact that he had spent the entire meal bitching about Kylo that cheered him up, but she was happy enough to be a listening ear, especially if it took the suspicion away from her relationship with Kylo.

She went back to her quarters after eating, and once she had showered she was relieved to slip into black sweatpants and a jumper to match. She had intended to see if Kylo was in his quarters, which was only a few doors down from hers. But she got distracted by a pull in the Force, and she immediately knew where it was coming from.

Andal reached out with her right hand and summoned Obi Wan's Saber from where it was sat on her kitchenette counter. For the first time, she activated it and the blue blade roared to life. It buzzed as if it had only just been used yesterday, when in reality it had been the best part of thirty five years.

It felt equal in weight to Vader's when she spun it, and she swung it a few times to get a good feel from it. Curious, she then summoned her Saber to her right hand and activated it. Swinging the two blades in tandem created a slightly purple hue in the air. Dual-wielding felt strangely natural.

After a few minutes of aimless swinging she retracted both of the blades.

_Are you in your quarters?_

She reached out to Kylo. It was late enough now that he should be out of his various meetings.

_Yes._

It was a simple response, but Kylo wasn't one to mince his words.

She placed the two Sabers down on the table beside the blast doors to her quarters and slowly poked her head out into the corridor to check that the coast was clear. With nobody around she took her chance and bolted down to Kylo's door.

The doors opened as soon as she appeared in front of them, which meant he had been expecting her.

Kylo was splayed across his couch wearing just sweatpants and a t-shirt. He had his data-pad in hand and she snorted at the sight.

"Working out of hours now? Being Supreme Leader has changed you." She teased, and he shifted his legs ago to allow her room to sit beside him.

"And has being a Kenobi changed you?" His tone was slightly teasing, but it didn't make his words any less direct. She sighed loudly as she threw herself down beside him.

"A little." She admitted, "but I feel... complete. Not to mention we can both finally sleep without being woken up by visions." She pointed out, and he leaned forward to place his data-pad down.

"Yeah I really hated finding an excuse to come to your quarters at night." He exhaled a laugh and sat back, turning himself to face her. She was being swallowed by the baggy sweats and jumper she was wearing, but she looked cosy... he liked it.

"You think you still need an excuse?" She smirked.

"I guess I don't." He took her response as an open invitation, which really it was.

They fell silent again after that, neither of them knowing where to start. But eventually Kylo broke it by bringing up something that had been plaguing his mind.

"My grandfather turned back to the light." It was a statement, rather than a question. He wasn't even sure what he wanted Andal to say, but he had spent years practically worshipping Vader, only to find out that he had turned back to the light at the eleventh hour.

"It's funny, when I saw him for the first time I felt betrayed too. But now I remember _Anakin,_ and not just Vader." She drew her legs up onto the couch to sit crosslegged.

"Did you know him before?" Kylo looked confused. Andal was one of the rarest people: born before the Clone Wars began, survived the fall of the Republic, helped command the Empire and now was a general in the First Order. She really had done it all.

"I did when I was a youngling... I was born on Mandalore, but when my mother-" she cleared her throat, these were still raw feelings, "-when she died, my father had no choice but to take me to Coruscant. I was only there for a few months before the Republic fell, but I saw Anakin once or twice. When we left for Tatooine, my father would talk about him a lot - he felt guilty." She explained.

That in itself left Kylo with multiple questions to add to the pile, but now that she was volunteering information it was much easier for him to ask them.

"Who was your mother?" He asked. She could read between the lines there, he wanted to know how she had died.

"Her name was Satine Kryze, she was the Duchess of Mandalore." Andal sighed as she recalled memories of her mother. They had been her happiest years, living in blissful naivety.

She had always been described as a natural diplomat, and whilst Obi Wan was famed for being 'The Negotiator,' she knew her natural aptitude for it came from Satine.

"Mandalore?" He interrupted her in disbelief.

"It wasn't what it is now." She exhaled a dry laugh, the planet was a mere wasteland of the thriving state it once was, now it was commonly associated with the Mandalorian clan. "Believe it or not my mother was a pacifist. She was adamant on keeping Mandalore out of the Clone Wars, but it came to us anyway." The mood was downcast now, and Kylo could sense it. He moved his hand to gently rub her knee.

"What happened?" He asked.

"A Sith Lord murdered her to punish my father. I watched it happen, and I spent a long time blaming him." She admitted, finding her pulse rising as she recalled those painful memories. These were emotions that she was far from used to experiencing, she had been without this pain for so long - it was the downside to regaining her old identity.

Kylo didn't know what to say, he could sense that she didn't need comforting. These were things she had come to terms with long ago, but that didn't make them hurt any less.

"I'm sorry." He simply responded, and she appreciated that.

She knew this life was the furthest from what her mother had wanted for her. She had been raised to renounce violence of any kind, only to be complicit in the destruction of entire worlds years later. But Anakin had said that the Force had her marked since the day she was born, so it seemed as though she never would have been destined to stay on Mandalore with Satine.

"It was a long time ago." She brushed it off, but that didn't mean she couldn't feel the hurt anymore.

"Your father was a Jedi..." Kylo was slowly calculating things in his head.

"Well spotted." She laughed slightly, unsure on his angle.

"How did he take you to Coruscant without the Jedi finding out?" It was a good question, one that perhaps she had been too young to understand herself at the time.

Of course Kylo, Ben at the time, had been taught by Luke that Jedi forbade attachments, but they were both living proof that the rule was somewhat flexible.

"By the time I was taken to the temple, the Jedi were a mess. Palpatine was operating just under their noses and they were so distracted by the war that my father was able to conceal my heritage from them. After a few months Order 66 was declared, and we had to go into exile." Ironically a lot of that history she had learnt from Vader whilst serving the Empire, rather than from the Jedi. At the time, Obi Wan had never explained anything to her, only that he would have to keep his distance and she could not discuss her parentage with anyone.

Kylo felt closer to her, feeling her let that guard down made him want to do the same. It was a feeling he had never felt, after years of expelling Ben Solo and his emotions from his life, suddenly he had the desire to open up about them.

"When did you meet my parents?" He asked, before even thinking about what he was asking. Even Andal looked at him, taken aback at the question.

"Uh- well, I met Han on Tatooine. He was in Mos Eisley, unsurprisingly getting himself into trouble. We hired him to take us to Alderaan where we were supposed to meet your mother, but Vader had destroyed the planet and had her as a hostage. It then became a rescue mission, and you know how that ended." Saying it aloud now, it really did sound crazy...

"You know I never wanted to be a Jedi." Kylo suddenly spluttered out, unsure as to why he was sharing this. It wasn't something he had ever told anyone.

"What did you want to be?" She hummed, now opting to stretch her legs out to rest on his lap.

"A pilot." He responded, and she knew he had wanted to say 'like my father,' but couldn't bring himself to. His feelings towards Han were still raw and painful.

"You're a good pilot." She mused, before grinning softly at him to lighten the mood, "and a good teacher."

"Glad you think so." He smirked slightly, absentmindedly massaging her shins which were resting on his legs.

"What about-" she cut herself off, having not thought before speaking. There was only one topic left for them to get out into the open, and it was the one that was the hardest to address.

"-us?" He finished the sentence, looking just as uncomfortable as she did.

"Nobody can know." She swiftly told him, "there'll be too many questions about Snoke's death."

He knew she was right, and nodded. Part of him didn't want to keep sneaking around, but neither of them could risk the scrutiny and suspicion surrounding Snoke's death.

"And aside from keeping it secret?" He prompted, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Aside from that... I feel like this is where I'm meant to be." Her answer was simple. They loved each other and neither of them knew how to express it aloud, but just knowing was enough.

"Me too." He gently moved her legs to stand up and offered her a hand to join him.

He pulled her to her feet, and straight towards his lips, which was a very welcome surprise. The kiss was hungry, they had both been waiting for this since the day the Supremacy had fallen. Now things were out in the open and they had both shown vulnerability to each other, it just made them more comfortable together.

Kylo wasted no time in scooping her up into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist. Their kisses seemed to be a constant battle for dominance, but that wasn't unlike their relationship - neither had ever liked conceding to the other.

As he carried her to the bedroom, he moved to hold her with one arm, whilst his other began to wrestle with the jumper she was wearing.

There were ways to express feelings without using words...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who doesn't watch The Clone Wars series - Satine is a character in that, and her and Obi Wan are in love and tbh I stan them together, so this was always going to be the parentage choice!


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding balance between two conflicting identities was never going to be easy, but things finally do seem to be getting easier.
> 
> Of course, Supreme Leader Ren has to throw a spanner into the works.

"Cardo and Vicrul, you're up." Andal ordered as Trudgen pulled Ap'lek back to his feet following their spar.

Weeks had flown by. Pryde was adjusting to his role as Allegiant General, Andal amongst numerous others was adjusting to the role of General, Hux was just becoming less interested as the days went by, and behind closed doors she was still sneaking around with Kylo.

Training sessions with the Knights were now actually what she looked forward to everyday. They were a welcome change of pace from being in and out of meetings and coordinating dead-end missions to find the Resistance. She wasn't truly invested in the work she was doing for the First Order, and admittedly her morals no longer agreed with it. Without Kylo there was nothing keeping her there. She didn't care about the Resistance, or the war.

Andal remembered how nervous she was the first time she had to train the Knights without Kylo there. Although at the time, she was certain they hated her just as much as their master did - and a lot had changed since then.

Although something that was irking her more and more every session was how the Knights were behaving so formally and uptight around her. Usually when Kylo wasn't around they were happy to let loose and speak freely around her. Kriff, Cardo hadn't even flirted with her in a long time, and that truly was out of character.

"Stop stepping before you strike!" She barked at Cardo as the two Knights sparred.

The match was over quickly, Vicrul sent his brother flying to the ground. Andal smirked slightly, and walked over to offer Cardo a hand to pull him back to his feet.

"And that's why I tell you not to step." She teased him as he took her hand.

"I know General, I'll work on it." He nodded and moved over to join his brothers.

She furrowed her brow, "What's going on with all of you? You're treating me like I'm Ren." She grimaced at that.

"Well General..." Ushar began, inhaling a breath "we don't want Master Ren thinking that we're too comfortable around you since you're in charge of our training now."

"There must be more to it than that." She scoffed, "I've seen Cardo make passes at me when Ren has been stood right here."

"But that was before-" Cardo cut himself off when the others shot him a look.

"Before what?"Andal prompted, narrowing her eyes.

He sighed, knowing he'd stuck his foot in it, "Before you and Master Ren stopped hating each other. Now you're kinda his girl..." He trailed off towards the end, and rightfully so because Andal choked on thin air.

" _What?"_ She spluttered, her eyes widening. As far as she was concerned everything between her and Kylo was a secret, even from the Knights. Had he told them?

"Well we've all noticed it, General. You used to nearly kill each other every training session." Ushar pointed out.

"You wouldn't even turn your backs on each other." Kuruk chimed in, and the others muttered in agreement.

"And? Just because we don't hate each other, doesn't mean I'm 'his girl.'" She scoffed. Thankfully lying was something she could excel at, because she couldn't deny that there was in fact some truth to what the Knights were saying.

Or a lot of truth.

"Whatever you say General, but we've seen the way he looks at you." Vicrul pointed out.

"And the way you look at him." Trudgen then added.

"We're not risking a scolding from Master Ren for being too familiar with you." Ap'lek concluded, earning a chorus of agreements from the others. "Or flirting with you." His words now pointed at Cardo.

"I can definitely make my peace with the no flirting." She snorted, "but you can at least stop acting so frigid." She huffed, "anyway speaking of frigid people, we're done for today, I have a supreme council meeting to get to."

"Thank you, General." Ushar nodded, and the others all bid her farewell, but as she threw her cloak over her shoulders and made her way to the blast doors Cardo called after her.

"Say hi to Master Ren for us!" He teased, receiving a swift punch on the arm from Trudgen who was stood next to him.

Andal spun around and pointed at him, "Behave." Was all she could think to say before turning back to leave. The Knights of Ren were renowned warriors, but underneath it all they acted like a bunch of teenagers.

She was already running slightly late, and once she had hurried to the bridge and entered the conference room she was the last to arrive. Everyone's eyes followed her as she silently took her seat. Kylo usually would have bitten people's heads off for arriving late, but she obviously got special privileges.

"Nice of you to join us, General Andal." Pryde scoffed from his seat, and she rolled her eyes. She had been nothing but cordial towards him since they had reunited aboard the Finalizer. He, on the other hand, still seemed to harbour resent towards her. He knew that Palpatine had hated her, which gave him every excuse he needed to feel the same. Honestly, she wanted nothing more than to put her Lightsaber through his chest.

"Sorry Allegiant General, we can't all be as perfect as you." She sarcastically snorted, giving up on being polite at this point.

"Evidently not." He sneered, "I'm sure the Supreme Leader doesn't appreciate your lack of punctuality." His tone was so pointed that it was actually embarrassing. He was trying to grass her up to her own boyfriend... she was pretty sure she could call him that at this point.

"General Andal was training my Knights, a task I assigned her personally. If she's late, it's with good reason." Kylo said, looking completely indifferent about the matter. She had to hide the smug look that threatened to appear on her face. She simply looked at Pryde and gave a nonchalant shrug, to which he glared at her with daggers in his eyes.

He truly did hate her, it radiated off him in waves.

"If we're done wasting time, I'd like to get started." Kylo then said, everyone's attention quickly turning to him.

There was a darker energy than usual coming off him as he spoke, "The Resistance are pulling in lifelines from across the galaxy, and like a parasite they will _grow._ Effective immediately, I am making it punishable by death to have any contact with known members of the Resistance."

That certainly dropped a bomb on the room, and a series of mutters rose up.

Andal couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. A policy that brutal was practically unheard of, even under Palpatine's rule. Part of her had thought that perhaps he would have consulted her before implementing it - but when Kylo made rash decisions like this she knew he was acting off emotions, it was just a case of finding out what had caused this sudden crackdown. Unsurprisingly, she didn't have to wait long to find out.

"Opposition to the First Order is growing." He then pointed out, and that gave all her she needed to work it out. There had been many whispers going around high command about Supreme Leader Ren's defeat at the hands of legendary Jedi Luke Skywalker, and clearly they had shaken him. If that news was spreading around the galaxy, fear of the Supreme Leader would be dissipating along with it. This was Kylo's reflex reaction to cement his rule.

"Supreme Leader, do you not think this is... too brutal?" Hux was the one to speak up on behalf of everyone. Despite being head of the council, Pryde was not yet comfortable enough in his position to defy Kylo for fear of having it ripped from him.

"No." Kylo mumbled, turning away from the table to gaze out of the viewpoint that sat at the head of the room. He stared out into the vast mass of space as he addressed them, his hands firmly clasped behind his back.

"We can and will chase every rumour, every scrap, every vapour trail across the galaxy. We will mobilise every bounty hunter, and informant, and turn over every rock to find all of them... and wipe every one of them out of existence." He didn't raise his voice, but his tone exuded confidence and sheer power.

Stars, she was attracted to him right now... mass campaign of terror aside.

Nobody in the room dared to deny their leader, his speech was so authoritative that there was no contesting it.

"And how are we to enforce this policy?" Pryde asked, and it was a valid question.

"We will trace every transmission to its source. Worlds who declare themselves as neutral will be declared guilty of disloyalty to the First Order - they will submit, or be destroyed." He was confident in what he was saying.

Andal found herself genuinely concerned about the actions of the First Order for the first time since she had woken up. Watching the destruction of the New Republic had left a bad taste in her mouth, which she now suspected had been her Kenobi roots screaming at her. But this went deeper than any of that.

"I'll have the trooper divisions ready to dispatch at a moment's notice." Pryde informed, and Kylo turned back to approach the table once again. He nodded in response, but then turned to face her.

"Have the Knights ready too." He said.

"Of course, Supreme Leader." She nodded.

"You'll also need to be ready. We'll be leading some of these missions personally." He then added, and those words caused her stomach to drop involuntarily. The feeling of dread that came with knowing she was going to have to attack innocent worlds couldn't possibly be hidden from Kylo, and his expression showed it.

Nobody else questioned his words, after all they were the most powerful beings in the First Order, it made sense to use them in battle.

"Yes, Supreme Leader." Her mouth was dry, but she she managed to squeeze the words out. She had no idea where this feeling had suddenly come from - it had been a long time since she had felt the desire to do the 'right thing.'

Kylo was becoming more sure of himself as the days went by, which pulled him closer to the dark. Meanwhile, Andal had thought she was sure of herself, up until this moment. Now suddenly as Kylo was pulled to the dark, she was pushed to the light.

The balance of their dyad seemed to always require one of the leaning towards the light and the other towards the dark. It kept them both balanced, but she hadn't anticipated the tables turning - she was used to being the one who was rooted in the dark.

He opted not to say anything else to her, but she knew he would bring it up later. She didn't _want_ to feel the way she did, but there was no shaking it. Fighting the Resistance was one thing, this was a war after all, but she couldn't support this attack on innocents just to spark fear.

Her thoughts were extremely loud throughout the rest of the meeting, and she could tell they were distracting Kylo every now and then. She couldn't help it, her mind refused to switch off. Having spent years oblivious to her old identity, her morals were now at war with each other. Attacking innocents entailed nothing she hadn't done before for the Empire, but now she felt a huge amount of guilt about that. This would just add to the pile.

When the meeting adjourned, she immediately rose to her feet and left with the other officers. She could feel Kylo's gaze following her as she walked out.

_Where are you going?_

His voice echoed in her head, and she exhaled a short sigh.

_To train._

Technically she was supposed to be following a new lead on the Resistance, but she wasn't in the mood, and she didn't particularly care is Pryde wanted to reprimand her. She needed time to get her head straight, and the best way she knew how to do that was take her anger out on something.

Kylo said no more to her. Either he figured she needed some space, or he just didn't know what to say. Either way she couldn't blame him, she barely knew what to think herself. This was a foreign feeling to her.

She needed advice, but nobody could empathise with the situation she was in. Could she try and reach out to Anakin? She was sure he'd answer, but he definitely wouldn't tell her what she wanted to hear, he had the ulterior motive of wanting her to turn back to the light. She wasn't ready for that.

She needed somebody indifferent, who could offer an unbiased opinion, and perhaps who didn't know the gravity of what was weighing on her conscience-

"General Andal." A figure caught up with her, and fell into stride.

"Hux." She acknowledged him, still staring straight ahead as she walked. But then it hit her, he was just who she needed right now. "What can I do for you?"

"I think we should talk about Ren's new policy." He quietly told her.

"It's like you read my mind." She exhaled a dry laugh as they approached the training facility.

Hux followed her silently, but she could tell he was slightly uncomfortable in the environment she had chosen. But this was how she processed emotions, Hux was just filling the spot that Phasma once did.

They entered the private training room and she threw her cloak aside, moving to the weapons rack. She gazed at the various training Sabers in front of her, and she picked up the one she would normally use. But considering Hux was none the wiser, this was the perfect opportunity for her to strengthen her non-dominant hand and practise dual-wielding.

She turned and saw him sheepishly lingering by the entrance and she raised an eyebrow.

"Are you just planning on standing there?" She snorted, beginning to twirl her two weapons.

"Well... yes." He spoke as if that were obvious, and she actually laughed slightly as she shook her head.

"Suit yourself." She shrugged, using the Force to pull a durasteel training dummy towards the centre of the floor. One day she'd get him to actually train.

The dummy had multiple striking points which would allow her to drill both offensive and defensive manoeuvres. 

The moment she began swinging the two weapons, she could feel her stress dissipating.

"Do you agree that Ren should be consulting the council before making such rash decisions?" Hux cleared his throat, bringing her attention back to him.

"I do." She spoke through her swings, "But you have to understand that he acts on his emotions, and the stories going around about his defeat at Skywalker's hand isn't helping."

She trusted Hux by telling him this. Realistically she knew he wouldn't tell anybody for fear of it getting back to Kylo, or to her.

"So what do we do?" He moved to sit on the bench situated at the edge of the training floor, next to where she had thrown her cloak.

"We obey our Supreme Leader." She grimaced at her own words and spun around to deliver a powerful kick to the centre of the dummy. She then paused her actions to turn to Hux, breathing laboured, "I don't know what else to tell you, believe me I wish it could be different. I'm not excited to storm innocent worlds and force them to submit." She mumbled the last part, but he still heard her.

"Forgive me, but is that not exactly what you did with the Empire?" Hux pointed out. He knew why he was unhappy about the crackdown on the Resistance, it all stemmed from his hatred of Ren. This wasn't how he had envisioned the First Order conquering the galaxy, and therefore he didn't support it. But he didn't understand why she was so strongly against it.

"It was, but I was doing what I was led to believe was right at the time." She sighed, the feelings of guilt once again bubbling up, causing her to go back to striking the unwitting training dummy.

"And now?" He prompted. He obviously already knew that she had regained her memories, but he hadn't noticed any immediate changes in her character, at least until now. She had desperately tried to hide it from everyone around her, but Hux was a friend, and she sorely needed one of those right now. Even if she wasn't ready to admit it to herself.

"And now... I honestly don't know." She sighed, channeling everything into her swings. "It turns out I was only loyal to the Empire because I knew no better, and with the First Order? Well, there's not a lot keeping me here." She admitted.

It was the first time she had said it aloud, and it felt like a weight off her shoulders. Of course Kylo knew that he was the only reason she hadn't left already, but it wasn't something they would openly discuss. 

"So what is keeping you here?" Hux asked the inevitable question, and she didn't want to lie. But equally she still didn't want anybody knowing about her and Kylo.

"The Force." She bluntly responded. It was technically true, whilst her morals may have been disagreeing with the First Order, the Force was still only pointing her towards Ren.

Hux fell silent, watching her vent her emotions into her training. There was clearly a lot playing on her mind, and she recently seemed to be blaming it all on the Force.

"What about Crait?" He asked, and she paused her movements for a moment to look at him, confused.

"What about it?" She raised an eyebrow.

"You went with Ren to face Skywalker but you just stood there staring at... well, nothing." Clearly it had been playing on Hux's mind.

Andal found it interesting that suddenly as he became less invested in the First Order he started becoming more invested in what was going on around him. Before, Hux would never have given her apparent conversation with thin air any thought, but now he did.

"I saw-" she cut herself off, giving her brain time to form its words by swinging once again at the dummy. She didn't really know what to say, if she said Anakin's name it wouldn't take much digging for Hux to find out the truth, "-an old friend. He came to me through the Force, which is why you couldn't see him."

Her tone made it clear that she wasn't open to discuss the details of the conversation, and Hux wasn't going to dare try. He was just as emotionally inept as both her and Kylo were.

"So you can just... visit people, through the Force?" He spoke slowly, trying to calculate the science of it in his head.

"Not exactly." She chuckled, swinging one blade over her head for a high strike, whilst the other swung low. "He was a Force ghost." Her answers were short as she became more distracted by her training.

"So, you can talk to the dead?" Hux was just becoming more confused. He had never paid much mind to the Force, and this was why, he didn't like these things that were way beyond his parameters of understanding.

"Well, they're not really dead. When Jedi die in the physical, their souls can still live on through the Force." She explained it very absentmindedly.

"Jedi?" Hux asked and she realised that she really had shot herself in the foot.

With a powerful, stress-induced kick to the centre of the dummy, she sent it tumbling to the ground, which took some brute force. Even she was impressed by herself.

Andal then turned back to Hux, wiping her brow with her sleeve as she tossed the training Sabers aside. He looked like he couldn't be more disgusted by the hint of sweat.

"It's a skill that the Sith don't posses. Well, some of them do, but that's a whole other story. I didn't summon him, Skywalker did." Obi Wan had taught her so much about the Force, everything he had known in fact. Vader had then done the same, and now her knowledge of both Jedi and Sith was vast.

"I see." Thankfully Hux didn't dig any deeper, but he could read between the lines. It was obvious that this pointed towards her having some kind of affiliation with the Jedi.

Talking to Hux, although nothing had particularly come from it, had actually helped her feel better. She had to follow her own advice and follow the will of their Supreme Leader. The Force still wanted her to be here, so she had to push her own feelings aside, as difficult as it was.

She bid farewell to Hux, headed back to her quarters and straight into the refresher. She spent a while standing under the warm water, allowing it to wash the stress of her day off her skin. Once she stepped out of the shower, she wrapped a towel around her body and left the 'fresher. She intended to dress and go to the mess hall for food, but those plans were interrupted before they even began.

Kylo was lying on her bed, and when he heard the 'fresher door open he sat upright and she nearly jumped out of her skin.

" _Stars_ Kylo, what are you doing here?" She pushed her wet hair away from her face and moved over to her closet to pull some clothes out, opting for a pair of black sweats and a slightly cropped grey t-shirt. She knew it was late, which meant nobody would be around to judge her lazy outfit choice.

"I came to see you." He said it as though it were obvious, and realistically she didn't expect him to knock anymore.

She turned her back to him and dropped the towel to pull on her clothes. She could tell that Kylo's eyes didn't leave her the entire time.

"I was just about to go to the mess, did you want to come?" She asked, her back still turned as she tugged her shirt over her head.

"I thought we could eat in tonight." He said, and once she was dressed she turned around with a brow raised.

"Really?" She wondered what the occasion was. Of course she appreciated the sentiment, but her and Kylo never dined together. Usually they would find their way to one another's quarters after eating, far later into the night shift.

"Why? You don't want to?" He looked slightly taken aback, but she laughed and approached where he sat on the bed, running her hands through his black curls.

"No, I do want to - it was just a surprising suggestion." She reassured him, and he looked content with that answer.

He reached out and used the Force to levitate her data-pad from her bedside table to his hand. He silently ordered them food, and she knew that he was going to order far more than necessary, Ren didn't do anything by halves.

They weren't going to talk about her hesitation when it came to his new campaign of terror against the Resistance. He could sense that she had spent time coming to terms with it herself, and he didn't know what to add to that. Part of him was afraid that if he dug into it it would push her away, so his solution was to ignore it.

The Force brought them together, and it was keeping them together. But their relationship largely functioned outside of the First Order. When they were together they would rarely talk business, and Kylo separated himself from being the Supreme Leader.

For all it was worth, being with Kylo gave her that escape she needed. Perhaps it was their connection, but she felt at peace around him. All the guilt that weighed on her disappeared, and she know her company had the same effect on him.

Kylo's Resistance crackdown was a problem for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay the next chapter after this is the longest one I have written in this whole fic and I LOVE IT & cannot wait for y'all to read it
> 
> Drama? Check  
> Romance? Check  
> Tropes? CHECK


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After weeks of Kylo's new vicious regime, people are beginning to notice a change in Darth Andal. Eventually she calls for help and ends up talking to the one person she was hoping to avoid.
> 
> When Allegiant General Pryde later attempts to reprimand her for insubordination, she is forced to finally start fulfilling her duties properly, which leads her to a diplomat's dinner on Coruscant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: mentions of violence & death.

"Submit to the First Order or you, and your planet, will be destroyed. The choice is simple." Her red Saber hummed, casting a shadow over the quivering face kneeling before her.

Behind her she was flanked by the Knights of Ren, all looking menacing, their armour dirtied from battle. Andal's own face was stained with dirt and blood - the residents of the small settlement on this outer rim planet had put up a hell of a fight, but the Supreme Leader had declared them guilty of treason against the First Order for harbouring a Resistance fugitive.

"We will never submit." The village elder who knelt before her spat. He was human, the nominated leader of the people. It was only a tiny world, but it didn't make her feel any less sick to be here, and her heart sank when he refused to surrender. He was sentencing his entire world to death. She hadn't allowed Pryde to tell her the name of the planet, it was one way of trying to disassociate herself from her actions.

"Very well." She said, her tone low. Anyone would look at her and see the menacing apprentice of Darth Vader, hardened from all emotion and willing to kill whoever stands in her way. In reality, she was just numb. There was no catharsis in what she was doing, she had to completely disassociate from herself to force her body to move.

In a flash her blade pierced the man's chest, and he cried out in pain as the life left his eyes. 

It was just another body on her conscience.

"Comm the Allegiant General, tell him to open fire." She was unable to tear her gaze away from the corpse on the ground as she addressed the Knights.

"Yes General." Ushar responded.

"Shall we prepare the ship?" Vicrul then quietly asked.

She hated that the Knights were becoming good at sensing her mood, she was already struggling enough to hide her emotions from Kylo - despite his constant worry.

"Yes, we're done here." She mumbled, turning and walking back to the ship. Her cloak billowed behind her, and everyone silently watched her depart.

The Knights were worried about overstepping boundaries, so they left her sat in silence on the lower decks as they flew back to the Finalizer. But they had noticed it, there was no way they couldn't.

With every mission Darth Andal was become more and more stiff and clearly uncomfortable. She hid it exceptionally well, but the Knights had spent more time around her than anyone else recently.

"Do we tell Master Ren?" Cardo finally asked the question on all of their lips. They were huddled in the cockpit having a hushed conversation amongst themselves.

"Would he blame us?" Ap'lek asked, and it was a genuine concern for all of them. They couldn't predict Kylo's reaction.

"But maybe he can help her." Ushar sighed, "We need to tell him." The Knights cared about their General, in the same way they cared about their Master, and each other.

They opened to comm link to Kylo, and he answered immediately.

"What's the problem?" His voice was monotone, but they knew he answered so quickly for fear that something had gone wrong - he immediately thought something may have happened to Andal.

"Everything's fine, Master Ren, we're approaching the Finalizer now. But we needed to talk to you about General Andal." Always the spokesperson, Ushar took the lead on behalf of his brothers.

"Is she okay?" There was now a hint of panic laced through his tone, unrecognisable to anyone else, but the Knights knew him better than most.

"We're just worried about her, Master. She's not been acting herself, every mission she's becoming more disconnected." Silence followed this statement, but they knew he was still listening.

Eventually Ren cut the comm out without a word, but the Knights had done their bit now.

"Well, that could have gone a lot worse." Cardo snorted.

When the ship landed, Andal knew she was supposed to go the bridge and oversee the destruction of the planet they had just departed from, but she couldn't bring herself to partake in anymore destruction today. She knew Pryde would be furious at her for neglecting her duties yet again, but at this point it was just another reason for him to hate her added to an endless list.

Little did she know that Kylo was waiting on the bridge for her to pull her aside, but she was making a beeline for the training facility. She needed to hit something or she was going to bubble over.

When she entered the private training room she didn't even wrap her knuckles, she just dropped her cloak and began forcefully throwing her fists into the punching bag which hung in the corner of the room.

Y/N Kenobi was becoming a bigger weakness for her with every mission.

She threw harder punches the deeper her thoughts went.

There was no way she could keep going on like this. It had been weeks since the Resistance crackdown, and at first it had been easy to go with Kylo, or the Knights and conquer a world. Anyone she killed she would process with her fists in the training room afterwards. But now that wasn't enough, now everything was grating on her, and no matter what she couldn't make it go away.

Her punches became weaker as emotions overran her, and eventually she just clutched the bag with her bloodied hands and rested her forehead upon it.

"Anakin, I need you." She whispered, shakily. She squeezed her eyes shut and reached out into the light, where she knew Anakin was listening. Andal wished she could expel Y/N Kenobi the same way Kylo had expelled Ben Solo, but it wasn't that straightforward with her.

"Chin up, young one." A voice softly addressed her from behind. It wasn't Anakin, but she didn't need to turn around, she knew exactly who it was, and she couldn't bring herself to face him.

"Why are you here?" She whispered, slowly removing her face from where it was hidden in the punching bag. Maker, she wanted nothing more to turn and run into his arms - but that wasn't her, that was who she used to be.

"Because you need me, and I left you once. I won't do it again." His voice was as she remembered it when she was growing up, he sounded younger than he had when she last saw him.

She knew she had to face him. Slowly, she turned around. He did look younger, that much she had been right about. He was cast in the same pale blue light that Anakin had been, but he was still Obi Wan, still Ben... still her father.

Tears involuntarily pricked at her eyes, and suddenly she wasn't Darth Andal anymore, she was the young girl living in exile on Tatooine with her father. They had both lost everything, everything except each other.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, her head dropping. Why was she sorry? The list was never-ending in her mind.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He approached her, and his hand gently tilted her chin up, and that caught her attention. He was tangible... the Force really was full of mysteries.

"Don't I? I failed you, you raised me to be a Jedi." She pointed out, the few tears which had escaped her eyes drying on her cheeks.

"No, I raised you to be survivor, and my dear Y/N I could not be more proud of you." His words were sincere, and she knew that her father never lied to her. "You're a true Kenobi."

His last words struck her the most. It was the first time she had heard her name and not wanted to immediately contest it, this felt real, and familiar.

"I feel so lost. I've been trusting in the Force, like Anakin told me to, but if this is where I'm supposed to be why does it feel so _wrong?"_ Obi Wan was the most levelheaded person she had ever known - although she was slightly biased, but throughout her life he had never steered her wrong. After Satine's death, he had been thrown into fatherhood, and he had stepped up.

"This may come as a surprise to you, but Anakin isn't always right. In fact, rarely so." The lightheartedness to his tone filled her with warmth, and a small laugh even escaped her lips. "It's not always about following the will of the Force, you just need to do what you think is _right._ " He urged her, and his words resonated with her.

"I don't know what's right, not anymore." She slowly shook her head, and Obi Wan gave her a sad smile.

"Yes you do. If you didn't know, we wouldn't be talking right now. My dear, there is a difference between what makes you happy, and what you think is right." Obi Wan's hand attempted to rest on her shoulder, but it passed through her body just as a ghost would, and he gave a sad sigh. They didn't have long.

After weeks, months even, of working herself into knots over her morals and emotions, Obi Wan had just untangled her with that one sentence.

Kylo Ren made her happy, undoubtedly. But his heavy-handed rule of the First Order? Stars, even everything the First Order stood for? It was everything she stood against.

"So I need to choose between my happiness and my morals?" She asked.

"It's not an easy choice." He admitted, "but it's unfortunately one that many of us have had to make. I chose to leave your mother to fulfil my duty as a Jedi."

"And if you could go back and change it, would you?" She asked, trying to gain some perspective on her own dilemma.

"I can't tell you that." He said, and she furrowed her brow.

"Why not?"

"Because your decisions must be your own, not echos of mine." He was wise, and she was more grateful than ever that she had grown up with him.

_Where are you, we need to talk._

Kylo's voice echoed in her head, and her heart dropped. She looked at Obi Wan, knowing their time was about to be cut short.

He simply nodded at her, "I know, you must go." He looked at her, his only daughter, and pride visibly showed on his face. "Whatever decision you make, you will have my full support."

"I miss you." Was the final thing she said. They had so much more to talk about, she wanted to ask him about this 'destiny' that the Force had planned for her, but Kylo's presence was drawing closer to her. He knew where on the ship to search.

"I'm always here, young one. Although, you're not so young anymore." He laughed slightly, "We will see each other again, of that I can assure you."

She nodded, her heart hurting to have to watch him disappear again. But she believed him, come high or hell water she was determined to see him again. Obi Wan stepped back, and slowly faded away.

Andal finally felt like she had her answer to what she had been struggling with for so long now. She had to talk to Kylo, and then decide whether to pursue her happiness, or her morals.

"Thank you, Father." She whispered under her breath, and she knew that he heard her.

Having waited on the bridge, been to her quarters, and the mess hall, Kylo knew that the training room was the only other place she might be. She felt him approaching, and in preparation she went back to punching the bag that hung in front of her.

When the blast doors flew open she didn't turn to face him, "Look, I know what you're going to say Ky-"

_Turn around._

His voice interrupted her, and she was confused.

"What?" She spun around, and her face dropped when she saw the Allegiant General stood beside Kylo.

"Oh Supreme Leader, I'm sorry I uh- was expecting someone else." She quickly backtracked, grimacing.

"Allegiant General Pryde has brought it to my attention that perhaps you aren't fulfilling your duties effectively." Kylo cleared his throat, he was clearly as uncomfortable as she was.

_Are you kriffing kidding me?_

"There's no 'perhaps' about it, she is openly disobeying my orders!" Pryde chimed in, and she shot him daggers with her eyes. He had just been waiting for this moment to call her out.

_I had no choice, I can't give you special privileges._

She hated that he was right, but now Pryde had put them both in an awkward position.

"Supreme Leader, if I could discuss this matter with you alone-" she suggested, but Pryde sneered in response.

"You answer directly to me, and _I_ then report to the Supreme Leader." Suddenly she regretted passing up the Allegiant General position when Kylo had offered it to her.

"Enough." Kylo barked, raising his hand. "You have raised your concerns to me, Allegiant General, and now I will deal with them."

"Very well Supreme Leader." Pryde reluctantly nodded, and Andal breathed a sigh of relief. "But, General Andal, you _will_ attend the dinner tomorrow evening, otherwise there will be serious consequences." He warned her, and her brow furrowed.

"Of course, Allegiant General." She said, through gritted teeth and content with that answer, Pryde turned and left.

"What dinner?" She then snorted once the doors shut. She certainly wasn't planning on attending.

"The diplomat's dinner on Coruscant, it's tomorrow evening." Kylo sighed, "It's been on your schedule for weeks."

"Coruscant?" She said, quietly. "I'm not going." She then concluded. Kylo didn't need to ask why, he knew.

The planet held a lot of bad memories for her, she hadn't been there since Order 66 had been declared. Plus, she had a lot to work out in her own mind. Obi Wan had made things clearer for her, but he had told her she had to make her own decisions.

"You have to go." He sighed, walking towards her to take her hands, when he noticed her bloodied knuckles. "But first, med-bay."

"I don't need the med-bay." She gently took her hands away to hide them, "and you're the Supreme Leader, you can excuse me from it."

"I can't do that, Pryde has already asked me to demote you." He sounded conflicted, probably because he also didn't want to attend.

"Kriff, I want to kill him." She rolled her eyes.

"He's just doing his job. But he does have a personal dislike of you." He then fell quiet, and she could sense what was coming.

"I know I've been acting off recently." She spoke before he could, "But I've... gained some perspective, and I just need some time to work things out." That was all she wanted to say for now. Kylo had felt her rollercoaster of emotions, from the guilt and rage of having to kill more innocents, to the despair of seeing her father. Now she felt more balanced - whether that was just because he was there, she wasn't sure.

"I've been concerned." He said, and she nodded.

"I know." She whispered, gingerly raising her hand to rest on his cheek, ignoring the sting from her knuckles. "But I'm okay. I wasn't, but I think I am now."

Kylo noticed the difference in her everyday. During meetings and missions she would be so distant, and he could barely get a read on her emotions, he just knew that she felt lost. But when they were alone together she seemed so much more content, and _happy._ He didn't understand it.

"Okay." He accepted it for now, respecting that she needed to work things out herself before sharing them with him.

"So this diplomat's dinner..." She changed the subject, "you're sure I have to attend?" She snorted, pulling her cloak back over her shoulders.

"Positive." He smirked slightly, "the tailor is expecting you."

"The tailor?" She furrowed her brow.

"Clothes." He simply responded, but he couldn't quite believe how confused she looked, "did you never attend diplomatic events with the Empire?"

"No. I mean, we had meetings and stuff, but I haven't needed to attend proper events since I lived on Mandalore." She shrugged. Vader somehow always managed to get them both excluded from them.

"Come with me." Kylo exhaled a short laugh, although really he was a bit jealous. If he could have gotten out of the diplomatic events all of these years he would have done.

They moved towards the blast doors, but just before they got there he stopped, "I told Pryde I would reprimand you for disobedience."

"If he asks I'll just say you threw me into the wall and we can be done with it." She rolled her eyes, and he seemed content with that answer as they left the room.

The second they were in the public eye, they separated and walked apart. Nobody would think they even liked each other, let alone anything deeper than that.

They arrived in an area of the ship she had never visited, inside one of the rooms there was a tailoring droid. She hadn't seen one in years, as a child her mother had preferred real tailors, but the Empire had always used droids, even if she rarely visited them unless she needed a new training outfit.

The room itself was small, there was plenty of storage, undoubtedly filled with fabrics. There was a full-length mirror in the corner beside a small changing area.

"Supreme Leader - what can I do for you?" The droid had a humanoid look to it. It rolled over to them, ready to serve.

"The General needs a dress for tomorrow evening." Ren nodded towards her, and she grimaced. 

"I'm not wearing a dress." She snorted, "No way."

"The diplomat's dinner; I'm sure I can squeeze in one more outfit. If you allow me some time to consult with the General, I'm certain that we can devise a solution." The synthetic voice bustled around as the droid moved to produce a data-pad to hand to her. "There are many alternatives to dresses which fit this particular dress code."

She took the data-pad and began to swipe through the options. They were simple silhouettes of outfits, no colour or texture, just the outlines. None of them were initially appealing to her, but her attention was pulled away by Kylo.

"I have a meeting to attend to, I'm sure you can manage this yourself." He nudged her, and she nodded.

"I'll cope." She teased him, and he left swiftly after.

Now alone with the droid, she went back to scrolling, and came across a silhouette that looked more like her. Less extravagant and flamboyant. Also, it looked like she could still kick ass wearing it. It was a simple, but elegant and formal jumpsuit - sleeveless, with a plunging neckline.

"I like this one." She told the droid, who examined what she had settled on.

"Excellent choice, General. Now, this outfit is best suited in softer colours such as-"

"No colours or anything, just make it in black." She waved her hand, dismissively.

The droid paused for a moment, processing. "I think I have just the design that would suit you, General."

Although she was skeptical, she opted to give the droid creative control over her outfit. It seemed to be convinced that it knew she would like what it produced.

After talking to Obi Wan, she still needed to figure out what direction she wanted to take - whether she should stay with Kylo and follow the will of the Force as well as her own happiness, or leave the First Order and go... well, she had nowhere to go, but Kylo's vicious regime wasn't right, and that much she did know.

><><><><><><<><><><

Despite her initial apprehension, the tailoring droid really did have the formula right, and the garment that had been delivered to her quarters was impeccable. It was quintessentially her.

As much as she wanted to say that an evening surrounded by diplomats and allies of the First Order was completely out of her comfort zone, she would be lying. Since birth she had attended all sorts of events on Mandalore - this was in her blood. Although given the choice she still wouldn't go.

In spite of her protests, Kylo had sent a cosmetic droid to her quarters to style her hair and makeup. She had insisted that the droid keep everything subtle, she didn't see the need for such extravagance in her appearance. Nevertheless, the droid worked its magic. She still looked natural, just enhanced with the makeup. Half of her hair was down and loosely curled, whilst the top half was styled at the back of her head in a braided bun.

The base of her outfit was the same jumpsuit she had asked for, in black. But the tailoring droid had added a sheer stretch of fabric around her waist, leaving a gap in the middle. It was a simple but effective solution to dress up the outfit a bit more. The fabric around her waist was stoned with various black embellishments that became sparse further towards the ground.

As she walked towards the hanger the waist-cape, as she was now calling it, flowed behind her. She was resenting having to walk in heels, thank the Force she had good balance. It was cold aboard the base without her cloak, but she knew Coruscant would be a warmer climate.

Only the Supreme Leader and his council were attending the dinner, and when she arrived they were all filing on board their transport.

All eyes fell on her as she approached. Whilst they were all dressed in their formal attire, her transformation was truly something, but she ignored them all as she walked onboard, her mind was elsewhere.

The transport was a luxurious form of travel, no military capabilities. The interior was plush and there was even a bar, fit for entertaining.

She had given it a lot of thought, and realised that if she could convince Kylo to ease his heavy-handed rule of the First Order then perhaps her conscience would allow her to stay. If he refused, well she didn't allow herself to think about what that would mean.

"General Andal, I see you decided to actually start fulfilling your duties rather than continue to be insubordinate." Pryde mocked her, approaching from behind.

"Well Allegiant General, let's just say the Supreme Leader made a very convincing case." She was on her best behaviour, having promised Ren that she would play nice to make his life easier.

"I see after all these years that your time serving the Emperor still reminds you to respect those more powerful than you." He was clearly trying to invoke a reaction from her by referencing Palpatine, but she bit her tongue. He was lucky she was explicitly told she wasn't allowed to bring weapons with her, otherwise she just may have stabbed him by now.

"Always, Allegiant General." She spoke through gritted teeth and a forced smile, thankfully they were interrupted by their almighty leader walking onboard and Pryde rushed over to kiss ass.

Everyone stood silently when Kylo walked aboard out of respect, but he was quick to dismiss them all to return to their conversations. His gaze lingered on Andal for perhaps a bit too long, but she could feel it through the Force, his heart was racing and it caused an involuntary smile to cross her lips.

With everyone present, the transport took off. The journey wouldn't be long as the Finalizer was in Coruscant's airspace. She was quick to turn away before anyone noticed how she was looking at Kylo. He looked smart in his formal robes, a tailored black jacket replaced his usual tunic. It was embellished around the shoulders, not dissimilar to the beading on her waist-cape.

For the majority of the journey she kept herself to herself, not that anybody wanted to approach her considering the sour look she had on her face, which was mostly aimed at Pryde.

"You look excited." A voice snapped her out of her thoughts, of course Hux was the one person who would brave talking to her.

"Is it that obvious?" She snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Painfully so." He then responded, moving to stand beside her. He had a glass of liquor in his hand, perhaps she should be following his example and indulging in a drink.

The pair of them exchanged small talk for the remainder of the journey, Kylo was careful to keep his distance - they wanted everyone to assume that they still wanted each other dead. Hux was good enough company, and he was definitely the best out of a bad bunch. He even alluded to not enjoying the company of other council members himself, although Andal knew that he was just bitter towards them all for usurping his position as General.

She could sense conflict rising in Hux, similar to her own. He didn't seem to be half as loyal to the First Order as he once had been. Well, he was still loyal, just not to Kylo's vision of the Order.

Andal didn't have a chance to even see the surface of Coruscant before they landed. They touched down in a hanger and were hustled off the ship and towards a large ballroom from there, she had no clue where they were. She only knew that they were on the upper levels.

It wasn't until they were seated for their meal that she recognised the building they were in. They were in the Galaxies Opera House, although it had clearly been repurposed to act as a function hall rather than a performance hall.

She had never been there herself as a youngling, but she had been able to see the building from the Jedi Temple.

The meal flew by. She had inadvertently sat in a position which didn't allow many people the chance to converse with her, and that much she was grateful for. Despite almost an entire cycle passing since she had woken up, this was her first public event were she was forced to be seen by numerous allies of the Empire. There were many whispers and glances from those who recognised her as Vader's apprentice, once upon a time her face had been rather widely recognised across the galaxy.

She didn't intend to address any of them, she would just end up answering the same questions over and over again.

Once the meal adjourned, guests began mingling together and chatting over drinks. The aim for the council was to cement Kylo's leadership amongst allies and urge them to put their faith in him as they had Snoke.

Andal quickly spotted a door which led out to a balcony, and it seemed to be the only place that was going to give her some privacy. She had no interest in mixing with any of these people, she didn't feel morally sound endorsing and promoting Kylo's Resistance crackdown.

The fresh air hit her, and she took a moment to simply inhale it and appreciate it. It beat artificial air.

The landscape of Coruscant's upper levels had barely changed, she felt as though she was looking back in time. Ships and speeders were buzzing around, and in the distance she could see the familiar spires of the Jedi Temple... well, what was once the Jedi Temple. Palpatine had ransacked it for Sith holocrons, but now it stood abandoned. It had only been her home for a mere few months, but what stood out to her was the pain and tragedy that came when Palpatine had ordered the slaughtering of the Jedi.

She had been separated from the other younglings in her clan, and now looking back she wondered if that had been the will of the Force. Anakin had slaughtered them all. She remembered the screams and cries of pain, whilst she hid herself from danger. It had been a cowardly move, although her father wouldn't agree. When Obi Wan had found her he hadn't let her go, he had just discovered Anakin's betrayal, and he could barely stomach the thought of losing his only daughter. He had given up on caring about the code and what Master Yoda would think, she had been his only priority.

In the face of destruction, they had both survived.

"Hey." Kylo's voice interrupted her thoughts, and when she turned around to face him her eyes were watering, but she was quick to blink away any tears before they could fall. She didn't realise how raw those memories were still.

The door remained open behind him, but it didn't look as though anybody was nearby, they were all far away and invested in their own conversations. "Are you okay?" He asked the standard question, but what made him uncomfortable was that he knew why she was suffering. He only understood it from the other perspective, he had been in Anakin's shoes in the scenario when Luke's new Jedi Order had been destroyed.

"I'm okay." She assured him, "There's just... a lot of memories here. I never thought about it until now." Shaking her head to expel the thoughts from her mind Andal focused all of her attention on Kylo. "Are you enjoying yourself?" There was a teasing essence to her tone considering she already knew the answer.

"Not at all." He snorted. It was a relief for her to have some time alone with him.

"If it's any consolation, from what I've heard you're coming out of this well." She shrugged. She had of course been listening into many conversations throughout the evening, and allies of the First Order were thus far impressed with their new leader.

Kylo simply responded with a small hum, his hand subtly moving to sit on the small of her back. He didn't say it aloud, but he was thinking it loudly.

_You look incredible._

"So do you." She said with a soft smile, and he looked surprised that she'd heard him, although he really should have been used to it by now.

"What's on your mind?" He then asked, pulling her slightly closer towards him.

"I spoke to Obi Wan." She quietly admitted, and Kylo was visibly taken aback.

"When?" He knew it couldn't have been that evening, he surely would have sensed it.

"Yesterday." She said, and from there he could piece it together easily. He had felt her energy through the Force when she got back from her mission, and it had been all over the place.

"You said you needed time to work things out." He reminded her, "What did he say to you?" He had obviously never met Obi Wan, but he had heard plenty of stories. Some from Leia, but mostly from Luke - he had consistently mentioned him in their Jedi training. He knew that Obi Wan had been a righteous man, and Kylo didn't doubt that he brought his daughter up to be the same. His immediate worry now was that Obi Wan would turn her against him.

"He told me that at some point I'll have to choose between what makes me happy, and what I think is right." She met his eyes, searching for something within him. An answer perhaps? Was he worth sacrificing her morals for?

"And what makes you happy?" He asked, and it felt as if the world around them was coming to a standstill. He knew the answer, but he needed to hear her say it - this time they had to express themselves through their words.

"You." She spoke quietly, not much above a whisper, "Only you." And she was telling the truth, no matter how much it pained her to carry out such heinous acts, it all seemed to disappear when her and Kylo were alone together, and she wasn't sure if she was brave enough to give that up.

"Then stay... please" His response was hoarse, his voice almost breaking towards the end of his words. But he knew that she was thinking about leaving before she had even allowed the thought to enter her own mind. Andal hadn't allowed herself to consider it, because part of her knew it was the logical option.

But she liked the illogical option: staying with Kylo and ignoring her problems.

When she fell silent, his arm tightened around her waist and he pressed their lips together in a slow, gentle kiss.

Perhaps it was the dyad, perhaps it was the fact that she had nobody else, but that kiss grounded her. She wanted nothing more than to stay with him.

When their lips parted, foreheads remaining pressed together, she said, "I'll stay. But I can't keep killing Kylo, I just can't. There's more Kenobi in me than I thought."

"We'll work something out." He assured her, just relieved to hear her say that she would stay. He leaned in to kiss her again to relish in the moment, the picturesque city landscape that they were stood overlooking creating the perfect romantic backdrop.

They were so enamoured with one another, distracted by the stolen kisses and emotional moment they were sharing, that they didn't notice the presence behind them.

The Allegiant General stood in the open doorway which led to the balcony. He had seen enough, and heard more than enough.

"A Kenobi..." Pryde repeated back to himself, under his breath, as he turned away to rejoin the the festivities.

In his eyes, this would finally be the downfall of Vader's disgraced apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you want to see a pic of the outfit I attempted to describe but probs failed at, the link is here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Ed3lMl0d2K1UU5Sd1mppWfukszK02ucZ/view?usp=sharing
> 
> I just think it helps to have a visual cue sometimes (also someone let me know if the link doesn't work).
> 
> Anyway I loved writing this chapter and it's my favourite so far! Hope you all enjoyed it too!


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Pryde now aware of Darth Andal's heritage and relationship with Kylo Ren, things were only ever going to end one way.
> 
> In a disaster.

The morning following the diplomat's dinner, she awoke in Kylo's quarters. The bed seemed familiar to her now, and she was half tempted to roll over and go back to sleep.

"You have a meeting-" The figure beside her grumbled, obviously having heard her thoughts. He was laying on his chest, eyes still shut as he spoke.

There hadn't been much talking when they arrived back the night prior, there certainly hadn't been a good opportunity to discuss what they were going to do to keep Andal away from killing innocents and forcing them to submit.

"You're the Supreme Leader, why can't I skip it?" She groggily responded, moving to lay on her side and face him, their faces only inches apart.

"Because the Supreme Leader says you have to attend." He mumbled back, reluctantly opening his eyes. It took his brown irises a moment to adjust to the light, but when he laid eyes on her he reached his hand out to gently run it through her hair.

"You make a fair point, although I still don't agree." She teased him, closing the gap to press a short kiss to his lips before tossing her legs over the side of the bed to sit up. The Supreme Council meeting meant that Kylo was training the Knights instead of her that morning.

Their clothes had been thrown all over the floor the night before, she had later slept in one of Kylo's undershirts, which had become a regular occurrence. Although this morning things wouldn't be as simple as get dressed and sneak out...

"Uh, Kylo." At her summoning he pulled himself up from the bed and leaned over to wrap his arms around her from behind.

He hummed in acknowledgement, prompting her to talk.

"I need clothes." She awkwardly pointed out. It was plainly obvious that she couldn't go walking into a council meeting wearing her outfit from the dinner, and she wasn't keen on trying to sneak back to her own quarters wearing it. If someone saw her it really would look like she was returning from a one night stand.

"You have clothes." He really missed the point, in his true nature.

"Yes, in my quarters. You can go and get them for me." She turned and gave him a sickeningly sweet smile, and he could see right through it.

"You don't give me orders." He snorted, but regardless he pulled himself to his feet and began to dress himself. She just laid back on the bed and watched him with a smirk on her lips.

"Just my regular clothes will do." She continued her teasing.

"That's nice, but you still don't give me orders." He grumbled, walking towards the blast doors once he was dressed.

"Don't forget shoes!" She called after him, knowing that he was complaining just for the sake of it. He could be the Supreme Leader all he wanted, but it didn't mean shit in their relationship.

She took the time alone to go to the 'fresher to wash her face and brush her teeth. She exited just in time for Kylo to appear holding a bunch of clothes, and she looked incredibly smug about it.

"I 'don't give you orders' my ass." She snorted, taking them from him to quickly get dressed.

He had brought her usual outfit, the high waisted trousers and accompanying top, along with her belt and cloak. Thankfully he had remembered her boots.

"There's nobody out there." He commented once she was dressed.

"Perfect." She replied, lacing up her boots before standing and throwing her cloak around her shoulders.

They left the bedroom, their formal robes remaining scattered across the room. But before they could leave Kylo's quarters he blocked her in the doorway.

"What?" She asked, and he wordlessly handed her Vader's Saber hilt.

"Never leave home without it." He teased her, and she grinned, clipping it to her belt. Her hilt had been in her quarter's, beside Obi Wan's. She wasn't surprised, but Kylo had clearly made the conscience decision to pick Vader's up.

Thankfully the corridor was still empty when they left, and they eventually parted so Andal could go to the bridge and Kylo to the training facility.

_At least I'm on time today._

She silently commented to him.

_The Allegiant General will be thrilled._

Andal walked into the conference room and took her seat, a number of people were already there. A few other council members trailed in after she did - probably nursing hangovers from the night before.

Hux was sat opposite her, and he looked strangely uncomfortable. He couldn't meet her eyes, and that threw her off. Everyone else in the room seemed to be acting naturally, all except Pryde, who was staring at her with a cunningly smug look on his face.

Andal looked at him with a furrowed brow, something was definitely afoot. Pryde was sat in Kylo's usual seat at the head of the table. He loved sitting in that chair when the Supreme Leader wasn't around.

"Let's begin-" He addressed the room, and rose from his seat, "I was hoping to discuss the upcoming mission to Kashyyyk."

Andal was skeptical, something was very off with Pryde's energy.

He began pacing around the room as he spoke, painfully slowly, as if he were taunting everyone.

"Kashyyyk is in open rebellion. The wookies are rising up against our troopers, and they need to be set straight. I was going to recommend General Andal to lead the assault." He looked directly at her then, and her mouth went dry.

Perhaps having sex rather than discussing how to phase her out of battle was not her and Kylo's wisest idea. But the real question was: why would Pryde be personally requesting that she goes? Perhaps it was a mission doomed for failure and he was hoping she'd leave and never return.

"I have other duties to attend to. A minor uprising isn't my responsibility." She shrugged it off, trying not to assume the worst in this situation.

"You do seem to have an ongoing problem with following orders, old habits must die hard." He was purposely taunting her now, and she was telling herself not to rise to it. But despite whatever light was now in her, there was still darkness there - she could feel the rage bubbling.

"Don't assume to know a thing about me, Pryde. The Empire was a lifetime ago, and I have no trouble following orders, I just chose to follow the orders of those I respect." It was a subtle dig, but one that would not go amiss. Her tone remained perfectly level.

Everyone in the room remained silent at the tension between them. If Kylo had been there, Pryde wouldn't have dared to speak up in the first place.

"I won't mince my words, General. You were apprentice to Lord Vader, and now you are a _traitor_ to the Empire, and the First Order." He wasn't lying about one thing, but the traitor part? That had her at a loss. She truly couldn't work out his angle.

"I would think carefully before you speak again." Andal slowly rose to her feet. Her tone was low, and threatening, she was liked a cornered animal. She was nervous about the path Pryde was heading down, she wouldn't call herself a traitor, but she wasn't fully loyal to the Order anymore.

"Why? Are you afraid of your true heritage?" His words had caught her off guard, _how_ could he possibly know?

He could see her change in demeanour, and the one expression she noticed was Hux's. He looked utterly confused, whatever had him avoiding her gaze before couldn't have been this.

"I'm proud of it." She stated, and where that statement may not have been true a few weeks ago, it was now, "but it is nobody's business except my own." Her tone remained as level as it possibly could.

"Do you not think the Supreme Leader would want to know the background of his trusted advisors?" His tone feigned innocence, but he knew exactly what he was doing. However he had found out, he clearly knew that she was Kenobi, and knew the implications of that family name. But his wording caught Andal, it put her in a corner.

"He already knows." She reluctantly said. She wanted nothing more than to snap Pryde's neck on the spot, but that would just raise even more suspicion. A few faces in the room looked shocked at that, some even looked on the verge of anger. Pryde had them all ready to fight his corner.

"As members of the Supreme Council, do you not think we all have a right to know the truth about those we work with?" Pryde then challenged her, and he sounded so sure of himself, his tone not wavering for a second. Clearly he was gaining confidence, enough confidence to face up to a Force-user.

"I agree with the Allegiant General. We're all able to read files about each other containing every detail of our lives with a mere swipe on our datapads, but your file is scarce, and what isn't redacted simply tells us nothing about you, other than the fact that you were Vader's apprentice." Of course is was General Quinn who spoke up, he had been very vocal in the past about her role in the Empire.

From there it was a simple domino effect. Mutters of agreement rose up from everyone around the table... almost everyone. 

_Pryde knows. He knows that I'm a Kenobi._

She was desperate, and didn't know what to do other than turn to Kylo. He was busy training the Knights, but she knew that this would shock him as much as it did her. This was the kind of uprising she had never anticipated. He didn't respond, but she knew that he heard.

"As I've come to understand it, General Andal had no memories of her past until recently. Should she not be allowed her own privacy to adjust to such significant news?" Surprisingly, Hux's voice was the one which cut through the room.

"Do you know the truth Hux, do you know who she is?" Griss chimed in, speaking as if she were no longer in the room.

She suddenly felt so isolated; she had never been more grateful for Hux. He was currently her only ally, but she couldn't count on his assistance when the truth finally came out. It could easily turn him against her.

"No, I never needed to know. General Andal is a talented diplomat, and skilled warrior, those are the only qualities that are relevant." Hux really was standing up for her, and in that moment she thought that even Kylo couldn't bring himself to hate the man.

Andal mouthed a silent 'thank you' at him, but Pryde didn't care for this sentiment.

"Did you ever wonder where those skills come from?" A menacing smile was plastered on his lips, "She takes after her father."

"That's _enough!"_ Andal hissed, rage burning in his eyes. She hadn't snapped like this in a long time, and she knew that her own emotions would be fuelling Kylo's rage too. When one of them lost balance, they both did.

Pryde decided to speak up again, despite the pure fury that was radiating from her. She was suspicious that this entire exchange was going in exactly the direction that the Allegiant General wanted. "This council deserves to know the truth. The truth that there is a Jedi amongst us."

Gasps rung throughout the room, but they were white noise to Andal now. As Pryde had been circling the table, he had made the mistake of stopping within a mere meter of where she stood.

In one swift movement, her Saber was activated and she threw Pryde against the wall, her blade at his throat. She wouldn't hesitate to kill him in that moment. The dark side flooded her veins, and it was a fire she hadn't felt for so long.

"Don't presume to know anything of the Force." She growled, "if I slice your throat, that wouldn't be very Jedi of me, would it." This time it was her turn to taunt, but it had little to no effect.

"I don't think that's something your father would approve of." Still with a vicious smirk on his face, Pryde continued to retaliate.

"Then it's a good job he's not here." She sneered back at him.

"You won't kill me." He let out a deep laugh, "What would our Supreme Leader think of you if you did?"

She was immediately taken aback by that, her stance even faltering for a moment. The Kenobi dilemma was one thing, but this was something else entirely. He didn't just know her heritage he knew it all.

"You think I care what the Supreme Leader thinks about me?" She continued to put up a tough front, but inside she was crumbling. This was a scenario that she had never anticipated finding herself in. All she could think to do was continue lying.

"General Andal, step back." To her horror, Griss had risen to his feet and was now pointing a blaster directly at her, although his hands were visibly shaking. She could absolutely stop the bolt if he were to fire it, but she knew when to read the room. These people were her peers, and if she didn't want to be forcefully expelled from the First Order then she had to let Pryde go.

Reluctantly, she moved away from Pryde, shoving him in the process out of frustration. Her Saber remained active however, she didn't feel safe enough to lower her guard.

"Put that thing down Griss, you look a fool." Hux snapped, and Griss looked relieved to lower the blaster.

Pryde looked all the more smug having been released, but this wasn't the end of his onslaught. "I _know_ that you care about what the Supreme Leader thinks of you." His words, although directed at her, were addressing the entire room.

Still defensive, she didn't respond. She had no clue what to say to help herself now. Meanwhile, those around the table were leaning in as they listened with intent - this was the biggest scandal they had heard of in a long time.

"I saw you both on the balcony last night." He finally dropped the bomb that had been ticking away until now, and the way her face visibly dropped only confirmed the truth in what he was saying. She glanced at Hux, who once again wouldn't meet her eyes. Clearly Pryde had told him ahead of time about her relationship with Kylo, just not her heritage. She suspected that he had intended to turn Hux against her.

"Don't pull on that thread, Pryde. You don't understand what you're getting into." She knew that this warning was to no avail, but Pryde truly didn't understand the depth of their relationship.

How could anyone understand what it felt like to share their very life-force with another person?

"I understand what I saw, General, and what I heard." He sneered, and she bit the inside of her cheek, her grip on her Saber tightening until her knuckles went pale. She was on the brink of losing control, and she had no idea what to say.

"Stop toying with us Pryde, tell us what happened." Quinn spoke up, and she shot him a death glare.

She could sense Kylo drawing closer to the bridge, and now that their relationship was in question she almost wished he wasn't coming. It only made her look worse.

"I heard her say that she can't keep killing, because she's too much of a _Kenobi_." Pryde was seemingly thrilled with himself as he spoke, and as predicted that name carried some weight in the room.

Andal inhaled a sharp breath as all eyes fell on her. Some looked at her in anger, some in confusion. Then there was Hux, who almost looked like he was pitying her.

"Our own Supreme Leader has been protecting her, because they're... involved with one another _._ " He then added, which only raised the tension in the room even more. His tone was ambiguous, nobody could tell if he meant romantically involved, sexually involved, or both.

Someone was clearly on the brink of speaking up, most likely to reprimand her. But she spoke first, sensing Kylo was almost there.

"I would be careful Pryde." She warned him once more. "My relationship with the Supreme Leader is more than you think."

"What could possibly-" His voice was cut off by the blast doors opening to reveal Kylo. He had a fire burning in his eyes that mimicked her own. But he had missed the entire conversation - he still thought that they only knew of her heritage.

Everyone scrambled to their feet, and Pryde's face lost all of its colour.

_They know about us. Pryde saw us on Coruscant last night._

She gave him brief context as he moved to stand beside her. He noted the way she viciously clutched her Saber. There was a brief falter in his expression when he heard that news, but he regained his composure just as quickly.

"S-Supreme Leader, we weren't expecting you." Pryde attempted to pull himself together, but he should have done his research before deciding to expose Andal.

"I'm sure you weren't, but General Andal called me." He plainly said, as if it were completely normal. Nervous glances were exchanged around the room at that, nobody had seen her call him. "What we do in our spare time should be of no concern to this council, or the First Order."

"I warned you not to meddle in matters you don't understand, Pryde." Andal then added, noticing his discomfort at Kylo now being involved.

"With all due respect, Supreme Leader. She is related to the famed Jedi war general. That is something that this council deserved to know, and we can only assume that you have been protecting her because of your personal feelings." He had no choice but to stand his ground, even though it now terrified him to do so. He had gone to such great lengths to isolate her and push her into a corner, and now he suddenly had them both to deal with.

No matter what Kylo said now, she felt the energy around the room. These people would never accept her again, let alone trust her. Nobody wanted to work with the last living Kenobi who was also in a secret relationship with the Supreme Leader.

Pryde had succeeded. She was inevitably going to be cast out.

Kylo ignored his words and turned to her. Every thought that was passing through her head was passing through his too, and he managed to dull his rage down enough to realise that he had to at least try and diffuse the situation.

He was afraid, afraid that this would be the final push that would cause him to lose her.

His gloved hand gently rested on her blazing Lightsaber. "This won't help." He quietly said, willing her to retract the blade. He really must have been worried if he was being the level-headed one.

Reluctantly, she deactivated her Saber and clipped it back to her belt. But this small gesture just caused more glances to be exchanged amongst the council - it only reaffirmed their relationship.

"General Andal has proven herself multiple times. Personal feelings and heritage aside, it doesn't change anything." Kylo was standing up for her, and of course she was grateful, but she feared it was a lost cause. His opinion was clearly biased, and Pryde had more to say.

"I heard you last night General Andal, you said yourself that your conscience is weighing on you. You clearly are not loyal to the Order." This time she really couldn't accuse him of lying.

Kylo opened his mouth to retaliate, but she spoke before he could.

"You're right, Pryde. Maybe I'm not as loyal to the First Order as I once was, but I am loyal to our Supreme Leader, which is more than I can say for many of you." As the words left her mouth, Kylo looked at her in disbelief. He couldn't comprehend why she was admitting such a thing, but she placed a hand on his arm to attempt to reassure him. They couldn't keep trying to talk their way out of it.

"And were you 'loyal' to our previous Supreme Leader? You were one of the last people to see him alive, I cannot for a second imagine that Supreme Leader Ren would have killed his own Master, but perhaps he would have protected the Kenobi who did if he had feelings for her." That accusation caught everyone in the room off-guard.

One of them had to speak, and quickly, otherwise it would only look more suspicious. The irony was that the person who actually killed Snoke was the one person that they wouldn't dare accuse of it.

"The scavenger killed Snoke." Kylo said.

"An untrained girl managed to best the both of you? I find that very hard to believe." He sneered, and clearly there was agreement amongst those in the room.

Andal and Kylo exchanged a brief glance, only one of them was going to come out of this with the respect and trust of the council, and she knew it had to be him.

"The scavenger revealed my true identity to me, and Snoke attempted to kill me. Supreme Leader Ren attempted to bargain for my life, but before he could, the scavenger caught Snoke off guard and killed him." It still wasn't completely believable, but it was something at least, and it made Kylo look innocent.

_You didn't have to do that._

He immediately said to her.

_Yes I did._

She then responded. He could feel her emotions, and sporadically hear her thoughts, but he couldn't understand her motivations.

"Our previous Supreme Leader wanted you dead, the late Emperor Palpatine wanted you dead. Without Vader to protect you, you would have died long ago... You _should_ have died a long time ago." Forgetting whose presence he was in, Pryde's personal hatred became evident in his tone.

Simultaneously, both Kylo and Andal attempted to throw Pryde across the room using the Force. Both of them were acting on the instinct of their rage, but their combined power sent not only Pryde flying into the wall on the far side of the room, but every other council member also fell out of their seats.

Angry looks were immediately sent her way as everyone clambered back to their feet, but none of them would dare blame Kylo for his part in that Force push.

There was nothing else she could say or do to reaffirm her position with the council. Kylo was prepared to continue arguing, that much she was sure of, but she wasn't going to fight a losing battle.

Turning on her heel she stormed out of the room, and Ren didn't try and stop her. He knew there was nothing he could say or do now. This was down to her.

Her head a mess, she had been willing to stay with the Order for Kylo. But when she wasn't wanted here? Surely that had to change things.

The Finalizer was huge, and there was so much of it she hadn't ever had a chance to explore. Perhaps now she would never get the chance. Nevertheless, she found a large viewpoint in an empty control room. She sat atop the table situated right by the viewpoint and crossed her legs as she stared out into space.

"I made my choice." She whispered, hoping that somewhere Obi Wan was listening to her, "I made my choice but now I can't stay here. How is that fair?"

_Destiny is rarely fair, my dear. Search your feelings, you'll find your path._

Where she was used to hearing Kylo's voice in her head, Obi Wan's now invaded their mental connection. Whether or not Kylo would also have heard was another story.

The Force still radiated around Kylo. Did that mean he was her path still? But was she going to spend the rest of her life allowing the Force to dictate her actions?

Obi Wan had even told her that it's not always about following the will of the Force, it was about what she thought was right. Although she was still too attached to what made her happy to even think about the right path.

Behind her, the blast doors opened and when she turned around she was surprised to see Hux approaching her.

She said nothing to him, unsure as to where she stood with him. She shifted over and allowed him to perch on the table beside her.

"On the Pillio mission, you knew that Ren was injured." It wasn't at all what she expected to come out of his mouth, but she understood the premise behind it. Although it had been so long ago, she could imagine now that Hux was putting two and two together.

"I felt him get shot. It was the first time we realised how deeply we were connected through the Force." She wished she had come clean to Hux about everything a long time ago, but better late than never.

"And at that point were you..." he trailed off, still uncomfortable at the notion of Ren being in a relationship with someone, let alone her.

"No." She bluntly replied, "We really did want each other dead, for a long time actually. The connection just made us feel more threatened by each other at first."

"And this connection, what exactly is it?" He asked, and she appreciated that he was at least taking the time to get the full story from her, rather than jumping to conclusions as the council was most likely doing.

"We're a dyad in the Force." She laughed dryly, "I say that like I understand it, but we never knew until Snoke found out and told us. Kylo is... he's _part_ of me, and I can't explain it any better than that. It's more than just a connection, I was born as half of a whole, and so was he."

"I see." Hux said. He had discovered more about the Force in the past few weeks than he had ever intended to.

"Eventually we stopped fighting it, and from there things just progressed." She shrugged.

"Ren's in there bargaining with the council, but if you just explain it then I'm sure-"

"There's no coming back from this Hux, you and I both know that. Kylo does too, he's just in denial." She let out a heavy sigh, "I can't stay here, no matter what I've done for the First Order, a Kenobi has no place here."

"If it were up to me things would have gone very differently." For all it was worth, she appreciated his sentiment.

"I think it was just a matter of time. We tried to keep it a secret for so long, but obviously we got careless." In the back of her mind she wondered if this was always the way it was going to end. The Force works in mysterious ways, and she couldn't shake the memory of what Anakin had told her about destiny.

_"Destiny's complicated, it finds you even when you don't want it to."_

Ever since Anakin had told her about the way the Force clouded her from birth, she wondered just how much of her life had been orchestrated by this mysterious destiny. Perhaps this was just another piece of it.

The Force still wanted her to stay with Kylo, but she knew that she could no longer remain with the First Order. If what Anakin said was true, then she knew she would be reunited with Kylo one way or another.

"Where will you go?" Hux asked her, breaking her train of thought.

She thought for a moment, wondering where in the galaxy she _could_ go. Mandalore wasn't an option anymore, and neither was Coruscant. There was only one other place she had ever called home.

"Tatooine."


	28. Chapter Twenty Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making the decision to leave the First Order hadn't been easy. But leaving in itself turned out to be even harder.

Packing was easier than she thought. Perhaps it was because she had very few personal belongings. Aside from clothes, Obi Wan's old cloak, and her Sabers, she had nothing. It all fit in a small bag. The only other thing Hux had insisted she takes was credits, he had managed to secure her a _very_ generous amount.

It meant she could travel light at least. She was hoping her piloting lessons would serve her well enough to steal a TIE and escape before anybody realised what she's doing... even Kylo.

But she rarely got her way, especially where the dyad was concerned. Of course Kylo could sense what she was doing, she was foolish to think that he wouldn't. As if on cue, the blast doors to her quarters just as she was clipping both Sabers to her belt.

"You weren't going to tell me, were you." His voice was hoarse, and she inhaled a deep breath before turning to face him. She had never seen him look so vulnerable, and it broke her heart. He looked as though he could burst into tears at any moment.

"How could I?" Her own voice was rich with emotion, she had wanted to avoid this. Not to spare Kylo, but to spare herself. "We both know I can't stay."

"You can." He urged her, stepping forward to take her hands, "You can stay with me, we can kill anyone who tries to stop us."

"Kylo-" she sighed, "it's not that simple. This doesn't change how I feel about you, but I'll never be accepted here; and I don't know if I want to be."

"Just stay with me... please." His voice cracked as he mimicked his words from Coruscant, and she couldn't bring herself to look at him anymore. There was so much more emotion behind those words now.

She gently removed her hands from his and moved past him towards the blast door.

"I'm sorry Kylo, I wish things were different." She stopped on her way out of the door, still not able to bring herself to turn and face him.

"You know that if they raise the alarm, I'll have to stop you." He quietly told her, and she was dreading that scenario.

"You'll have to try." She responded, before pulling her hood up and leaving him stood alone in her quarters.

Knowing this would be the last time she walked through the Finalizer was an odd sensation. Although her heart was aching leaving Kylo behind, leaving the First Order felt like the right thing to do. Well, it was that or she would likely be forcefully cast out.

Hux was the only person who knew where she was going, and he assured her that it would remain secret. She knew better than to tell Kylo, he would just try and follow her, but she was going to have to try exceptionally hard to mask her whereabouts from him through the Force.

As she rounded the corner she bumped into the one person who she was hoping to avoid.

"What did I do to hurt you?" She grumbled under her breath, speaking directly to the Force. Maybe this was her punishment for deciding against following her 'destiny.'

"Darth Andal." Pryde stopped her, and it didn't go amiss that he now refused to use her title.

"Excuse me Allegiant General, but I'm rather busy." She attempted to brush past him, but he latched onto her arm in the process.

"Heading to the hanger?" He asked, accusingly. The bag was enough of a giveaway.

"And if I am, what concern is it of yours?" She asked, snatching her arm from his grip.

"It is every bit my concern should you be deserting the First Order." His eyes narrowed, and she straightened her stance, preparing to take off for the hanger at speed.

"You push me out, then decide to call me a deserter as if I've been left any choice. Ironic." She gave a dry laugh, "I suggest you stay out of this."

"You're nothing but a filthy traitor, once protected by Vader and now protected by Supreme Leader Ren." He snarled.

 _"Move."_ She forcefully pushed past him and only made it another two steps before Pryde spoke up again.

"Darth Andal, stay where you are." He commanded, snatching a blaster from a passing trooper and pointing it directly at her.

"You don't want to do this Pryde." She warned him, hand inching towards Vader's hilt.

"Oh I think I do. The Supreme Leader will finally see you for the traitor you are." He hissed.

She almost laughed at his statement, if only Pryde had bothered to find out the true extent of their relationship. Kylo was begging that the alarm wasn't raised, and his highest ranking officer was about to ruin it for him.

There was only a split second for her to make a decision, and her fight or flight kicked in. She viciously kicked Pryde square in the chest and took off running towards the hanger. There was still time for her to get away.

Sure, she could have used the Force to push him away, but kicking him was just more fun.

"Red alert, all officers: lockdown the base, there is a traitor in our midst, and she's attempting to flee. I repeat, stop Darth Andal at all costs." Pryde spoke into his comm once he had recovered from the initial impact of her kick.

Alarms began blaring as she entered the hanger, and glances were being thrown her way. She just had to get to a TIE.

"General Andal, we have orders to stop you." Some plucky troopers stood in front of her, weapons raised. They were practically shaking.

She didn't stop even for a moment, she knew she didn't have long until Kylo would be the there to try and stop her. But her escape was just visible ahead of her. Her hand swept in front of her and the Force whisked the group of troopers out of her way, and she kept running.

_You need to stop._

She heard Kylo tell her. She knew that neither of them wanted to fight the other, but he had no choice but to do his duty as Supreme Leader.

_You know I can't do that._

Was her immediate response as she approached the TIE, throwing her bag up into the cockpit. However, before she could climb in herself, a blaster blot came flying at her head which caused her to drop back to the ground to avoid it.

When she turned around, she was met by a wall of troopers, all with their weapons raised. They were flanked by their Supreme Leader. She could see a number of Supreme Council members amongst the crowd, Hux included.

"You can surrender now, or be accused of treason against the First Order." Kylo spoke with authority, despite the words feeling like acid on his tongue. With their relationship now common knowledge amongst the Supreme Council, there was no telling how far that news had spread in a mere few hours. Everyone was looking to him to stop one of his own Generals from deserting, but she was so much more to him than that.

He knew what happened to traitors, but he also knew he couldn't let her go. He had to assert his power.

"I'll do what I must." She solemnly told him, dropping her cloak to the ground as she reached for Vader's hilt.

Kylo mimicked her actions by dropping his cloak, he then activated his Saber, his posture hunched over as it usually was.

Her own red blade erupted from the hilt and she twirled the Saber in her dominant hand before pulling it behind her shoulder to point at Kylo, her off-hand rising to meet it, using two fingers to point at him. It had once been Obi Wan's preferred defensive stance, one he had engrained in her from an early age, before Vader had taught her otherwise.

If she was going to beat Kylo, she couldn't fight how he would predict her to.

Everyone watched with bated breath as the two Force-users entered a standoff, daring the other to move first. Every trooper watching had the opportunity to shoot her down, but they knew better than to step on the Supreme Leader's toes.

Kylo lunged first, dashing towards her with a ferocious strike, he wasn't holding anything back. After being defeated by Skywalker, he couldn't allow himself to repeat that failure.

Rather than meeting his blade with her own strike she opted to duck underneath his swing, sliding across the floor until she once again stood opposite him.

"You don't have to do this." She attempted to urge him, but she knew it would be to no avail.

"Neither do you." He retaliated. They no longer needed to be anxious about seeming over-familiar with one another, everyone knew now.

"You know that's not true." This time she lunged, blade swinging to clash with his.

He parried her strike, and their altercation quickly became a stalemate. No matter who swung, the other could block with their Saber. If one of them tried to use of the Force or kick the other, they would recover quickly enough to get back on their feet.

All anyone else saw was a flurry of red strikes, moving so quickly it was hard to keep up. But there was clearly no winner, they knew each other too well. Perhaps it was the dyad, but they could preempt each other's strikes without trying.

At the same time, they both extended their arms which weren't holding their weapons and used the Force to push the other away. In doing so they created a backlash which sent them both flying to the ground - as if they were magnets repelling one another.

She pulled herself back to her feet, and watched Kylo do the same. Both of them were breathless, but each just as determined to be victorious. Though neither of them had any intention of hurting the other, making everything just that bit more complicated.

"There's no escape, _submit._ " A voice rang out from the crowd, and she would put credits on it being Pryde's. He was hell-bent on winning, whatever the cost.

Both her and Kylo ignored the heckling, they were too busy staring at one another.

"If I stay, you'll have to kill me." She attempted to bargain with him one last time, and she could see the flash of dread on his face.

_I couldn't do that._

He couldn't bring himself to answer aloud, and she appreciated that. He would be admitting to his biggest weakness in front of almost the entire First Order. But whilst his feelings for her may have been a weakness, they were still each other's strength.

"It doesn't matter if you stay, or leave. You will die." He spoke aloud, spinning his Saber round in his hand.

She knew that this wasn't true, if she were able to escape, Kylo would never actively pursue her with the intention of killing her. But escaping was the key part of that plan. If she became a prisoner of the First Order, her fate would likely fall out of Kylo's control.

"If that's the case-" She began, knowing that they were just going to enter another evenly matched fight if they both continued to hold back. Her non-dominant hand reached towards her waist, and only then did Kylo notice the second hilt that was attached to her belt, his eyes widening slightly at the sight. "-I'll take my chances with leaving." She quipped, igniting the blade from Obi Wan's Saber.

There were many stunned faces in the crowd, it was common knowledge that the blue Lightsaber was a colour associated with the Jedi. If people didn't believe her heritage before, they would now.

Kylo knew that this would likely be his downfall, and much like a caged animal, he lashed out in anticipation. She immediately broke his strike using both Sabers, and then began to viciously swing at him with a flurry of strikes.

Her movements were so quick and calculated that he had no opportunity to break her pattern, his own defence was faltering considering that for every strike he blocked, there was barely a second before another blade swung at him.

All of Kylo's energy went into blocking every strike as quickly as he could, but he was being forcefully pushed backwards with every swing of her dual Sabers. It was obviously a losing battle for the Supreme Leader, anybody with eyes could see it. There was frustration coming off Kylo in waves at the notion of losing now not only to Skywalker, but a disgraced General - whom he just happened to be in love with.

It really wasn't going to bode well for his public image.

Meanwhile, very few people had seen the infamous apprentice of Vader in action. Although it was widely assumed that she was powerful, this display was beyond anyone's expectations. A number of troopers were about to lose bets that Kylo Ren could kick her ass...

When Kylo's defence inevitably broke from her relentless onslaught, she sent him flying back with the Force. The expectation was for her to cut him down, or at least injure him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. It may have been a weakness, but it was one she could now accept.

With their Supreme Leader on the floor, troopers were immediately ordered to start firing, and she could feel a spike in Kylo's anxiety. He was worried that she'd be struck down.

She began walking backwards towards the TIE, blocking every blaster bolt with both of her Sabers. The Force was screaming at her to not leave Kylo there, but this was something she had to do for herself, she couldn't spend her whole life chasing an unknown destiny.

She loved him, she really did, but Kylo had to love her enough to let her leave.

When she reached beneath the TIE she leapt up into the cockpit just as Kylo was pulling himself back to his feet. The blaster fire continued, but the TIE's armour was strong enough to hold up, at least for a while.

Throwing herself into the pilot's seat, she glanced at the controls and inhaled a deep breath. Flying the Silencer under Kylo's instruction was one thing, but this was truly a trial by fire for her piloting skills, surely she couldn't fall at the final hurdle.

_The ignition is on the left in a TIE Fighter._

Kylo's familiar voice in her head took her by surprise, and out of the cockpit viewpoint she could see him standing and watching her. He simply gave her a small nod.

It turned out he did love her enough to let her leave. Enough to help her in fact.

She was too distracted firing up the engines and beginning to takeoff to respond to him, all of her focus was just on not killing herself now. It was rocky, but she made it into the air and out of the hanger.

"Should we pursue her, Supreme Leader?" Pryde begrudgingly asked. Of course he wanted nothing more than to shoot her down, but he didn't have that kind of power. That order had to come from Kylo, and Kylo alone.

"No, let her go." He mumbled, walking to crouch where she had left her cloak discarded on the ground. "I'll see her again." He then muttered under his breath, as if convincing himself. He picked up the cloak and stormed off, the crowd parting for him as he walked.

She was going to miss Kylo terribly. For the first time since she had first been woken up, she was well and truly alone, but she felt good about it. She wasn't welcome in the First Order anymore, and the only place in the galaxy which she recognised as home was Tatooine, which was ironic, because they had never lived there by choice.

It was a miracle that she had managed to get there in one piece, but it turned out Kylo was a better teacher than she had given him credit for. When she came out of hyperspace the landing was extremely rough, but she still made it to the ground, and it wasn't like she was planning on using the ship again in a hurry.

She thought it best to land in the Mos Eisley spaceport, she didn't want a TIE Fighter docked right by her homestead. It was one easy way to attract unwanted attention, so she immediately traded the ship for a speeder.

From there, it was fairly short ride back in the familiar direction of home. When she had first been here with Kylo, the whole place seemed foreign, but now she knew the terrain like the back of her hand.

When she arrived at her old home, she found it still empty. It took her some time to clear the surfaces of sand. One thing she certainly hadn't missed was constantly finding sand in every single nook and cranny, and this cleanup job trumped them all.

In the process of cleaning around the bed which had once belonged to Obi Wan, she found a golden necklace wedged deep between the cot and the wall. She had never seen it before, but as she touched it she could vaguely sense the memories attached to it, it had belonged to her mother, Satine. She clasped it around her neck, wanting to carry that piece of her past with her.

She had taken the emergency supplies from the onboard the TIE Fighter, which gave her enough rations to substitute for a hearty meal. In the morning she could go back to Mos Eisley and properly stock up on supplies. Perhaps some new clothes as well, it was time for a change... and wearing all black was a First Order staple, around Tatooine she would stick out like a sore thumb.

She had left her cloak with Kylo, the gift he had given her that she treasured for a long time. It tugged at her heartstrings to think about it.

Yes, it was something so simple, a mere item of clothing. But he had given that to her after she saved his life on Pillio, and after he had watched her be forced through trauma by Del Meeko during his interrogation. To her, that cloak had been symbolic of the turning point in their relationship. Perhaps in leaving it behind it was now ironically symbolic of a different turning point in their relationship.

It felt so empty being in the hut without her father. So much so that she struggled to be inside without feeling an overwhelming sense of longing. The only time she had felt this alone was when she had first been woken up from carbon-freezing.

She elected to spend the early hours of nightfall outside, sitting peacefully in front of a fire whilst she meditated. She could feel Kylo still, even though they were now lightyears apart.

It was easy to lose track of time, but she thought it now must have been over an entire cycle since she was woken from carbon-freezing. In that time she had wanted Kylo Ren dead, he had wanted her dead, they had found themselves unwillingly connected through the Force, she had saved his life multiple times, and then he had even killed Snoke in order to save her.

She had found the other half of her very being, ironically found it in the man who had been her enemy.

_Thank you._

Would he hear her from this far away? She had no idea, but without Kylo she would still be a block of carbonite, she would still have no memories of her true identity, and she would still only be half of a life force.

_Find what you're looking for. Then come back to me._

There was his voice, as clear as day, from the other side of the galaxy. The dyad was clearly more powerful than they had ever anticipated.

Her heart ached for him, it was a sensation that she still wasn't accustomed to. Attachments had been forbidden by the Jedi, and the Sith teachings had never actively encouraged her to become emotionally invested in people, but the Force had other ideas for her.

It didn't matter now, she was neither Jedi nor Sith, she was something else. It was just a case of finding out what, she needed a new purpose. But as she laid back and looked up at the clear night sky it wasn't what was on her mind.

She was at peace, being planet-side again felt so natural. Now she had truly accepted that it was time to leave Darth Andal behind and embrace the fact that she was still Y/N Kenobi. But that didn't mean she was the same girl who had lived on Tatooine thirty years ago.

Across the galaxy, aboard the Finalizer, Kylo stood looking out of the viewpoint on the bridge. He was silent, still licking his wounds from being publicly defeated. But his thoughts were on her. He was aching from losing her, but he knew that she would be in danger if she stayed.

He knew he'd see her again.

><><><><><><><><><><

When morning broke, she was awoken by the twin suns burning against her skin. She had forgotten how hot it really was on Tatooine, but she still preferred it to being cold.

She hauled herself back inside the hut and to the freshly cleaned refresher. After washing her face and brushing her teeth she was ready to take off for Mos Eisley again. Knowing how dangerous that spaceport used to be, she took both of her Sabers, but tore the First Order emblem off of her belt. She no longer wanted to be associated with the Order.

She also threw Obi Wan's cloak on. It was lightweight, and had protected him from the harsh sunlight for years. Plus it covered her all-black aesthetic, she didn't want to attract any unwanted attention.

The only other thing she took was the credits Hux had given her. Not only would she need them, but she knew it wasn't safe to leave anything valuable in an empty hut, there was no predicting when Sand People would attempt to ransack it.

Mos Eisley had changed since she was last there, it was no longer overrun by Hutt cartels and criminals. She remembered hearing of a young Jedi dismantling the Hutt clan. Although he had hidden it well, she had noticed at the time how proud Vader had been of Luke for such a feat. Now she knew that it was because Anakin had grown up under the thumb of slavery and the Hutts.

It didn't seem to take her long before she found a seamstress in the marketplace, a human woman sat beneath a canopy. She had plenty of clothes available, all more suited to the climate than what she was currently wearing.

She settled on a sleeveless black tunic, which crossed over her chest and split into two strips which draped down to her ankles, and some dark grey trousers. She added boots, a belt, and gauntlets with attached gloves. The accessories were all brown but adorned with gold, matching Satine's necklace which she now wore.

The seamstress was thrilled to make such a large sale, and especially to be paid such a healthy amount of credits. Hux had given her far more than she needed, so she gave a healthy tip to the woman, it was the kind of selfless thing her father would do. Being selfless wasn't really in her nature anymore...

In exchange for the extra credits, the seamstress had given her a private space to change in, and then discarded of her old clothes for her. She no longer had need of them, and whereas she had once sought comfort and familiarity in them, they now just reminded her of a life she had been forced to live.

Before she could go and buy food and other essential supplies, she passed the Mos Eisley cantina. The place itself was nothing special, but it had been one of the last places she visited before Palpatine took her memories. It had been where she'd met the father of the man she would later fall in love with.

The Force was drawing her to the cantina, willing her to go in. So, for sentiment's sake, she decided to go for a drink. It wasn't like she had anywhere else to be, she had gone from the packed schedule of a First Order general, to absolutely nothing.

"Jettoz!" The man behind the bar greeted her in what she recognised as Bocce. He looked human, but she was surprised that he hadn't spoken to her in Basic.

She had never been great at speaking Bocce, but thanks to the Force she was at least able to understand it.

Giving the bartender a nod as she approached, she ignored the stares from all of the various other species which filled the cantina. "Jawa Juice." She ordered, on instinct. She had actually never drank anything here, but it was the only thing she had ever heard Obi Wan order.

Moments later she was handed a glass, and she exchanged it for a handful of credits.

"Zanki." She said, knowing that it meant 'thank you' in Bocce.

Glancing around she saw one empty booth in the corner. Away from everyone else, and some privacy, it was ideal.

As she sipped at her drink, her eyes fell on the booth where they had found Han sat all those years ago. It was amazing how little this place had changed in thirty years or so.

_"Chewie here tells me you're looking for passage to the Alderaan system." Han said, looking completely blasé about the whole interaction._

_"Yes indeed, if it's a fast ship." Her father had spoken, and from there the pair of them had began a debate over the speed of the Millennium Falcon, and the cost of the journey._

_She was shocked when Obi Wan offered a total of 17,000 credits for the journey, but unlike Luke she was aware of the gravity of the situation. Han and Chewie unsurprisingly agreed to that healthy sum of money._

_"Okay, you guys got yourself a ship. We'll leave as soon as you're ready. Docking bay ninety four."_

Little did she know at the time just how dreadfully that journey would end. But if Vader hadn't struck Obi Wan down and turned her to the dark side, she would have never been put into carbon-freezing, which meant she wouldn't have been sitting in the same cantina right now.

Perhaps the Force had been dictating her path and actions more than she thought. She wondered how long she could go against its will before it forced her back on the path laid out for her.

"Is this seat taken?" A male voice snapped her out of her memories, and when she laid eyes on the man who spoke she leapt to her feet.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her hand taking ahold of one of her Saber hilts. She didn't even know which one at this point, she wasn't looking.

"I could ask you the same question." The man said, casually taking a seat, "this doesn't look much like a First Order checkpoint."

Watching his movements, she slowly mimicked them and sat back down, wanting to avoid causing a scene. But she placed her hilt on the table and kept her hand on it, it didn't hurt to remind him that she could kill him _very_ quickly.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't much look like a Resistance base either." She narrowed her eyes.

"We have business here." He gave a devilish smirk, sitting back in his seat. He looked far too relaxed for her liking.

"What business?" She decided to bite.

"You." A second voice joined the conversation as another man sat down at the table.

She let out a dry laugh, "and what a pair you two make. Whatever you want from me, you're wasting your time."

"Look, we know you're not with the First Order anymore. I'm Finn, this is Poe, and we're here by request from General Organa." She had met both of the men sat before her before, but under entirely different circumstances.

"I know who you both are, and _you_ in particular should know that I'm not someone you want to trifle with." She smirked as she looked at Poe. Her and Kylo had invaded his mind, months ago now, but it had put him through immense amounts of pain. Perhaps it was cruel of her to bring that up, but she needed to remind them both of the power she held.

Poe shifted uncomfortably in his seat, and she noticed Finn surreptitiously placing a comforting hand on his thigh. She noticed the energy between them, perhaps when she had said 'what a pair' they make she had been barking up the right tree.

"We're not here to fight you." Finn urged, "we're _not_ your enemy."

"No, but I'm yours." She reminded them.

"Not anymore you're not." Finn argued.

She pursed her lips, impressed at how confident Finn had become. Clearly the Resistance had done him good, she had never met a stormtrooper with such an impressive moral compass.

"Just come with us, Leia and the Resistance need you." Poe then spoke, and she truly couldn't understand how he could speak to her in such a sincere way when she had interrogated and tortured him.

"This isn't my war anymore." She had no idea how they had tracked her down, or knew that she had abandoned the First Order, but she didn't much care. She just wanted to be left in peace.

She downed the remaining contents of her drink and rose to her feet, ready to leave, but before she could Poe spoke again.

"So that's it? The apprentice of one of the most powerful men who ever lived, the daughter of one of the most famous Jedi, and you're just going to sit on this desert wasteland and wait to die a quiet death?" He was taunting her now, and she wasn't stupid, he was hoping that it would compel her to go.

"Yes, that's exactly it." She snorted. It wasn't true, but she was hoping it would at least get the two men off her back.

"We're not leaving." Finn said, "we have our orders." With that they both rose to their feet as well, clearly ready to pursue her.

"Then you can go back to Leia, and politely decline her request for me." She sighed, "I don't know how you found me, but historically people come to Tatooine to be left _alone._ " She reiterated before walking off, both men hot on her heels.

They fell into stride either side of her as she left the cantina. Curse the Force for willing her to go in there, she wasn't interested in following her kriffing destiny anymore.

"General Organa said you might not be easily swayed. But she insisted that you at least come and decline her request in person, and then we'll drop you right back here." Finn said, and she rolled her eyes.

"How gullible do you think I am? I'm not getting dragged into your war, especially not into the Resistance." She huffed.

"Look, we're not the Empire, or the First Order. If you don't want to stay, we will stick to our word and drop you right back here." Poe was being frustratingly insistent.

She stopped walking, and pinched the bridge of her nose with a heavy sigh, "Maker you're exhausting." She grumbled, "If, and I mean _if_ I come, you're dropping me right back."

"You have our word." Poe winked at her with a sloppy grin on his face. She studied him for a moment, she knew he was a flirtatious man, despite seemingly being tied to Finn. But he did remind her slightly of Cardo...

The Knights had no idea she'd left. She felt somewhat as though she had betrayed them, but that thought was quickly expelled from her mind, she couldn't dwell on it.

"Fine." She conceded, knowing that they weren't going to give up.

Truth be told, she wasn't ready to face Leia. She was probably expecting the same young woman who had helped to rescue her from the Death Star, but despite not being a Sith apprentice anymore, she still wasn't the same person she had been before.

"How did you find me?" She finally addressed the elephant in the room as she reluctantly followed them to the docking bays.

"We received an anonymous tip from within the First Order. You must have an ally." Finn commented, with an eyebrow raised.

"And that means we might have a mole." Poe then added, and she furrowed her brow.

"But nobody knew-" she muttered under her breath, but it clicked very quickly.

Hux, of course it was. She refused to say it aloud, but without her there she could imagine that he had very few friends, if any. Hux still hated Kylo, it was just a matter of time before he turned on the First Order.

It gave her some peace of mind that Hux had told the Resistance where she was. If he wanted them to know, she had to trust that he had a good reason.

But that didn't mean she wasn't still planning on coming right back after talking to Leia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this marks the beginning of the final ten chapters! Reader still has a lot of self-discovery to do, amongst other things so there is still plenty to come before I round it all up.
> 
> If you wanna know what the new outfit roughly looks like it'll be posted on my tumblr: renfics.tumblr.com


	29. Chapter Twenty Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joining the Resistance still isn't an option in Y/N's opinion. But she soon realises that there are still things she can do to help get herself back to Kylo faster.

"I know what it's like." Finn said, inviting himself to sit opposite her aboard the Falcon whilst Poe and Chewie piloted. "To leave the First Order I mean."

"You know what's it's like to _choose_ to leave, not what it's like to be forced out." She grumbled. Seeing Chewie immediately had reminded her of Han's death, and although it had been Kylo's doing, she still felt a degree of second-hand guilt. She could have stopped it...

But having said that, Chewie had been thrilled to see her, immediately scooping her up in his arms. But much like everyone else, he seemed to assume that because she had left the First Order she was going to be a do-good Jedi. It wasn't that simple for her.

"You're right, I don't. But I'm the closest thing you have to someone who understands." He was being so _nice_ to her. A mere few days ago she had been their sworn enemy, how could they be so quick to trust her?

"I remember when you escaped." She changed the subject, having no interest in opening herself to emotional support. Her emotional support consisted of the only person in the galaxy who really _did_ know how she felt and what she was going through. "You caused us a hell of a problem."

"That was kinda the point." He shot her a grin, and she exhaled a short laugh.

"We were up all night trying to track you down. Kylo and I-" She cut herself off.

Her and Kylo had been discussing a vision she'd had in her quarters. They had nearly kissed, perhaps they would have if they hadn't been summoned to the bridge... but all it had done was delay the inevitable.

"You and Ren, were you close?" Finn asked, prying more than she appreciated.

"No." She bit the inside of her cheek, "no we weren't. We wanted each other dead most of the time."

Clearly Rey hadn't told people of their connection, and she was desperate to keep it that way. She had no idea how the Resistance was run, but she wasn't going to allow them to exploit her relationship with Kylo for their own benefit.

Finn sensed her tone, and went quiet. She wanted to ask if he had been the one to kill Phasma, but she feared she already knew the answer to her own question. Bringing it up would only spark an argument between them because there was no way they would ever agree that Phasma didn't deserve to meet her demise aboard the Supremacy.

"You'll be safe with the Resistance." Finn then awkwardly broke the silence, "after Crait our base moved to-"

"Don't." She quickly interrupted him, and his brow furrowed. "Don't tell me where we're going, just... trust me. It's not safe to tell me."

 _'Trust me,'_ they were ironic words. She knew that the only two people who trusted her were still aboard the Finalizer. Where she was going she was likely to be very unpopular.

"Buckle up, we're landing!" Poe's voice rang out from the cockpit, and both of them prepared themselves to leave hyperspace.

When they landed, they all approached the boarding ramp. Sensing that many eyes were about to be on her, she pulled the hood of Obi Wan's cloak up over her head. She had probably tried to kill 90% of the people here.

She trailed down behind the others, and as predicted, there were a lot of gazes being thrown her way, but the only one she could focus on was the woman who waited at the bottom of the ramp for them, or more specifically: for her.

"Darth Andal?" Leia hesitantly addressed her, testing the waters on just who she was speaking to.

"Y/N." She plainly replied, reluctantly pulling the hood back to properly look at her. It was far too big for her, and covered too much of her vision to be practical.

Leia looked very satisfied with that answer, happy even.

"It's good to have you back." She calmly said, gesturing for her to follow as she walked off through the crowd of prying eyes.

"And it's good to see you, Princess." She responded, that title earning some confused looks from those around her.

"It's General now." Leia smirked slightly, leading her through a control room and into a private office.

Wherever they were, the climate was very humid. They seemed to be surrounded by forests and undergrowth, she knew she had never been here before.

"It'll always be Princess to me." She responded, taking a seat opposite Leia at her desk.

"I'm glad you came." Leia then changed the subject.

"I can't say you left me much of a choice. I'm only here to tell you that I want to be left alone, I have no interest in joining your war." She explained, to which Leia nodded.

"I understand. But I didn't bring you here to be part of the war, I needed something else from you."

"What?" Y/N furrowed her brow.

Leia had aged gracefully, the same as Luke and Han both had, but she had the exact same poise and passion as she'd had all those years ago aboard the first Death Star. It was funny to think that Leia was actually younger than her by a few years.

"My son." Her assured form faltered for a moment, "I know how he feels about you."

"Did Rey tell you?" She asked, her mouth going dry at the mere thought of Kylo. She missed him.

"She didn't have to. I could sense his power growing, and when I found out you were still alive? I could put two and two together, and I know my son. It was only natural that he would fall for you. Luke had told me that he wouldn't reach his true potential until his other half surfaced."

She slowly nodded at this, evaluating what Leia could possibly be asking of her, "I miss him, a lot. But I don't see what any of this has to do with you bringing me here."

"Because he's beyond me reach now, and Han-" she broke her gaze for a moment, silently mourning his loss, "-Han couldn't bring him home. You're the only one who can."

"Princess..." She sighed, "I'm sorry about Han, I really am, but I don't think you understand just how rooted in the dark he is now. Our balance is fragile - there was a time when I was the only thing keeping him in the dark, but now he's all that's keeping me there. I can't help you."

"You _can._ Y/N, you can bring Ben back to me." Her voice cracked slightly, and she couldn't deny the way it tugged at her heartstrings to see a mother's undying love for her son. She couldn't imagine how much it must have hurt to watch him turn to the dark side.

"Leia, I never _knew_ Ben." She said, and regret was laced throughout her tone, she really did feel guilty, "I just want him to be happy, I don't care if he's Ben or Kylo."

"Do you think he's happy now?" Leia asked, and that question was more loaded than she knew.

"I think he _was._ " She briefly reminisced on their happier moments, stolen away in one of their quarters at the dead of night. "But without me there, he'll only stray further from the light." It sounded conceited to say, but the statement worked vice versa. She was only truly happy when she was in his company, and she had ultimately given that up for her morals. That, and she was fed up of allowing a mysterious destiny to dictate her life.

"If you join us and help us end this war, you can be with him again." Leia bargained with her one last time, but she stood her ground.

"I meant what I said. I didn't leave the First Order to join the Resistance, I left so I could find my own direction for once."

"Okay," Leia sighed, accepting defeat on this occasion. "But before I have Poe take you back to Tatooine, will you do something for me?"

She simply nodded in response, prompting Leia to talk again.

"Will you stay here tonight and train Rey in the morning? If she's going to go up against my son, she'll need your help."

It didn't sound like a big ask, but it felt like one. Training Rey was going to immediately disadvantage Kylo, but then again the faster the war ended, the faster she could try and regain some sense of normality with him.

"I'll do it." She eventually agreed.

"I'll have Finn show you to a bunk for the night." She gave a warm smile, rising to her feet.

They made their way to the door together, and Finn was already waiting in the control room.

"Y/N will be needing a bunk for the night." Leia told him, and a flash of surprise crossed his face.

"Just one night." She then clarified, still adamant on returning to Tatooine.

"Right this way." Finn ushered her off, and she followed.

"Just one night huh?" He smirked as he looked at her.

"I'm doing a favour for an old friend, don't read into it." She shook her head, her eyes anxiously glancing at everyone who passed her. She didn't like the feeling of being stared at.

"Y'know there were a lot of rumours flying around the First Order about you." Finn the volunteered, "Is it true you came out of carbon-freezing? General Organa said she knew you when you were younger."

She let out a laugh, "You want your answer? Ask the Princess how old _she_ was when she met me." A smirk followed this as Finn tried to keep up.

"You're older than her?" His brow furrowed as they stopped in front of a blast door which opened to reveal a private room.

"Goodnight Finn." She simply said, leaving him to piece it together himself.

Despite having spent many long, stressful hours tracking down the alleged traitor FN-2187, she now realised that her and Finn really were one in the same. Both had left the First Order to try and find their own path, Finn's had just led him to the Resistance.

The room was quaint, it had a small cot and attached refresher. For one night she didn't need much more.

After showering, she searched for some suitable clothes to sleep in and found that at the foot of her cot there was a pile of folded clothing, consisting of a loose fitting shirt and some accompanying shorts.

They were a hideous beige colour, but they were just a means to an end.

She suddenly felt her rage spiking, just as she was about to turn in for the night. She had the desire to slash her Lightsabers against the wall, anything to let off steam, but she knew that this wasn't her rage.

_What happened?_

She reached out to Kylo, hoping he would hear her. She assumed that he had to hear her given that she was suffering from his emotions from this far away.

_Nothing._

He immediately responded, but trying to brush it off as usual.

_I'm desperate to put my Saber through someone's chest right now, so it can't be nothing._

Before Kylo could reply, the world around her silenced and came to a standstill. Her brow furrowed, having only ever experienced this when speaking to Anakin or Obi Wan, not Kylo.

"It's just been a long day." Kylo spoke, but it sounded as thought he was here with her, and when she looked up... he was.

"Kylo?" Her voice trailed off as she whispered, stepping towards him. He looked just as surprised that he could see her. They had never done this before, but then again they had never been apart for long enough to try.

"Where are you?" He asked, taking in her appearance.

"You can't see?" She continued slowly approaching him.

"No. I only see you." His voice softened, any rage he had been feeling was dissipating, she could feel it.

When she closed the gap between them, her hand reached up painstakingly slowly to touch the side of his face. When her hand made contact with his skin, they both inhaled a sharp breath... they were really together, even from this far apart.

"You're-" she began to speak, her voice not much above a whisper, but Kylo interrupted her by pulling her into his arms, lips meeting hers in a fiery kiss.

She immediately relaxed into his embrace, seeking a much-needed sense of familiarity in his arms. Their kiss was full of desire which had built up from being separated, even though it had barely been that long. But they had been used to spending every night together until now.

When their lips parted they remained close, foreheads pressed together.

"Please come back to me..." He whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

"You know I can't do that." She regretfully responded. Even if she could somehow look beyond her morals, there was no way the Supreme Council would ever accept having her back, regardless of what their Supreme Leader says.

"I can't do this without you." He seemed so vulnerable suddenly, the anger he had previously been feeling now manifesting as yearning for her - the one person who made him happy and kept him balanced.

"Yes you can." She pulled back slightly, hand running through his dark curls as it so often did when she was attempting to console him. "I was dragging you down with the First Order, I only stayed for you, and now you don't have to lie or protect from me the council. You just need to remind them who their Supreme Leader is." She assured him, and he hummed in satisfaction.

"You're right." He surprisingly agreed with her without putting up a fight, before abruptly changing the subject. "You never told me where you are."

She pursed her lips for a moment, wondering whether to lie to him or tell him the truth. She truly didn't have any interest in the Resistance or the war, but she was starting to believe that the only way she would reunite with Kylo was to end the fighting.

"I was on Tatooine." She began, slowly detaching herself from him to step back in anticipation for how he might react next, "but the Resistance tracked me down."

"What?" He immediately snapped, hands balling into fists, "did they hurt you? Are you okay? You can tell me where their base is. I can come and burn them to the ground-"

"-No, I'm fine." She quickly interrupted in an attempt to calm him down, "but they refused to leave until I came with them to decline Leia's request to join the Resistance in person. I have no idea where the base is, they didn't tell me."

"Y-you spoke with my mother?" Kylo immediately faltered, looking as though all of his anger was crumbling.

"I did." She solemnly nodded, "but only to tell her that I'm not staying. Tomorrow I'm going back to Tatooine... she misses you." She added that last part for Leia's sake. It only felt fair.

Kylo studied her for a moment, not angry, or upset just... curiously. He was silently searching for something within her, and after a few moments he seemingly found it. "If you stay there, you'll be my enemy."

She found it interesting that he ignored her comment about Leia missing him. But she could feel the way his heart leapt slightly at it, although the feeling was quickly suppressed.

Her brow furrowed in response, "then it's a good job I'm not staying." She said, confused. She knew he was right, and she certainly didn't want to be on the opposing side of this war to him - she would feel as though she's betraying him. But it struck her as odd that he said that in the first place, as if he knew something she didn't.

"I wanted to rule the First Order with you at my side, not like this." He then added, and his tone tugged at her heartstrings. She wished she could have stayed for him, but it wasn't enough.

"I don't want to be part of this war." She breathed quietly.

"Maybe not, but the galaxy isn't done with you yet." He had a sad smile on his lips as he stepped forward to rest his hand against her cheek. His words were so cryptic, she wondered how he seemed to know what she was feeling before she knew it herself.

"I'm going back to Tatooine tomorrow." She adamantly repeated to him. He seemed to be talking to her as if she was suddenly a member of the Resistance just because she spent one night there.

"When we crush the Resistance, I promise I'll come back for you. Until then, just stay alive." He told her, leaning in to press a lingering kiss to her forehead.

Before she could respond his figure faded away, like a ghost. But her skin still tingled from where he had kissed her.

Had he been right? Did she want to stay here and just not realise it yet? But if that were true why had Kylo not been angry at her? She truly would be a traitor to the First Order if that were the case.

She couldn't stop these questions from flooding her mind, perhaps Kylo wasn't angry because he couldn't bring himself to be... But he _should_ be. She didn't want to fight for the Resistance, but she did want to fight to get back to Kylo.

She forced herself to brush these thoughts from her mind as she crawled into her cot to sleep. Tomorrow she would train Rey, and then go back to the Tatooine.

><><><><><><><><><

It still seemed strange to look in the mirror and see herself wearing a different outfit. Especially to see herself wearing her father's cloak and mother's necklace. Since the fall of the Jedi order, her future had never been certain, but growing up on Tatooine this was never what she had dreamt for herself, but that wasn't to say she was disappointed. She had lived a hell of a life so far.

Her thought process was interrupted when the blast door to her bunk flew open to reveal Rey, presumably ready for training.

"Good to know that people don't knock around here." Y/N muttered under her breath before turning to face Rey.

"Hi." Rey said, clearly unsure on how to approach the conversation. The last time they had seen each other, she had told her the truth about her heritage.

"You didn't tell anyone about Ren and I." She attempted to break the ice by pointing out the obvious. Her gaze quickly fell onto the scar tissue around Rey's shoulder, just visibly poking out from the corners of her top. She had inflicted that wound on her back on Starkiller Base when they had fought in the forest.

"I knew that you might turn back to the light. I thought it would make it easier for you to join the Resistance if people didn't know." Rey's words immediately made her grimace. She clipped both Saber hilts to her belt and followed her out of the bunk, presumably heading towards wherever she usually trained.

"As nice of a thought as that was, let's not get mixed up here. I haven't turned back to the light, and I'm _not_ joining the Resistance." She clarified as they walked, earning some confusion from Rey.

"Why would Leia ask you to train me if you're not a Jedi?"

"Because it's not all about Jedi or Sith, there's so much more to the Force than that." She explained. She could tell that Rey had become far more powerful since they had last met, Leia had clearly taught her well - she had only recently discovered that Leia had been trained by Luke herself.

"So what are you?" She asked. Clearly the ancient Jedi texts she had been studying didn't look into much outside of the light and dark side of the Force.

"That's what I'm trying to find out myself." Y/N sighed.

She wasn't going to train Rey in the dark side, that much didn't need to be said. But she could give her a different perspective perhaps, teach her how to balance herself when the dark side were to inevitably tempt her, as it did with many Jedi.

They eventually came to a clearing in the undergrowth, far from the main Resistance base. There was a space large enough for sparring, although she doubted Rey had many sparring partners.

"I usually run the training course every day, then I meditate." She explained, earning a small nod.

"Then why don't we see what you can do." She mused, "if you're going to stand a chance at surviving against Kylo you need to prove that you can hold your own against me." In her eyes that was simple maths since her and Ren were evenly matched. She dropped Obi Wan's cloak on the ground in preparation.

"I already fought Kylo Ren aboard Starkiller Base and won, and that was before I'd had any training." Rey defensively reminded her.

"I remember." A wry smirk crossed her lips, "but he was already injured. Then you came up against me, and how did that go for you?"

"Good point." Rey conceded.

When she drew Vader's hilt, she spotted the one which hung at Rey's waist. It had been Luke's, and Anakin's before that. It had even belonged to her briefly on Tatooine when she had frequently used it to train against her father.

The red blade erupted to life, and Rey mimicked the action and activated her Saber.

"You still use the Saber of the man who killed your father?" Rey asked, genuinely curious about her choice when she knew Obi Wan's hilt hung at her waist.

"There's more to it all than you think... more to it than I know." She said, knowing her response was cryptic. Yes, Vader had killed her father. But from what Anakin and Obi Wan had told her about her destiny in the Force, it seemed as though her father's sacrifice had been necessary.

And despite it all, she still held an affinity with Vader. He had been one of her only allies throughout her time with the Empire. He had taught her so much throughout those years.

When Rey just nodded in response Y/N motioned for her to attack her.

Since they had fought aboard Starkiller, she could see how much Rey had improved, but in her opinion there was always room for more. One thing she did notice was that Rey was quick to get frustrated. Every swing that she missed caused an exasperated grunt to escape her lips.

Eventually after sparring with her for a while and teaching her to hone in her skills, Y/N floored her.

"You're good, but you're holding back." She observed, reaching out a hand to help Rey to her feet once Vader's hilt was clipped back to her belt. "Something's wrong, what is it?"

"Nothing's wrong." Rey was quick to reply, and she was clearly hiding something. "Maybe I'm just not as good as you think I am." She was clearly trying to deflect.

"No, you're _better._ " She raised an eyebrow in response, pausing for a moment as she considered her next words. "I'm not expecting you to tell me what it is, or trust me, but I just might be saving your life." Y/N warned her.

"Why wouldn't I trust you?" Rey's brow furrowed.

"Why _would_ you trust me?" She grimaced in response. If Rey was going to trust everyone that easily, she was certain that would get her killed. But then again, Y/N's view was tainted by years of broken trust and stolen memories.

"Because you've changed, you're not Darth Andal anymore." Rey spoke as if it were obvious.

"Rey, it's not as simple as regaining my memories. Just because I left the First Order and changed my name, it doesn't make me a good person." She explained, beginning the walk back to the base.

She had done what Leia had asked of her and given Rey a training session. Now she was ready to go back to Tatooine... at least she thought she was. Whatever was holding Rey back was nagging her slightly. Since she had first met her on Starkiller Base she had sensed echoes of a familiar dark energy, but she still couldn't place where she recognised it from.

"But before you were Darth Andal you were a good person. I don't understand why that would change now?" Rey followed her through the undergrowth.

"Because I can't just pretend that those years of my life didn't happen. I was trained in the dark side of the Force, and I've done things that I'll have to live with for the rest of my life." She tried to explain it, but it wasn't something that many people would understand.

Giving up an identity didn't erase everything she had done, far from it in fact. Before, she was able to justify and stand by her actions because she knew no better, but now she had to live with a municipal of regrets.

She was irredeemable, that's what nobody seemed to understand.

"But now you have a choice, why would you not choose to be a Jedi again?" Rey truly couldn't comprehend it, and she was beginning to understand why Leia had enlisted her for training. Rey had a darkness within her, one which she blatantly feared, but perhaps with training from someone who embraced both light and dark Rey could find her own balance.

"Because I'm not a peacekeeper. I'm a warrior." She admitted as they arrived back at civilisation. "Where's Dameron? I need to leave."

"No, you can't leave." Rey zipped in front of her, blocking the path. "You belong here."

"No, I don't." She replied.

"Then where do you belong?" Rey pried, trying to do anything to have her stay. She desperately wanted the training to continue.

"Belonging isn't always about a place... It can be a person." She trailed off towards the end.

"You love him, don't you." Rey suddenly asked, catching her very off guard. Of course she had already known of the dyad and connection thanks to Luke, and she had seen it first hand, but until now nobody had ever known or asked her about the deeper emotion behind it all.

"I didn't leave him to be the one who fights him." She quietly responded, inadvertently answering the question as she pushed past to walk back into the base. Although she had no clue where she was going, she was just running from having to discuss her feelings.

"And if Kylo Ren keeps destroying worlds until eventually the First Order wins, what happens to you then? Will you go back to him?" Rey spoke aloud the scenario she didn't realise she had been fearing.

If the First Order won, she knew she still couldn't go back there. But that meant she would never be back with Kylo... and could she really live the rest of her life in unnecessary exile on Tatooine?

Despite not wanting to admit it aloud, she knew that she needed the Resistance to win. But that didn't mean she had to enlist to join them, there were other ways she could help.

"I'll stay one more night. Tomorrow I'll train you for the last time, and I'll teach you to stop holding back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're approaching the Rise of Skywalker plot now, and although there are many creative decisions in that movie I disagree with, I'm keeping the plot mostly the same... MOSTLY
> 
> I'm only going to make changes that will adapt it to the plot of this story, because imo my rewrite of how I would have liked that film to go is an entirely different fic - I just want this to slot into canon, whether I agree with canon or not.


	30. Chapter Thirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Multiple new developments lead Y/N to make a big decision.

"Kylo Ren." Darkness surrounded him, all he could hear was the eerie voice which summoned him.

He walked forwards, deeper into the dark. He had no Lightsaber, and nobody else with him.

"Find me, and together we can crush your enemies. You can take my throne, rule the galaxy as Emperor." This disembodied figure was voicing all of Kylo's inner desires: to rule the galaxy and have nobody able to contest him.

"Tell me what I have to do." He responded, his voicing echoing into the infinite darkness.

"Go to the Mustafar system, and locate the Sith Wayfinder. Then, come to Exegol in the Unknown Regions, an ancient world of the Sith. Find your way, Kylo Ren, and soon the galaxy will be yours." With those instructions, he was ripped from his vision.

Y/N awoke in a cold sweat, goosebumps had risen all over her skin just at the thought of the voice she had heard. A voice she would never be able to forget. A darkness was clouding her in the Force, one she hadn't felt since the Empire. Whatever this vision was, it was exactly that - not a dream, or an echo, it was _real._

_It's Palpatine._

She told Kylo. It had been his vision, but she wasn't certain that he knew who it was that had contacted him. She barely knew how Palpatine had contacted him considering she was certain that he had been dead.

It wasn't the same as when she had spoken to Obi Wan or Anakin, Palpatine had been telling Kylo to find him on Exegol, which in her opinion only further confirmed that he was alive.

_But he's dead._

Kylo voiced her exact thoughts.

_He must have survived._

She thought there was no logic to her words, but still feared that they were true.

_Then he'll be dead soon._

Without her presence in the First Order, she had felt that Kylo was far more in tune with the dark side, which had massively boosted his confidence as Supreme Leader. It was good for him, but the Emperor was in a totally different league to them both.

_No, Kylo listen to me, the best thing you can do is ignore him. He clearly needs you for something, and if you go there I'm sure he'll get it._

Her words may have not intended to come across as an insult, but Kylo took them as one.

_You think I'm weak enough to be manipulated by him?_

_Wake up Kylo, it's not about being weak. Palpatine took over the galaxy right under of the nose of the entire Jedi council. He managed to manipulate your grandfather... and me._

She hoped this would help him see sense. She had allowed Palpatine to torture her for years, never questioning why he did so, or why she had no memories - he had beaten her into submission.

When he didn't respond to her, she knew that she was fighting a losing battle. Palpatine was too clever to bring Kylo to him if he thought Ren was just going to kill him. There was ulterior motive, one which was still unknown, but just the thought of it made her skin crawl.

She had agreed to stay and train Rey for one more morning. But could she really abandon it all and go back to Tatooine knowing that Palpatine was still alive? The First Order and Resistance... that wasn't her war. But this, _Palpatine_ , this had been her war since the day Satine had been murdered. Without him, everything would have been different - every bad thing that had ever happened to her had either directly or indirectly been a result of his actions.

Had he not trained Darth Maul, her mother would still be alive. Had he not managed to overthrow the Jedi Order, her and her father wouldn't have had to go into exile, and had the Empire not risen to power, her memories would have never been stolen, and she wouldn't have been corrupted by the Sith.

It wasn't about fighting Kylo and the First Order, it was about ensuring that the Emperor didn't return.

As she had the day before, Rey appeared in her bunk to escort her to the clearing they used for training. Y/N didn't elect to mention anything about Kylo or Palpatine, but her own emotions were bubbling. She held a deep resentment towards the Emperor, and now there was an added frustration towards Kylo for not heeding her warning.

In order to train Rey she had to keep herself centred. Now it was more important than ever, because if it came down to it, she had to be able to beat Kylo.

She was worried that if they sparred she would lose control of herself, so she opted to run Rey through vigorous training drills before following her as she ran her training course. It was a well-designed course, and seemed like a good way to let off steam.

But towards the end of the session, training wasn't what was on her mind. Rey had the skills to go up against Kylo, but she could still sense that dark energy in her, and it was holding her back.

"Tell me where you're from." She prompted as they sat opposite each other, crosslegged on the ground.

"Jakku." Rey responded, calmly.

Y/N was trying to find out how deep this darkness went, and where it came from. What she was really curious about was could she bring it to the surface, and what effect would that have? She already knew much of Rey's background. The First Order had done extensive background checks on her when she had first surfaced.

As someone who harnessed both dark and light, she was the person who was best qualified to help Rey right now.

"Who did you live with? Parents, friends?"

"Just me." Now seeming slightly more uncomfortable discussing the topic.

Y/N said nothing, just raised an eyebrow to prompt her to expand on why it had just been her.

"My parents left when I was a child." Taking the hint, Rey expanded on her previous statement.

"So why are you here now? You didn't have to give up scavenging on Jakku to join the Resistance, what made you leave?" She pressed, sensing that she was getting somewhere.

"It was-" She paused, unable to find the right word.

"A feeling?" Y/N then interrupted and Rey slowly nodded. "And when you think about your parents abandoning you-"

"-they didn't abandon me." This time she interrupted, sharply.

"Didn't they? You're not a child anymore, perhaps it's time to move on." She knew she was being cruel and her tone reflected this, but she needed to unlock the anger that Rey so desperately pushed away in order to teach her this lesson.

"You're wrong." She adamantly said, through gritted teeth.

"It's time to accept it Rey, they were never going to come back for you. How does it make you feel, knowing you waited all of those years for nothing?" She didn't relent.

"It- I..." She stammered.

"That feeling, you know what it is. Stop being afraid of it, and tell me."

"I'm angry." Rey's voice was quiet when she admitted this, shaky even.

Anger manifested itself differently in different people. For those who embraced the dark side of the Force, anger came out as sheer power - such was true for both herself and Kylo. But in people like Rey, anger was something they feared, which meant they could easily lose control and let it consume them. Which was why she needed the training.

"There it is." Y/N finally let up her dark tone, "I needed you to feel it yourself. If you keep pushing that anger away, it'll consume you."

"I don't know how to stop it." Rey explained, her voice still hoarse, "I'm... _afraid_ of it."

"That's exactly why you can't stop it." She spoke softly now, "You're letting your fear control you."

"So what am I supposed to do? I've read Luke's Jedi texts, I know that anger is the path to the dark side." She had clearly been internalising this for so long, Y/N couldn't imagine the effect it'd had on her.

"Anger only leads to the dark when you use it." She began to explain, "everyone gets angry sometimes Rey, even the strongest Jedi, but it's how you process it that makes the difference. If you don't allow yourself to hate, you'll overcome your rage."

"Can you teach me?" They had already been at this for hours, which meant she really should have been back on Tatooine by now, but Kylo's vision was plaguing her mind. She couldn't let Palpatine come back, she wanted revenge for the misery he had caused her.

"Yes." She then told her. She was confident that Rey wouldn't turn to the dark, she was pure of heart and had the potential to be the Jedi she once dreamt of being.

Perhaps Y/N knew that she could never be a Jedi again, but that didn't mean she couldn't pass the mantle on to someone who truly was worthy of it.

She left Rey there to meditate in peace after that. She needed to go back to the base and talk to Leia about a slightly prolonged stay. Rey was Leia's student after all, and she would only train her with the princess' blessing.

Aside from that, she needed to address the darkness she sensed within Rey. Since the first time she had met her aboard Starkiller Base she had felt an energy which she recognised, and after Kylo's vision she feared she knew the truth.

As she marched to where she now knew Leia's office to be, she held her head high, despite the number of glances that were constantly thrown her way. She couldn't blame all of these Resistance fighters for being wary of her presence, she was sure that her reputation preceded her. The fact that they even trusted her to walk freely around the base still baffled her, she may not have been a First Order general anymore, but she sure as hell wasn't a 'good' person.

Just before she could walk into Leia's office, Poe, Finn and Chewie all emerged, and she paused when Poe stopped to talk to her.

"I know I said I'd take you back to Tatooine today, but we have a mission. I promise I'll take you as soon as I'm back." He looked regretful, and she elected not to tell him that she had actually decided to stay for longer anyway.

"Mission?" Was all she said, raising an eyebrow. It was really none of her business, but she just couldn't help but be nosy. Having been on the other side of the war, it was interesting to finally learn what the Resistance's movements were.

"That First Order mole, the one who told us where to find you, they've sent another message. We're going to pick it up." Finn said, followed by a roar from Chewie.

She knew it had to be Hux. Perhaps Kylo's behaviour had become erratic, or perhaps he was informing them that he was looking for this mysterious 'Wayfinder' that Palpatine had mentioned in the vision. Either way, he was putting himself in danger to ensure Kylo's demise, so the situation must have been dire.

"You wouldn't happen to have any idea who it is, would you?" Poe questioned her.

An innocent smile rose on her lips, "I have no clue. But good luck." She said, excusing herself so the three of them could head off on their mission.

She would protect Hux until the end. He wasn't necessarily a bad person, he was just mislead - in her opinion at least. He didn't revel in violence, he just revelled in winning. Which was made plainly obvious by his new position as a mole, he just wanted Kylo to lose.

"Princess?" She poked her head through the blast doors, and Leia just looked at her with her lips pursed.

" _General._ " She corrected for probably the tenth time.

"Still a princess to me." Y/N grinned as she sat down. To her, Leia was still the young girl they had rescued from Vader aboard the Death Star.

"How did Rey's training go?" Leia then diverted the conversation, motioning for her to sit.

"That's actually what I wanted to ask you about..." She took a deep breath, unable to believe she was actually saying this, "I want to stay. Not to help you defeat the First Order, but to help Rey. That darkness in her, she needs to learn how to suppress it without letting it consume her."

"So you did sense it." Leia leaned back in her seat, a look of contemplation crossing her face.

"Yes, and I fear that I recognise it... please tell me I'm wrong."

"I can't." Leia gave a regretful sigh, "but we can't tell her, she's better off not knowing."

"Leia-" she paused, deciding whether or not to mention Palpatine. But she thought until she managed to talk to Kylo it was no good worrying her. Perhaps there was still a chance that she could make him change his mind about going to find the Emperor. "-I sense something coming, something dark. If she's got Palpatine blood, it could be dangerous for her."

"Y/N, what's coming? Please, tell me." Leia's brow furrowed.

"I don't know yet. But Rey needs to learn how to control her darkness, and with your blessing I'd like to teach her." She was stretching the truth a bit there. If Palpatine found out that he had a living relative, she could be in serious danger. "I won't pass on any of Vader's teachings, only my father's." She assured Leia.

"You're in a better position to teach her about this than I am. But what's changed? You were so adamant on returning to Tatooine. There must be more to it than one vision." To think that Leia wouldn't see beyond her lies was foolish, the general was sharper than ever.

"It's your son." She still didn't want to fully reveal the truth, but she was willing to tell her bits of it.

"Ben? Is he in danger?"

The name Ben was strangely still one she associated with her father. Perhaps the fact that Leia named him after her father was just another sign from the Force.

"I don't know." Her voice cracked, the worry she felt for Kylo now overwhelming her slightly. She knew how manipulative and savage Palpatine really could be, and to put Kylo in those crosshairs truly scared her.

That news hit Leia hard, understandably. Her son had been in danger thanks to Snoke, and now again.

"You're the only person who can get through to him now." Leia said, reaching across the table to take one of her hands. "I trust you."

"A few days ago I was your enemy - how can you suddenly trust me now?" She still spoke quietly, wondering how she could be entrusted with Leia's own son when, in her opinion, the princess had no reason to trust her.

"Because I always did. What happened to you on the Death Star was never your fault, and you can't keep blaming yourself for everything you did after that." This was the first time she had spoken to anyone about the guilt she was carrying with her. Leia knew just how many atrocious things she had done, but she still sat here and didn't judge her for it.

"Thank you." Was all she could think to say.

"You can stay as long as you need, and any help with Rey's training is appreciated more than you know." Leia then added, giving her a warm smile.

Y/N then was quick to excuse herself. She could feel Kylo's rage rippling through the Force, she could only assume that she was too late, and he had gone to Mustafar to acquire the Wayfinder Palpatine had spoken of. Perhaps by now he had already found Exegol...

She went to her bunk, thinking that may be the only place she could guarantee privacy.

_Kylo._

She reached out to him, but received no response.

_Kylo, I know you can hear me. Did you do it? Did you find Palpatine?_

_Yes, I found him._

_And did you kill him?_

It was a stupid question, because she knew that there was no way Palpatine would have let Kylo go to Exegol just to kill him.

_Tell me where the Resistance base is._

He then dramatically changed the subject.

_I told you, I don't know._

"Then find out, and tell me." This time when he manifested in front of her, she was less surprised to see him. Plus the energy between them was different - she feared that Palpatine had already corrupted him.

"No." She firmly said as she approached him, "he's inside your head, you don't want this."

"You're right, I wanted you by my side. But instead you now serve my enemies." His tone was bitter, and full of resent. She couldn't deny that his words cut her slightly.

"That's not fair, I didn't leave you to join the Resistance and that's still true now." She exhaled a heavy sigh.

"Then _why_ are you still there? And don't lie to me, I know you didn't leave." He snarled, and suddenly she felt as though she had been transported back all of those months when they would just constantly be at each others throats. That familiar anger bubbled within her.

"Because Palpatine needs to be stopped, and it doesn't seem like you're going to do it, so I have to." She narrowed her eyes at him, already sensing herself losing him. It was no fault of his own, Palpatine was a malicious being, he was capable of manipulating almost anyone.

She wondered if Palpatine even knew she was alive. If he didn't, it could put her in a good position... provided Kylo didn't tell him.

"I will take his place and rule the galaxy." Kylo said in a low tone, "But first, Rey must die."

That caught her attention, but she didn't say anything for fear of exposing Rey's true parentage to him. Perhaps he already knew... which would mean Palpatine knew.

"You're being naive Kylo, this doesn't end with Rey. He'll want both of us dead if he thinks we'll stand in his way." She was exasperated already. Surely Palpatine must have been grooming Kylo to do his bidding for longer than she had known, there was no way he would have turned on her so easily without the Emperor's meddling.

"Me, naive?" He let out a dry laugh, "you've joined the very organisation you were helping me destroy not long ago. You can't even see why I'm doing this."

"Why _you're_ doing this? You don't even think for a minute that I haven't actually joined the Resistance - I just need them to get me to Palpatine!" She argued with him. "I couldn't do any good sitting on Tatooine."

"We can kill him together, and rule together!" Kylo urged, his voice full of passion.

"He's lying to you Kylo, he doesn't want Rey dead."

"If you knew what I knew you would understand."

"Kylo you don't know the full truth, you can't kill her."

"If we kill her, only Palpatine will stand in our way."

"Palpatine will never let you rule!"

They argued back and fourth, speaking over each other and making them unable to even hear the other as they both tried to explain their actions.

"Can't you see I'm doing this for you?" They suddenly both exclaimed in unison.

For two people sharing a life-force, their lack of communication was outstanding.

At those words they both immediately looked away from each other, processing that they somehow had the same intentions and goal, just with different methods. Any rage they had been directing towards each other had dissipated.

They desperately wanted to be together, but there was too much standing in their way. For now they both had to stay on their own paths and hope that the roads would eventually conjoin.

When they looked back at each other, both of their gazes were rich with emotion.

"I guess I'll race you to the finish." She gave him a sad smile, trying to lighten the mood however she could.

"Just promise me you'll stay alive until then." He matched her expression, reaching a hand out to briefly stroke her cheek.

"You too. Remember, only I'm allowed to kill you." She quipped, reminding him of what she had said all those months ago aboard Starkiller Base.

He faded after that, leaving her alone once again, now full of confusion, rage, and sadness.

She needed an outlet for her emotions. The same way she used to utilise the training facility back with the First Order - only now she had no training facility, no Knights of Ren to spar with, no Kylo to give her a real challenge.

Rey had shown her the training course, perhaps that would have to do. As she walked through the base she spotted Rey and Leia talking, the Saber that had once been Anakin's being passed from student to master. Evidently Rey had just finished running the course herself.

When she reached the starting point, she dropped her cloak and took off running through the undergrowth. She drew Vader's Saber as she ran, and soon came to a large branch strewn across a gap in the land. Beside it there was a helmet with an attached blast shield - this was an exercise she recognised well.

A smirk formed on her lips as she pulled the helmet over her head and lowered the blast shield to restrict her vision. On cue, the training remote came flying in from behind her as she blindly made her way across the make-shift bridge, using the Force as her only guide.

On Tatooine, Obi Wan had made her practise her focus with the training remote almost daily, this was just like acting on reflex.

_"Focus young one, let the Force guide you and let everything else go."_

She recalled his teachings as she walked backwards, allowing her instincts to tell her where to place her feet in order to not fall, whilst still deflecting every small bolt that the training remote shot out. She soon drew Obi Wan's Saber to hold in her second hand, swinging both in tandem to deflect the bolts.

Once she was clear and back on ground she removed the helmet and took off running again. She soon came to a large tree where there was a red strip of fabric hanging from a high branch.

She sheathed Vader's Saber, and in one giant bound sliced the fabric in half using Obi Wan's blade, landing safely with her half of the red fabric clutched in her hand. She ran again, leaping across a gap she was faced with.

Upon landing, another training remote surfaced. She swapped her Saber to use reverse grip and swiftly sliced it in half. She briefly glanced at another training remote, still smoking from where it had been stabbed up against a tree - clearly Rey's work.

The course didn't provide as much of a challenge as she'd hoped, but it did give her a good way to let off some steam. She reached the end swiftly, tying the red fabric to the post that was there, adding a collection that Rey had clearly been building.

Once she had collected her cloak, she made her way back to the base as night was falling, but found a large number of people gathered just outside of the control room. In the middle she could see Poe, Finn, Rey and Leia.

It was really none of her business, but she couldn't help but move to listen in. Perhaps they had news of Kylo - Finn and Poe had gone with Chewie to gather Hux's intel, which was likely what they were discussing now.

"-do we believe this?" as she approached the first voice she heard was from a young woman she hadn't officially met yet, but then again she hadn't made an effort to meet many people since coming to the base.

"Dark silence, cloning... Secrets only the Sith knew." A second voice chimed in, now becoming louder as she joined the crowd.

"It cannot be. The Emperor is dead." A third voice this time, and her stomach sank at those words.

"No, he isn't." The words tumbled from her lips before she could stop herself from confirming the chilling truth.

Suddenly all eyes were on her, and many people looked at her as though she was a traitor amongst them, and honestly she couldn't blame them.

"How would you know? We've only just received this information ourselves." An officer sneered at her, and she drew a blank. How exactly was she supposed to explain that without making herself look like the enemy?

"The Force." Rey spoke before she did, "Y/N spent years alongside Palpatine, it's no surprise that the Force would alert her to his presence now."

She looked at Rey, gratitude showing in her eyes. Everyone else seemed to accept her word and turn their focus away from the ex-Sith apprentice.

"The Emperor and his fleet have been hiding in the Unknown Regions, on a world called Exegol." Poe then continued, but he was saying nothing she didn't already know.

There was a fire burning in her chest now, one which she knew would only be extinguished with Palpatine's death. She owed to herself, and to Anakin to kill him, and if she had to join the Resistance to do it, she would.

The moment she separated herself from the crowd for some self-reflection, Leia and Rey both pursued her.

"Y/N." Leia called her, and she ground to a halt.

"I'll join." She firmly said, turning to the general. "You'll need my help, and I want to see Palpatine dead more than anyone, believe me." None of them knew what the Emperor had put her through in the past, but her determination spoke for itself.

Rey and Leia exchanged a surprised glance, the former speaking first. "Did you know about this?"

"Kylo-" she paused, inhaling a deep breath, "-he had visions of Palpatine, telling him to go to Exegol. I saw them myself, and now I fear he's been corrupted in the same way both Anakin and I were."

At the mention of her father's name, Leia's face flashed with recognition before she spoke.

"Welcome to the Resistance."


	31. Chapter Thirty One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The search for another Sith Wayfinder takes the Resistance (with Y/N in tow) to The Forbidden Desert of Pasaana. But unfortunately, Kylo is hot on their trail.

It turned out that Luke had been looking for Exegol long before any of them knew about it. Rey found his old notes on the wayfinders and the legends of the ancient world.

In amongst Luke's old belongings, Y/N had spotted something that nobody else seemingly recognised.

"Can I have this?" She had asked Rey, who just looked confused and agreed, not knowing why a small mechanical part was relevant.

After being directed to where she might find a workbench, she attached the part to the pommel of Vader's hilt. Obi Wan had taught her plenty about Lightsabers, but Vader had later taught her how to assemble her own - she had seen a few Lightsaber couplers in her time, but not one like this. This one had a quick release mechanism attached, which meant when she attached Vader's hilt to Obi Wan's to create a Saber staff, she could easily detach them again with a simple twist motion.

She admired her handiwork, red and blue blades now joined in the centre, before attaching the extended hilt back to her belt. Now she could carry both Vader and Obi Wan with her in one blade.

Whilst she had been building her Saber, Rey had been insisting to Leia that she would go and find Exegol with or without her blessing, and the general had eventually instructed Y/N to accompany Rey whether she wanted the company or not. If Palpatine was involved, they had to protect her from the truth about her heritage for as long as they could.

Despite her apprehensions concerning Kylo being able to use her to discover what the Resistance was doing, she knew she was doing the right thing by going, and as she approached Rey by the Falcon she could also see Finn, Chewie and Poe. They were in the midst of conversation, no doubt Rey was insisting that they can't accompany them.

"Yeah, alone with an ex-Jedi _and_ friends." Finn firmly told her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Y/N laughed under her breath at 'ex-Jedi,' she would take that over some of the other things she was sure people in the Resistance called her behind her back.

"It's too dangerous Finn." Rey responded, shaking her head.

"Are we ready?" She interrupted, all of their eyes briefly turning to her.

"Yes." Rey said, trying to walk past the men, but Finn grabbed her arm to stop her.

"We go together." He insisted, and she finally conceded.

The group of them were then joined by BB-8 and C-3PO before boarding the Falcon.

"Oh Mistress Y/N, it is _so_ good to see you again!" 3PO began babbling as the boarding ramp closed behind them, "when must I have last seen you?" He pondered, searching his memory banks.

"Ah yes, it must have been on Bespin when you and Darth Vader set a trap for us and interrogated Master Solo before freezing him in carbonite! So much has happened since then, but do you remember Bespin? It truly was a horrible ordeal-"

She eventually raised her hand to stop him from talking before he reminded everyone of every terrible act she had committed for the Empire, "don't worry Threepio, I was there... I remember." She assured him with a grimace on her lips.

"Oh quite right Mistress Y/N, but perhaps I can fill you in on everything that happened after that!" The droid exclaimed, and in all those years he hadn't lost his optimism.

"I think she knows, Threepio." Finn awkwardly shuffled the droid aside to give her some space.

"Good to know that he hasn't changed." She gave a small smirk.

"Yeah, we still can't find the off switch." Finn teased, and C-3PO immediately turned to him.

"You know I can still hear you, Sir."

"Yeah, I know." He then grinned at the droid, before turning back to her. "So where exactly are we going?"

"The Forbidden Desert of Pasaana. Apparently that's where Luke's search for the wayfinder ended." She was concerned that Kylo had found perhaps the one and only wayfinder. How were they supposed to know that there was more than one? This search could just be leading them straight to Mustafar.

"As long as we stay under the First Order's radar, we'll be fine." Finn nodded confidently, and she just remained silent.

In theory she was a huge liability on this mission due to her connection with Kylo. She had been able to keep him away from the Resistance base by not allowing herself to know where she was, but now she knew exactly where she was going. She could only hope that it wouldn't jeopardise them all.

Poe, Rey and Chewie were all in the cockpit, leaving her and Finn to exchange small talk for a bit longer. She managed to confirm her suspicions about a romance bubbling between him and Poe, whilst he just asked her questions about the First Order. They swapped stories, but steered away from any topic that might cause them to disagree.

"I remember you and Ren oversaw our training one day. You looked like you wanted to kill him." He reminded her of the session they had both overseen just before they had gone to interrogate Del Meeko together - tensions had been high between them that day.

"Chances are I did." She rolled her eyes, and this time it wasn't even a lie. That had been long before anything romantic had happened between them.

"Do you really think he could turn back to the light? Rey said something about it, but you must know as well as I do that he's barely human anymore." Finn's words made her want to tell him the truth about everything, because there was so much more to Kylo than just the monster most people saw. But she bit her tongue, knowing that such a revelation could seriously sour his opinion of her.

"There's more to him than you think." Was all she said, "there was a time when I was further rooted in the dark than he was, so anything's possible." She truly wanted to believe her own words.

For her it wasn't necessarily about Kylo turning back to the light and becoming Ben Solo again. She still refused to fully embrace the light herself, she just wanted him to do what made him happy. Hopefully somewhere in that happiness she would have a place.

"Strap in guys, we're coming out of hyper-space." Poe's voice informed them through the comm, and they both did as they were told and prepared to land.

When they did land, the group of them stepped out onto the sandy terrain. When they began walking it became immediately clear that both Rey and Y/N were more comfortable trekking through sand than any of the others.

"Is that music?" Y/N questioned as they walked over a dune. Her question was soon answered when they laid eyes on a massive festival taking place.

"What is this?" Poe then asked.

"The Acky Acky Festival of the Ancestors, this celebration occurs only once every 42 years." Threepio explained.

"Well that's lucky." Finn commented, the sarcasm evident in his tone.

"Lucky, indeed! This festival is known for both its colourful kites.... and its delectable sweets." Clearly not assessing Finn's tone, the droid continued his explanation.

Everyone turned to give him a look which read 'shut up,' but not grasping that either, he just also turned around to see if anyone was behind him.

As they delved into the festival, she was tuning out any conversation as she scanned around for stormtroopers.

"Keep an eye out, there's no way the First Order won't have troops patrolling around a place like this." She told the others, and Poe echoed her words.

"Heads down, Chewie." He singled out of the wookie since he towered over them all. Blending wasn't his speciality. "Let's split up, see what the locals know." He then added, and they all did as told.

She decided to tag along with Rey and Threepio, knowing full well that Kylo could appear at any moment and either try to kill her, reveal her heritage to her, or both.

"I've never seen anything like this." Rey commented to her, and she hummed in agreement.

They saw a group of young aliens - neither of them recognised the species. They were gathered around listening to a story told by an older alien. One soon branched off and approached the two women.

The young alien said something neither of them could translate, but that was where Threepio's presence came in handy.

"She is saying 'welcome.'" He told them.

The young girl then reached up with a necklace for one of them to wear, and she glanced at Rey to be the one to wear it.

"Her name is Nambi Ghima." The droid then translated.

Nambi placed the necklace around Rey's neck, and she then stood back up.

"That's a lovely name. I'm Rey, and this is Y/N Kenobi." She responded with a warm smile.

"She would be honoured to know your family name too."

There was a pause then. Both women felt uncomfortable but for different reasons. Rey because she didn't know her family name, and Y/N because she did know.

"I don't have one. I'm just Rey." She eventually responded.

Y/N could feel something as they spoke, and eventually all of the chatter and music died down. She knew it was him.

Turning around, Kylo was stood there. He was wearing his old helmet, vibrant red lines running across it from where it had evidently been melded back together. It had been so long since she had seen him wear it, and only now did she realise just how much she hated that damn helmet.

"A gift from the Emperor?" She snidely asked him, nodding at the helmet.

"Perhaps." He responded, his voice coming out with the mechanical distortion, just as it had when she had first met him in the Starkiller med-bay.

"Does Palpatine know I'm alive?" She asked him the question playing on her mind. Despite everything, she still feared the old Emperor - it was like a reflex, after everything he had put her through she found it hard to not fear him.

"I don't know." He answered, honestly. "I didn't tell him about you, and he didn't mention you. He just wants Rey dead."

She was relieved to hear that Kylo hadn't said anything, but equally that still didn't mean Palpatine wasn't aware that she was still alive... It was more likely that he was simply biding his time.

"He doesn't want her dead Kylo." She told him yet again, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. Could they really have the same argument again?

"You know about her, don't you." He then said, and she knew exactly what he was referring to.

"I do, and I won't let you corrupt her. She deserves better." Before Kylo could speak again they both felt something neither of them had ever experienced. It felt as if someone was invading their connection.

Just as this feeling rose, she felt a hand on her shoulder - namely Rey's. Somehow this gesture had invited Rey to look into their mental bond, just as she once had aboard Starkiller Base. Although this was on a much larger scale.

"Y/N are you-" She froze when she saw him. "Ren. Serving another master?" She looked at him in disbelief, and then to Y/N. She realised that their physical connection had brought her here, and kept her hand firmly planted on Y/N's shoulder.

As much as she appreciated Rey's comment about serving a master, she was desperate to keep her away from Kylo. But equally she didn't want to make herself look like she was hiding something. Rey was the last hope for the survival of the Jedi Order, and she owed it to her father and Anakin to at do her best to protect her from the dark side.

Kylo was quick to pick up on her intentions to protect Rey from him through their bond, and jumped in before she could stop him.

"Do you still count the day since your parents left you, Rey?" His cutting words immediately had Rey's full attention.

" _Enough,_ Kylo." Y/N sharply interrupted, but to no avail.

"Palpatine wants you dead, and I know why." He taunted her, slowly walking towards them both.

"Tell me." Rey's grip on her shoulder involuntarily tightened at Kylo's words.

"How about I come and tell you in person?" He lashed out then, in one swift motion ripping the necklace from around Rey's neck.

"No!" Y/N yelled, desperately reaching out to stop him, but it was too late. Kylo disappeared, and the sounds of the festival around them.

"How was that possible?" Rey looked at her, confusion and worry plastered all over her face.

"I'll explain later," she grimaced, "but now we need to get out of here."

They both took off running, Threepio trailing behind them, and they didn't stop until they were reunited with Finn, Poe, Chewie and BB-8.

"We need to get back to the Falcon." She stressed, slightly out of breath.

"Why?" Finn's brow furrowed.

"It's Ren." Rey then said, solemnly.

"How could he possibly know we're here? None of us have seen any troopers." Poe ran a frustrated hand through his hair, and Chewie echoed his sentiment with a roar of agreement.

"It's me." She finally admitted, guilt washing over her like a tidal wave, "it's my fault, I shouldn't have come here."

"What are you talking about?" Finn said, still taking a route of sympathy towards her rather than any anger.

"Ren and I... we're connected." She finally came clean, "he found us through me." It was the most basic explanation she could offer in that moment.

"Y-you're _what?"_ Poe exclaimed, not believing his ears. But there was no time to argue.

"Freeze, hold it right there!" A lone stormtrooper jabbed his blaster at the group of them, and they all exchanged a glance, "I've located the Resistance fugitives, General Andal's with them. All units, report." He spoke into his comm... it was nice to know that some people at least still called her 'general.'

Before any of them could react, a blaster bolt hit the trooper in his chest, and he fell to the ground.

A large rolling transport revealed a masked figure who yelled to them, "Follow me, hurry. Leia sent a transmission."

They all had very little choice but to go with this stranger who had saved them, so that's exactly what they did. They crammed into the moving transport, just in time as they saw more troopers filling the area.

"How did you find us?" Finn asked, and the man pulled his helmet away to reveal... a familiar face.

"Wookies are easy to spot in a crowd!" Lando grinned widely at Chewie who let out a roar of excitement.

"It's good to see you too old buddy." Lando responded to Chewie.

"This is General Lando Calrissian." C-3PO took it upon himself to introduce him to the group.

She was desperately trying to hide herself behind the others, knowing that the last time she had seen Lando things had been very different. Unlike Leia, Luke or Han, he had never known her before - in fact the first and only time they met, she had been complicit in double crossing him.

"We know who he is, Threepio." Rey awkward responded.

"Wait a minute-" Lando stood up and stared directly at her.

"Excellent." She sarcastically sighed under her breath before looking up with a sheepish grin, "Lando, it's been a minute."

"Last time I saw you, you were double crossing me." He jabbed a finger towards her, and she was about to open her mouth to defend herself but he spoke again first, "and you haven't aged a _day,_ how do you do it?" He suddenly teased her, breaking into a wide grin and pulling her into a hug.

"Wha-" she was taken by surprise and awkwardly patted him on the back. She never had been much of a hugger.

When they moved back she spoke again, "and here I thought you held grudges." She teased.

"Never against beautiful women." He then quipped.

"I may not have aged Calrissian, but you have." She reminded him, smirking.

"As lovely as this reunion is General, we're looking for Exegol." Poe interjected.

"Of course you are... only two were made." His expression dropped as they went back to business.

"A Sith Wayfinder." Rey quietly confirmed, and internally Y/N was relieved to know that Kylo hadn't found the only one.

Lando explained to them that him and Luke had been in search of someone named Ochi of Bestoon who had been carrying a clue which would lead to a wayfinder. He told them that Ochi's ship was still out past Lurch Canyon.

"Leia needs pilots, General." Rey said as they were leaving.

"My flying days are long gone, but do me a favour, give Leia my love." He softly responded.

"You should give it to her yourself. Thank you." She responded before dipping out of the transport behind the others.

"Take care of yourself, Lando." As the last one there, Y/N had the final word.

"You too. I'm just sorry it took this long to get you back." He replied with a sad smile.

With a small nod she followed the others back out onto the terrain where Poe was hot-wiring a pair of speeders for them.

"We need to go." She hastily told them as she spotted a nearby stormtrooper.

Once the speeders were up and running she boarded one with Rey, Chewie and BB-8 and Rey sent them hurtling off through the sand. But as they were leaving the troopers spotted them, no doubt ready to pursue them.

As they sped towards their destination, four troopers pursued them on two speeders. But soon the speeders launched two of the troopers into the air.

On the speeder across from them she could see Finn and Poe remarking on flying troopers... it certainly wasn't something she had seen the First Order do before. At this the group of them split up, one First Order speeder following each of them through the canyon they were driving through.

Chewie began firing back whilst she drew her Saber, only activating Vader's hilt, leaving herself with the single red blade.

He roared at her, and she turned to him whilst she deflected blaster bolts.

" _Really,_ Chewie? I don't think now is the right time to talk about Kylo." She huffed, spotting the men on the other speeder also begin to fire back at their pursuers.

He roared again to respond to her.

"It's not that simple! You can't just turn this connection off, it's more than that."

Chewie asked her something then which seemed to be the only question on many people's lips when they found out about her connection with Kylo Ren.

Before she replied, she activated the other half of her staff and separated the blades into two Sabers. She then threw Obi Wan's Saber through the air, and it sliced through one of the flying troopers before returning to her hand.

"I don't know if I can bring Ben Solo back... I told Leia I just wanted to him to be happy, and I stand by that." She relaxed her stance for a moment and turned her attention to Chewie.

Then then got distracted by BB-8 sending a coloured smoke canister into the air, which frazzled the trooper on the speeder, long enough for Rey to harshly spin them around and fire her blaster. The vehicle quickly exploded.

As they emerged from the canyon, they could see that Finn and Poe had dealt with their own pursuing speeder, leaving them with one trooper flying through the air.

"Ochi's ship!" Rey exclaimed as she spotted it in the distance, "I've seen that ship before." She then spoke under her breath.

"Rey!" Poe yelled from their speeder, but his next words were cut off as the remaining trooper fired and sent all of them flying through the air, vehicles in flames.

They all landed in a heap and groaned in pain, but immediately they fired back on the trooper who didn't last long after that.

She noticed it quickly... a sinking feeling. Not metaphorically, literally she felt like she was sinking.

"What the hell is this?" Poe expressed her exact thoughts, as they all began sinking through the ground.

"Sinking fields! Try to grab something!" Rey hastily said, clearly panicked, as were the rest of them.

All of them began scrambling to find something to grab onto, but all that surrounded them was desert - it was hopeless.

"I did not survive this long to be killed by quicksand, are you kidding me?" She frustratedly yelled - this surely couldn't be how her life would end after all of that.

She was one of the first to be swallowed, but as the daylight disappeared she could vaguely hear Finn yelling something at Rey...

If this was going to be her final moment, she decided to at least let her mind be somewhere else. She remembered being with Kylo on Coruscant, how she had agreed to stay with him, the way his lips had felt against hers... that had been her final night with him, they had both been so happy to just be together.

Just as their world had come tumbling down after that evening, she went tumbling down below the surface of the quicksand and hit the ground with a huge thud.

"So not dead." She groaned, rolling onto her side to rub the spot on her back.

In the distance she heard an echoing yell, followed by another thud sound.

 _"Ow!"_ She heard a voice that she distinctly recognised as Poe's, and stumbled to her feet to race towards him.

"Poe?" She called, eventually running headfirst into him.

"You okay?" He asked as they simultaneously gripped each other's shoulders.

"Yeah, still in one piece, what about you?" She knew that there was the underlying tension about her and Kylo's connection, and she didn't doubt that at some point they'd address it, but for now they were both just happy to be alive.

"You hear that?" She whispered, listening to the distant chatter.

"Yeah, come on." He patted her shoulder and led the way towards the voices.

"When you were sinking in the sand, you said: 'I never told you.'" She could now recognise it as Rey's voice.

"I'll tell you later." Finn muttered.

"You mean when Poe's not here?" He interjected as they both rejoined the pack. Chewie, C-3PO and BB-8 also appearing from an adjacent tunnel.

"Yeah. Mhmm." Finn rolled his eyes, playfully elbowing Poe.

"We're gonna die in sand burrows and we're all keeping secrets?" Poe pressed.

"Yeah, well I'm just following Y/N's example." Finn commented as they moved through the cave.

"Low blow... but fair." She grumbled with a sigh as Poe was switching on a torch.

"Focus." Rey pulled their attention back, before drawing her Saber to offer some light.

Once Y/N also drew her double-ended blade, Poe's torch was rendered all but useless. They then began to trek through the tunnels.

"Were you ever going to tell us about this 'connection' you have with Ren?" Finn loudly whispered to her, everyone could easily overhear.

"And more to the point, what is the connection?" Demonstrating how loud Finn's whisper had been, Poe interjected.

She didn't know how to describe it without seeming as though she had been betraying them this entire time. Thankfully, Rey stepped in on her behalf.

"They're a dyad in the Force - two that are one. Luke told me." She explained, much to everyone's disbelief.

"You knew?" Poe spluttered.

"And didn't think to tell us?" Finn then echoed.

"I am still here." She awkwardly mumbled, feeling as though they were talking about her like she wasn't there. "Rey had her reasons for not telling you, and so did I."

"You told me that you wanted each other dead." Finn pointed out.

"Trust me, we did. But things inevitably changed when I couldn't even dream without him seeing it." She had a slightly bitter note in her tone. She knew she wasn't in a position to be snapping at any of them considering she had lied, but equally it was just her reflex to respond to situations like these with hostility.

"And what about now? Are you loyal to him, or to us?" Poe asked. She understood the 'them or us' mentality, but it just didn't apply to her. She wasn't really even loyal to the Resistance, she just needed them to get her to Palpatine.

"All you need to know is that I'm not loyal to the First Order, and I want Palpatine dead." She solemnly said.

Saved by the bell, Rey spotted something crashed into the sand through a clearing in the caves. "Is that a speeder?" She said.

"What?" Finn followed as they crowded the wreckage, "an old one."

"That's a hex charm." She said when she spotted the emblem at the head of the speeder.

"And what's that when it's at home?" Finn asked as she brought her Saber closer to offer more light.

"It's an emblem used amongst Sith loyalists. I remember seeing it when Vader made me study Palpatine's Sith texts." She explained.

"Mistress Y/N is quite right." Threepio then echoed.

"This was Ochi's?" Finn questioned.

"Luke sensed it, Ochi never left this place." Rey then pieced it together.

"And he ended up down here." Finn then completed her sentence.

"He was headed for his ship." Poe said, remembering that they had seen his abandoned ship above ground. "Same thing happened to us, happened to him."

"So how did Ochi get out?" Finn asked.

Y/N's eyes were drawn to where Rey was looking, and the answer was laying there on the ground. "He didn't..." she said.

Chewie let out a groan at the sight of the bones laying on the floor, evidently they had once been Ochi.

"Bones, I don't like bones." Poe shivered.

BB-8 chirped to get Rey's attention.

"Yeah I see it." She quietly replied, crouching in the sand by Ochi's bones.

BB-8 removed the top layer of sand to reveal a dagger buried there, and when Rey picked it up she froze for just a moment, and there was an evident dip in the Force. She must have had a vision.

"Horrible things have happened with this." She whispered as she held the blade.

"There's writing on it." Poe spotted, and Y/N glanced over his shoulder.

"Perhaps I can translate." C-3PO took ahold of the dagger and inspected it. "Oh! The location of the wayfinder, has been inscribed upon this dagger. It's the clue that Master Luke was looking for." He informed them, much to their relief.

"And?" Poe pressed.

"Where's the wayfinder?" Finn then echoed.

"I am afraid I cannot tell you." Threepio informed them, very matter of factly but it was only met with confusion.

"20.3 fazillion languages, and you can't read that?" Poe snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, I have read it, Sir. I know exactly where the wayfinder is, but unfortunately it is written in the runic language of the Sith."

"So what?" Rey questioned.

"My programming forbids me from translating it." The droid then regretfully informed, and all eyes turned to her. As he saw where all their gazes were pointed, Threepio simply handed her the dagger, assuming she could do something useful.

"Translating Sith has been banned for years." She plainly said, Vader had taught her that. "I recognise some of the inscribing but don't know what it means." She admitted, "the Sith texts didn't cover this."

"Mistress Y/N is quite right, I believe the rule was passed by the Senate of the Old Republic-" before anyone could interrupt Threepio's lecture, a giant creature came slithering through the caves... judging by its colossal size it must have been the beast that had created the caverns in the first place.

"Serpent! Serpent! Serpent!" C-3PO cried out as he ran in panicked circles.

She immediately raised her Saber, preparing to slice the serpent in half if she had to. Perhaps that would at least show them a way out.

They were all huddled mere feet away from the creature, but without warning Rey began to approach it, handing Finn her Lightsaber.

"Rey." Finn warned quietly.

The creature snarled as she approached.

"I'm gonna blast it." Poe decided, beginning to raise his weapon, but Y/N slowly pushed it back down. She needed to see how this was going to play out.

"Don't blast it." Finn then hissed at him.

Rey was nervous, that much was obvious. But nevertheless she crouched and placed her hand against the serpent's body. Y/N could sense a wound there.

She could feel the transfer of life through the Force - a process that she had only ever felt the other way around. On countless occasions she had felt, and witnessed, Palpatine draining the life from other beings to strengthen himself - perhaps it was a skill Rey possessed due to her bloodline, but this was never a way she had never seen it used.

Clearly content with its freshly healed body, the creature slithered away, moving to reveal a crack of sunlight behind it from where it had been blocking the exit. It was letting them go in exchange for Rey saving its life. With the threat now gone, and light visible again she clipped her Saber back to her belt.

"I just transferred a bit of life. Force energy from me to him." Rey explained, but Y/N was too lost in her own thoughts to respond.

Perhaps Rey's use of this power derived from Palpatine, and it was a skill much better used for healing rather than stealing... but she knew she had shared Force energy before too.

On Starkiller, when Kylo had been bleeding out in the forest and on the brink of death, she had tried desperately to save him and had managed to do so by reaching out with the Force. She hadn't healed him per se, but perhaps now that she knew it were possible she could do it should the moment arise.

As they walked out of the cave and back into the harsh desert sun, the others were all engaged in conversation, presumably planning their next move. But she was distracted when she felt a tug in the Force. One which was comfortingly familiar, but not entirely welcome in that exact moment.

"Y/N?" Rey snapped her out of it.

"Get to that ship." She quietly said, they didn't have long. "Get to that ship now, and get off this planet."

Chewie roared, questioning her.

"It's Ren, isn't it." Finn confirmed his suspicions.

"Just go, I'll hold him off so you can get clear." She took off her cloak and handed it to Chewie, along with the dagger, "don't lose the cloak." She then pleaded with him, and he put both in his bag for her.

"We can't just leave you here! Let me help you." Rey protested, but she turned to her and took ahold of her shoulders.

"You can't, Rey. Kylo is my responsibility, you need to get that dagger translated." She then looked to Finn and Poe who nodded at her, assuring her that they'd make her leave with them. Of course Rey could have easily tipped the scales in her favour against Kylo, but her true priority was to keep him away from Rey so he couldn't tell her about Palpatine.

The group of them piled off towards the ship, leaving her standing alone in the sand. She could sense him approaching, and in the distance vaguely hear the sound of his ship.

She stepped forwards and drew her hilt. He was speeding towards her, and didn't seem as though he had any intention of stopping or altering his direction.

He was testing her nerve, daring her to move first, and she was doing the same to him. They were both so stubborn and it was abundantly clear that neither would bail out before the other - they both insisted on standing their ground to prove a point.

_Move._

She heard his voice in her head.

_No. You move._

She drew her hilt and twirled it in her hand.

_No._

He inevitably insisted. He wasn't going to stop, and she wasn't going to move, but equally he knew that he wouldn't kill her.

"Oh Ren." She sighed under her breath, "hope you're not too fond of that ship."

She could sense his surprise when two blades ejected from her hilt rather than one, and as he drew even closer she spun round with her back to him and began to run, giving herself the momentum she needed.

When he was a split second behind her, she threw herself into the air and flipped over his ship, allowing her Saber to slice entirely through one of the wings. When she gracefully hit the floor she was just in time to watch Kylo's ship go flying off course and crash in the distance. For a split second she feared that she had hurt him in the process, but she felt nothing too painful, just some light cuts and bruises.

What concerned her now was that Ochi's ship still hadn't taken off, which meant the others were all still here. That's when she heard it in the distance.

"Rey!" She heard Finn's voice in the distance, "they got Chewie, they got him."

She raced towards them, knowing that it wasn't going to take Kylo long to catch her up. She had to get Rey away from him.

"Finn get her out of here, now!" Y/N yelled, as she ran over towards Rey.

"Ren's coming!" Poe emerged from the ship to shout down at her.

Turning around she could see him calmly walking through the sand, helmet removed, with the ruins of his ship burning behind him.

A transport took to the air, presumably the one with Chewie on board as a prisoner. Rey looked desperately at her.

"Save Chewie, you have to save him!" She shouted at Y/N, pleading. She stepped forward and reached out to the transport, tapping deep into the Force to begin pulling it back to the ground.

"Look out!" Finn suddenly yelled to her.

Her connection was quickly severed when she received a blow to the head which sent her flying to the ground. Everything around her went hazy, and the ringing in her ears was unbearable. When her eyes finally opened again she thought she was looking at Kylo and seeing double, but when her eyes adjusted she saw it was the Knights of Ren.

"Go for the head to get the upper hand... I'm a good teacher." She slurred, trying to stumble back to her feet, but when her vision started to regain its focus both Vicrul and Cardo were restraining her - one arm each. Meanwhile Ap'lek confiscated her Saber hilt.

"Quiet." Vicrul barked at her, and it stung to hear him speak so sharply to her as if she were just another prisoner.

Her bittersweet reunion with the Knights had to be pushed aside, she saw Rey taking her place and attempting to use the Force to pull the transport back to the ground. Kylo was approaching Rey, no doubt to contest her.

"Kylo, you don't have to do this!" She violently struggled against the grip of the Knights.

He paused momentarily, Finn, Poe and the Knights watching his movements curiously as he placed a gloved hand on the side of her face, steadying her from where she was still slightly dizzy.

He studied her for a moment, before his hand moved to wrap around Cardo's neck.

"Try not to give us both a concussion in the process of restraining her." He snapped, before turning away to pull the transport away from Rey.

She could sense his intentions, he was planning on pushing her to the edge until she snapped.

"Rey, don't let him corrupt you - you're stronger than this!" She tried to yell, but her voice echoed and didn't reach her. She was instead met with a blade at her throat.

"We said _quiet._ " Ushar stood in front of her and snapped.

_Kylo please don't do this, you're playing into Palpatine's hands._

No response, obviously.

She could feel him straining, and visibly see Rey struggling against him. Suddenly an almighty cry left her lips as lightning ejected from her hand - blowing the transport into oblivion.

"No!" Y/N shrieked, struggling against the Knights' grip, but they only tightened their hold on her. Even Kylo looked shocked to see it for himself, as if he had been in disbelief up until this point.

From across the way where Rey, Finn, and Poe were she could hear them all shouting and screaming. They then looked over to her and she shook her head, "go! Get out of here!" She shouted at the top of her lungs, and they all seemed to reluctantly accept that they had no choice but to leave her there.

"What part of quiet did you not understand?" Ushar delivered a powerful blow to her stomach, knocking the wind right out of her. She attempted to keel over, but was held in place by Vicrul and Cardo.

The strike felt slightly more personal than just an order to be quiet. There was rage, hurt and betrayal powering that punch... why did she feel so guilty for betraying an organisation she didn't care for?

It was because she _had_ cared for the Knights, and they had cared for her. She truly was sorry that she had abandoned them.

"Will you _stop._ " Kylo furiously wheezed as he stumbled over, clearly having experienced the impact of that blow himself.

"Sorry Master." Ushar hastily said, scurrying back in line.

"Follow them, quietly. Let me know when they land." He ordered, "and leave her with me." He then added, gesturing to her.

Ap'lek handed her Lightsaber over to him, and they traded her current restraints for Force-suppression cuffs.

"I told you if you joined them you'd be my enemy." He mumbled to her, leading her Maker knows where considering Rey had blown up their transport and she had destroyed his ship.

"And I told you that Palpatine needs to be stopped. But here you are, acting like his loyal attack dog." She knew that comment would infuriate him, but she wanted to make him angry. She thought that perhaps anger would be the only path to showing him the truth.

Before he could reply they came into view of another transport, and every trooper stood to attention at the sight of their Supreme Leader.

"Get us back to Steadfast." He ordered. That was a star destroyer she had never been aboard, but that wasn't really a relevant detail, it wasn't like she was going to be offered the grand tour.

Kylo pushed her aboard, where she was met with a truly nice surprise.

"Chewie!" She exclaimed, so shocked, but equally thrilled to see him alive.

The wookie roared, concerned that she had been captured, but also relieved to see her. At least they were in this mess together.

He lunged to get to her, but was pulled back by the multitude of restraints that were attached to him, including an electrified collar around his neck.

In turn, she tried to get to him, but one of Kylo's huge arms secured around her front and he wrestled her into a seat as they took off.

The troopers all sat in silence as they flew back to Steadfast. The cuffs meant she couldn't sense Kylo, or speak silently to him, but then again she realised she had nothing to hide anymore, so why not talk out loud? Perhaps damaging his reputation a little would do her some good.

"Ren." She caught his attention from where he sat beside her.

"What?" He hissed, clearly frustrated that she was having to speak aloud.

"Do you remember the morning when you cancelled the Knights' training and we stayed in bed talking? I told you something, and you didn't believe me. What did I tell you?" She was purposely trying to wind him up, since she knew her life wasn't in danger. Although they didn't make it obvious, it was clear that every trooper, plus Chewie, was listening in.

"No. I don't remember." He plainly said, lips pressed into a thin line as he looked straight ahead rather than at her.

"You do, and if you prefer there are plenty of other stories I could share... like the first time we-"

"-enough, don't." He quickly interjected, slightly panicked at where that sentence could have possibly gone, "you told me you once cut down a flying X-Wing." He reluctantly grumbled.

A noise came from Chewie, and she smirked at him.

"Yes you were there, it was Dantooine." She said to the wookie, before looking back at Kylo. "I guess now you must believe me, right?" She teased him, clearly referring to the ruins of his ship left in the desert.

"What was in the bag?" Kylo suddenly changed the subject, nodding at Chewie's bag which sat on the floor.

"Not much, just some supplies and an old cloak. The only important looking thing was this dagger." A trooper informed Kylo, but he was distracted as he moved to pick up the cloak.

She couldn't hear his thoughts now, but she knew him well enough to assume that her bringing up their memories together had him quietly reminiscing himself. He knew how much that cloak meant to her, he had been there on Tatooine when she had found it. Now was the test: was he going to do something cruel with the sole intention of making her angry, or had Palpatine failed to fully corrupt him just yet?

He moved to lean in front of her, so his back was facing everyone else.

"Steadfast is cold." He practically whispered so nobody else could hear him. He then moved her forward slightly to wrap the cloak around her shoulders.

Snoke couldn't make them kill one another, and Palpatine was clearly going to have to try harder if he wanted them to.


	32. Chapter Thirty Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now captured, Y/N and Chewie need to try and reach Ben Solo, but before they have the chance Allegiant General Pryde decides to pay her a visit.

When the transport landed, Chewie was escorted off first by every stormtrooper on board, leaving Kylo to deal with her. But even she could admit that with Force-suppression cuffs and no Saber her chances of escape were low.

"Now what?" She asked as he marched her through the base, too many pairs of eyes looking at her for her liking. But then again, she was the famed apprentice of Vader, turned General Andal, turned traitor.

"I take you to interrogation." He said, clearly running on autopilot. It was hard not being able to read him, she didn't realise how used to it she had gotten.

"Admit that what you've actually done is brought me in without thinking, and now you know that Pryde will want me dead. There's no point in interrogating me, I don't know anything useful." She may not have been in his head now, but she knew him so well that she knew this exact thought process would be running through his brain.

"You're not going to die." He mumbled to her, "I'm still working it out." They were walking behind Chewie and his guards. "I'll be back for you later." He assured her, before they came to a halt. She couldn't help but take his sentiment with a pinch of salt... or an entire mouthful of it.

He was forced to hand her over to a group of troopers to avoid any suspicion.

"Take them both to interrogation, I'll be there soon." He ordered, before storming off, probably to try and work out what in the galaxy he was going to do with her that didn't involve executing her for treason against the First Order.

Steadfast seemed to have a similar layout to the Finalizer, so much so that she could tell they were nearing the interrogation rooms. But before they could reach their destination, they all stopped moving, and she couldn't see past Chewie to find out what was going on.

"The Allegiant General is on his way here to assess the mission outcome, what news is there?" That voice caused relief to wash through her veins.

"We took two prisoners, General. The Supreme Leader ordered us to have them both taken to interrogation and said he would be there soon." The trooper in front informed Hux, who looked at Chewie, before stepping behind the wookie to see who the other prisoner was. When his eyes met hers, his face dropped.

"Oh..." He said, and she slowly nodded.

"'Oh' just about sums it up." She knew this wasn't the ideal reunion for them, but she was happy to see him for all it was worth. But Hux still had a role to play, hopefully they would get an opportunity to talk later.

"General Hux, report." Pryde's voice appeared from in front of where Chewie was being held. Just his voice made her blood boil.

Hux scurried back into the Allegiant General's view to enlighten him of the developments.

"We recovered the scavenger's ship, but she got away. Under the command of the Knights of Ren we suffered losses. A transport was destroyed." He informed. Hux's tone made it obvious just how much he hated handing control over to Kylo and the Knights. She thought it was actually a miracle that nobody had worked out that Hux was the spy yet.

"I've seen the report, is that all?" Pryde prompted.

"No, Allegiant General. There was another transport in the desert, and it brought back some valuable prisoners." Hux was reluctant to say that there were multiple prisoners, but she knew he had to protect his cover.

"Prisoners?" Pryde repeated back, putting emphasis on the plural. He could see Chewie, and studied him for a moment, the wookie meeting him with a threatening roar. However he was quickly silenced by a jolt of electricity from the collar around his neck.

"Yes, the beast used to fly with Han Solo." Hux paused, knowing that there was no hiding her from Pryde... or hiding Pryde from her. "The Knights of Ren were also able to capture the fugitive Darth Andal." 

Pryde visibly perked up at that, a cocky smile on his face as he walked around Chewie and approached her.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen." He taunted her, "I see it didn't take you long to cement your place as a traitor and join the Resistance. Pathetic." He spat, getting far too close to her face for comfort.

Her expression screwed up in response and she tried to pull away, only to be held in place by the troopers. "You really have no concept of personal space." She thought that since she was unable to kill Pryde right now, she could at least make him angry by showing him that his taunting was only going to be met with ruthless sarcasm.

"I'm sure that wouldn't be a concern of yours if it were the Supreme Leader here instead of me." He clearly still only saw her relationship with Kylo as something superficial she had concocted to get Kylo under her thumb.

"You know what Pryde, you're right." She hummed in a gentle tone, and he looked taken aback that she was so easily agreeing with him. But that look was quickly wiped off his face when she raised her leg and kicked him square in the chest before the troopers holding her could react. "He's a lot easier on the eye than you." She then snorted, as she was harshly pulled back by her captors.

It was clear that she had knocked the wind right out of him as he remained keeled over for another few moments, trying to regain his breath.

"Get her out of here." He snapped, and she was very smug to watch him concede to her so easily. Even in the corner of her eye she could see Hux stifling a smirk at Pryde's suffering.

"Right this way _General._ " One of the troopers taunted her, using her old title. It didn't bother her now, she was more concerned about Chewie than she was herself. Whilst her life wasn't in immediate danger thanks to her connection with Kylo, the same couldn't be said for Chewie, and he knew plenty of Resistance secrets that she didn't. He was the valuable prisoner, she was just a trophy prisoner.

They were separated and secured in neighbouring interrogation rooms. As soon as the cuffs were removed and replaced with the restraints on the interrogation chair she could feel herself reconnected to the Force, and to Kylo.

She could feel so much darkness radiating off him, and she feared that every moment he was away from her, he was being drawn further into Palpatine's clutches.

From the room beside her, she heard Chewie grumble - asking her if she was okay.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But you're in more danger than I am." She regretfully told him.

There were troopers posted outside both of their cells, rather than inside. Ever since Rey had used the Force to have her guard aid in her escape on Starkiller, they had been ordered to remain outside, which meant they couldn't hear her conversation.

Chewie responded by questioning her.

"Kylo's not going to kill me, no matter how much Palpatine corrupts him. But you have knowledge of the Resistance that he'll want, and he'll use the Force to get it."

His roar back was asking her how he was supposed to do that.

"No matter how much he tries, he won't be able to stop me from entering your head with him. I need you to push forward memories with Ben Solo, I can help force him to see them. You need to remind him of who he was, it'll hopefully stop him from being able to dig any deeper into your head." She told him, hoping that she would be able to actually help Chewie through this.

When they had interrogated Poe together they had both seen everything inside his head, and the same with Del Meeko. As Meeko crossed her mind she felt a pang of guilt. She had killed him for being a traitor, but perhaps he had left the Empire because his morals no longer supported it... now she really wasn't in a position to judge. It was just another weight of guilt on her shoulders.

Her and Chewie had their plan, but where they had been expecting Kylo to make the first visit to one of their cells, Pryde appeared at the door of her room instead.

"Back to embarrass yourself a bit more Pryde?" She smirked, knowing that there was nothing he could do to hurt her now. He had already torn her away from Kylo and the First Order.

"Quiet." He snapped, approaching her with whilst he twirled something in his hands.

"Tell me why you hate me so much." She calmly said. It had been playing on her mind a lot, sure she could understand why he wouldn't _like_ her, but to unconditionally hate her in the way he did went deeper.

"Because you, apprentice of Vader, daughter of Obi Wan Kenobi, have been stepping on my toes since the Empire." He sneered, "the moment you came along, Vader gave up caring for anyone's opinion but yours, and you were handed responsibilities that should have been _mine._ Then somehow you even ended up usurping power in the First Order, becoming a Commander, and being a close confidant of Supreme Leader Snoke was above your worth." He was almost yelling now, all of his pent up frustration surrounding her entire existence was becoming clear.

"It's not my fault that you were obviously sub-par at your job, Pryde." She snapped back, rolling her eyes. How was she supposed to take him seriously? He was speaking as though joining the Empire had been something she had chosen to do, when really it was quite the opposite.

"But then I finally got what was rightfully mine when Supreme Leader Ren gave me the Allegiant General position. I knew I could finally make your life as miserable as you made mine, but even I couldn't have anticipated what I overheard on Coruscant, it was perfect." He was clearly so proud of himself, yet the chip on his shoulder was still there. After all these years it had been jealousy that fuelled his hatred for her.

"Allegiant General Pryde, always missing the big picture." She scornfully remarked, "you're only in that position because I turned it down. Sorry to burst that bubble of yours, but you're _still_ second best to me." A smirk crossed her lips as she watched him tumble off his high-horse.

"You're lying." He hissed, finally revealing the item he had been twirling around in his hands to be a small dagger, but this didn't phase her.

"Ask Ren if I'm lying." She taunted him. Circumstances aside, it was nice to finally give Pryde a piece of her mind without having to worry about the repercussions.

"I could kill you right now." He jumped to threatening her, acting irrationally.

"Good luck explaining that one to your Supreme Leader." She continued to stare at him with a deadpan expression, even when he pressed the blade to her neck.

First Ushar, now Pryde, she really was sensing that this was just one of those days when it came to people holding knives at her throat.

"He'll praise me for ridding the galaxy of traitorous scum." Pryde concluded, "his own policy states that aiding the Resistance is punishable by death."

In all fairness, she had to give him that last point. Kylo's Resistance crackdown had been implemented months ago now, and in that time she had killed many allies of the Resistance. But that didn't mean her death was about to be added to the statistics.

"You're dreaming, Pryde." She harshly whispered, very aware of the blade at her throat. "What you saw on Coruscant was just the tip of the iceberg, you couldn't even begin to understand the connection I have with your Supreme Leader. If that knife so much as pierces my skin, no matter where he is, he'll feel it."

This had him visibly taken aback. "You're bluffing." He then concluded, but he was clearly unsure of himself.

"Would you stake your life on that bet?" She then challenged him, "kill me, and you may as well put the dagger in Ren's chest whilst you're at it." She could see the cogs turning in Pryde's head as she taunted him, he was trying to work out how much truth there was to her words.

She could tell that he was thinking back to times he had seen her and Ren together, and she specifically hoped he would remember the council meeting when he had exposed her heritage and relationship. Kylo had appeared in the room despite nobody seemingly calling him there, it was proof enough that they were connected in one way or the other.

Nearby, she could sense the Supreme Leader himself approaching the interrogation rooms.

_Your dog's off its leash, come and get it will you._

She naturally wasn't thrilled about her current predicament, and realistically a lot of the blame for it fell with Kylo, but Pryde was volatile and honestly she couldn't confidently say that he wouldn't stab her... so she had no choice but to call for Ren.

He didn't respond to her, but the blast doors flew open to reveal one of the guards.

"The Supreme Leader demands that the prisoner is to be left alone." He hesitantly told Pryde, who just looked confused.

"How did he know-" his own train of thought paused when the penny dropped, and he turned to look at her in disbelief. That was evidence enough for him.

"It's a good job you didn't stab me." She smirked, tormenting him just a bit more before he stormed out of the room.

Now alone, she wondered where Kylo was. He had definitely been approaching her, and he must have been just outside if he had ordered the guard to get Pryde out of the room. But she didn't need to question his whereabouts for long, as she heard Chewie next door to her, trying to get through to Ben Solo before Kylo inevitably invaded his head.

She could hear restraints being removed, then the muffled sound of Kylo talking, provoking even.

"You want revenge for Han Solo? Then take it." He wanted to make Chewie angry, admittedly she knew that would make it easier to breech his mind, but she could feel Kylo's own hurt and rage through the Force. Part of him _wanted_ to be punished for killing his father, he was still carrying guilt that he desperately wished he could rid himself of.

She could hear Chewie refusing to harm him, Kylo should have known better than to think he would attack the son of the man whom had been his best friend.

"Pathetic." Kylo had sneered, and she could tell by his voice that he wasn't wearing his helmet. Hopefully she had managed to destroy it when she had wrecked his ship.

"What's your mission? Where are the others going now? Tell me... or I'll take it myself." Kylo offered Chewie the one chance to offer up information willingly, but it was undoubtedly going to be a lost cause.

When she felt the Force pulling her into Chewie's mind, she just hoped that their plan would work. Kylo was clearly making efforts to push her out, but he wasn't strong enough to keep her away and rip apart the wookie's mind in tandem.

She felt exhausted, sick almost, and she knew those feelings were coming from Ren. He certainly wasn't revelling in this interrogation in the way he usually was. She had seen him tear apart so many minds, but never with this much emotion behind it.

_Remember Chewie, show him the memories._

Her voice cut through the pain Kylo was inflicting, and Chewie seemed to respond to her. Immediately, flashes of old memories between a younger Han and Chewie filled both of their visions. They were laughing together, flying together, and getting in all kinds of trouble together. That was the same Han she remembered meeting on Tatooine when she had been younger.

They then watched a wedding from Chewie's perspective, the marriage of his best friend and the woman he had come to love like a sister. By the time Han and Leia were married, she had already been a block of carbonite.

Kylo was responding to all of this, and it was tearing him apart. He was trying so hard to push past it all and get the information he needed about the Resistance and Rey's mission, but Y/N was grounding him in place.

When they had interrogated Meeko together, they couldn't get to the necessary information until she tore herself away from the visions they were seeing, but now she was keeping him in the visions on purpose.

Memories that Kylo would likely share with Chewie then came to light. A young Ben Solo, still a toddler, being cuddled by the wookie. Then as he grew older, being taught to drive a speeder, and how to fire a blaster. They had been doing target practise together, Ben looked to be a young man by this point. She had only ever seen glimpses of him that happy in moments they had spent alone together whilst she had still been with the First Order.

Finally, the icing on the cake was hearing two words, spoken in the voice of a young boy.

"Uncle Chewie."

At that point, Kylo ripped them both out and back to reality. She allowed him to do so, hoping that Chewie had helped him ground himself, and break past Palpatine's corruption. She felt even more nauseous now, which meant that those memories had had some kind of substantial effect on Kylo.

Chewie roared to her, telling her that he had left the room, looking angry. But before she could respond to him, the doors to her room flew open to reveal a furious-looking Kylo Ren. But she could see past the rage, he was just masking his own fear and guilt. She recognised it, not because they were connected, but because she had had the exact same reaction when her own past had come to light.

"So now what?" She calmly asked as he stared at her.

"I go after Rey, and finish this." He replied, "where is she going?"

"You're not going to kill her, I can see it in your eyes." She ignored his question.

"I'll use her to get back to Palpatine, _then,_ I'll kill them both." He told her his plan... his clearly flawed plan.

"And I'm supposed to just sit here and wait until you're Emperor?" She asked him, sarcasm dripping from her tone.

"I don't want you near Palpatine." He admitted, and rather than see that as an act of love, she took it as an insult.

"Why, because you're worried about what he'll do? Or are you worried about what I'll do?" She narrowed her eyes, trying her best to lean forward, despite the restraints.

"I'm doing this to protect you-" he looked slightly hurt by her reaction, but nevertheless he approached her and placed a hand on the side of her face, "you know I..." he paused, once again failing to express his true emotions aloud, "you know how I feel about you. I'm doing this to get you back."

She noticed that he still struggled to say that he loved her to her face, and she couldn't blame him, she was the same. They were two people who didn't fare well when it came to talking about their feelings or emotions, they were better at acting on them.

"Get me back?" She hissed, shaking her head to make him move his hand, "Kylo look at yourself. You've got me chained up in an interrogation room, you've done the exact opposite of everything I've asked you to do-" she paused and her tone lowered, showing the anger that she was suddenly feeling towards him, "-and you're working for the man who took my life away from me. You're the only person in the galaxy who knows what Palpatine put me through, and how I feel about it, and yet you still went running to him because he offered you power. You can't stand there and say you care about me and want to protect me, not when you're siding with him."

Her words cut him like a knife, but they were at odds now. Where Kylo may have once responded with sympathy and understanding, now he failed to understand her point of view, the same way she failed to understand his.

"I _am_ going to kill him." He insisted, his voice now manifesting as a frustrated snarl.

"You said that when you first went to Exegol." She harshly pointed out, "but here you are, doing his bidding. You may not think you are, but I know Palpatine, you're just playing into his plan." She paused to exhale a short sigh, "at some point you're going to have to decide if you're doing this for me, or for yourself. Is the power really worth it?"

They were still connected through the Force, and they were both heading to the same destination, but the paths they had each taken took entirely different routes to get there. They still wanted the same thing at the end of the day, and that was to be together again.

"I know what I'm doing, and why I'm doing it." He snapped, before they were interrupted by an officer coming into the room.

"Forgive me for interrupting Supreme Leader, but we received a transmission from the Knights of Ren. They've found the scavenger and her Resistance friends, we'll be arriving at their location any moment now." After delivering the message, the officer was quick to excuse himself, and one the doors shut Kylo turned to leave without saying another word.

"I felt it Kylo." She caught his attention and he stopped moving, but didn't turn back to face her, "when you saw Chewie's memories with Ben Solo I felt that nausea. I know you won't listen to me now, but I've been through exactly that. You didn't feel angry because you hate those memories, you felt angry because you missed them. You don't have to keep fighting it. Neither of us can beat Palpatine unless we're working together, we're only making each other weaker when we're at odds like this." She still had no attachment to Ben Solo as such, but she feared that only the light could drag him away from Palpatine now. Not to mention that they were at their strongest when their dyad was - they needed to be on the same page to stand up to the Emperor's power.

"None of that matters." His voice was low, but less threatening than it had been before, "I can't turn back now, I'm irredeemable." It sounded as though he was trying to convince himself, but she could still feel how rooted in the dark he was. But then again, it wasn't like she had turned back to the light and renounced the dark side herself.

"Kylo..." she caught his attention one last time before he left the room, and he stopped again, this time turning to face her. "So am I." She simply told him, and he said no more before leaving her alone.

She wasn't sure how long passed, these rooms were designed to give their inhabitant no concept of time in order to disorientate them. Her and Chewie had spoken a bit more, she had told him about her conversation with Kylo, and said that he was going after Rey. She knew that she had to stop him, but it was just a case of getting out of this damn chair, then getting her Saber back, which she could only assume Kylo had put in his quarters for safe keeping.

A plan formulated in her head. At some point they would have to bring her food, and that was when she could use the Force to have them unlock her restraints. Or if there were too many troopers should take their weapons and simply gun them down. It wasn't the most solid plan, but it was the best she could do given the circumstances, it wasn't like a miracle was going to come walking through the door.

Just as thought crossed her mind, a miracle did in fact walk through the door.

"Time to go." Poe told her, a cocky smirk on his lips.

"Dameron? What are you doing here?" Disbelief was written all over her face as he undid her restraints, finally freeing her.

"Saving you, what does it look like? Now we don't have long, we need to get back to the ship." He began to usher her out of the room.

"But how did you find us?" She asked, spotting the stormtroopers who had been on guard outside her cell, now lifeless on the floor.

"We actually had a little help in that department." Finn spoke with a hint of bitterness in his tone as he appeared from the neighbouring room, with Chewie in tow. The wookie pulled her into his arms briefly, saying that he understood why she had kept the connection with Kylo a secret, and that they would get him back one way or the other.

"We have no time for sentiment-" another voice cut through their reunion, "you all need to get off this ship before Ren gets back." Hux appeared in her vision, and her face softened.

"Hux you're risking everything here." She told him, grateful for his help, but immediately concerned for his safety.

"Yes well, I don't have much left to lose. I heard Pryde talking, and he wasn't going to allow you to survive despite Ren's wishes, so I called them here." He admitted.

With Kylo now presumably planet-side, they wouldn't have long to escape before he would realise that they were all on board Steadfast. She had to keep Rey away from- come to think of it...

"Where's Rey?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any rly bad typos I proof read this late at night haha
> 
> But how are we feeling going into the final six chapters?!
> 
> Kinda final five because the very last one will be more of an epilogue...


	33. Chapter Thirty Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the escape from Steadfast underway, Y/N has to decide what to do with Hux now that he's risked his position as the spy by helping to break her and Chewie out, not to mention keeping her escape a secret from the Supreme Leader.

"Rey's already wandered off to get the dagger, you can't do the same!" Finn protested.

"I'm not 'wandering off,'" she insisted, "I just need to get my Saber."

"Then why not let Hugs here go and get it for you, and you come back with us? It's not safe for us to be splitting up." Poe suggested, earning himself a scornful glance from Hux.

They were all huddled in an alcove a few corridors away from the interrogation room, keeping their voices hushed incase they attracted any unwanted attention.

"Because Hux needs to get himself to the ship as well." She plainly said, knowing what kind of reaction that was going to elicit from everyone in the group.

 _"What?"_ They all said in union, Hux included.

"There is no way he's coming with us." Finn hissed, and she understood why he harboured so much resent for Hux, she really did. But she knew that if Hux stayed, he wouldn't survive another day - it wouldn't take the Supreme Council long to figure out that he was their mole.

"I have to echo that sentiment." The General then pitched in.

"Hux, if you stay here Pryde will kill you, and don't think it'll be like what he did with me, he knew he couldn't kill me straight away because of Kylo, but _you..._ " She quietly exhaled a dry laugh, "Kylo will jump at an excuse to see you dead."

Her harsh reality check was clearly resonating with Hux, it was written all over his face. He realised that she was right, but the others were not quite as convinced.

"Even if our spy decides he wants to come with us, who says we're going to let him?" Poe pointed out, raising an eyebrow at her, "you can't just invite him and expect us to get on board with it."

"No, but without him you'd probably be dead right now, and without him I'd have probably been dead a long time ago." She was ready to stand in the middle of Steadfast and risk being caught for as long as it took to save Hux's life. "Without him, I'd still be on Tatooine, and this whole mission would have been a failure." She added that last part in a softer tone, showing just how much she owed the General.

Chewie quietly grumbled, vouching for her, which had both Finn and Poe looking at the wookie in disbelief.

"You _agree_ with her?" Finn asked.

Chewie simply responded by telling him that he trusted Y/N's judgement.

Both Finn and Poe looked torn at this, because they knew they couldn't stand here and argue about it for much longer.

"Hux knows more about the First Order than anyone, not to mention all military workings. He can help the Resistance more from inside than he can from here." She put that forward as her final ditch effort to get the boys on board with her rescue-Hux plan.

They exchanged a glance, and Finn eventually let out a frustrated groan, " _fine,_ but he's your responsibility Kenobi, and at the first sign of a double cross I'm letting Poe shoot him."

"Oh I'll gladly shoot him." Poe chimed in.

"Good enough for me." She shrugged. "Now back to the point. If you all go back to Ochi's ship, I'll get my Saber and meet you there."

"I can't go-" Hux piped up and she exhaled a heavy sigh.

"Hux, I've just spent the past few minutes trying to save your skin, and now you're saying you won't come?" She harshly whispered at him.

"No I just..." he grimaced as he remembered his audience, "I need to get Millicent."

"Who in the stars is Millicent?" Finn sounded exasperated.

"A very important passenger." Y/N grinned slightly, "okay so final plan: I'll get my Saber, Hux will get Millicent, we all meet back on the ship and problem solved."

"Yeah, just like that." Finn sarcastically agreed with her.

"What could possibly go wrong?" She teased, a grin on her lips.

"So, so much." Poe responded before they all broke off into different directions.

And with that they had split up, with Finn, Poe and Chewie heading back to the ship, Hux going to get Millicent and her going to get her Saber.

She had no idea where exactly Kylo's quarters were, but she could sense both crystals in her Saber reaching out to her and they weren't far away, so she followed the trail. It consisted of a lot of sneaking around to avoid being spotted, she ideally wanted to avoid using the Force for fear that Kylo would sense it and realise she had escaped.

Along the way she had to quietly knock out a few troopers to keep her cover, but she eventually made it to what must've been Kylo's quarters. She could feel her Saber was inside, but there was something else... a presence, but one that was distorted, and fighting a dark shroud which was threatening to engulf it.

She walked in, her defences raised and ready for anything, but she immediately relaxed when she saw a blue Saber buzzing, with Rey stood wielding it.

"At ease, soldier." She teased, and Rey breathed a sigh of relief as she retracted the blade.

"What are you doing here? I thought Finn and Poe were rescuing you." She asked.

"They did rescue me-" she outstretched her hand, her dual-hilt flying into her grip from where Kylo had left it, "-but I couldn't leave without this. What about you? What are you doing here?"

"The dagger-" Rey paused, taking a shaky breath, "-Ochi used this dagger to kill my parents."

Y/N's heart sunk, Rey was on the cusp of the truth, and she was also on the cusp of losing herself to the dark.

"Kylo pushed you in the desert, I'm sorry I couldn't stop him." She gently said, "it doesn't mean you have to lose yourself to that power."

"You know what it is, don't you." Rey quietly said.

"You do too, you're just afraid to admit it and open yourself up to it." Y/N clipped her Saber to her belt and stepped towards her.

"It'll consume me... the darkness." The fear she felt radiated off her.

"Only if you let it Rey. I know I didn't have long to train you, but just remember that you don't need to be afraid of the dark, and the anger." She briefly explained, "we need to get back to the ship, once we're out of here I promise I'll help, and I'll tell you everything." Rey was on the brink of recalling her true heritage as it was, so for Y/N to keep secrets now was doing more harm than good.

"Okay." Rey exhaled a sigh and quietly agreed, stashing the dagger on her belt.

Both women turned to leave Kylo's quarters, but something caught her eye on their way out. It was her old cloak, draped over the pedestal beside Vader's charred helmet.

She heard Rey calling her name, but her focus was entirely on the garment she had left behind. The second she touched the soft, familiar fabric, she felt how much loss and pain was now attached to it. Kylo had kept it because he missed her, because he was bleeding from the loss of her by his side... and she had just cut him further by saying that he couldn't possibly care about her because he was working with Palpatine.

Guilt washed over her, by attacking Kylo in the way she had she'd likely only pushed him further into Palpatine's grasp. He needed to be reminded that she was there for him, not told that his feelings for her were false.

_What's wrong?_

Kylo's voice in her head jolted her out of her trance.

"Rey, go. I'll meet you back on the ship." She quietly insisted, earning a confused look from her.

"Why?" Rey questioned.

"Ren." Was all she said, and Rey seemed to understand exactly what she meant. "I'll be there as soon as I can, but if I'm not there in ten minutes you need to leave without me." She added, at which point Rey opened her mouth to protest, but Y/N's expression said it all. She then reluctantly left with the dagger to find the others.

_Nothing._

She attempted to play off the sudden spike in her emotions, knowing that if he manifested in front of her it would be obvious that she was no longer in her restraints. Curse that cloak for pulling all of these emotions to the surface.

_I felt it, it was something._

His response caused her to inhale a deep breath, she needed to lead him away from the truth.

_I was just thinking about what I said to you earlier, and I felt guilty. I didn't mean it, I'm sorry._

Apologising always felt like acid on her tongue, even when she was the one in the wrong, but now it was necessary.

_You did mean it, I know you did. So what's changed?"_

_Solitary confinement has just given me time to think I guess._

Perhaps playing it off with a more lighthearted joke would help, but when she heard him speak, she knew she was too late... hopefully she had at least bought enough time for everyone else to get to the ship.

"You're lying." When he appeared behind her, she was hesitant to turn around, but the game was over.

"Okay yes, I'm lying. But I _am_ sorry for what I said." She turned to face him, her expression softening slightly when she saw him.

"How did you get out?" He asked the inevitable question.

"I asked nicely." She shrugged, thinking it best to avoid giving him a straight answer altogether.

"You had help." He narrowed his eyes, studying her, most likely getting a read on her through the Force, "you know who the mole is, don't you."

It was amazing just how well they could read each other, to anyone else she had given away absolutely no information, but Kylo knew how to connect the dots.

"Yes, I do know." She admitted, seeing no point in lying now. She certainly wasn't going to give Hux up though.

"Tell me who it is." He demanded, his tone lowering. "You have no means of escape, so you can either tell me now, or I'll find out for myself when I get back."

"You'll find out how exactly? We both know you couldn't break my mental defences, dyad or not." Her grip subconsciously tightened on her old cloak, as if she were clinging onto the memories of how they had been not so long ago.

Perhaps her leaving the First Order had just been the catalyst for their relationship falling apart. If she had been there, she was certain she could have stopped him from going to seek out Palpatine, but equally if she had've stayed then Hux had insinuated that Pryde would've seen her dead one way or the other. Really there had been no choice, but the Force still wanted her by Kylo's side, which constantly perplexed her since they were now fighting on opposing sides of a war.

Kylo's gaze was drawn to the cloak in her hand, "so that's where you are." He quietly said, "collecting what you left behind?" There was bitterness in his tone with that last statement.

"More like regretting leaving in the first place." Her tone perfectly juxtaposed his, as her mind continued to spiral, wondering just how much of this she could have prevented had she simply followed the will of the Force and stayed with Kylo.

Perhaps Anakin had been right when he'd said that destiny was complicated, and that it would find her regardless of her actions.

"It's too late to change that now." Kylo said, his tone remaining steady. He clearly wasn't ready to open himself up to her again just yet, and she knew that it was because he feared that once he let her back in, he wouldn't be able to keep the light out.

She still felt as though she naturally leaned more towards the dark than she did the light, but having embraced both sides of the Force made her feel more whole, and strangely more powerful.

"Maybe not." She suggested, in the back of her mind remembering that the longer she could keep him talking, the better. It would keep him off base for longer, and worst case scenario the others would leave without her. She could steal a TIE and catch them up, it's not like she hadn't done it before...

"Once Palpatine is dead, the Sith throne will be mine. I want you by my side when that happens." He veered away from the subject of changing things, and she could tell it was because they were too close to bringing up Ben Solo again.

"The throne won't be yours, surely you can see that. You can't return to Exegol Kylo, he'll kill you as soon as he has Rey." She insisted, knowing that he was simply a puppet for the Emperor just as she had once been.

"And who's going to stop me? You?" His voice deepened as he stepped towards her, the gap between them becoming virtually non-existent.

"If I have to." She spoke with just as much conviction, raising her chin to defiantly look up at him.

He exhaled a dry, unforgiving, laugh at that, "look at you. You've gone from a block of carbonite to this... I thought you didn't leave the First Order to join the Resistance." 

"I didn't." She admitted, not wavering at his imposing presence, "but I didn't envision Palpatine manipulating the man I-" she then paused, finding herself in the same predicament Kylo had back in the interrogation room, "-the man I share my life force with. We both knew I was going to get dragged back into this war at some point."

She could feel the way his heart had jumped at her words before she had changed tact. She had wanted to say that she loved him, more than anything, but it felt like every time she tried to say it aloud the words simply knotted themselves on her tongue and she couldn't get them out.

"But you didn't have to-" he began to argue back, but became distracted by something going on behind him, which she evidently couldn't see, or hear.

When he turned back to her, his expression was cold, contested only by the fire burning in his eyes. "You were distracting me." Clearly word about Rey and the others being aboard Steadfast had reached him, and in an angry flash his Saber was out and swinging at her.

She was quick to duck under the blade, but in doing so Kylo's Saber sliced straight through his grandfather's helmet.

Both of them paused in their actions, taking a moment to stare at the destroyed relic. Each of them had sought a sense of comfort in Vader, and now his only remaining physical memorial was the Lightsaber hanging at her waist.

Before Kylo could say, or do, anything else she cut their connection off and he faded from her view. Judging by her timings, the others should have been leaving at any second with or without her, but Rey's stubbornness concerned her and she feared that she would refuse to leave without her on board.

With that in mind, she took off running towards the hanger where Ochi's ship should have been. With the base now aware of their presence, she wasn't able to keep a low profile.

She ran with her double-bladed Saber drawn, mercilessly slicing through any trooper who dared crossed her path. They dropped like flies as they approached her, not even managing to leave a single scratch on her. It had been a long time since she had single-handedly rinsed through an army like this... not since she had been a part of the Empire.

When she rounded a corner into the hanger she ground to a halt, seeing no ship. For a moment she was relieved to assume that they had left without her as she had instructed and hopefully still taken Hux with them... but then she saw Rey, stood near the edge of the hanger fending off stormtroopers.

Before her brain could process that, a ship came flying in to land, and it had the Supreme Leader aboard - she could sense his presence.

With little time to come up with a plan she rushed over towards Rey, using the Force to throw troopers out of her way.

"What are you still doing here?" She hissed as she joined the fray, separated her blades into two in order to better defend herself.

"We couldn't leave without you. The others got caught, Hux saved them from being executed and took them to the Falcon, they must have brought it here with you and Chewie." Rey quickly explained in the midst of swinging her Saber to deflect blaster bolts.

"That still doesn't explain why you're here." Her tone likely came off as frustrated, as if she were scolding Rey, but really it came from a place of concern. Despite having agreed to tell her the truth about her heritage, Y/N still wanted to keep Kylo away from her, he wasn't likely to break the news to her gently.

"I sensed Ren coming back, I couldn't leave you here alone." Rey's actions had equally come from a place of concern, they had simply clashed with Y/N's.

"Rey it's not safe-" she began, but became distracted by the cease of blaster fire.

Both women lowered their Sabers, but the blades remained active. Y/N reattached her hilts to become one as they watched Kylo walk towards them. With a simple raise of his hand he had every trooper lowering their weapons and standing to attention as they awaited orders from their Supreme Leader.

"Don't suppose you had an escape plan did you?" She mumbled to Rey.

"They're working on that." She whispered back.

"You have nowhere to go, you can't run from the truth any longer Rey." Kylo's voice boomed through the hanger, and beside her she could see Rey visibly gulp.

"That's enough Kylo." Y/N warned him, but he didn't relent.

"You want to know why Palpatine had your parents killed, don't you. You want to know why he wants you dead." He pressed, slowly walking towards them, but he came to a dead stop once Obi Wan's Saber was pointed at his face.

"I told you, that's _enough._ " She warned him for the final time.

"You can't hide the truth from her, anymore than Palpatine could hide the truth from you." He drew on her personal experiences, but he hadn't thought his words through.

"You seem to think that the truth will liberate her and set her free, but what about your truth, Ben Solo?" She taunted him, purposely announcing his name loudly in front of everyone in the hanger.

There was a sudden spike in Kylo's anger and anxiety, and she couldn't help but draw on the same emotions as they passed over to her.

"Ben Solo is _dead_." He furiously insisted, his voice now raising.

"Pushing him away isn't the same killing him!" She shouted back at him, matching his tone.

With a roar he drew his Saber and lunged at her, and she met his blade with Vader's half of her Saber, before bringing Obi Wan's blade to help counter Kylo's.

"You don't just have power Rey, you have _his_ power. You're his granddaughter." Kylo used the distraction to tell Rey the truth.

"Rey-" she swung her blades upwards to end their standoff, but the second she turned around to try and explain to Rey that her heritage didn't change anything, Kylo seized the opportunity and used the Force to push her towards the edge of the hanger where Rey was stood. 

Despite the revelation, and the evident horror that was plastered across her face, she helped to pull Y/N back to her feet.

They could both sense the others approaching, evidently in the Falcon. But Kylo wasn't done yet.

"That power is part of you, you know what you need to do." He harshly insisted, thinking that he could convince her to go to Exegol with him that easily.

"I do." Rey responded, before the Falcon appeared right behind them, ready to pick them up. At the sight of the ship, all troopers began to open fire, but Poe cranked up the engines to send them all hurtling backwards.

Rey and Y/N were stood directly beneath the engines, so weren't affected by their velocity, and Rey was the first one to leap into the air and use the Force to pull herself back to the ship. Just as she was about to follow, Kylo's voice in her head momentarily grounded her. He was crouched to the floor, using the Force to hold himself firmly in place.

_You said you regretted leaving, so stay with me now. Stay with me and we can end this together._

Clearly fearing that he was about to lose the advantage, he made a last ditch effort to keep her by his side. She knew it was partially because he knew he couldn't kill Palpatine alone to take the throne, but also because he feared that he was losing control of himself without her in his life.

Whilst she empathised, she knew that taking the throne wasn't her end goal, and she didn't believe it was really Kylo's. She wondered just how long Palpatine had been manipulating him for, but she was convinced that Kylo wasn't beyond her reach just yet, and once they were on the same page they could finally kill the Emperor.

_Think about what you really want Kylo._

Was all she replied with, before she followed Rey back on board the ship.

Finn helped pull her onto the boarding ramp, and they all hurried inside so Poe could get them into hyperspace.

"You made it." A voice caught her attention, and she was relieved to see Hux, Millicent curled up in his arms.

"Just about. Glad to see they didn't throw you overboard whilst I was gone." She quipped.

"Believe me, it was a close call." Finn grumbled, "but even I'll admit that we would have been dead without him. We got caught on our way back to the ship." He explained.

"Although when were you planning on telling us that Millicent was a _cat?"_ Poe interjected as he climbed down from the cockpit to join them.

"She's not my cat! Not my responsibility!" Y/N immediately protested, and Hux looked immensely offended.

She knew she needed to talk to Rey about what Kylo had just told her, but unfortunately there were other matters they all needed to discuss first.

"Where exactly are we going?" Hux asked, having dropped everything to save his own skin - he really was a mystery tour right now.

"That's definitely information above your pay-grade." Poe snidely remarked, and she couldn't help but laugh slightly at Hux's reaction. He wasn't used to being in this position.

"We're going to the Endor system." Finn then shared, namely for her and Chewie's sakes since they had been captive.

"Endor?" Familiarity hit her, and a shiver crossed her spine. "I haven't been there since-" she cut herself off, suddenly not wanting to divulge anymore information about her personal life. Considering Rey was barely holding it together, she figured it was best to avoid talking about anything to do with Palpatine or the Empire.

"Since you were put into carbon freezing." Hux suddenly mused, having easily put two and two together so deciding to finish her sentence. She shot him a look to tell him to shut up, and he grimaced slightly as he sat down, distracting himself by fussing Millicent.

"That's where the coordinates on the dagger are taking us." Rey chimed in, and it was clear that she was trying to use the mission to distract herself from everything swimming around in her head.

"So you managed to get Threepio to translate them?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah... sorta." Poe bit his lip awkwardly, and she furrowed her brow, but before she could respond the droid in question came waddling in.

"I believe I heard my name! Oh-" he exclaimed when he saw her, "I don't believe we've met, I am C-3PO human-cyborg relations." He proudly introduced himself, and she just looked at him, stunned.

"Kriffing hell, what did you do to him?" She sighed, knowing that a Threepio with seemingly no memories would be more of a hinderance than anything.

"To extract the information they had to do a full memory wipe." Poe sighed in response, hopefully R2-D2 would be able to restore him if they ever made it back to Ajan Kloss.

"And what about you? Are you going to be able to keep Ren out long enough for us to get this Wayfinder?" Finn then asked her, and she sighed.

"I think so..." She wasn't at all confident in her words, but she knew that she couldn't jeopardise the search for Palpatine twice.

They all fell silent for a moment after that, an awkward tension in the air as soon as Kylo was mentioned. She assumed that they now felt as though they were walking on eggshells when they discussed him with her present. Little did they know that she was just as frustrated with him as they were right now.

"We're sorry we got on your case about keeping it a secret, we didn't realise you were... y'know." Poe awkward began to apologise for something she didn't even think they should have been sorry for.

"In love." Finn then finished his sentence for him.

"Believe me, none of us realised." Hux then spoke yet again at just the wrong moment.

"Honestly Hux, at this rate _I'll_ shoot you." She semi-teased him before turning her attention back to the others, "I know better than to let my feelings compromise this mission, if Kylo follows us, I know I can beat him." She said that with confidence, but failed to leave out the key point which was that she couldn't, and _wouldn't_ kill him if it came down to it. Hopefully, it wouldn't come to that in the first place.

Satisfied with that answer, they all parted way for the rest of the journey. Finn, Poe and Chewie taking to the cockpit, Threepio babbling to a small droid which she didn't recognise, and Hux busying himself by looking after Millicent and no doubt trying to ignore the fact that he had just abandoned the First Order.

That just left her and Rey. She immediately followed Rey to the on-board quarters so they could have some peace.

"That wasn't how I wanted you to find out." Y/N gently said, doing her best to find some compassion, but emotions certainly weren't her strong suit.

"You didn't want me to find out at all." Rey pointed out, and she didn't sound angry... she almost sounded sad.

"No, I didn't. I wish things weren't this way, but they are, it's what you do with that power that counts Rey, not where it comes from." Clearly she was upset, but Y/N was hoping to at least remind her that the light was where she was supposed to be. There was no reason why Rey had to fall to the dark just because of a family name.

"What do you mean?" Her brow furrowed.

"Take the serpent beneath the sinking fields for example; you could have killed it. Kriff, _I_ was going to kill it, but you found a different way. I've seen Palpatine use that exact power, but rather than giving life-force, he would only ever take it. You're so much better than him Rey." Sensing that was all she could say, and that Rey needed time alone with her thoughts, Y/N turned and left her alone.

She was so close to finding Palpatine now, and she was determined to kill him. The only thing missing now was Kylo - without him she wouldn't be strong enough to face the Emperor, which meant she had to break him free of the manipulation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow remember when I let Kylo and reader be HAPPY for a few chapters... good times
> 
> definitely back to your regularly scheduled angst now


	34. Chapter Thirty Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the Resistance team arrives at the Death Star Wreckage, their mission to get the Wayfinder runs into some complications... a lot of complications.

Looking at the Death Star wreckage was giving her chills. But at the same time she had so many fond memories there.

She didn't say that aloud, considering the reaction she would probably get. Yes, she had never chosen that life, and she had been living under Palpatine's thumb, but at the time she hadn't known that. In all honesty, she had been quite happy with the Empire, and with Vader. He had taught her so much, skills that she still used to this day - whether it had been her choice or not, the Empire had shaped her into who she was now, and in the grand scheme of things it had been necessary. Without Vader being her mentor, she would have never been put into Carbon Freezing.

Upon arrival on one of the moons of Endor, they had been greeted by a party of locals and they seemed hospitable enough. Until they spotted her and Hux that is... then they both had multiple weapons pointed at their faces. Finn had later found out from their leader, Jannah, that they were in fact all ex-stormtroopers, so she couldn't really blame them for their reaction, and she had to spend a few minutes reminding Hux that he couldn't hate them for deserting because he had done the exact same thing.

Standing between them and the Death Star were vicious ocean waves which, according to Jannah, were too treacherous to cross for a few hours yet. Rey in particular wasn't thrilled about that news, but they had little choice.

Poe, Finn and Chewie went about starting repairs on the Falcon, whilst Y/N and Hux sat outside admiring the scenery, and avoiding the ex-stormtroopers who likely wanted to kill them both.

"Why do I feel guilty?" Hux asked her as Millicent nuzzled her head against his hand, "those troopers abandoned the First Order, but I feel guilty that they were ever there in the first place."

She glanced over at him, surprised to see him being so emotionally vulnerable, "maybe because you have a different perspective now. The same thing happened to me after I got my memories back, killing innocent people for the First Order was hurting me more every day. Before that, I never thought twice about it." Dealing with emotions wasn't her strong suit, but guilt was something that she had been feeling a lot of since she regained her memories.

"Does it ever go away?" Clearly Hux hated feeling these emotions as much as she did, but there was no point in lying to him.

"No, it doesn't. But it does get easier, you just need to decide if you want to right your wrongs or live with them." She laid back on the grass, her hands moving behind her head.

"Are you righting your wrongs now? Is that why you're with the Resistance?" He asked, still sitting bolt upright in typical Hux fashion, only his hand moved as it scratched Millicent behind the ear.

She took a moment to ponder his question, she knew she wasn't with the Resistance to help with their war effort. But equally ridding the galaxy of Palpatine seemed like a good deed to her...

"I don't think it's possible to right all of my wrongs." She mused - there was no redemption for the number of the people she had murdered and planets she had helped decimate over the years. "But killing the man who ruined my life would be a good start. If it weren't for Palpatine, both of my parents probably would have survived a lot longer than they did."

Hux still wasn't entirely clued up on her past, but other than Kylo, nobody was. She didn't need to be hailed as the last Kenobi, the heir of Mandalore, or a Jedi. Although she was in fact two of those things, she definitely was never going to be a Jedi again, there was too much darkness still within her.

As the thought of Jedi and darkness crossed her mind, she wondered where Rey had gone. Since arriving and being told they couldn't cross the waters, she hadn't seen her. Y/N was still worrying about Rey, and how she might be handling the news that Palpatine was her grandfather. But it turned out she didn't have to wonder for long.

In the distance, back towards the Falcon, she heard Finn calling her name and waving to get her attention, and she stood up and took off running back towards him to find out what the problem was.

"What is it?" She asked, slowly to a halt when she approached him.

"It's Rey, she's gone after the Wayfinder." He hastily explained, and her face dropped at that news.

"How? I thought it wasn't safe to cross." She turned her attention to Jannah, who was stood beside Finn.

"It isn't." She confirmed, seemingly less hostile now than she had been earlier. Perhaps Finn had convinced her that Y/N wasn't a threat anymore. "She's taken the Skimmer, she might not make it."

"Trust me, she'll make it." She mumbled, understanding Rey's determination but wishing that she had at least not gone alone. "Do you have another one of those?" She then asked Jannah.

"I'm afraid not. But your ship is just about ready to go, I'm sure they could drop you over there." She suggested, but Y/N was tuning out when she felt a presence approaching.

But how could he have found them? She knew it wasn't because of her this time...

"Are you okay?" Jannah awkwardly asked, but Finn quickly realised what she was sensing.

"It's Ren, isn't it." He said, and she slowly nodded to confirm his suspicions.

"I don't know how he found us, I've been keeping him out since we got here." She explained, and Jannah looked confused but remained silent. Finn obviously hadn't mentioned the dyad, but she couldn't blame him, it wasn't likely to make her more popular amongst the locals.

"Palpatine must have told him." Her tone was evidently bitter now. She was becoming more and more frustrated that Kylo couldn't see the manipulation that was staring him in the face. "But we don't have long, you need to get me over there."

"I'll tell Poe." Finn nodded, dashing back on board the Falcon, leaving her alone with Jannah.

"You're not the same as how I remember you." She commented, and Y/N assumed that was a compliment.

"How do you remember me?" She raised an eyebrow, genuinely curious.

"It's hard to explain. But I remember seeing you and Kylo Ren fight in the middle of Starkiller Base a long time ago. You seemed so defensive and angry, but not at him, almost like you were angry that you were there in the first place." She explained, and it sparked some memories for Y/N. Memories from when she had first woken up.

"I probably was. I didn't join the First Order by choice, and I lost thirty years of my life and everything I knew - the only way I knew how to react was with anger. At the start Ren was just an easy place to direct it." She almost missed those days when her and Kylo would constantly be at each other's throats, everything had been a lot simpler back then.

"Poe said he can get you over there." Finn emerged in a hurry, and not a moment too soon as a TIE Fighter came flying overhead, presumably carrying Kylo.

She feared that she couldn't defeat Palpatine without Kylo's help, and something in the Force told her that this would be her last chance to reach him. She was worried about Rey and the inevitable pull to the dark side, but she knew she had to get through to Kylo - no matter what.

><><><><><><><><><

When the boys dropped her off, she told them to get back to the mainland and finish repairs. Kylo's energy through the Force felt erratic, and she didn't want anybody getting caught in the crosshairs.

She could sense Rey in the throne room, and Kylo still navigating his way around. At least she had the advantage of knowing her way around.

It was eerie moving through the wreckage, she still recognised so much of the landscape, but she tried to stay focused on getting to Rey. It began to prove difficult as she rounded the final corner that led to the throne room and saw the carbon freezing chamber.

She couldn't help herself, she had to take a detour. When she entered the chamber she immediately spotted a patch on the ground which was less damaged and faded than the rest of the floor. Judging by the size and shape of it, she assumed that this was where the First Order had found her frozen a few years ago now. She hadn't been aware of anything at the time, especially not Snoke keeping her frozen for a year until Kylo was ready for a rival.

"Maybe it would have been easier if they had just left me here." She quietly sighed under her breath, crouching down to gently brush her fingertips over the ground where she had been.

She knew she had gotten too distracted but suddenly her final conversation with Vader was playing over and over again in her head. He had known from day one that she was going to have to go in that chamber, he had given her his Saber to continue his legacy, but then turned back to the light.

Considering she still didn't know what her alleged 'destiny' was, and how Kylo was intertwined with that, it just made everything all the more confusing. But when she heard voices talking not far from her, likely to be Kylo and Rey in the throne room, she knew she couldn't spend any longer dwelling on the past.

When she quietly entered the throne room, Rey and Kylo were stood opposite one another. He had the Wayfinder outstretched in one of his gloved hands, and she could see his second hand inching towards his Saber.

Rey meanwhile looked stressed, fearful, and as though she was about to lose control. They were in Palpatine's domain now, and it was more than likely that she had seen a vision of what could be should she embrace the dark when she found the Wayfinder.

"The dark side is in your nature, surrender to it." He must have been aware of her presence, but he chose to remain focused on Rey. Whether that was to try and avoid having her intervene, or to avoid distracting himself, she couldn't tell.

"Give me the Wayfinder." Was all Rey replied with, but her voice was shaky. Evidently whatever she had seen had thrown her confidence.

"The only way you're going to Exegol-" he paused, the muscles beneath his tunic visibly constricting as he crushed the Wayfinder in his palm, "-is with me."

Clearly terrible circumstances aside, she couldn't shake the thought that watching him crush that Wayfinder as if it were nothing was somehow really hot.

Just as the thought crossed her mind, Kylo spun around to face her with fury in his eyes.

"Oh, so _that_ got your attention?" She hissed, Rey simply looking furious, but equally confused.

"You shouldn't be here." He snapped. Even if her silent comment had made him want to smirk and tease her like it once would have done, he certainly didn't show it now.

"Speak for yourself, I used to live here." She sarcastically snorted at him, before turning to Rey. "You need to get back to the others, now."

"But the Wayfinder-" she protested.

"Rey, just _go._ " She said, harshly. She knew Rey was confused, and struggling with the pull to the dark side, but now it was a question of whether Y/N would prioritise helping her or Kylo. She didn't even hesitate when it came to the answer.

Sure, Rey was the morally correct choice - she was the future of the Jedi Order after all. But Kylo... Kylo was her entire world, and she couldn't look past that, not this time. The Force drew her to him, and so did her heart.

Ignoring her words, Rey's Saber was drawn and swinging to attack Kylo out of sheer rage, but before it could come close to him Y/N swept in between them and blocked the attack with her own Saber.

Before Y/N could tell her again to get away from Kylo, which realistically she was trying to do for Rey's own benefit, Kylo was swinging at her from behind.

Sidestepping out of the way, she used Obi Wan's end of her Saber to counter Kylo, and suddenly she found herself pushing against not one, but two blades.

"Whose side are on?" Rey breathlessly asked her, beginning to struggling in the three-way standoff.

"My own, isn't that obvious?" She expressed, grunting at the strain of pushing against both Sabers. Her side wasn't necessarily the _wrong_ side, it just wasn't exactly the same as the Resistance's side.

"Enough of this." Kylo muttered, pushing Y/N aside using the Force and letting her hit the floor with a thud. "You're coming to Exegol Rey, you can't run from it anymore than I can."

As she pulled herself back to her feet she registered his words: _'anymore than I can.'_ That combined with Kylo's even more erratic energy had her suspecting that Palpatine had contacted him in the time since they had escaped Steadfast. No doubt the Emperor had threatened him into completing his mission, or told him that he would suffer the consequences.

It was an ultimatum she had heard many times, and she had suffered those exact consequences many times. She didn't want Kylo to befall the same suffering.

She was just in time to watch Kylo and Rey swinging at one another, but Kylo had a new drive and rage backing him, whilst Rey was distracted and struggling with her emotions. She was quickly knocked back, which was when Y/N saw her window to take over.

Sweeping in, she spun her staff around her head and towards Kylo's back, knowing that this would force him to turn and focus on her. As predicted, his blade struck her own, and she was quick to side step and direct him towards the gaping hole in the side of the Death Star.

With Kylo's back now facing the hole, she took her chance to get him out of the throne room and away from Rey. She knew a push from the Force would be what he expected, so she had to think on her feet - unfortunately something that Vader did occasionally inherit from Anakin Skywalker were his erratic tendencies, which therefore meant she had also inherited them, and this was one of those erratic moments. Without thinking twice, she withdrew her Saber and went charging towards Ren, using her entire body weight to tackle him out of the throne room.

Both of them went hurtling towards the ground, Kylo still viciously trying to swing at her in midair, probably venting his anger that she had just taken getting him away from Rey to the extreme.

Something she hadn't considered was what might be below them, and it turned out to be more pieces of the wreckage. Not a moment too soon, they both were forced to momentarily ignore each other to ensure their own safe landings by using the Force.

When she landed, she glanced up to where they had fallen from and saw Rey staring over the edge, and hopefully she would stay there. But she couldn't give that much thought right now since she had Kylo swinging at her out of sheer rage.

"You couldn't have just stayed out of it-" he snarled as she reignited her Saber, using just Vader's blade to counter his attack.

"And by 'stayed out of it,' do you mean stayed chained up in that cell you wanted to leave me in?" She snidely remarked, deciding not to go on the offensive with him this time. She blocked every attack he sent her way, but refused to retaliate. The thing she always forgot about the dyad was that they fed off each other's emotions. She had been channelling so much anger that she realised there was no way she could expect Kylo to see sense when he was feeding off her emotions and actions.

She remembered lessons taught to her both by Obi Wan and Vader: even Jedi feel anger, it's about choosing whether or not to act on it, and that rage is a powerful weapon, but only when channeled correctly. Perhaps it was time for her to find a healthy balance between the two of those.

"I was going to finish this, then come back for you." He was almost yelling in between his strikes. Around them waves were crashing, drenching them both as she was pushed backwards across the wreckage, deflecting his strikes with every step.

"You don't make those decisions for me, Kylo." She yelled back, their red blades slicing through the water which was constantly flying overhead. "I thought by now you'd realise that I can look after myself, you must be able to see that what you're doing is wrong! Working with Palpatine? I can feel it tearing you apart."

He only responded with a guttural roar and began swinging at her even more viciously, possibly because he knew she was right and he was trying to avoid the truth. But she knew she had to persist, he was on the cusp of letting go of his pride and admitting to himself that Palpatine was manipulating him - she had watched him go through this exact cycle of rage with Snoke.

Their pattern continued, but as Kylo's movements gained speed and force she ignited Obi Wan's Saber, and used the staff to continue deflecting his strikes - at this point she needed the extra protection. Even though his movements weren't especially calculated or precise, this was how Kylo fought best. His intentions were always to push his opponents backwards, and he was succeeding in that since she refused to retaliate.

"Fight back!" He barked, as if he was ordering her. It was obvious that he was frustrated that she wasn't showing any rage towards him now, he couldn't feed off her emotions.

"This is me fighting back-" she said, pausing as she raised her staff to protect her face from another swing, "-it's just that I'm not fighting against you anymore, I'm fighting against Palpatine. He's taken everything from me, I won't let him take you too."

Her comment visibly resonated with him for a split second, but just as quickly he was back to viciously swinging at her. When they had fought aboard the Finalizer on the day she had left the First Order, neither of them had the intention of harming the other, but now things seemed different. Kylo seemed truly intent on getting her out of the way, whether she was hurt in the process or not.

Over Kylo's shoulder she could see Rey running towards them, but before she could approach Y/N sent her flying backwards using the Force. However, this distraction had broken her block pattern which meant that Kylo's next swing struck her upper arm, leaving behind a deep wound. It was a burning pain she had felt only a few times before, and it caused her to drop her Saber on reflex, her opposite hand shooting over to clutch the painful spot. The invasion of ocean water on the wound was thankfully providing some mild relief.

She felt a spike in Kylo's emotions, and at first she thought it must have been his pain receptors, feeling the same singeing pain that she was. But then she felt an incredible amount of guilt, and although he was sharing her pain, he was also immediately regretting harming her in the first place. His eyes widened as they stared at each other, almost as if he was only just becoming aware of his actions.

"Palpatine will want me dead. You kill me right now, and he'll praise you." She quietly said, and he stepped towards her, still looking unsure of himself. She couldn't tell if he was finally breaking free of the manipulation, or if he was indeed about to finish the job.

Eventually he dropped his Saber, not paying it any mind as the hilt hit the floor, nearby where she had dropped her own.

"I'm so sorry." He mumbled, gently taking her face in both of his hands. The waves continued to crash around them, but they both just stared at each other through soaking wet hair.

One of her hands moved to rest atop of his as she leaned into his familiar touch. She had been beginning to think she'd never have a tender moment like this with him again. If she had known that getting injured would have been the thing that shakes him back to reality, she would've let him wound her back aboard Steadfast.

However, the peace never did seem to last for them. An angry roar approached them, and Kylo spun around just in time to dodgy Rey's Saber - in all fairness it probably had looked a bit like he was strangling Y/N from Rey's point of view.

"Rey, don't!" She tried to protest, but Kylo had already summoned his Saber back to his hand and was retaliating.

She could see the difference in the way he fought now, he was less sure of himself, and she knew it was because the light was starting to seep through... he just needed one final push, a push she feared she couldn't give him.

Her own hilt came flying back to her hand, and she split into two blades before pursuing Rey and Kylo to try and break up the fight. Surely now they all shared the common goal of killing Palpatine - they could iron out the rest of their differences afterwards. As she approached them she forced herself to ignore the pain coming from her arm.

"We need to finish this!" Rey snarled back, and it became abundantly clear that the darkness was consuming her and beginning to control her actions.

Despite what many Jedi may argue, in her personal experience, she had found that the best way to fight the dark side was by using the dark side. After all, the phrase was 'fight fire with fire,' not 'fight fire with water.'

She looked to Kylo, it was obvious that he wasn't now invested enough in the dark side to fully harness its power, which meant that it was down to her.

Y/N stood back for a moment, away from the fight, as she focused on the root of her anger, willing it to come to the surface.

Her mother's murder before her very eyes, hiding during Order 66, being exiled to Tatooine, watching her father die, having her memories stolen, waking up from carbon freezing, and being forced out of the First Order... _Palpatine._

At the end of the day, it all boiled down to Palpatine.

With her anger bubbling to the surface, she let out an almighty roar and threw herself back into the fray. By tapping into her innermost hatred and anger, she had unlocked a power she remembered reading about in Sith texts: Force rage. Her speed, strength and ferocity were all immediately increased, and she was pushing Rey back with ease. She was even able to forgo feeling pain from her wound for a short amount of time.

Rey was undeniably powerful, but she still wasn't truly connected to the dark side, merely being tempted by its call. She couldn't possibly outmatch Y/N whilst she was channelling her rage like this.

It wasn't long before Rey was falling to the floor, uninjured, but wholly defeated. Y/N still had one hand on the wheel when it came to her actions, and she wasn't going to allow herself to actually hurt either Rey or Kylo.

What she didn't anticipate however was the fatigue that would creep up on her as she drained her own power, she was losing energy faster than she was channelling it. She was fighting against her own body as it burned to rest.

As Y/N's onslaught weakened, Rey was able to scramble back to her feet in between blocking strikes. Kylo meanwhile was just staring in disbelief, he had never seen Y/N fight like that, and he felt the spike in dark energy. But now he could feel it rapidly declining, he knew that she was postponing the inevitable, and he knew she couldn't keep up the energy and power that she was currently displaying. She was on the brink of a burn out.

Kylo saw Rey make a stabbing motion with her Saber, in anticipation of blocking Y/N's next attack. But Kylo could tell that Y/N's attack would never make it, which meant that Rey's blade would unintentionally be going through her chest.

In that moment, his fight or flight kicked in. His only instinct was to get her out of the way, so he lunged and pushed Y/N aside just as she was on the verge of collapsing to the ground, and she did exactly that as Kylo took her place.

As predicted, Rey's block inadvertently became an attack, and her Saber pierced Kylo right in the side of his stomach. Her eyes widened the second she stabbed him, any dark instincts fleeting from her body. She was having a similar moment of realisation to the one he'd had just mere minutes ago.

The burning pain, now not only on Y/N's arm but her side as well, wasn't helping as she pushed herself up off the floor just long enough to see the panic on Rey's face as Kylo fell to the ground. Only when she saw that did the burning pain in her side register as being his, not hers.

"No-" she hoarsely muttered, summoning all of her remaining strength to stumble over and fall beside Kylo's body. He was seated upright, his back against a piece of the wreckage.

"I-I didn't mean to..." Rey's shaky voice trailed off as she attempted to process her loss of emotions and control.

Y/N didn't respond, she could slowly feel her strength returning to her, but at the same time she felt Kylo's disappearing. She rested one hand over his wound, perhaps hoping to clot it - but this was a wasted effort, they silently both knew that he could never survive this.

"I can't lose you, not now." She eventually whispered, pressing her forehead to his.

In the distance Finn, Poe, Jannah and even Hux were watching, having landed with the Falcon, nearby Kylo's TIE.

She was pretty sure that tears were filling her eyes, but with the amount of water that was already cascading down her face it was hard to tell. But if the heart wrenching feeling she was experiencing was anything to go by, then she would definitely assume that there were tears mixed in with that ocean water.

Kylo himself seemed unable to form any words, as if he were stunned that he was in this situation at all. He'd barely had time to address his own confusion when it came to Palpatine and the manipulation that he had only just become self-aware of... but now it seemed as though he wouldn't have to.

The Force was screaming at her, so much that it was giving her a headache. Kylo was dying, that much was clear, but it felt as though she was expected to do something about it. This wasn't the same as when she found him in the forest aboard Starkiller, he had been wounded, but not so fatally. She was able to pull him back to consciousness long enough to keep him alive, but this time he was bleeding out.

They stared into each other's eyes for a few timeless moments, then a memory involuntarily pushed its way to the front of her mind.

She had watched Rey use her inherit power from Palpatine to heal the serpent back in the Forbidden Desert of Pasaana, she had used the energy of the Force. Y/N knew that she didn't posses that same power, it didn't run in her family, but Kylo was different. They were connected by the Force, which surely meant she could transfer her power over to him.

After collapsing from tapping into her rage to contest Rey, she sill felt weakened, but she summoned every ounce of strength she had left to try and save him. One hand moved to press against his wound, and she shut her eyes, focusing on nothing but transferring her energy over to him.

She could feel herself being drained, but she continued to push through until she couldn't physically go on without giving up her entire life force in the process. When her eyes fluttered open again, she saw Kylo looking back at her, and when she glanced at his wound the only blood she could see was dried on her hand - the stab wound was gone.

Perhaps she had transferred him more power than she had needed to, because when she looked back at his face the scar that had split up from his shoulder to his eyebrow was healed.

"I can't believe that actually worked-" she muttered in disbelief as she gently traced where the scar had once been with her finger.

"You didn't have to do that." He muttered, and she could feel his connection to the dark side dwindling with every word.

"I know." She hoarsely replied, her body screaming at her for rest.

She noticed something within herself, something that even Kylo wouldn't feel. For the first time in as long as she could remember, possibly her entire life, the Force was silent. She had known that her actions had been dictated by the Force for a long time, like when it had urged her to hide during Order 66, or when it had constantly pointed her towards Kylo Ren, but now there was nothing. She didn't realise just how loud it had been until it was gone.

There was now silence, and they were reluctant to address the elephant in the room: was Kylo done fighting her and working with Palpatine for good? Or was he going to go back to the Emperor?

It was clear that he was still conflicted, and confused, and she knew that now the decision was out of her hands. She had to make sure that Rey wasn't going to fall to the dark side, not to mention killing Palpatine.

"Rey's gone." As if he had read her mind, Poe came rushing over to where she was crouched beside Ren. He made an effort to entirely ignore Kylo's presence, possibly because he thought that Y/N should have let him die.

"What do you mean she's gone?" She looked up, confused.

"I mean she's taken the TIE Fighter, and left. We need to get back to the Resistance." He told her, and she slowly nodded, understanding what he was implying.

"Just give me a minute." She prompted him to give her and Kylo some space, which he did.

She knew that Kylo couldn't go with them. Perhaps Leia may welcome her son back with open arms, but she doubted anyone else would, besides she assumed that he wouldn't _want_ to go with them.

"I know you think you're irredeemable-" She told him, pushing some of the wet strands of hair away from his face, "-but so am I. It doesn't mean you have to stay on this path."

"Then what do I do?" He quietly asked.

"I can't tell you that." She sighed, "But my father told me that I need to choose between what I think is right and what makes me happy, but I don't want to choose anymore. I don't care if it makes me selfish, I want them both, and I know you do too. So just ask yourself: does working with Palpatine feel right? Does it make you happy?"

Kylo opened his mouth to respond, but she stood up before he could speak. Her question was rhetorical, this wasn't something they needed to discuss, it was something he had to decide for himself.

As she turned to walk back to the Falcon, she felt a familiar pull in the Force through their connection. Leia was reaching out to her son, and now if anybody could give him the final push he needed to come back, it was her.

She didn't have the energy to summon her Saber back to her hand, so instead she bent over to pick it up as she walked back. When she boarded the ship she was followed by Poe, Finn and Jannah.

Chewie wasted no time in getting them off the ground, and Y/N wasted no time in dropping her soaking wet cloak and throwing herself down onto the seats in the hull. She laid back, and shut her eyes, wanting nothing more than to give into the exhaustion she was feeling. Hux was already on board, the most likely explanation for that was that he hadn't wanted to get wet... or see Kylo.

"Am I crazy, or did you just save the Supreme Leader's life?" Jannah asked.

She opened one eye to look at her briefly, before closing it again, "no, you're not crazy, that's exactly what I did." She mumbled.

"And why exactly would you do that?" Her tone seemed more harsh now, she had barely managed to get over her and Hux being in her presence, but saving Kylo Ren's life was understandably a red flag.

"It's a long story, but I'm nursing nothing short of a Force hangover right now, so it can wait." She was only half invested in the conversation.

"No, it can't wait. How am I expected to trust you if you're still loyal to the Supreme Leader?" Despite Y/N having her eyes shut, she could tell that Jannah was now pointing some kind of weapon at her face.

"Easy Jannah, Y/N's right, it's a long story." Finn tried to step in, but with little success.

One of her eyes once again peaked open, and she heaved a heavy sigh as the other eye then followed. She pushed Jannah's spear away from her face and sat up, wincing at the pain from her arm.

"I don't expect you to trust me, and I don't particularly need you to. I'm here to kill Palpatine, which I couldn't do with Kylo working against me... or dead for that matter." She stifled a yawn, standing up as she did so, "now if you'll excuse me, I _really_ need to nap." Without another word to trudged off to the bunks. She assumed that Finn, and possibly even Hux, could fill Jannah in on the rest.

As soon as she hit the slightly-hard mattress in the bunk, she practically passed out, not caring about her wet hair, clothes, or Saber wound. She needed to get her energy back, and sleep was the only way to do that now.

Kylo, Palpatine and Rey were all problems for when she would wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii, so my Masters degree is starting this week which means I'll apologise in advance if posting chapters becomes a bit erratic! I won't have as much time for writing this fic as normal!


	35. Chapter Thirty Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Rey and Kylo now both seemingly gone Y/N is on her own, and when a route to Exegol finally comes within her reach, she reaches out elsewhere for help.

_Darth Andal._

Her eyes snapped open and she sat bolt upright as she heard her old name, crystal clear as if someone were speaking to her in person. It had shaken her awake, and when she glanced at the chrono she realised she had only slept for a few hours. They must have been back on Ajan Kloss by now, but no doubt everyone had been too scared to interrupt her sleep.

She elected to ignore the eerie voice that had reached out to her for now and go and find out what was happening with the Resistance. When she left the bunk and went back to the hull, she found Hux anxiously tapping his foot.

"At last!" He let out an exasperated sigh.

"What are you doing on board? We're landed." She raised an eyebrow, still groggy from her nap.

"You think I'm going out there alone? They'll crucify me!" He jumped to his own defence, and she let out a dry laugh.

"You're probably right." She shrugged.

"That's not helping." He then hissed in response.

"Okay, I'll be your bodyguard, but I'd leave Millicent here if I were you." She glanced at the cat who was happily curled up on Obi Wan's old cloak.

Hux reluctantly agreed and sheepishly followed her down the boarding ramp. As predicted, many eyes were looking in their direction, but it felt good to know that they were now aimed at Hux rather than her.

"Good, you're awake." A familiar voice approached her.

"Kylo- is he?" She hesitated to ask Leia the all important question about Kylo. She knew that his mother had contacted him as she had been fleeing from Endor.

"I don't know," Leia regretfully sighed, "it's in his hands now."

Y/N slowly nodded in response, and soon the General's eyes fell on Hux.

"Not long ago you would have been dead on the spot for showing up here, but Poe told me what you've done for the Resistance. Any help you can give us from here will be appreciated." She didn't snap at Hux, or treat him like the enemy. On the contrary, she spoke to him with respect.

"That's the Princess' polite way of saying you've earned your life." She teased him, and the ex-General almost gulped at those words.

Leia gave Hux a somewhat sympathetic look, "I can't say everyone will be as hospitable as me."

"I understand." He nodded, finally reaping the consequences of his actions.

"Good, I'll have someone show you to the control centre." She summoned over a nearby officer, whose disdain at Hux's presence was evident.

Hux shot Y/N a slightly fearful look.

"You'll be fine, you've gone nose to nose with Kylo Ren." She smirked, reminding him of who he was... although now he was like a fish out of water.

As Hux was lead away, Leia's focus fell completely on the young Kenobi.

"Let's get you to medical." She suggested, noticing the deep gash on her arm.

"It's fine-" she immediately tried to protest.

"Medical." Leia insisted, using a sterner tone. Y/N figured that there was no point in arguing.

"Lead the way." She sighed, reluctantly following Leia through the base.

It had been a long time since she had seen a medical centre operating without any droids. Her wounds would usually be tended quickly by med-droids, but she had an actual person (a Twi'lek to be exact) currently applying Bacta to her arm.

She felt immediately soothed, and once the Twi'lek took her leave, Leia spoke again.

"Tell me what happened." She calmly said, taking a seat beside her on the cot she was sat on.

"Rey found out the truth about Palpatine, and when she found the Wayfinder something snapped in her, she let that darkness momentarily take control." Y/N began to explain, Leia keeping any thoughts to herself until she was done speaking. "Kylo destroyed the Wayfinder, and I let him attack me but refused to fight back. Eventually he wounded me-" she gestured to the bandaged patch on her arm, "-and he snapped out of his own anger long enough to question his motivations. Then to cut a long story short, Rey accidentally stabbed him and I did... _something,_ and managed to heal him."

"I felt Ben's presence for the first time since I lost him to Snoke." Leia admitted, "you gave him the push he needed, you saved my son."

"You really think he'll turn back to the light?" Y/N asked, having not allowed herself to believe that Kylo, or Ben, would turn back.

"That's not my concern right now, I just needed him to turn away from Palpatine, and without you I don't think he would have." Leia gently placed a hand on her shoulder, and she responded with a small smile.

"Without him working against me, now I can focus on Palpatine." Y/N hopped off the cot and back to her feet. Although she was still exhausted, adrenaline was taking over.

_That's right, come to me young one._

The intrusion of a voice in her head that wasn't Kylo's startled her, and she stumbled back a few steps.

"Y/N? What's wrong?" Leia asked, taking ahold of her arm to steady her.

She thought hard for a moment, trying to piece the puzzle together in her own mind before deciding what to say to Leia. But eventually she spoke, "nothing, just a bad head rush."

After that lousy excuse, she was quick to excuse herself to go back to her tiny bunk, where she immediately sat crosslegged on the floor. She knew who that voice belonged to, and if he was reaching out to her, that meant he was desperate.

Her eyes fluttered closed as she searched the Force for the origin of the voice.

"Emperor Palpatine." she spoke clearly into the dark side of the Force, knowing that he was listening.

"Darth Andal, I knew you would hear me. I must say I was surprised to learn that you were alive... even after his death, my apprentice still surprises me."

"I didn't know that he was planning on saving me, my Lord." She played along with him for now, curious as to how much he knew about her, and as to what he wanted from her now. "How did you know I was still alive?"

"It is my business to know, young one." His disembodied voice let out a sinister laugh. "Kylo Ren seems to be unable to keep you out of his head." His tone now was almost a taunting one. Did he know about the dyad?

"I was forced to adapt to this world, and my Master's grandson seemed like a good person to ally myself with." She attempted to play off anything regarding their relationship, which seemingly worked.

"You've done well, Darth Andal. Perhaps I overlooked your skills in the past, but now... now you've proven yourself to be a true survivor, and ally of the Sith."

She tried not to project any of her confusion to Palpatine, but she was beginning to get a sense of the bigger picture. Kylo had obviously been unable to hide that he had some kind of affiliation from her, but aside from that the Emperor seemed to know nothing.

He had no idea that she had regained her memories and he had no idea that she was working with the Resistance with the sole intent of killing him. He only called on her now because she was his last hope - ironic really. Kylo Ren had failed him, and now in his desperation he turned to the woman who had served as a constant reminder that his apprentice would never fully shake his ties to the Jedi.

"Thank you, my Lord." She responded to him, trying to keep her voice level, "I'm ready to serve you, as I once did."

"Excellent." He sneered, "come to Exegol, we will find my granddaughter and end the Jedi once and for all."

"Ren destroyed the Wayfinder, how am I supposed to get to Exegol?" This time her curiosity was genuine. If Palpatine really was about to give her a route to Exegol, then he could be sealing his own fate.

"There is another way young apprentice, but you must find the droid."

><><><><><><><><><

After only a few mere hours of adjusting to the Force being silent, it was once again screaming at her. But rather than directing her to Kylo, now it willed her to go to Exegol.

Going alone perhaps was not her most responsible idea, but with no Kylo and no Rey, she couldn't ask anyone else to face Palpatine alongside her - it was too dangerous. This was her burden to bear, her revenge to seek. She was determined to finish this alone, and the Force willed her to do so.

As Kylo crossed her mind, she was forced to push her growing concern for him aside. He was alive, that much she was certain of, but anything aside from that was a blur. His energy was all over the place, not in the same way as when he had been under Palpatine's thumb, this time it was fluctuating rapidly between light and dark.

Nevertheless, with Kylo now not actively working against her she felt much more in tune with the Force. Perhaps she actually stood a chance against a weakened Palpatine.

The Emperor had instructed her to locate the droid D-O, which had once belonged to Ochi. Miraculously, she didn't have to look further than the Falcon cockpit. She had remembered seeing the small droid aboard, and he was still there.

"I'm not going to hurt you." She insisted to the nervous little droid, who was anxiously pacing back and forth on his one wheel.

"N-no t-thank you." He simply replied in his synthetic voice, which was sporadically breaking - most likely due to years aboard Ochi's abandoned ship.

"I just need to access your memory banks, then I'll leave you alone." She pressed, and the droid went silent, seemingly knowing exactly what information she wanted.

"M-memory banks a-are encrypted." He responded, and she pursed her lips. Anything mechanical wasn't her strong suit, but she knew who could help her.

She locked herself in the Falcon, the only other living being aboard was Millicent, who was still happy minding her own business.

Inhaling a deep breath, she focused her mind and projected her thoughts out into the light side of the Force.

"Anakin-" She quietly said, reaching out into the Force.

To her surprise, her old Master responded almost immediately, as if he had been awaiting her call.

"Droid troubles?" He quipped, manifesting before her in a pale blue light, just as he had done back on Crait.

"Wow that really worked." She muttered, before shaking her head and focusing herself back on the situation at hand, "I need your help decrypting the droid's memory banks."

"So you can find Exegol?" He raised an eyebrow, his arms folding across his chest.

"Do you spend all of your time just eavesdropping on my life, Master? Because if you do, that's a bit creepy." She snorted, teasing him. When he was Vader she would have never dared to speak to him in such a way, but Anakin was different.

"Oh please, you have a conversation with Palpatine through the Force and think that I _didn't_ hear it? You were lucky that only people close to you heard, you were practically tearing a whole in the Force to get yourself back to the dark side." He pointed out, and her brow furrowed.

Just as she opened her mouth the ask a question, Anakin answered it, "yes, that includes Obi Wan, and your boyfriend." The way the corner of his lips tugged upwards into the most subtle smirk caused her to roll her eyes. Vader had lacked this ability to tease her.

"He's not my-" she cut herself off. Was Kylo her boyfriend? He had very recently tried to kill her, but equally they did still love each other... "-whatever, that's not the point!" She quickly shook her head, exasperated. "Yes, I need to get to Exegol, and to do that I need to crack this droid's memory open."

"Okay, I'll help." Anakin shrugged.

"Just like that?" She narrowed her eyes, "I say I'm going to go off to singlehandedly kill Palpatine, and you're not even going to try and talk me out of it?"

"Do I look like Obi Wan to you?" He snorted, "you'll need to hook him up to the central processing unit onboard."

The way he so quickly jumped back to business left her suspicious. She thought Anakin would have more to say on the matter, especially where Palpatine was concerned. But nevertheless, if he wasn't going to try and stop her she needn't worry. She followed his instructions to the letter and soon had a flight plan marked to Exegol, all she had to do from there was get D-O hooked up to the navigation of an X-Wing.

"Good job you can put it on auto-pilot, otherwise you'd have no hope of flying yourself there." He teased her, and she scoffed back at him.

"And whose fault is that? You were the best pilot in the galaxy and you couldn't have given me a few lessons?"

He paused for a moment, trying to think up some kind of excuse, but he drew a blank, "okay fair point."

"Think you can ask Luke for some advise on how to kill Palpatine?" She jokingly rolled her eyes, "then again maybe not, it's not like he stayed dead."

Anakin looked confused, which caused her to mimic his expression, "what?" She asked.

"It wasn't Luke who killed Palpatine- besides he's preoccupied right now." Anakin explained.

"Wow, busy day in the afterlife is it?" She teased, silently wondering what Luke could be doing. Little did she know that he was on Ahch-To counselling Rey back to the light. "So if Luke didn't kill Palpatine..." She trailed off as the penny dropped. " _You?"_ She spluttered.

"Me." He looked so smug, and proud of himself, but she was quick to burst that bubble.

"You didn't do a very good job though, did you." She smirked, although internally she was still reeling from that revelation. Since waking up, she'd had many of these moments of realisation, she wasn't sure she could handle many more.

"Well, I hope I did a good enough job training you so you can finish what I started." The way he smiled at her told her that their time was coming to an end.

"So what do I do?" She outright asked him, not knowing in the slightest how to go about fighting the Emperor.

"Just trust me; in the moment, you'll know what to do." He encouraged her, and slowly nodding she headed to leave the Falcon, D-O on her heels.

"Y/N, wait. One more thing." Anakin's voice caught her attention, and she turned back around to face him.

"Whatever happens, and whatever you do, remember that Obi Wan and I will stand behind you." His words were cryptic, but she could at least make enough sense of them to know that he was encouraging her to finish Palpatine once and for all.

"Thank you, Master." She respectfully nodded at him, before he vanished, once again leaving her alone with Millicent and D-O.

The ginger cat seemed to have really taken to her cloak, and she decided to leave it aboard the Falcon. Not only for Millicent to continue sleeping on, but because the last place she wanted to lose her father's cloak was Exegol.

When she left the Falcon, she began to calmly walk towards the X-Wings. She figured if she looked confident in what she was doing then nobody would question her... but she didn't account for the people who actually knew her.

"Y/N!" Poe jogged up to her, and she turned to him, trying to force a polite smile.

"What's up Dameron?" She asked, nonchalantly.

"Leia's holding an emergency briefing, for all he's worth Hugs may have given us some useful intel, we just need to find out how to get to Exegol." He rapidly explained, and she slowly nodded, feeling slightly guilty that she had the route to Exegol rolling around at her feet.

"Uh- okay, yeah. Give me a minute and I'll meet you there, I just have something important to do first." She attempted to blag, and thankfully with some success.

"Okay, see you in a minute." Poe rushed off just as quickly as he had appeared.

She exhaled a breath, before counting her lucky stars that with everyone attending Leia's briefing, nobody would be around to stop her from 'borrowing' an X-Wing.

D-O seemed much less hesitant than he had before, perhaps spending even a small amount of time around her proved that she wasn't intending to harm him. He voluntarily connected himself up to the navigation system and mapped out the auto-pilot route to Exegol. It looked like it was going to be a bumpy journey, all the way out to the Unknown Regions... it was just as well that she wasn't going to be the one flying.

"Sorry Princess." She muttered under her breath as they took off, knowing that she was betraying the Resistance by going alone, but equally she was following the will of the Force. If she had stayed with the Resistance, who knows when, or even if, she would have made it to Exegol.

As predicted, the journey was rocky, and the closer she got to her destination the more she felt the dark side pulling her back into its grasp. She hadn't entirely renounced the dark, but she could now feels its power as strongly as she had since not long before Snoke's death - back when she had been on the brink of becoming a true Sith Lord.

Part of her wondered if that had something to do with Kylo... wherever in the galaxy he was. Generally the closer one strayed to the light, the further the other was pushed to the dark. But equally if Kylo himself was falling in between the two, naturally she should have been as well.

None of that mattered as she was landing, she forced herself to eject any other thoughts from her mind. Not only because she needed to focus on the task at hand, but also because she knew that Palpatine would be able to read her - and she didn't need him finding out about the dyad.

Exegol was dark, as predicted. The terrain was rough, treacherous, and lightning seemed to constantly be striking. Although what really grabbed her attention was the massive fleet of Star Destroyers, just waiting to be deployed. Each was clearly equipped with enough fire power to demolish entire star systems, and the thought of them all being released into the galaxy made her feel sick to her stomach.

As she entered the caves beneath the fleet, where she could sense Palpatine to be, she thought it best to disconnect her two Sabers, drawing Vader's and using it to light her path, and storing Obi Wan's on her belt behind her. She wanted Palpatine to truly believe that she was the same Sith apprentice whom he had thrived in hating.

"Darth Andal, I was starting to lose faith in you." Even now, his ominous voice taunted her.

She stood on what seemed to be a rudimentary turbo-lift, and it carried her into the depths of the caves.

"I've given you no reason to doubt me, my Lord." She calmly responded, "I will not fail you as my Master did."

"You know of Vader's betrayal?" His voice questioned her as she slowly paced through the caverns, all marked by ancient runes of the Sith. She immediately recognised her error in mentioning Anakin turning back to the light, but she thought she could talk her way out of it.

"The Force has shown me many truths since the First Order woke me up from carbon freezing. I saw him betray you in his final moments." She walked past what looked like numerous bacta-tanks, but the nature of these she couldn't identify.

"Interesting..." He mused, "your power has grown, I sense that." She rounded another corner, coming into an open cavern, with masses of Sith loyalists surrounding it.

Before she could reply, what looked like a giant mechanical arm came flying into view, and it spun around to revel Palpatine... in the flesh.

She inhaled a sharp breath, immediately retracting her Saber and taking to one knee just on reflex.

"Perhaps I was wrong to doubt you for all of those years. You have the skills of Vader, but without his weakness. Kylo Ren failed me, because he was weak, but _you,_ you are not." He was clearly frail. He looked decrepit, as if he were barely alive.

"You're right, I'm not weak." She mumbled, rising to her feet. When she looked up and met Palpatine's dull yellow eyes, her own had a fire burning behind them. "Even after you took my entire life from me, you still couldn't make me weak."

A dark, mocking laugh left his lips, "and there she is, Darth Andal, the apprentice who never did learn her place." He didn't seem surprised by her sudden change in attitude, and that unnerved her.

"If you'd had your way, my place would have been at the bottom of a ditch." She snapped.

"Perhaps." A sickening smirk crossed him lips, "but now I see... _potential._ "

She still didn't make any move to attack. Admittedly she was curious as to what 'potential' Palpatine saw. As if reading her mind, he expanded on his statement.

"You harbour so much anger, untapped power. Once you were close to destroying your weaknesses and rising as a true Sith Lord - that ending can still be yours, you just have to take it." He was taunting her, dangling the power to kill him right in front of her face. But what grounded her was that, unlike Palpatine, she knew what her weakness was, or rather _who_ her weakness was. She would never sacrifice him for power.

"This time I'm choosing my own ending." She growled, throwing Vader's Saber towards Palpatine in one swift motion.

Back when she had tried this move with Snoke and it had failed, she should have noted not to try it again with someone as, if not more, powerful. Predictably, Palpatine's frail hand raised, freezing her blade in mid-air, and her hand along with it.

Even in his weakened state, he still held so much power over her, but she could see him struggling to hold her in place, so rather than pushing her Saber towards him, she threw all of her power into summoning it back to her hand.

Not expecting her change of tact, Palpatine's grip on her diminished, and she stumbled back a few steps when he let her go.

"Pathetic child. You may be stronger than you once were, but you still cannot beat me." He taunted her, "the Chosen One himself could not permanently destroy me, what hope is there for you?"

"He trained me, against your will. He ensured my survival for all of these years, and still guides me now." She held her Saber steady in front of her body - using Vader's preferred stance. "He brought balance to the Force."

"And you intend to finish what he started?" Palpatine sneered, "you have no hope."

"You're right. I'm no Chosen One, I'm not here because of an ancient prophecy - I'm here to avenge Anakin Skywalker, and my father." It did momentarily strike her that perhaps she washere partially because of destiny, and the Force guiding her, but she liked to think that she would have come here regardless of that.

" _Father?_ Palpatine practically spat, "so you do remember?" He then menacingly cackled, "you really think you can defeat me alone, young Kenobi?"

It felt odd to hear Palpatine use her real family name. She decided that she didn't like it, her name sounded venomous coming from his mouth.

"Enough of this." She hissed, this time opting to lunge at the Sith Emperor, swinging her Saber towards his head. However, for a frail clone, his body seemed to react quickly, and lightning quickly shot from his bony fingers.

She wasn't the submissive Sith apprentice he remembered, and she no longer had reason to blindly accept his torture. For the first time, her Saber moved to block the devastating lightning, rather than allow it to strike her.

Despite straining against the force of the attack, she stood her ground, determined to destroy Palpatine once and for all. She sensed someone approaching from behind, but was too preoccupied with the Emperor to block the blow to her back from the Sith Guards. Y/N tumbled to the ground, dropping her Saber, and opening herself up to the lightning in the process.

It was just as excruciatingly painful as she remembered, and only when she felt the force of Palpatine's lightning did she realise how much less painful Snoke's had been. A painful cry involuntarily left her lips, and despite the fact that he was visibly struggling to keep channeling the Force like this, Palpatine was clearly revelling in her defeat. 

"You were foolish to come here alone, girl." He jeered.

Why _had_ she come here alone? There was no valid reason other than the Force willing her to do so. Why would it encourage her to come here alone, just to die here alone?

After a few more moments of insufferable pain, her circumstances became a bit more clear. Palpatine withdrew, with no prior warning or clear reason as to why, but for a moment she was just grateful to catch her breath and try to recover.

"She's here." He ominously said, and Y/N could barely focus on his words.

It was only when Rey approached that she realised why Palpatine had elected to ignore her. The dark energy that had been teeming from Rey when Y/N had last seen her in the Endor system had dulled down to almost nothing, she wondered if Palpatine would be able to tell that his granddaughter was as far from the dark as she could get.

"Long have I waited for my grandchild to come home. I never wanted you dead, I wanted you here... Empress Palpatine." He now addressed Rey as she hesitantly walked towards him, seemingly ignoring Y/N, who could only assume that she had a plan. Surely they couldn't have both shown up here with no plan...

Y/N tried to haul herself to her feet, but one of the Sith Guards firmly placed his boot on her back, forcing her to remain glued to the ground.

As she watched the exchange taking place before her with bated breath, she felt something else coming - a third presence in the Force. One that was like a warm blanket around her shoulders, but didn't feel quite the same as she remembered it.

Kylo was on his way to her, but something was different. Although given her current predicament, she wouldn't complain.

Perhaps they still had a fighting chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo finally managed to get this posted!! so a few things:
> 
> 1) sorry this chapter is majorly lacking Kylo content - part of me forgot this is a reader slash and went full novel mode
> 
> 2) the wait for the next chapter won't be as long because I've nearly finished writing it already so hopefully I'll be back to weekly updates!
> 
> but yeahhh anyway, we're nearly at the end of this crazy journey


	36. Chapter Thirty Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the end in sight, Y/N finally discovers what her true destiny has been since the very beginning.

"I haven't come to lead the Sith, I've come to end them." Rey confidently told the Emperor, who didn't for a moment seem taken aback - similarly to how he had reacted when Y/N had tried to threaten him moments before.

"As a Jedi?" He sneered, and she was curious to hear the answer herself. Last time she had seen Rey she had almost been consumed by the darkness. But wherever she had been since leaving the Death Star wreckage, she had clearly found some clarity.

"Yes." Rey said, sharply glaring at her grandfather.

"No. Your hatred, your anger... do you want to kill me? That's what _I_ want. Kill me, and my spirit will pass into you, as all the Sith live in me. You will be Empress. We will be one." Palpatine slowly laid out what had clearly been his plan from the very beginning.

Y/N's back was beginning to ache from the pressure of the boot that was preventing her from moving, but she was much too invested in the exchange between Rey and Palpatine to do anything about it. Not to mention that in the back of her mind, she could feel Kylo approaching - he was nearby now.

When Rey refused to strike Palpatine down, the ceiling above them opened to reveal the Resistance fighters... or what was left of them, attempting to destroy the fleet. They were severely outnumbered, and outgunned. Every second another ship would explode, but she had no idea how they had even found Exegol without a Wayfinder or D-O. She could only assume Rey had something to do with it.

"They don't have long." He warned her, forcing her to watch the only family she had ever known be gunned down one by one. "No one is coming to help them, and _you_ are the one who led them here. Strike me down, take the throne, reign over a new Empire, and the fleet will be yours. Only you have the power to save them. Refuse, and your new family dies."

Rey looked overcome by emotion, and Y/N couldn't believe for one second that she was going to go through with Palpatine's ultimatum. But when Rey reluctantly nodded, she couldn't just lay on the floor and watch.

"Rey, don't." She grunted, wriggling one of her hands free to pull the Sith Guard's feet out from underneath him, finally freeing herself.

"You are too late, when my granddaughter takes the throne, she will end the Kenobi blood line once and for all!" Palpatine snarled, clearly wishing he had killed her much earlier.

"The same way you thought you had ended it all of those years ago?" She scoffed, summoning Vader's Saber back to her hands and raising it in Obi Wan's preferred defensive stance.

"Enough of your meddling. Guards-" Palpatine began his order, but was interrupted by Rey.

"-No. Let me." She said, raising Anakin's old Lightsaber.

"Excellent! You will strike her down, and take your revenge."

Palpatine looked made up to see his granddaughter offering to eliminate someone she had once called a friend, but when Y/N looked into the other woman's eyes saw something Palpatine didn't: the light. Rey was more of a Jedi than she could ever hope to be, and a simple pep-talk from her grandfather wasn't going to change that. She was playing him, and now Y/N knew to play along.

She could feel Kylo drawing closer, he was anxious to get to her in time, but something must have happened en-route, because Y/N felt a sharp blow to her back, causing her to visibly wince. Rey noticed this, and silently put two and two together. Help was coming, and there was no way Palpatine was powerful enough to stop a Skywalker, a Kenobi, and his own blood.

"With a stroke of her Saber, the Sith are reborn!" Palpatine continued his monologue, the Sith loyalists all chanting in response. "The Jedi are dead!"

Rey looked as though she was hesitating, but soon they both raised their Sabers in synchronisation, as if they were about to strike one another.

_I need you._

Kylo's voice in her head caused her to inhale a sharp breath, it had been so long since she had heard him. Without him explaining his situation, she understood what he needed from her - a way to defend himself.

_You really think this will work?_

She asked him, feeling him take another blow from whoever was attacking him.

_Yes._

He assured her, and she focused on the Force, on Kylo, and on Vader's Saber in her hand.

"Do it! Make the sacrifice!" Palpatine ordered, beginning to lose his patience with Rey's hesitation, but all she was doing was buying Y/N some time.

One minute it was there, the weight in her hand that she knew so well, the quiet humming of the blade, but suddenly it vanished - transported through the Force. The dyad was stronger than she had ever thought.

"I can't believe that actually worked." She muttered under her breath.

Y/N then revealed her empty hands to Rey and Palpatine, the latter losing his temper.

"All you want is for me to hate, but I won't. Not even you." Rey calmly told her grandfather as she lowered her weapon. He simply roared for his guards to destroy the pair of them. He knew he wasn't powerful enough to take them both on.

Y/N couldn't relate to Rey's words, because she truly did hate Palpatine, and wouldn't hesitate to strike him down given the opportunity.

"Your Saber!" Rey exclaimed, assuming that Y/N had now left herself defenceless.

"Don't worry, I brought a spare." She grinned, producing Obi Wan's Saber from behind her.

Just outside of the main cavern, Ben Solo was now in a predicament of his own. Back on the Death Star everything had changed for him, and he realised that perhaps Y/N had been right - it wasn't about being redeemable. He had also been reached by his mother, who told him that she would always forgive him. It had been enough for him to accept that Kylo Ren was dead, although he hadn't told Y/N that yet...

He knew he needed to get to her. He had heard so much about her supposed 'destiny' in the Force, but now he finally understood it, he could see it clearly even if she couldn't. But standing in his way were the Knights of Ren - suddenly an ironic name, and there was no Ren to lead them anymore.

The Knights had surrounded him, and as much as he wished he could convince them that they were on the wrong side, he knew that he didn't have the time or the power to do so anymore. They had been a headstrong brotherhood long since before he had claimed leadership over them, and despite the fact that he considered them his brothers and vice versa, this was only going to go one way.

When he felt a sudden weight in his hand, and a familiar humming noise, he couldn't quite believe it.

"I can't believe that actually worked." He muttered under his breath, turning to the Knights, now wielding his grandfather's Lightsaber. He had once dreamed of using this Saber - from the moment he had seen Darth Andal with it, and now this was finally his chance.

The Knights all stepped back, rightfully surprised. Ben simply gave a small shrug, much like everyone else the Knights had overlooked just how powerful the connection between Ben Solo and Y/N Kenobi was. He knew they would recognise the Lightsaber as belonging to her and from there put two and two together.

Now with the upper hand, Ben wasted no time in going on the offensive. Every muscle in his body screamed at him not to attack the Knights, but his brain forced the movement - it was kill, or be killed.

"You told us she was the traitor, and now what does that make you?" Ushar yelled in between watching his brothers attempt to defend themselves against their old master.

"I was wrong." Something Kylo Ren would never have admitted. "I should never have turned against her, and neither should you." He urged his Knights. She needed him now, and he wouldn't let them stand in his way.

"Master Ren, we don't want to do this. But you need to either stand down, or we _will_ kill you." Despite his helmet, Ushar's voice was now rich with emotion. None of them wanted to follow through with this conflict, but Palpatine had a way of tearing even the closest people apart.

Ben was now surrounded by the Knights, who had regrouped. He knew there was only one way to end this.

"I'm so sorry." Ben muttered, but his remorse had to be quickly and painstakingly pushed aside. He launched at his brothers, slicing them down one by one - making himself feel sick to his stomach. Part of him wanted to vomit, part of him wanted to breakdown into tears. He knew he could never mourn them, not knowing that he was the one who killed them.

Y/N had told him that they didn't need redemption, but she had only been half right. In his eyes, she didn't need to be redeemed, she had never chosen the path of the dark side. What she didn't realise, was that he did need redeeming, and she _was_ his redemption.

After moments of internal and physical torture, Ben was left surrounded by six corpses. Lives which he didn't even have a right to grieve for. He couldn't save his brothers, but he could save Y/N. Hell, he could even help save Rey - that would certainly help get him in the Resistance's good books.

Whilst Ben had been facing his own knights, Rey and Y/N had dealt with the municipal of Sith guards. Between the two of them, they were able to easily clear the room.

Using her father's Saber, Y/N prepared to slice through the final guard, but before she could he was pulled to the ground using the Force. In the distance she saw the one person she had been waiting for, with his hand raised.

In that moment she forgot about, Rey, Palpatine, the Final Order... all of it. She slowly approached him, cautiously even. His energy undeniably felt different through the Force, but did that really mean he had changed? Could this just be another of Palpatine's manipulations? Or perhaps she was getting too in her head.

"Kylo... are you-" She hesitantly began to ask, under her breath.

"Ben." Was all he replied with, and it told her all she needed to know. As much as she wanted to fall into his arms, there were more important matters at hand - matters that she couldn't allow herself to be distracted from.

With a simple nod, she turned around and walked towards Palpatine, still attached to his life support. Ben followed her, and they were joined by Rey. Together the three of them stood in a line opposite the frail Emperor, Saber's raised.

"Stand together, die together." He hissed, lightning striking all three of them.

Even whilst on death's door, the force of Palpatine's lightning was enough to cause them all to drop their Sabers, but whilst Rey simply fell the ground, Y/N and Ben felt a feedback through the Force before they also both hit the ground.

The Emperor had clearly also felt this feedback, and he looked at his hands in shock as they regenerated before his very eyes. Stealing life essence from people hadn't been enough to heal him, but this was something different - something much more powerful.

"The life force of your bond..." he mused, inspecting his freshly regenerated hands, "a dyad in the Force, unseen for generations." Hearing those words caused them both to exchange a glance in horror as they swiftly attempted to scramble back to their feet and defend themselves from the imminent threat.

"A power like life itself." He mumbled, noticing them standing back to their feet. He put a swift stop to any retaliation, freezing them in place, both immediately struggling to break free. Even from just the tiniest contact with their dyad, he was noticeably stronger, and now he was free to drain them dry.

"Let them go!" Rey demanded, trying to rush over and strike her grandfather, but he foresaw this, and struck her once again but this time the blast was enough to render her unconscious.

"And now, the power of two restores the one _true_ Emperor!" He exclaimed, met with roars of support from the Sith loyalists.

Y/N looked at Ben with desperation in her eyes, she really thought they'd had a chance, but all they had done was serve Palpatine the power to heal himself on a golden platter.

Ben met her gaze, and he looked apologetic. There was no escape for either of them, and what hurt him the most was that he was powerless to help her.

Suddenly, excruciating pain took over both of their bodies as the Emperor began to drain their power. Both of them were brought to their knees, still being held in place by the Force. They each had their teeth gritted, trying not to give Palpatine the pleasure of watching them suffer, but Y/N eventually cracked. A sharp cry of pain escaped her lips, this felt nothing like when she had willingly transferred her life force to Ben back on Endor. This felt like a parasite, forcing itself beneath her skin and into her veins, she could feel her power being viciously ripped from her and it _hurt_. It was more painful than anything she had ever experienced.

Eventually, he let them go. But Y/N couldn't even work out if she was still alive. Her ears were ringing. her head was pounding, her body refused to move no matter how much she willed it to... she was simply a deadweight on the ground.

Ben was very much in the same position, but he was at least able to lift his head enough to see the newly reformed Darth Sideous - in his prime once again. He no longer required the life support, his skin was no longer decaying and his eyes were once again a vibrant yellow rather than burning out. He was more powerful than ever, and it was because of them.

"Look at what you have made." He tauntingly stated, much to the delight of his disciples.

Palpatine had to be stopped, but Ben couldn't possibly think about that right now, not when he knew that Y/N was barely holding on. Despite the aching pain that took over his entire body when he attempted to move, he forced himself to do so. Stumbling as he barely found his footing, he collapsed beside Y/N's body, but just as he went to place his hand on her cheek and try and bring her round, he felt himself once again frozen by the Force.

Y/N felt someone crouched by her and she knew it was Ben, but suddenly he was whisked away, which was enough for her to force her eyes to open, despite them burning when she did so. She saw Palpatine holding him in the air, and she tried to lift her head to get a better look.

"No-" she croaked, inaudible to anybody else. She began to try and move, but her limbs felt like stones in water, keeping her firmly planted where she was. Her body didn't feel as painful anymore, so why could she still not move?

"As once I fell, so falls the last Skywalker." He spat, and in the blink of an eye he threw Ben across the cavern, sending him hurtling into a chasm.

Y/N's heart was in her mouth as she watched in horror. She rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling as she felt a municipal of emotions overwhelm her. Was Ben Solo now just another name on the list of people whom Palpatine had cruelly taken from her? No, he was even more than that. He hadn't just taken Ben, he had taken her other half.

Suddenly she felt as though her body had been released, and she was light as a feather. But now she didn't want to move, any hope she had of winning the day was dissipating - she didn't even bother to acknowledge Rey, who she could see in her peripherals rising back to her feet to face the Emperor alone.

With a bit of willpower, she could get up and help Rey. But there was no willpower. Ben's life force was disappearing by the second, and without him she saw no point. There was no hope in the galaxy, what was there to live for anymore? She had failed.

How did Palpatine always win? No matter what, it seemed that darkness would always triumph. If Anakin couldn't defeat him, how could she ever hope to?

_I thought I raised a survivor._

Obi Wan's voice in her head caused her to squeeze her eyes shut. Above her, Palpatine was singlehandedly electrocuting the entire Resistance fleet using _her_ power... her fault.

_I've survived long enough Father, I'm done with this world._

She had nothing to live for anyway.

_But the world isn't done with you, young one._

_He's right, Y/N. You came here with a mission, and you can still finish it._

Anakin's voice spoke to her this time. Her brain was swelling with both of their presences at the same time - giving her the same message.

_Master, I couldn't beat him when he was on death's door. Now he's more powerful than ever, and he- he killed Ben._

She could admit that feeling Ben's life slowly slipping away felt like she was losing a piece of herself. It was breaking her more by the second - it was a miracle she was holding it together as well as she was.

_I know he did. How does it make you feel._

Anakin pried. He clearly had an angle, but Y/N was too lost in her own emotions to notice.

_Angry._

Was her simple response. Ben turning to the light had tipped the scales of their dyad once again - pushing her back towards the Sith. She was teeming with dark energy, energy which was usually kept at bay by him.

_Good, use it. I taught you how._

Anakin encouraged her, which did undeniably grab her attention.

_That's not the Jedi way - why would you tell me to do that?_

_Because, my dear, we were under the impression that you are not a Jedi._

Obi Wan pointed out, and that confused her even more.

_Father, you would never encourage me to use the dark side. Why now?_

_Because I'm sorry to say it young one, but this is your destiny. It always has been, from the moment you were born._

Her eyes snapped open at that comment, and she could see flashes of blue as Rey attempted to defend herself from her grandfather's lightning blasts. She could see masses of flashing lights and explosions from the sky above her, which hadn't been visible minutes prior. The Final Order's fleet was falling, but if the Emperor survived the Resistance wouldn't be able to finish the job.

She saw everything, but heard nothing. Her heard was still swirling with voices; memories of words previously spoken to her. Words that now all added up to this very moment.

_You can complete your journey to the dark side - become a true Sith Lord._

An omen from Snoke.

_This is not your destiny my apprentice, you belong elsewhere._

Her final moments with Vader.

_From the moment you were born the Force clouded you, you have a destiny larger than any of this._

Clarity from Anakin.

_I raised you to be survivor, and my dear Y/N I could not be more proud of you._

Reassurance from Obi Wan.

_I promise I'll come back for you. Until then, just stay alive.  
_

And Kylo Ren... Ben Solo. He never had the chance to come back for her, Palpatine had killed him before he could. He had once been the light balancing out her darkness, and now he was no longer there to do so.

But she could still avenge him, and get her own personal revenge against the Emperor. Although, would that be what Ben wanted for her? Was this what Anakin and her parents would have wanted for her? Only when that thought crossed her mind did her old master's final words come back to her:

_Whatever happens, and whatever you do, remember that Obi Wan and I will stand behind you._

He had known that this was her destiny. Everything finally became clear in her mind. She had survived this long because that was the will of the Force. It had pushed her towards Kylo Ren so they could explore their dyad, and ultimately his death would fuel her with this unquenchable rage. When she had fought Rey she had told herself that only the dark could beat the dark...

"Move." She suddenly ordered Rey as she hauled herself to her feet.

Rey looked at Y/N, shock evident on her face, "y-your eyes-" she tried to say, but Y/N interrupted her.

"I said _move._ " She ordered again, her voice this time coming out as a low growl. Rey looked almost relieved to step away and allow her exhaustion to take over. She had barely been holding her own against the Emperor, she knew that Y/N was the final hope.

"And Vader's prodigy returns." He cackled, taunting her. Clearly her sudden change in demeanour didn't scare him.

"You made a mistake keeping me alive." She snarled, "you kept me alive and had me trained in the ways of the dark side-" a dry laugh escaped her lips, "-you created your own demise."

"My mistake, Darth Andal." He taunted her, "allow me to rectify my mistakes." Without warning lightning ejected from his hands, and she had no Saber to defend herself with... but she didn't need one.

For the first time, rather than feeling the electrifying agony that came with the Force lightning, she felt a surge of power. Looking down at her own hands she saw them teeming with dark energy and electricity.

Palpatine looked stunned at this, having not believed her sudden surge in dark energy until it now stared him right in the face. "How is this possible? No Jedi could master such a skill." He hissed.

"Thanks to you, I am no Jedi." With a final cutting remark, she let her hatred flow, focusing all of the dark energy on the Emperor. Lightning struck Palpatine, and he was beyond being able to defend himself, so much so that he howled in pain. The last thing he saw was a pair of glowing yellow eyes on the woman he had spent years torturing.

She could feel two presences behind her, and she didn't need to turn around to see who was there. Just like Anakin had told her, he and Obi Wan would be there no matter what. They had known that this was her destiny, Sith or not they stood by her.

As the final remains of the Emperor's body diminished into the air around them, the Sith disciples were also wiped out with Y/N's sheer explosion of power, even Rey was floored in the process.

When she was certain that Palpatine was gone for good this time, Y/N halted her onslaught. She was drained, the same as how she had felt after she'd fought Rey at the Death Star ruins, just multiplied. There was nothing left for her to give, so when she fell to the ground, she accepted it.

She stared upwards, seeing the destruction she had caused, but everything was silent. The Force finally relented from showing her a path and let her accept her fate. This was her time, and she knew that. There would be no joining her father and Anakin in the world between worlds, the Sith were not welcome there, but that was okay. For the first time, possibly in her entire life, she felt completely at peace. This was the end, and she was happy to accept that. With no Ben, there would have been little else for her to live for.

Y/N's eyes fluttered shut as she embraced her fate. Her destiny was fulfilled, and now she could finally rest.

><><><><><><><><><><

Everything had been dark for a few moments, but when Ben jolted awake he was genuinely confused to find himself still alive. The fall should have killed him, it _did_ kill him, but something had brought him back. He had felt a massive surge of energy, dark energy at that, but whatever it was had breathed a second wind into him.

So he was alive, that was a positive. But something felt wrong, _very_ wrong.

He hauled himself to a sitting position, wincing as he did so. His entire body was burning in pain, but he was too focused on the empty feeling within him to care about any physical injuries. It didn't take him long to realise that it was Y/N, she was gone, which meant that she had finally fulfilled her destiny.

Ben forced himself to begin climbing back up through the cavern. She had saved his life on Pillio, Starkiller Base and at the Death Star wreckage - he owed her this.

He reached the top as fast as he physically could, his mind was only on her. As he pulled himself over the ledge he had to summon the strength to stumble over to where he could see Y/N's lifeless body, Rey crouched beside her.

"Move-" he hoarsely said, almost losing his footing as he walked over.

"You're alive?" She said, visibly stunned.

"I said move." He croaked, and this time Rey complied, shuffling backwards to allow Ben space to collapse beside Y/N's body.

He had hoped to feel a flicker left within her, but as he hauled her frame onto his lap he could feel how empty she was.

"I can still save her." He mumbled to nobody in particular, Rey just happened to be there to hear it.

"Ben you need to know, she changed. I-I saw her eyes... they were yellow, just like the Sith." Rey tried to explain, but he didn't need to hear it.

"That was thanks to me, but she's no Sith." He croakily explained before he fell silent. He pulled her close to his chest and buried his face in her neck, he was filled with so much regret that his final moments with her would be here and now. If he had've accepted the truth about Palpatine sooner then perhaps thing would have been different.

Slowly lowering her back down, he placed his hand gently over her stomach and focused his energy. Between Palpatine using their dyad to heal himself and then being thrown down a pit, he barely had anything to give, but he was willing to sacrifice everything he had left if it meant she could live.

As he felt what was left of his life force flowing into her he felt completely at peace. As far as he was concerned, with no Y/N, he had little else to live for.

><><><><><><><><><><

Y/N gulped down a breath as if she had been starved of oxygen, which in reality, she had been. She felt weak, but she was alive... somehow. How exactly was she alive? She remembered falling to the dark side, embracing the Sith once she had been devoid of light, but now the light was back - how?

Her questions were quickly answered when she sat up and found herself face to face with Ben. But how was he also alive?

"I guess we're even now on the life-saving front." She exhaled the smallest laugh, relief washing over her. Perhaps there was still something worth living for.

Ben met her with a smile, a genuine, loving smile, and stars she wished she had seen him smile like that before. His hand came up to stroke her cheek, but just as she was about to relax into his embrace, his touch was gone and his entire body went limp.

"No, Ben, _no!_ " She exclaimed, scrambling to grab him, but there was nothing she could do.

For the second time that day she could feel Ben slipping away, and this time it broke her, because now she knew that he had sacrificed himself for her, and forced her to live a life without him.

"It was supposed to be me-" tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she choked on her words, "-this was my time, not yours... I only just got you back." Her final words came out as a hoarse whisper.

"I'm sorry Y/N." Was all Rey managed to say. She was undeniably relieved to see that Y/N's eyes were no longer glowing yellow, but also wasn't sure how to process the loss of Ben - she couldn't begin to imagine how Y/N was feeling.

"You must be able to do something." With puffy eyes, she turned to Rey, "you healed the serpent, you can heal Ben." Her voice was shaky, rich with emotion.

"I-I'm sorry, I can't." She gently said, "he's already gone."

Above them, the Resistance was destroying the Final Order fleet, and they certainly didn't have long before the planet itself fell.

"We need to go." Rey tried to tell her, but she shook her head.

"I'm not leaving." She was adamant in her tone, her eyes not leaving Ben's motionless body.

"Y/N, he saved you. Don't waste your second chance." Rey's efforts were useless.

"I've had plenty of second chances, I don't need another one." She mumbled.

There was a dip in the Force, one which Rey clearly felt more than Y/N did, or perhaps Y/N was just ignoring it, she couldn't tell.

"No..." Rey quietly muttered, her voice cracking.

She could feel it too, a huge loss, but with this loss came life. Ben's body hadn't disappeared, he died a Jedi which meant that he should've become one with the Force... but he hadn't, and that meant that it wasn't too late. Whatever that dip in the Force had been, it had reignited a spark in him.

_Look after my son, help him to be happy._

Another voice chimed in her mind through the Force, and she recognised it immediately - she had heard it in person a mere few hours ago.

"Princess..." She muttered, knowing that Leia was now at one with the Force. She had given her life so that Ben could have a fighting chance at surviving. That spark that she could now feel within him was thanks to his mother, and Y/N now owed it to Leia to do everything she could to save him. "I promise, I'll look after him." She quietly vowed.

"I need to get him back to your base." Y/N concluded, a sudden determination flooding her veins.

Rey looked at her, her eyes watering. She knew that Leia had just sacrificed herself for her son, which meant that surely she would help Y/N get him off Exegol and to the Resistance base where they could give him proper medical treatment.

They wouldn't be able to get Ben into one of their small fighters, they needed a proper ship to come down here and transport him. Rey focused for a moment and reached out in the Force, but Y/N had no clue who she was reaching out to considering that all the known Force-users were in the cavern. Nevertheless she looked up and nodded, "they're on their way."

"Then go, we can meet you back there." Y/N said, and the two women exchanged a small nod as Rey took off running back towards whatever ship she had travelled to Exegol in.

She had no idea who was coming, but she was ready to fight anyone who tried to deny her taking Ben Solo on board, despite the fact that she barely had the energy to stand, let alone fight.

Moments later the Millennium Falcon came soaring downwards through the open roof of the cavern, landing just in front of Palpatine's ruined throne. The boarding ramp lowered, and Chewie came rushing out, offering her an immediate growl of relief.

When she shakily got to her feet, the wookie swept her up into his arms, and for a moment she truly appreciated the embrace, but her mind was quickly refocused back on Ben.

"Help me get him on board!" She pleaded, and Chewie nodded, gently scooping his body up and carrying him onto the Falcon.

Y/N gathered both of her Lightsabers and limped as she followed, having no clue just how awful she must have looked until she was met by Finn, whose face screwed up in concern. "You okay?" He asked, noticing Ben's body being hauled on board by Chewie.

"Just about." She grumbled, Finn momentarily turning his back, but when he faced her again he was holding Obi Wan's cloak which she had previously left on board, and he wasted no time in draping it over her shoulders.

"What happened?" He had no idea just how much of a loaded question that was, so she offered him the abridged version of events.

"I killed Palpatine, I died, Ben saved me, and now I need to save him." She summarised. Y/N didn't think it was currently her place to tell any of them about Leia's sacrifice. They would all find out when they got back to Ajan Kloss, and until then she knew they deserved to celebrate their victory.

"Well, if you want to see something good, the command ship is about to go down." Finn gently patted her shoulder, and his words gave her an idea.

Glancing over, she was assured that Ben would be safe when she saw Chewie huddled beside the young Solo's body. With revenge on her mind, she clambered up to the cockpit where she thought Poe would be, grunting in pain as she did so.

"Y/N, that you?" Lando's voice summoned her as she stumbled over, using the back of his chair to prop herself up. She was surprised to see him there instead of Poe, but he was a welcome familiar face.

"It's me." She confirmed, Lando not turning around as he focused on getting them back into the air.

"Guess neither of us are dead just yet-" he turned to grin at her but saw the municipal of cuts and scratches that were likely decorating her face, "-although you look it."

"Yeah well, it was a close call." She grimaced, looking out of the cockpit viewpoint to spot the command ship falling from the sky. "Are their communications still active?" She asked.

"Should be, why?" He asked.

"I need you to patch me through." There was a mischievous smirk on her lips as Lando gave a shrug and tapped a few buttons on the console.

"You're on." He quietly prompted her. In the background she could hear various explosions and cries of panic as the ship went down.

"Allegiant General Pryde, are you there?" She innocently called, _really_ hoping that he would hear her.

"Who is that?" She could hear the fear laced in his tone, and she loved it. "Emperor Palpatine is that you?"

"No Pryde, it's Y/N Kenobi. I killed Palpatine, he died in agony, and now I want my voice to be the final thing you hear before you die. I want your life to end _knowing_ that even in death you're still second best to me." Her words cut like a knife, but it felt so good to finally get her revenge on him.

"You pathetic little-" his voice was cut off by the entire Star Destroyer exploding, blowing Pryde into oblivion.

Lando let out a long whistle as the comms went static, "you don't pull your punches kid, I'll give you that."

"Who are you calling kid, Calrissian? I'm only eight years younger than you." She quipped, painfully moving herself to leave the cockpit and get back to Ben.

She limped back over to where a couple of people were crowded around Ben's body. She could hear mumbles of disapproval, and provided that nobody acted on their desire for vengeance against Kylo Ren, she couldn't have cared less about their opinions.

Pushing past everyone she collapsed on a seat beside his body. She could still sense that spark of life within him, and there were the smallest strained breaths leaving his nose. There was absolutely no guarantee that he would survive, he could tip either way, but even just a chance was more than she ever could have hoped for.

"You said you would come back for me when this was all over. It's over now, so don't you dare stand me up." She whispered, bringing his hand to press against her lips.

She was very aware of the numerous Resistance officers surrounding her, and she eventually spoke up.

"I just rid the galaxy of Palaptine, then died, then got brought back only to watch him die... can I at least get a moment of peace?" She hadn't meant to snap, but it had been a long day, and without Ben's presence she wasn't quite as tipped towards the light as she would have been had he been awake.

Sensing her tone, everyone scrambled off to go and begin celebrating their victory together. Now huddled in the corner alone with Ben she wrapped both of her hands around his, clutching it tightly.

"You're going to be okay." She mumbled, unsure as to whether she was talking to Ben, or to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was HEAVY, but really I just hope you all appreciate the dyad mirroring I wrote in
> 
> Also 10,000 hits!! I cannot believe that actually happened!


	37. Chapter Thirty Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With no guarantee that Ben will wake up, Y/N distracts herself by talking to some visitors to his beside, as well as reminiscing over her life and how she got to this point.

When they landed back at the Resistance base, everyone was cheering, hugging and just generally celebrating their victory. As the news of Leia's death rapidly spread, it of course made the mood rather bitter-sweet, but everyone collectively agreed that she would want them to celebrate their victory, a victory that she had spent most of her life working towards.

Y/N saw Rey land in her X-Wing and be reunited with Finn and Poe. The three of them exchanged an emotional hug, relieved to see each other alive. Chewie had stuck with her and Ben, but disappeared when he found out the news about Leia, she assumed that he needed space to mourn. Ben Solo was now the last link to that family.

The last thing she wanted to do was mourn. The best way she could grieve for Leia would be to fulfil her final wish and keep Ben safe, and not waste her sacrifice.

As Ben's unconscious body was swept into the medical bay to find out what they could do to treat him, Y/N followed closely, not wanting to let him out of her sight. The cheers and celebrations sounded great, and sure she had reason to celebrate - after all she had killed Palpatine herself, but this had never been her fight. She had been reluctantly thrown into the war between the Resistance and the First Order, going after Palpatine had been a personal vendetta, it was just convenient that the Resistance benefited from his death. As far as she was concerned, they were welcome to enjoy and revel in their victory, they deserved it.

"He's stable, for now at least." A doctor finally told her, and her brow furrowed.

"Meaning?"

"It means that he might wake up, he might not. Apart from give him life support there isn't much we can do. Medically, there's nothing wrong with him, it's just whether or not he'll have the strength to pull through." This time the doctor explained in more depth, and she gave a slow nod as she calculated this.

"Thank you." She muttered, knowing that the doctor was anxious to go and celebrate with everyone else. With that in mind, she was soon left alone with Ben, his limp hand clutched in her own.

"You had better pull through, or else I'll bring you back just to kill you myself." She muttered, trying not to let her emotions overtake her.

With seemingly a lot of time on her hands, her mind drifted as she wondered what she would do next with her life. The Force was silent, she had no direction or destiny for the first time in her life - she wasn't supposed to have survived Exegol. Living in the world without a purpose was something that Y/N had no idea how to do, she didn't even know where to start. There was an emptiness within her without a constant nagging from the Force, but perhaps it didn't have to be an unwelcome emptiness.

She surprisingly didn't spend long alone. With everyone wanting to enjoy their victory, and the fact that she was sat beside the body of the ex-Supreme Leader, she assumed that nobody would be joining her in the medical bay. However, she had forgotten about the one other person on Ajan Kloss who also had little reason to celebrate.

Hux silently approached, and she rose to her feet when she saw him, suddenly so relieved to have company. To her upmost surprise, the ex-general slowly approached her and suddenly pulled her into a tight hug.

Unsure on how to react to hugs in general, let alone from Hux of all people, she froze for a second but soon returned the embrace for a few moments. They had little to celebrate, but they could at least appreciate the fact that the two of them were still alive.

When he stepped back, he awkwardly cleared his throat and immediately looked embarrassed by his sudden outburst of emotion, and that was only met by a short laugh from Y/N.

"Never change Hux." She commented, "although maybe do change the First Order uniform." She then raised an eyebrow.

"Perhaps." He pursed his lips, before fully taking in her appearance. Y/N was well aware that she looked tattered, covered in scratches, bruises and dried blood, and Hux looked predictably horrified. "What happened on Exegol?"

"I killed Palpatine, I got to look him in the eyes as he died." She said, her voice barely acknowledging this victory anymore. "He's gone for good this time." She then confirmed. 

Hux nodded, slowly taking all of this in, "and what about Ren?" He asked, nodding towards the unconscious body beside them.

"That's Ben Solo." She replied with a sigh, still unable to believe that those words were leaving her lips, "he saved my life, but gave up his own in the process."

He looked surprised at this revelation. Of course he had known of Kylo Ren's Jedi history, but considering how much Ren had loathed any mention of his past, Hux had never anticipated that he would embrace it. "I'm sorry." He eventually said, still trying to piece together everything that had happened on Exegol.

"I'm sorry too." She mumbled, her focus returning to Ben as she sat back down beside his cot. Hux was now in a similar position to her, he had lost everything and almost everyone he had known, and now he had to find a new purpose and place in the world. "What will you do?" She asked.

"I'm not sure. But I want to right my wrongs, not just live with them." He concluded, and his words caused her to cast her mind back to their conversation on Endor. She had helped Hux begin to process his guilt. "Perhaps a job reforming the Republic." He suggested, and she couldn't help but exhale a dry laugh.

"The same Republic that you destroyed using Starkiller Base?" She reminded him, having watched the detonation herself and seen just how much Hux had enjoyed destroying that entire star system.

He cleared his throat, knowing he had been caught out. "Yes well, perhaps I've had a change of heart. Besides, with my input maybe the system won't be so useless." He sneered.

"That much I'm certain of." Y/N snorted at Hux's hubris, but she had to hand it to him, he really had come full circle.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." His tone suddenly softened as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah..." Was all she could quietly respond with, and Hux took that silence as a good time to take his leave. But he paused just before leaving her alone, "what happened to Pryde?"

A devious smirk crossed her lips at his final words, "blown to pieces."

"Very good." He kept up his usual demeanour, but the small grin tugging at the corners of his lips showed just how thrilled he was to know that Pryde had died miserably. From there, he silently left.

She barely had another two minutes alone with her thoughts before another voice caught her attention.

"Hey." Rey said, walking around to sit opposite her on the other side of Ben's body, Y/N silently noting that it was like the medical bay had a revolving door.

"Shouldn't you be celebrating? You won." She looked across at Rey who was still sporting a few wounds of her own.

"We couldn't have done it without you. You have just as much reason to celebrate as everyone else." She gently replied, raising an eyebrow.

Y/N exhaled a small sigh at this, "I should be dead, we both know that. I'll celebrate when I know that he'll be okay." As the words left her lips she reached out to run a hand through his hair. He looked so peaceful, even when she had seen him sleeping back when he was Kylo Ren he had somewhat of a constant scowl set on his face. But not anymore, he now looked completely at peace.

Rey rose to her feet and walked around towards her, producing two Lightsaber hilts, only one of which Y/N recognised as she also stood up.

"Anakin's-" she quietly said, taking the two hilts from Rey's hand, her gaze fixed on the familiar one.

"-and Leia's." Rey finished her train of thought for her, and her brow furrowed as she immediately looked up.

"Where did you get this?" She asked, having had no previous recollection of Leia having a Saber.

"After the Death Star, I went to Ahch-To. I wanted to exile myself, just like Luke had done, but he showed me another way." Rey cryptically explained. "He gave me her Saber and told me that at the end of her Jedi path she saw the death of her son."

That's when it all clicked in Y/N's brain. "She knew that Ben was going to save me."

"And she sacrificed herself for you both." With a sad smile, Rey nodded. "These are yours now. When Ben wakes up he deserves to have his mother's Saber, and Anakin would want you to have his."

"I can't take these. I have Vader's, and my father's." She shook her head, trying to hand them back to her, but Rey stepped away and shook her head. "You'll need them."

"I need to find my own path, away from all of this. These are your Sabers, I need my own." She appreciated Rey's sentiment, and understood it to a certain degree. If there was no connection to the kyber crystals within the weapons, a Jedi or Sith was using the wrong crystal.

"Where will you go?" She asked, this time accepting the Lightsabers and clipping them onto her belt next to her own double-hilt, leaving her waist looking very full and feeling very heavy.

"I'm not sure yet." Rey admitted, "I feel something in the Force, like it's calling me."

"The Jedi Order is in your hands." She glanced down at Ben again, "for the first time in his life he gets to decide what he wants to do without anybody making decisions for him, and you and I both know that I'm no Jedi."

"You think I can rebuild the Order?" Rey's brow furrowed.

"The Order was far from perfect, but that doesn't mean that the Jedi have no place in the world anymore. Forget the past and focus on the future, do what _you_ want to do, not what you think you should do." She tried to give the best advice she could, but it was hard for her to have any insight into what the Jedi should or shouldn't be. "Protect the legacy of those who came before you."

She nodded slowly in response, registering Y/N's words. "Thank you, for everything." She spoke as if this was the last time they would see each other, which it could be. Neither of them knew what their futures would hold. "I hope you both manage to find your place in the galaxy." She said, nodding towards towards Ben.

"If he wakes up, we will. If he doesn't, then I really don't know what I'll do." Y/N admitted, her raw emotions becoming evident.

Rey met this with sympathetic smile, "he will come back to you, I'm confident of that." With a final lingering look, she turned to leave.

"Rey, wait." Y/N summoned her momentarily, and she stopped walking, turning around to face her once again. "When you feel a kyber crystal call to you, meditate on it. The Jedi temple guards back on Coruscant used to have yellow blades, they were the protectors of the Order, and that's you now." Despite her words seeming cryptic, Rey seemed to understand what she meant, simply nodding before leaving. 

Perhaps one day she would see Rey again, and maybe even a new generation of young Jedi, but with different, more evolved ideals.

Her and Ben were once again left alone, and after a while of simply staring at him she could no longer stand the silence. So she spoke her thoughts aloud to him, since there was nobody else around to hear her. Everyone was still celebrating, probably all in frenzies working out what to do next, they were the only two people in the medical bay meaning that there were probably plenty of Resistance officers out there ignoring their injuries.

"Life was easier on Mandalore y'know." She exhaled a dry chuckle, her thumb absentmindedly rubbing circles on Ben's hand. "You would have loved it, although I'm not sure my mother would have approved of you - she wasn't big on violence." At the thought of Satine, the hand not holding Ben's moved to briefly touch her necklace, the one which had once belonged to her mother.

"If that Sith Lord had never come looking for revenge against my father then I would have been Duchess by now. Imagine that, me a diplomat. I know you always thought I had a natural talent for diplomacy, even though you never said it to my face, and you were right. But these days I don't think I'm cut out for politics." She had a fond smile on her lips as she recalled hearing such thoughts in his mind, back when he had still been Kylo Ren.

"Everything changed when Obi Wan took me in, not that he had much of a choice in that matter. He had just lost my mother, and he definitely wasn't bargaining on finding out that he had a daughter in the process. I had barely heard of the Force before he took me to Coruscant, and then suddenly he was telling me all sorts about midi-chlorians and Jedi. Part of me thinks he just didn't know how to process everything, and he used me to distract himself from his grief." She sighed, the pain of those memories bubbling to the surface. She had been so young that at the time none of this had taken much of an emotional toll, because everything was simply masked by confusion. From the moment she lost Satine, her world had been turned upside down to the point where she had barely been given a chance to mourn.

"She would have never wanted this for me. Even my father agreed with that." Another dry laugh was exhaled, "then again, who really would've chosen _this_? I had barely settled into the temple when Order 66 happened, then suddenly I was living on Tatooine with a father who I barely knew." She loved Obi Wan dearly, but that didn't take away from the truth that he hadn't been present for much of her childhood. It wasn't until the shock and betrayal of Order 66 that he realised that he cared more about his daughter than he did anything else.

"I always knew I was meant for more when we were on Tatooine, I just didn't know what exactly I was meant for. My father was happy just to live and die in exile, but it was like every time I tried to push my training and improve I felt like I was just scratching the surface. Looking back, that was probably the case because you weren't born yet." She fondly looked at him for a moment, but the thought of potentially having to live without him suddenly began to torment her mind again.

"Do you remember that dream I had back on Starkiller?" She paused, as if hoping he would reply. "It was so hazy at the time, but I was distraught and all I remember hearing was 'take my hand and I promise you will never feel pain like this again.' Now looking back I remember it clear as anything. It was Vader moments after he murdered my father." There was a bitter note to her tone, but it disappeared when she exhaled a short sigh, "but I know why he did it, even if I still somewhat resent him for it. The Force seemed to dictate all of our actions for a long time."

She fell silent then, knowing that she was essentially just talking to herself. Anyone listening in would just have assumed she had gone crazy. But eventually she couldn't stand the silence once again. When she wasn't talking, her mind was plaguing her with every single terrible outcome that could be on the horizon should Ben not wake up. Reflecting on her life was providing her with a much needed distraction.

"I hated you when I first woke up, although you definitely already knew that." She remembered seeing him for the first time in the med-bay, how he had instantly been hostile towards her and as time went by she realised it was because he had been threatened by her presence. "Snoke intended to pit us against each other from day one, if he'd known about the dyad he probably would have had me killed long before."

"Then you tried to read my mind, and it turned out you were even more of an asshole than I ever thought possible. _Then_ we couldn't even have a conversation without it ending in a fight, and trust me given the opportunity I would have killed you." She laughed slightly at just how ridiculous it seemed now looking back. She had woken up in a bed and he had been at her side with an air of hostility, and now she was by his bedside with nothing but concern for him... how times had changed.

"I would have given anything to get you out of my head at first, but now I miss hearing your stupid thoughts more than anything. Kriff, I even miss feeling my stomach rumble an hour after I've eaten breakfast because you're already ready to eat your second breakfast of the day." She smiled fondly, before her expression turned back towards a frown, "I really don't know what I'll do if you don't wake up Ky- Ben." She corrected herself, despite the fact that he may not have even been able to hear her.

"We wasted so much time hating each other, but thinking back now to the Jedi Temple, to Tatooine, even to the Empire, I was always missing something. It sounds so pathetic," she snorted, "but without you I'm just... _incomplete._ There's no easier way to describe it." As she concluded that thought, emotion began to overwhelm her. How was she supposed to live knowing that she would never be able to feel complete again?

A tear rolled down her cheek, something which startled her slightly. She hadn't realised that her eyes had even been welling up, but she found herself even more startled when she heard a weak, croaky voice.

"You're right, it does sound a bit pathetic." Ben's murmur caused her to jolt to her feet, immediately leaning over his body to see if she had been dreaming. His eyes were still shut, but his dry lips were slowly curling upwards into a smirk. "I remember that dream. It was the first night I came to your quarters." He reminded her, "but up until then I'm pretty sure I also wanted you dead." With that final mumble, his eyes slowly opened, but they immediately squeezed shut again as he attempted to adjust to the light.

"Kriff, you heard all of that?" Y/N let out an emotional laugh as the tears continued to uncontrollably fall down her face, one hand reaching out to comb through his hair as she coaxed him back to consciousness.

"Just about." He ventured opening his eyes again, this time his brown pupils dilating as they adjusted to the light. "How are you feeling?" He immediately asked, a shaky hand coming to trace over one of the scratches that painted Y/N's face.

"I feel better than I look." She assured him, moving a hand to rest over his own. "Which is thanks to you."

"Well-" he began, grunting as he pushed himself to sit up, "-I owed you." He teased her, reminding her of her ongoing habit of saving his life.

They fell silent after that. She could feel his emotions swirling around her mind, and they were mixing with her own. There was a lot up in the air between them, so much that would likely go unsaid, but other things that needed to be brought up.

"Your mother-" she began to say, swallowing the lump in her throat that formed at the thought of being the person who breaks the news to Ben.

"-I know." He interrupted her, and her eyes widened slightly, "she spoke to me through the Force, she told me not to blame myself."

"I'm sorry." She hoarsely said, slowly lowering herself to sit on the edge of the cot.

"So am I." He said, his eyes meeting hers. She could see water pooling in the corners of them, but he refused to let any tears fall. "I should have listened to you about Palpatine."

"Don't do that." She shook her head, "you can't dwell on it now. Besides, things happened how they were always supposed to, or were you not listening to my monologue?" She attempted to make some light of the situation, a small smile crossing her lips.

"I especially liked the part where you called me an asshole." He groaned as he threw his legs over the side of the cot, moving to stand. When he stumbled, Y/N swept in to catch him and help him find his footing.

"I'm not entirely sure where you're planning on going." She wrapped her arm around his back and allowed him to lean on her for support as they slowly moved to leave the medical bay.

"That depends," he stopped for a moment and glanced at her, "where are you planning on going?"

"You think I had anything planned beyond dying on Exegol?" She raised an eyebrow, "what are ex-Sith supposed to do in this galaxy?"

"About the same as ex-Supreme Leaders probably." He snorted as they began to walk again. They fell silent, but she replayed his words over in her head, and picked up on something.

"You said it depends on where I'm going." She quietly said, her brain still whirring.

Ben hummed, acknowledging this, "and?"

"That means you want to stay with me?" They stopped walking yet again at her words, seemingly destined to never leave the medical bay.

"Of course I want to, why wouldn't I?" His brow furrowed momentarily.

"I don't know, I just assumed that-" she cut herself off, the words sounding almost ridiculous now that they were leaving her mouth, "never mind." She tried to brush it off, but now that he was stable on his feet and regaining his strength he shuffled out of her grip in favour of gently pulling her against his chest by her waist.

"You assumed that things would be different... that we might be more like strangers than anything else." His hands gently squeezed her waist, "you were thinking it very loudly."

"Well, am I wrong?" She hesitantly asked. The same way they had been forced to get to know each other again after she had regained her memories, they were in a similar situation now. She had never known Ben Solo, so part of her felt like he was a stranger to her, but the other part of her knew that Ben and Kylo were just two sides of the same coin.

"Things are different." He admitted, "but not us." His lips pressed a lingering kiss on her forehead before he mumbled against her skin, "wherever you go, I'll come with you." That tender moment was fleeting as he withdrew to raise an eyebrow at her, a smirk on his lips, "provided you'll let me come with you that is."

"I guess I could put up with you for a bit longer." She laughed, her hands linking behind his neck as she pulled his lips down to meet her own. It was a slow, gentle kiss. Every apprehension about the future was pushed aside as they simply allowed themselves to feel at peace with one another. They knew they could work it out.

"I love you, you know that right?" Ben quietly mumbled against her lips, causing her heart to skip a beat. Of course this wasn't news to her, but suddenly those words weren't getting tangled and he was here saying it to her face. She remembered in Snoke's throne room when they had first realised that they loved one another just as much as they did, who could have known where they would have ended up after all that time.

"I know." She whispered, her lips ghosting his, "I love you too." With that confirmation, Ben sealed them into another kiss.

This one was deeper than the last, Y/N being pulled flush against his broad chest. They no doubt would have been finding their way to what had been Y/N's temporary bunk had they not been interrupted.

"Kenobi, we need to talk-" Hux's voice trailed off very swiftly when he saw the scene before him. "Or, we could come back..."

As their lips parted, Y/N could immediately feel Ben stiffen and sense his tension. He hadn't quite prepared himself to come face to face with anyone who wasn't her.

"We interrupting something here?" With a sloppy smirk on his face, Poe raised an eyebrow, swiftly met by Finn jabbing an elbow into his stomach.

_Why's the mole here?_

She could hear Ben grumbling in her head, causing her to visibly roll her eyes.

_Play nice._

"What's up?" She cleared her throat, trying to ignore the rising tension in the air between Ben and... well, everyone.

"We came to say goodbye." Finn awkwardly said, trying not to allow his gaze to linger on Ben for too long.

"Goodbye?" Her brow furrowed, but before she could question it any further she was forced to turn to Hux and Ben, who she could see glaring at each other in her peripherals. "Will you two just get a room? I thought I'd finally be done putting up with your bickering."

"But he-" they both started to complain in unison, before Y/N raised a hand.

"Just behave, or so help me I will kick both of your asses." She warned them, both men knowing she probably wasn't bluffing.

"We're going to Coruscant to start reforming the Republic." Finn explained, "although first I'm going with Rey to... wherever it is she's going."

Y/N knew that Rey was on the path of the Jedi, so she was confused by Finn's involvement, "why are you going with her?" She asked.

"A feeling." He simply said, and that's when it clicked. In the sinking pit back in the Forbidden Desert of Pasaana he had wanted to tell Rey something, and then on Exegol the Falcon had managed to find her and Ben in the cavern - it had been Finn. He was Force sensitive.

Electing to not share this revelation aloud, she nodded, understanding, "and you two?"

"There are still rogue First Order factions out there that need destroying." Poe said, "once the Republic is up and running again I'll take a team and snuff them out, Chewie will come along too."

"And I'm turning my attention to the reinstating the senate." Hux proudly informed, met with mocking laugh from Ben beside her.

"After blowing up the last one?" He snorted.

"I don't seem to recall you having any complaints at the time." Hux sneered and Y/N simply pinched the bridge of her nose.

"What about you two?" Finn hazarded addressing the question to them both.

"We-" she turned to Ben who looked like a deer caught in headlights, merely shrugging at her, "I don't think we're exactly welcome at this base. We'll lay low somewhere for a while and work out what we want to do." Although it sounded like a good plan, she had no idea where exactly they would lay low.

"Chewie actually wanted to see you, he doesn't know you're awake yet." Poe calmly told Ben, who nodded in response. Y/N was silently so grateful that they were treating him fairly considering the circumstances, but at the same time they had treated her just as well when she had fled the First Order.

They all left the medical bay together, Y/N briefly hanging back and handing Ben the two Sabers around her waist that belonged to him. "Rey wanted you to have these." She quietly told him.

He took them in silence, but she could see his fists tighten around them, as if he never wanted to let them go. He knew who they had belonged to without her having to say a word, and when he looked back up at her, he smiled - the same smile she had seen back on Exegol, the same smile she would never get tired of seeing.

Without another word they then followed the others back out to where everyone had landed their ships and immediately began celebrating. Although now the crowd had dwindled down, there was still roistering to be seen and heard, as there likely was across the whole galaxy. 

As they moved through the crowd and towards the Falcon she could feel how tense Ben was feeling, and she couldn't blame him. Everywhere they walked people fell silent and stared at him, whispering to one another.

'That's Kylo Ren.'

'Isn't that the Supreme Leader?'

'The General's son, that's him.'

Hearing these comments, she reached down and took his hand in her own, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She could feel him getting stressed, and him losing it wasn't going to look good for either of them.

When they made it through the crowd they were greeted by Chewie, who let out a roar of delight when he laid eyes on the young Solo, loud enough to spread across almost the whole Resistance camp.

"I-" Ben tried to say, but he was immediately cut off, being swept up into the wookie's arms and squeezed so tightly that he may well have cracked a rib.

Y/N smiled fondly as Hux and Poe came to stand beside her, Finn having left to find Rey so they could leave to go on their own journey.

"So, Coruscant, how about it?" Poe grinned at her, giving her a firm slap on the back.

"It doesn't look like Chewie is giving us much choice in the matter." She smirked, her heart almost melting when she saw Ben return the wookie's embrace.

With Ben at her side, she was certain that together they would find their place in the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me, I'm not great at writing Ben Solo compared to Kylo!!
> 
> But yay for happy endings? 
> 
> Last chapter will be an epilogue, just to round everything up!


	38. Epilogue

"I need the bill on my desk by tomorrow."

"Yes, I heard you the first three times."

"Well I've found that if I don't remind you at least three times you tend to selectively ignore things."

"I'll selectively put my boot up your ass if you're not careful."

"How charming." Hux sneered, knowing that Y/N was half joking, but nevertheless he chose not to pester her any further. "I shall see you in the morning."

"Lucky me." She snorted under her breath.

"I heard that Kenobi." Hux called over his shoulder as he walked away, not bothering to turn around again. She just laughed quietly, before walking to the hanger of the recently-revived Senate building to hop onto her speeder and take off.

She arrived home within minutes, leaving her speeder parked on the balcony of the apartment and walking inside.

"You're definitely not going to have that bill on his desk by tomorrow." Ben pointed out as soon as she entered, not looking up from the datapad he was clearly invested in from his spot on the sofa.

"You say you have no interest in joining the Senate, then spend all day eavesdropping on my conversations in the Senate... make it make sense." She teased him, pushing his legs aside so she could throw herself down next to him.

"If I remember rightly, you weren't exactly keen on joining the Senate either." He exhaled a deep chuckle, met only by a roll of Y/N's eyes.

"Yeah, funny how a 'short favour' for Hux has turned into a career that I didn't ask for." She grimaced, "somedays I wonder if I actually want to punch him, or if you're just putting the thought in my head."

"Bit of both?" Ben snorted. Through everything his disdain for Hux had stood strong - it was almost an ongoing joke amongst everyone else. They had no reason to dislike each other anymore, but old habits died hard. Y/N on the other hand didn't truly hate Hux, she simply hated working with him, in reality she actually cared about him more than she would ever let on and the same vice versa. Whilst he was passionate about what he was doing in the Senate, she was not, meaning that she had little motivation to actually do her job.

Almost a year had passed since the Resistance had triumphed and they had moved to Coruscant. As the last remaining Skywalker, Ben Solo had inherited his grandmother, Padmé Amidala's, old apartment, which had been left deserted and unclaimed since the end of the Clone Wars

Since neither of them had a clue what direction to go in, Y/N had reluctantly fallen into working in the Senate. Having a Supreme Chancellor oversee proceedings had historically proven to be a position open to corruption, therefore it was decided that a Supreme Council would be the governing body and regulate the senators. The members of this council were to be voted on, but initially in the time of crisis it had fallen to Armitage Hux, Poe Dameron, Y/N Kenobi, Maz Katana and Rose Tico to take up the mantle and rebuild the New Republic. Due to all of their hard work and combined experience within the First Order, Resistance and even the Empire, they had soon been permanently voted in by the Senate - they were a perfect balance given that they appealed to both planets which had sided with the First Order, and planets which hadn't.

Ben had reminded her over and over again that the name Kenobi was well-recognised in Old Republic history, and so was the name Kryze. Of course, she didn't use the latter name, but it wasn't long before her true heritage was found out amongst senators - she was related to not only the famed Negotiator and Jedi war hero, but the level-headed and widely adored Duchess of Mandalore. Although she had inherited her mother's talent for politics, she had also inherited her father's hatred of it. It was simply a means to an end, whereas people like Hux undoubtedly thrived in these positions of power.

"I'm just not cut out for diplomacy." She concluded, exhaling a long sigh. "Dameron gets to focus on the military side of things, but if I join him I'll just be opening myself up to helping Rey's crusade to train a new generation of Jedi."

"You know we have this conversation almost every day." Ben aptly pointed out, leaning forward to place his datapad on the coffee table in front of them. "Just quit."

"But what am I supposed to then? Just sit around here all day and mope?" As soon as the words left her mouth she grimaced, "sorry, that wasn't meant to be a dig at you."

Whereas once upon a time, Ben may have taken offence to that statement, he brushed it off with laugh, "well as fun as sitting around and moping is, it doesn't pay well." He had been adamant to stay out of politics - unlike Hux he did not care to repent for his sins by working for the New Republic, he just wanted a quiet life. Many of Ben's days were spent on the Falcon, making numerous repairs and improvements so it was ready for when Chewie would take it out on missions. It had taken him a long time to adjust to a life without Kylo Ren, and a life where he had to live with the guilt of his actions, but Y/N knew exactly how that felt.

Neither of them were overly confident about the directions of their lives now that Palpatine was gone and by some miracle they were both still alive. Y/N had considered returning to Tatooine, but she saw no valid reason to go back to living a life in exile. Although it had once been home, there really was nothing there for her now.

That evening went as most of their evenings did: Ben would calmly listen to Y/N's endless venting about how exhausting the Senate was and how she had never realised Hux could be so irritating to work with. He largely remained silent, only interjecting the odd cutting remark about Hux, which would cause Y/N to roll her eyes and laugh. He would then share the slightly less eventful ins and outs of his own day, and each of them would regularly comment about how domestic their lives had become given that they were used to the complete opposite.

As the sun set, Ben went to the refresher to shower, leaving Y/N on her own. In his absence, she made her way out onto the balcony to gaze at the Coruscant cityscape, basked in a burnt orange glow. In the distance she saw the spires of the Jedi temple, and her gaze immediately became transfixed on them. The temple was long since abandoned, and she had been meaning to get word to Rey that the Senate was willing to open it back up for her should she wish to utilise it for her new generation of Jedi. Nevertheless, she felt something as she looked at the building - almost like the Force stirring within her, encouraging her to pull on this thread.

She certainly had no intentions of trying to become a Jedi, and she knew Ben didn't either. He was more than happy to pick up a blaster instead of a Lightsaber. However, she couldn't help but wonder what else was out there, especially since she knew that she couldn't spend the rest of her life playing politics.

To the left of the temple her eyes were drawn to opera house, faintly visible in the distance. She thought back to the evening spent there with the First Order, her and Ben in their formal robes and sharing a tender moment on the balcony. If Pryde had never spotted them that night and discovered the truth, then perhaps now their lives would have been entirely different. Although it had been difficult at the time to say the least, leaving the First Order had turned out to be a necessary step to reach her end goal - now that she could see the bigger picture she realised that Pryde had indirectly done her a favour.

She felt Ben approaching her from behind, and didn't turn around. His arms slowly wrapped around her shoulders, his head resting atop of hers.

"I wouldn't give him that much credit." He snorted, quite obviously referring to Pryde. Since moving to Coruscant, the dyad had only strengthened. Now with little effort they could share every thought with one another if they wanted to, and generally neither of them filtered their thoughts from each other anymore.

"Don't get me wrong, I still despise the man." She reminded him, her hands slowly moving to hold onto his wrists.

"Even though he's dead?" He then challenged her, his voice muffled by her hair as he planted a lingering kiss on her head.

"Just because I got to watch him be blown to bits, doesn't mean I'm ready to be a Jedi and let go of my hatred." She snorted.

"Could have fooled me - you keep staring at the temple." He pointed out, and she exhaled a long sigh, wriggling in his grip to turn around and face him. In turn, his hands moved to wrap around her waist.

"I don't want to be back at the temple." She told him, truthfully. "Looking at it just made me think, and then I was remembering that night at the opera house - although things were far from perfect, you have to admit that our lives were more exciting back then. Kriff, I went from being the Sith Lord who killed Palpatine to being a _politician._ " Her face scrunched up as she said it out loud, "and you're bored too, don't act like you're not. I know you love working on the Falcon, but wouldn't you rather be flying it?"

Admittedly they had both fallen into this routine of domesticity because they didn't know what else to do. Neither of them had much experience living a 'normal' life with jobs, and social lives.

Ben hummed as he thought about his response. He knew that she was right, but he was still carrying an unshakable mistrust of himself. His mother's sacrifice still felt fresh, and he still hadn't fully processed his own guilt for his actions as Kylo Ren.

"Ben-" Y/N's voice cut through his thoughts, "you can't spend the rest of your life doing nothing and hoping that the guilt will go away, because it won't." She told him the harsh truth, but there was no point in lying to him. She would be lying if she said that she didn't still feel guilty about her past with the Empire.

He knew she was right, he had just found it hard to accept up until now. Every day Y/N came home and complained about working in the Senate, and admittedly he had grown weary of simply being the Falcon's repairman.

"Then where do you want to go?" He looked at her with a small smirk on his face.

"I actually had an idea about that."

><><><><><><><><><><><

When morning broke, Y/N was prepared to get up early to go to the Senate and speak to the Supreme Council, but this plan was thwarted by Ben gently pulling her body back against his chest.

"Five more minutes." He grumbled, his face nuzzling into her hair.

It didn't take long for five minutes to become an hour, especially after Ben's hands had subtly started to roam Y/N's body as he planted teasing kisses across the back of her neck.

Eventually, they did both get out of bed and get dressed. These days Ben opted to wear simple black clothing: trousers, boots, jacket and a blaster holster around his thigh. He also kept both Leia and Anakin's old Sabers attached to his belt, despite the fact that he only used them to give Y/N someone to train against.

Y/N meanwhile still wore her same robes, as well as Obi Wan's cloak and Satine's necklace. She wasn't ready to embrace any change just yet. Besides if she truly embraced her position in the Senate then she'd be wearing elaborate gowns, and that was something which she simply refused to do.

As she made her way to leave their apartment, she noticed Ben following her and she turned to him, confused.

"Why exactly are you coming with me?" Not that she minded the company, but Ben usually refused to step foot in the Senate building for fear of being recognised as Kylo Ren.

"You think I'm going to miss an opportunity to make Hux miserable?" He snorted, and she just rolled her eyes, trying not to show that she was also going to find Hux's inevitable meltdown slightly funny.

Together they went to the Senate building, Y/N swiftly making her way through the halls before anyone noticed that she was arm in arm with the ex-Supreme Leader. They quickly made it to the Supreme Council's office, where she knew she would be late for a meeting.

As predicted, when the blast doors flew open, everyone else was gathered around the table, already deep in discussion. But as soon as Hux caught sight of her, he jumped to his feet.

"You're going to get on my last nerve, you know that? Late for the meeting, no bill on my desk, need I go on?" He threw his hands up into the air in exasperation. "I never recall you being this difficult when you were with the First Or-" he paused, his attention turning to Ben, "and why are _you_ here Solo, last time I checked this is a Supreme Council meeting."

"And last time I checked I could still remove your head from your shoulders if I felt like it." He retorted, to which Hux just looked horrified.

"Enough." Y/N sighed, gently moving Ben aside, "I quit." She suddenly announced, and that got the attention of everyone in the room.

"Y-you what?" Hux was in sheer disbelief.

"We're leaving Coruscant." She then explained.

"To do what?" This time it was Poe who spoke up, but he didn't look half as agitated as Hux did.

"Hunt bounties." Ben interjected this time, having absolutely no finesse in breaking the news.

_Nicely done._

She dryly commented through their dyad.

_What? There's no point in dragging this out._

He responded, and she couldn't say he was wrong.

"Bounty hunters... you two? You can't be serious." Hux said, in disbelief.

"I don't know, I kinda see it." Poe shrugged, grinning at the two of them, "another month here and I think Kenobi would have lost her cool."

"What do you mean you 'see it?'" Hux snorted, his attention turning to Poe, making air-quotes as he spoke.

"Poe is right, Chancellor Hux." This time it was Maz Katana who spoke up, adjusting her oversized glasses as she shuffled closer to inspect them both. This was very much typical behaviour for Maz - she had lived for longer than any of them, and she tended to get a closer look at people, as if she was staring into their soul. "This is no place for a Solo and a Kenobi. I may not have known your father or mother, but I heard enough stories to know that you are capable of far more than being a senator," she addressed Y/N, "but I did know your parents, Ben Solo. Han and Leia would want you to be happy above all - so go, do what you must."

At the mention of his parents, Ben bit the inside of his cheek as he tried to prevent the immense amount of guilt he felt about their deaths from swelling to the surface.

"Thank you, Maz." Y/N respectfully nodded at her, appreciating both her wisdom and support.

"I have some old contacts on Takodana, they'll definitely have bounties worth a force-user's time. I'll send word ahead that you're coming." Turning away to go back to her seat, Maz casually waved her hand as she hopped back into the chair, both Y/N and Ben exchanging a surprised glance at how helpful she was.

"No no no-" Hux's voice once again caught their attention as he began to pace back and forth in front of the council's table. "This simply won't work. You can't just pack up and _leave_ to go and be Bounty Hunters."

"Yes, we can." Ben dryly responded, earning a glare from Hux.

"I don't give a damn if you leave, Solo - it's your girlfriend we need." He hissed, and before Ben could move to choke Hux just like old times, Y/N's hand had shot out in front of his chest to stop him.

"I think you can let that one slide, Hux is clearly just upset." She calmly told Ben, shooting the Chancellor a warning look to bite his tongue.

"I am _not-_ " Hux tried to protest, but she just raised an expectant eyebrow at him, until he sighed in defeat. "Do come back and visit." He eventually said, the reluctance clear in his tone. It was the closest they would get to a sincere 'goodbye,' but it was written all over his face that he would miss having Y/N around after all this time.

"Don't hold your breath." Ben snorted, before letting out an 'ow' as Y/N elbowed him.

"We'll see you all soon, I'm sure of that." She bowed her head to them all, "and if you ever need to hire our services, just call." A smirk crossed her lips as they left the room, quickly hurrying out of the Senate and towards the docking bays where the Falcon was.

Their final goodbye was an emotional farewell to Chewie, who had formed a closer relationship with Ben than ever over the past months, but equally he had immediately understood their decision to leave. Chewie had wanted Ben to get back into the world, and now he finally was.

Aboard the Falcon, Ben did a majority of the piloting, with Y/N only assisting when he asked for her help - even after this long her skills were still rusty at best. Besides, Ben was in his element when flying, her speciality was still in combat, which would come to make them the perfect team of Bounty Hunters.

When they arrived on Takodana, Maz had called ahead as she said she would. They were not only given accommodation in Maz's Castle, but they immediately were spoilt for choice when it came to clients. Clearly their reputation preceded them - whereas once being Kylo Ren and Darth Andal was something to be ashamed of amongst the Senate, here it made them immediately infamous. People had heard stories of the Supreme Leader, and of Vader's apprentice, they were a force to be reckoned with.

Maz's Castle on Takodana became a somewhat permanent residence for the pair of them as they picked up bounties back-to-back. Their infamy grew every day, Y/N Kenobi being known for her unbeatable Lightsaber combat, and Ben Solo for his unparalleled piloting skills. Rumours spread that they moved in perfect motion, and could communicate without even sharing a glance, but nobody quite knew the truth behind these...

Occasionally they would even return to Coruscant at Hux's request to undertake a bounty for the Senate.

However fast-paced their lives had become, every now and then they would take time away to spend together. They had become fond of a spot on Takodana which overlooked the vast Nymeve lake, which on that particular evening was shimmering as the sun set.

Y/N glanced at Ben, who was sat on the grass beside her. He was deep in thought, that much she knew, but she could also feel something else.

"You're nervous." She pointed out, and he didn't turn to face her as he responded.

"No I'm not." He tried to brush the comment aside, aimlessly throwing a rock into the lake.

"Now you're lying." She pressed, "I know you're scared to ask me something." She could feel her heart racing, and her palms sweating - both typical traits of Ben's when he was nervous.

"Stars Y/N, you'll never let me do things the easy way, will you." He stated, shaking his head as a gentle laugh escaped his lips. He then finally turned to her, "I _was_ going to say something romantic, and then ask you to marry me, but I guess I'll have to skip the romance." He said, a sheepish grin crossing his face.

Y/N couldn't quite believe the words were leaving his mouth. Sure, there was nobody else she could ever spend her life with, but marriage wasn't something either of them had discussed much - it wasn't that she was opposed to the idea, she had simply been caught off guard. But the more she thought about it the more she realised that she wanted nothing more than to marry him.

_So is that a yes?_

His voice in her head reminded her that he could hear her internal monologue, and a grin broke out on her face as she said, "that's a yes."

Relief washed over Ben, and she couldn't help but tease him, "never mind about the cliché speech, neither of us were ever much good at romance anyway."

"True, it wouldn't have been right to call it 'love a first sight.'" He chuckled, leaning in to capture her lips in a kiss.

The fell back on the grass, simply revelling in the moment as their lips moved against each other. A few feet away from where they were, two figures who were basked in a pale blue light faded into view, but both Y/N and Ben were too distracted to notice.

"Y'know Master, I think we did a good job raising Y/N." Anakin grinned, patting Obi Wan on the back.

_"We?"_ He simply responded, turning to his padawan with an expectant eyebrow raised, "what do you mean _we?"_

"Oh come on, you think she got all of her traits from you and Satine?" He jokingly frowned.

"No, I think she got all of her _good_ traits from me and Satine." Obi Wan snorted as his arms folded across his chest. Although he hadn't said it aloud, Anakin could always tell that he was bursting with pride every time he saw his daughter, regardless of whether or not he approved of her lifestyle.

"Who else would have taught her how to think on her feet?" Anakin retorted.

"You call it thinking on your feet, I call it recklessness." He simply rolled his eyes, "I don't suppose marrying into the Skywalker family will help much with that either." He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Don't act like you aren't excited Obi Wan." Anakin looked at him with his trademark smirk on his lips, "first step is being a father-in-law, next step? Grandkids." He teased him, nudging him with his elbow.

"Please Anakin, one thing at a time." Obi Wan sighed, but beneath the demeanour he was clearly unable to hide his smile at the thought of having grandchildren. "Any younglings would be strong in the Force I suppose." He mused, immediately beginning to calculate the best way to train a youngling from the world between worlds.

"Take it from me, having grandkids is a breeze." Anakin shrugged.

"I'm sure it is when you have absolutely no involvement in your own grandson's upbringing." Obi Wan scolded him.

"I had indirect involvement by getting your daughter to him!" At this comment the two of them began to bicker, but were quickly cut off by Y/N's voice.

"Seriously? You know we can hear you." She raised an eyebrow, still laying on top of Ben on the grass, who looked as though he was silently wondering what he had gotten himself into. He still hadn't grown used to the intermittent visits from both his grandfather and soon to be father-in-law.

"Sorry, sorry-" Anakin put up his hands in surrender, "we'll leave you to it."

"But do consider younglings, won't you. It would be a shame to waste the potential of this bloodline." Ever the practical thinker, Obi Wan scratched his beard as he pondered.

"I am the Chosen One, after all." Anakin interjected, a sloppy grin on his face, but he was only met by Obi Wan's look of dismay.

"Enough Anakin, I meant _my_ bloodline." The bickering continued as the two of them faded away, but Y/N had no doubt that they would be back to make more horribly embarrassing comments to them both very soon.

She looked at Ben, and quickly grimaced before rolling off him. "Way to kill the mood." She shook her head, still trying to recover from the embarrassment.

_"Kids?"_ Ben simply looked at her, slightly shellshocked by the whole ordeal.

"Let's table that discussion for a much, _much_ later date please." She grimaced, certainly not wanting to think about it for the foreseeable future. "We've only been engaged for five minutes, can we not just enjoy that for a big longer?"

Ben rose to his feet, and reached out a hand to help pull her up, "that works for me." He said, before slowly walking hand in hand with her back to Maz's Castle.

They had certainly come a long way since the day Kylo Ren had watched a mysterious woman be pulled out of carbon-freezing in the Starkiller Base med-bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe that this fic is finished!
> 
> Seriously, I want to thank everyone who has read, left kudos, and written lovely comments - as cheesy as it sounds, the support helped push me through a good few occasions where I had writer's block! I won't be undertaking another project this big for the foreseeable future whilst I focus on my Masters degree, but I will be continuing to post requests, one shots and mini-series over on my Tumblr (renfics.tumblr.com) and I'm happy to post them over here as well if anyone would be interested in that?
> 
> But yes, the end is here and I hope you all enjoyed the wild ride! Much love to you all, and thanks so much again for reading this whole time.
> 
> Let me know what your favourite moments were, I'm really curious to know! My personal favourite is the throne room sequence where reader and Kylo realise that they're actually in love and then Rey drops the Kenobi bomb haha
> 
> EDIT: If you're interested in reading my new Kylo/reader fic called Marooned, [click here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28074543/chapters/68781570)/find it on my profile!


End file.
